Never had a more intense relationship that consumed me, what's going on?


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But somehow, it has shifted me in a way and my thinking, even towards life. I feel like I was so ungrateful here in wanting a certain kind of person to like me or a certain kind of experience when life is so abundant outside of that. There were good people who although had less power over me, I could have benefitted paying more attention to.

Oddly enough, it gets me how I almost used to be obsessed with women of her type when there were many women who wanted me that were not of that type. I used to wonder why they are so nice to men of certain cultures and hostile towards men of others. It made me really wonder and probably more than I should have.

Then it just so happens this situation for the past year hits me.

Pretty soon, I am going to not have to talk to his lady again but just the lessons though, the lessons. So many to be learned and at times, I do not even know when to start. This when I head into my Saturn return which has kind of already started.

That NN conjunct Sun must have had some serious meaning to it now. I know nothing good comes from me working with her, she has treated me like total garbage, but I was meant to learn a lesson from this.


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I have changed my daily habits now too. Recently, due to my fortune of living in a big city and seeing it reopen, I started making small talk with women I find beautiful more. It has been going okay, I make small talk and then I walk away as I go for my lunch break walks.

I have started to invest more into dating apps and am getting a lot of dates that I focus more on now.

As tough as it is to break free from this lady, and she makes it extra tough whenever I try to, I am way far ahead than I was months ago. I can remember two months ago scared of the thought of it ending but now, I have accepted it and am ready to move on.

I've been treated very poorly by her on a professional level and never been so undermined, ******* over, disrespected, or ridiculed really at any other point. Still, I am standing and here I am.

Perhaps one of the lessons was gratitude and abundance in life, appreciate those so you no longer become reliant on people.

I never appreciated the many beautiful lovely women in the world and in my life and the positive energy all around me until I slowly came to the epiphanies I have.


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Zora has gone overtime on this so for anyone who wants to comment on how I am affecting her with my placements, open to hearing that side of it.


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So the Venus square Pluto transit hit and I survived. I do notice myself still getting jealous when she gives more attention to guys who are not her boss, husband, or leaders. Still though, things have been relatively positive between us but I see myself giving less and less.

I thought about my north node being conjunct her Sun and then it came to me. Maybe some people who come into our lives are not the good positive mentors but rather bad people who are meant to teach us a lesson. For almost a year now, this woman has abused me at every turn, thrown me under the bus, been extremely cold towards me, robbed me of career advancement chances, and given me little to no help or acknowledgement of success I have had (which carries well for a promotion when someone who oversees your work vouches for you).

If anything though, it exposed my Leo need for validation and how this woman almost knew that was my weak spot and exploited it. I do think that the company's system is unfair rigged in her favor which would have made it foolish to stop working with her.

But over the past few months, I feel as if I grew. I no longer needed that validation from such a wicked individual who probