OCD and Trichotillomania

[Arian Maverick]

I know, I know...you probably only clicked this link because you're wondering what the heck trichotillomania actually is

More details can be provided by the link I provided, but basically this is disorder is characterized by an irresistable urge to pull out hair. I know it sounds weird, but I have suffered from this in the past believe that I am experiencing symptoms again. Are there any astrological implications in my natal chart that might suggest such a disorder?

Arian Maverick

 

[Draco]

Hi B,

I didn't need to look at the link to know what this is, I have seen it's consequences first hand. I actually have two sisters who have experienced this form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder from time to time. My eldest sister was so bad at one point she had big bald patches in her head.

I also have a form of OCD. I cannot stop biting my nails as well as the skin around my finger tips, sometimes until they bleed, I always have and probably always will. It is an obsession I have always had and it just seems natural to me. When I was younger, I used to be so bad, that when I would have no nails left to bite off because I had bitten them down to the wick, I would start on my toenails! Now that's mad! Such is the nature of a self abusive obsessive disorder. The thing is, people do not recognise nail biting as an obsessive disorder because t is relatively common, but it is just as much so as a person who cannot but help pull out their hair strand by strand.

I suppose things such as trichotillomania and habitual nail biting are forms of self abuse, such as cutting oneself or anorexia, except of course our obsessions are much less destructive than some, although I have been through phases of cutting myself as well in the past, and have the scars to prove it.

As far as the astrology concerned I am not sure, because I have never actually looked at my chart to see where my self abusive, obsessive patterns of habitual behaviour might be coming from astrologically. My bet would be that it is something to do with the Moon, because the Moon has long been associated with forms of 'madness', and I suppose to eat your fingers and pull out your hair is a bit mad really. The Moon rules over all sorts of oddities and peculiarities, so I would look and see what your Moon is doing in your chart.

If you are trichotillomaniac, then it might be worth looking in your chart to try and identify OCD first, and then see why this leaning to OCD might manifest as hair pulling in your particular case. I think that those of us who have a tendency to OCD could have it manifest in many different ways, depending on all sorts of factors. In my case it is with my nails and fingers, in your case, as with my sisters, pulling out your hair, but what we all have in common is that all these things are obsessive-compulsive behaviours.

I will have a look at my chart and try to see where I think that such tendencies may be apparent in my own chart, and then see how my ideas compare with your own.

Until then it will interesting to see what others think. Are there any others who have similarly self destructive obsessive compulsive behaviour patterns, and do you feel that you can identify such tendancies in your chart?

My bet would be that the Moon would feature as a main culprit.

Draco

 

[Arian Maverick]

Thank you for your kind and honest response, Draco.

I suppose things such as trichotillomania and habitual nail biting are forms of self abuse, such as cutting oneself or anorexia, except of course our obsessions are much less destructive than some, although I have been through phases of cutting myself as well in the past, and have the scars to prove it.

It's nice to know I'm not the only one on the forums who's suffered through these sorts of problems. I have also experimented with cutting my forearm with bottle caps and car keys, and although the scars have faded and discolored with time, they remain a blatant reminder of my past.

There's such taboo surrounding mental illness--especially self-injury--that I almost deleted this post several minutes before you replied, fearing that others would look upon me with revulsion. However, I reckon that there is no way to experience healing without confronting my inner demons and giving them an unmitigated kick in the ****

EDIT: Do you suppose the harmonious aspects in my Fourth Harmonic Chart may be to blame? I remember reading an article about Harmonics on Bob Marks' Website about this a while ago...here is an excerpt:

The Fourth Harmonic: The 4th harmonic shows how we deal with stress, strain, and struggle. When you construct a 4th harmonic chart, all of the conjunction, square, and opposition aspects in the original horoscope appear as conjunctions and this makes them easier to see. Of course, these aspects are pretty easy to see in the original horoscope as well, so what's the point? The point is that the minor aspects, the semi-square (45 degrees) and sequa-square (135 degrees), which are difficult to spot by a quick visual inspection, now appear as oppositions, and can be seen at a glance. Not only that, but other minor stress aspects (22 ½ degrees, 67 ½ degrees, 157 ½ degrees), which can take a very long time to locate, now become squares. In the 4th harmonic, whole patterns of stress aspects can be spotted, and this gives you a big edge for interpretation.

The horoscope of Francisco Assis, the Brazilian serial killer who killed at least nine women, doesn't seem, at first, to be excessively violent. But when you look at Francisco's 4th Harmonic Chart, you see another story. The Sun is opposite Venus, which can give feelings of being unloved. Yes, but lots of people have that and they don't become serial killers. What they don't have is Uranus making square aspects in the 4th harmonic to both the Sun and Venus. Uranus can make one prone to sudden, hysterical outbursts. Still, everyone born that day had the same thing. What else is there here to drive him over the edge? The Ascendant also makes stress aspects. It opposes Uranus and squares both the Sun and Venus. This makes a Grand Cross, a rare and highly stressful pattern. The Ascendant is very sensitive to changes in the time of birth. In the 4th harmonic chart, this Grand Cross could only have formed in a time interval of about 20 minutes!

But there's more to come. Mercury (the mind) Mars (violence) and Saturn (depression) make a T-Cross formation (another stressful configuration) in the 4th harmonic as well. Once again though, everyone born that day had the same thing. Why is this case different? Take another look at the birth chart. There is a close semi-square between Mars and the cusp (beginning) of the 8th house (death). Not only that, but Mars rules the sign of Aries, which happens to be the sign on the cusp of the 12th house (psychological problems) as well. This is the classic 8th house-12th house connection frequently found in the charts of serial killers. Where does the 8th house cusp land in the 4th harmonic chart? Opposite Mars, with square aspects to both Mercury and Saturn. It forms another Grand Cross. And this too, could only have been formed in an interval of about 20 minutes. It could take hours to see this in a birth chart. In the 4th harmonic chart, the conclusion leaps out at you.

What happens though, if you have harmonious aspects (sextiles and trines) in a 4th harmonic chart? The best example of that comes from Hamblin's "Harmonic Charts." It is the horoscope of a little known French Marshal from World War I, Franchet d'Esperey. Hamblin claims that sextiles and trines in a 4th harmonic chart show "effort towards pleasure, or pleasure in effort." In other words, someone who likes stress, strain, and struggle. Hamblin quotes Gauquelin's description of him:


"...he drove cars at maniacal speed and shot windows when there was nothing better to shoot."

In d'Esperey's 4th Harmonic Chart, there is a Grand Trine between the Sun, Mars, and Pluto, a perfect aspect pattern for a soldier. A Moon/Venus conjunction sextiles the Sun and Pluto and opposes Mars, making for a Kite formation. Here is someone who had an emotional need (the Moon) for action and violence (Moon/Mars) and got a lot of pleasure from it (Moon/Venus).

Muhammad Ali's 4th Harmonic Chart also has a lot of harmonious aspects, especially to the Mid-Heaven. The Sun makes a sextile and the Moon a conjunction, and both aspects are within one degree of being exact. This means that stress, strain, and struggle are more likely to bring him before the public. The Mid-Heaven also has a trine from Jupiter and a sextile from Uranus. In Ali's Birth Chart, Jupiter rules the 5th house (sports and games) and Uranus rules his 7th house (open enemies), a perfect setup for someone to become famous through competitive sports.

Robert Blake, the actor arrested for his wife's murder, has a 4th Harmonic Chart with a highly stressful T-Cross formation. There is a conjunction of the Moon (feelings, emotions) and Neptune (imagination, film), which helped him in his film career, but it is opposite Pluto (extremes) and all three of these planets make a square to Jupiter (expansion and over optimism). There is hostility towards women here, and when his emotions go, they can really go (Moon, Jupiter, Pluto T-Cross), especially if he happens to be under the influence of alcohol or other intoxicants (Neptune).

As I posted on Harmonics, my fourth harmonic Pluto opposes my Ascendant, my Midheaven, and Chiron; it also trines my Sun/Venus/Mercury conjunction as well as Mars. This cannot be a good thing

Arian Maverick

P.S. I know this is unusual, but I've never experienced any desire or compulsion to pull the hair on my head--only eyebrows, eyelashes, and, when I did not wish to further damage my appearance, the light-colored hairs that grew on my arm.

I seem to have discovered a common theme with my self-injury; I continually go after my arms. I know Gemini rules the hands, but do they rule the arms as well? My natal Mars, which is located in my third house in Gemini, is the apex planet of one of my yods, receiving the inconjuncts energies of my Neptune/Saturn conjunction in my tenth house in Capricorn as well as my eighth house Pluto in Scorpio. This makes sense, as I would often resort to self-injury when the pressures of school (tenth house of "career")ecame too great for me to bear. It was also prompted by a somewhat morbid fascination with the darker side of life (eighth house of "death").

My eighth house Pluto in Scorpio is also the apex of another yod, receiving the inconjunct energies from my first house Sun-Venus-Mercury conjunction in Aries (identity) as well as the third house Mars in Gemini I mentioned before. I wonder what this means?

 

[Kite]

As stupid or nasty or flippent as this sounds, I think you are spending too much time splitting hairs!

Ok the point here is that we act out what we feel and think. The entire chart is related...aspects work together not in a fragmented way. It's not like all we have to do is isolate that one aspect and we can cure whatever problem we are concerned with.

This is the lesson of your yods, your South Node Virgo in 6 and all the aspects that make you into a fireball. The whole is MORE than the sum of its parts. You have to begin to think of yourself as a whole person that is more than all these numbers and symbols put together!

We can actually rise above our charts! Do you believe that? Do you think Jesus or Buddha was limited by the aspects in their charts? No - they were able to transcend their charts by integrating all the polarities and detaching from personal desire.

OK that's my rant for the day..sorry if I offended anyone's fatalistic sensibilities.

Kite

 

[Frisiangal]

Ok the point here is that we act out what we feel and think. The entire chart is related...aspects work together not in a fragmented way

.

How would that fit with a multiple personality disorder, that differs from an obsessive behaviour factor, when there is a definite separation and defragmentation of the psyche?
Due to copyright I can't publish the chart(s) data I have been studying since last Autumn of a person who lives with more than 10 sub-personalities. Each personality, until extensive therapy, was totally unaware of the other's existence. Each planet defined a separate role, completely disassociated from the rest; e.g. the anger, as per Mars, was totally unaware of the existence of Neptune, the follower of the faith.
(My interest was obviously from the point of view of the role of BML in the sub-personality 'birth' charts and the natal chart, and the connections each made with the other. Absolutely fascinating correlations.)

It's not like all we have to do is isolate that one aspect and we can cure whatever problem we are concerned with.

Yet if an aspect of a particular behaviour pattern can be located from the chart and is mentally or emotionally ' curable', wouldn't that be possible by
explaining the nature and meaning of said aspect? Sort of, "Well, if you stop playing with fire, you won't get burnt." :?:

F.

 

[Kite]

Yet if an aspect of a particular behaviour pattern can be located from the chart and is mentally or emotionally ' curable', wouldn't that be possible by
explaining the nature and meaning of said aspect? Sort of, "Well, if you stop playing with fire, you won't get burnt."

If the aspect was blocking the functioning of the overall personality "network", then fixing the block would fix the overall network. If the block is trying to isolate the "network" into isolated pieces and ignoring the rest then that "network" has been rerouted into a dysfunctional system.

The multi-personality disorder is a great example of a dysfunctioning "network". The parts are not consciously aware of each other. Why this is so, I can't say but there must be some kind of malfunction that prevents the system from operating properly. I believe in the muti-dimensional self. I think we all have multiple personalities but most of us have these many selves integrated into the whole personality so they are apparantly seamless.

 

[Arian Maverick]

As stupid or nasty or flippent as this sounds, I think you are spending too much time splitting hairs!

Ok the point here is that we act out what we feel and think. The entire chart is related...aspects work together not in a fragmented way. It's not like all we have to do is isolate that one aspect and we can cure whatever problem we are concerned with.

This is the lesson of your yods, your South Node Virgo in 6 and all the aspects that make you into a fireball. The whole is MORE than the sum of its parts. You have to begin to think of yourself as a whole person that is more than all these numbers and symbols put together!

We can actually rise above our charts! Do you believe that? Do you think Jesus or Buddha was limited by the aspects in their charts? No - they were able to transcend their charts by integrating all the polarities and detaching from personal desire.

OK that's my rant for the day..sorry if I offended anyone's fatalistic sensibilities.

I'm sorry, Kite...as you may have noticed, I am incredibly detail-oriented

Due to my heightened emotional sensitivity, which may be represented (not caused) by my natal moon conjunct my Ascendant as well as Chiron in Cancer conjunct my Nadir, I have developed a kind of adaptation to society by over-utilizing my intellect so I may deal with emotional issues in a detached manner. Years of self-ingrained habits, encouraged by teachers and textbooks and school, have made this my preferred method of expression to the extent where I sometimes feel unable to change my perspective and ways of thinking. It is so simple to let my sixth house Virgo South Node take the reigns and allow myself to settle into old patterns of behavior...it feels comfortable, and my inner Virgo is reluctant to explore uncharted territory for fear of not knowing the answers. I suppose it does not help matters that I have so much Arian energy in my natal chart that I feel a consistant need to prove myself in every endeavor I attempt, and I would rather do nothing perfectly than do something imperfectly. Add to this a stellium of outer planets in Capricorn, including my natal Saturn in the natural sign of its natural house, and I feel an utter loss of identity even thinking about taking an alternative route.

It seems like the pieces of my natal chart are finally coming together in a way I have never quite experienced before...my eighth house Pluto in Scorpio--a singleton in element, modality, house orientation, and sign orientation...my balsamic moon, in the last phases of its cycle, conjunct my Ascendant...my natal Mars and Mercury in mutual reception. I suppose this is exactly the opposite effect Kite intended, but there you go; I have Uranus stationary retrograde in my natal chart and conjunct my Midheaven.

I appologize for rambling yet again. Hopefully, one day I may be able to use my natural orientation with details to further--not impede--my spiritual journey

Arian Maverick

 

[Kite]

I'm not saying the details are bad. I'm saying don't get so bogged down seeing the trees and not seeing the forest. I had the same problem growing up with both my Pluto and Jupiter in Virgo and Uranus in the 6th house. It can be overcome. It takes self-acceptance and realizing everything's perfect already...even the imperfections!

I was in the garment industry in the mid to late 70s. My Dad manufactured junior sportswear. This was when pre-washed denims came out. We hung tags on the garments after they were washed that said "Flaws and imperfections are part of the desired look". That stuck with me to this day and helps me remember that there's a difference between refinement and perfection. You can't refine what's already perfect but you can refine your tastes, your behavior and your self-concept to be more in alighnment with who you want to be.

Kite

 

[Lapis]

Listen to Kite, he knows what he's talking about!

Can't see the forest for the trees.......this reminds me so of our mutual Node signs Arian Maverick. Our North Nodes in Pisces symbolically represents the 'Forest'. Our Soutn Nodes in Virgo symbolically represents the individual 'Trees'. We've got to learn how to travel back and forth between these two forces.....Pisces/Neptune and Virgo/Chiron polarity.

Like you my Virgoness is a big part of 'me' not only because of my South Node there, but because I have Pisces rising! And like you I'm really good at getting totally obsessed with certain 'Trees' and completely forgetting that the 'Forest' even exists! But thankfully my personal 'Forest' is really strong and present and so I can just as happily live and function in the Pisces end of this polarity also.

And like Kite wisely said, the whole point with learning about our natal charts is to integrate these learnings and energies. I remember when I was around 23 or 24 and I took my first astrology class which turned out to be nothing more than learning how to do math!!! :x ....... I asked my Teacher where was THE most important point in my natal chart. After a moment of silence, which was cleverly designed by him to make me think he was searching for it, this extremely wise old 79 year old Astrololger tapped the very center of my chart.......where nothing was! He said, "It's right there in the Center." 8)

Now I'm going to ask you a very important question. Is being a Moderator adding any more stress or tension or anything on you? You understand that we all love that you're so damned good at doing what you do BUT, if that responsibility added in any way to this situation, please don't hesitate saying so or asking for help. We want you here happy and comfortable.......not stressing out or feeling pressured or becoming complusive etc. etc. Remember what C1 said to you about "Play"? She was trying to tell you about this too I think. C1 see's a lot and she always has!

 

[Empath]

Arian Maverick, you have a wonderful abundance of energy in your chart, and you also have an abundance of squares and some oppositions -- these give tension and ballast, provide a horizon and building blocks. The square can have a tendency for repetitive action.

When you feel a little OCD, that's your signal to "think outside of the box" and re-focus your attention.

 

[Arian Maverick]

Thank you for the wondeful replies, everyone!

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is something I have grappled with for a long time; I remember experiencing my first symptoms in grammar school, before I even knew this disorder had specific name. To provide you with the necessary background information needed to understand this scenario, I have inhabited a bedroom adjacent to my parents' for my entire life, and although my bed is now situated away from the thin wall separating the two rooms, this has been the arrangement for the vast majority of my childhood. As young children often do, it was customary for me to sleep facing this wall; knowing that my parents were only a tentative knock away provided me with some degree of psychological comfort, especially since I was reluctant to fall asleep for fear of the dark. I never thought about this particular habit until I decided that I was not comfortable lying on my side one night, for whatever particular reason. Already half-asleep, I was preparing to adjust my position when a sudden, unbidden thought entered my mind—if I did not sleep facing the wall to my parents’ bedroom, something terrible would happen to my family and me. I find it peculiar that I did not that I did not immediately question the reasoning behind this statement dredged forth from the realms of my subconscious, but like an obedient child, I did what I was told. This continued every night for some length of time, until my inner Arian boldly refused to heed the warnings despite the “consequences” of such a decision. I was terrified for myself but mostly for my family, for I truly believed it would be my fault if any harm befell them.

There have been many other minor encounters throughout the years, such as the occasion when my uncle was driving me to school and I accidentally brushed my arm against the door. At that moment, I felt a compulsive need to repeat the sensation on the other side of my body in order to maintain "balance." However, I do not remember having any more difficulties until seventh grade. That year was an all-out OCD fest; I had so many strange rituals that I cannot possibly recall each one! I counted stairs to ensure that my right foot would be always be first on the top landing; I covered my ears during the final note of Andrea Bocelli's "Time to Say Goodbye;" I could not bear to be in the bathroom when the toilet stopped flushing. This is when I first began to take prescription medication, and although I am slowing being weaned off of them now, I have had regular appointments with a psychiatrist ever since.

Although I do not channel my energies into odd rituals as much as I once have, I remain an acute perfectionist who is obsessed with details. In fact, I am copying and pasting this message into Microsoft Word now to check for spelling mistakes...can anyone help me?

Arian Maverick

 

[sam]

Re: Trichotillomania

I was thinking about this today! Creepy...

 

[Arian Maverick]

I was thinking about this today! Creepy...

'

Oh yes...sychronicities like these are quite common on the forums

Arian Maverick

 

[Kite]

Excellent Maverick! You've taken the first step of admitting you have a problem. I'm not sure you've taken the next one though, which is admitting that it has become unmanageable. Once you can do that, the fight-flight tendencies of Aries can calm down and begin to get grounded as you begin to connect with your higher self through surrendering to it's quidance.


Guided meditation might help you accomplish this. I'm sure you can get a CD that would help you calm your fears and release them. Confronting them and allowing them in your consciousness so you can view them as the observer will ultimately dissolve them.

I too was afraid of the dark when I was a child. I had to have a night light or I would freak out. I've also had my share of compulsions which I believe are rushes we create for ourselves to avoid the fears. I personally have dealt with stealing, drugs, sex, work, eating, and other compulsions that all allow one to escape the inner torment of unfaced fears, shame, and assortment of other "stuff" hanging out in our subconscious.

Many of the transits we face in life work to surface these things so we can be rid of them. Again, not through controlling them but by transmuting them in the process described above.

Kite

 

[Arian Maverick]

Excellent Maverick! You've taken the first step of admitting you have a problem. I'm not sure you've taken the next one though, which is admitting that it has become unmanageable. Once you can do that, the fight-flight tendencies of Aries can calm down and begin to get grounded as you begin to connect with your higher self through surrendering to it's quidance.

Despite the overwhelming amount of Aries energy in my natal chart, sometimes I think I may secretly be a Taurus...I can be incredibly stubborn sometimes, especially when my own self-perception and ideas are involved!

Nevertheless, I think I have experienced enough horrors involving acute perfectionism to admit that this behavior can be unmanageable at times.

Guided meditation might help you accomplish this. I'm sure you can get a CD that would help you calm your fears and release them. Confronting them and allowing them in your consciousness so you can view them as the observer will ultimately dissolve them.

Great advice, Kite! I'll see what I can find

Arian Maverick

 

[Elianah]

We can actually rise above our charts! Do you believe that? Do you think Jesus or Buddha was limited by the aspects in their charts? No - they were able to transcend their charts by integrating all the polarities and detaching from personal desire.

A chart with its transits, progressions and harmonics is only one tile of the complete mosaic of a person. A person, through the use of free will, can move beyond the chart, if the person so chooses that route and takes full responsibility for that choice.

Sometimes, however, one needs to focus on the minutia until the person gets tired of it and looks at the bigger picture. It is the weaving of all the aspects of the person together that allows one to transcend what was given at the beginning. Weaving the big picture means looking at the threads that one is using and how they combine together while keeping an eye on the finished tapestry.

The trick is not getting so tangled up in the threads one loses the tapestry. When one gets entangled in the threads, they become all important. Regaining the balance is through recognizing the threads are just that, threads...not the tapestry.

We all get tangled in our threads and at times do not recognize we are not seeing them as threads within the tapestry but as the tapestry. The trick of becoming conscious is seeing when we have made a tangle of threads into our idea of the tapestry rather than the tangle of threads that it is.

Trying to find my tapestry beyond my tangles...

Elianah

 

[Cassie Priam]

Yes you look like you have some past lives where you were quite compulsive.
(Sun aspect to Pluto, in Scorpio for one.)

There are also other aspects that indicate problems with mood/depression.

Your chart is also saying that you MUST take care of yourself in this life. In past lives you misused your body and in this life you must do a better job. You may also have some ancestral issues related to health. Inherited health issues.

That means you should seek appropriate medical consultation, take meds if necessary, watch your stress level, get proper nutrition, exercise, etc.

You have a natal chart with many karmic flags BTW.

You came back in this to work on many things. Just do not try to do it all at once!

 

[Arian Maverick]

I have already suffered much abuse by my own choosing and fear I am powerless to change; perhaps I have simply exhausted my vital Arian energy supply and lack the necessary willpower. Nevertheless, I know I must eventually rebound from this depression and confront it with courage...

Where should I begin?

Arian Maverick

 

[Cassie Priam]

This appears to have been the pattern for many past lives. Time to break the pattern.

First thing is to get some help, do not try to do it all by yourself. Talk to your family, your family physician, a minister, counselor.

Depression is very treatable as are the compulsive disorders. Current research indicates they are caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. Medication can help tremendously. I would start by calling your family doctor. And be honest with him or her about what is going on.

Yes we are meant to face our karma with courage and wisdom. You have a rather amazing natal chart, there is much you want to do in this life. But first you have to get healthy and feel better.

Ask your spirit guide to help you, she will give you strength.

Take one day at a time. But move forward. Do not stay stuck. I am saying a prayer for you now.

 

[Arian Maverick]

First thing is to get some help, do not try to do it all by yourself. Talk to your family, your family physician, a minister, counselor.

Depression is very treatable as are the compulsive disorders. Current research indicates they are caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. Medication can help tremendously. I would start by calling your family doctor. And be honest with him or her about what is going on.

Actually, I have been on medication for nearly five years now with limited success; the names and the dosages have changed, yet it seems the worst periods of my life generate negative behavior irregardless of whatever medication I may be prescribed at the time.

There is no need to worry about me now, for others have been through much worse

Arian Maverick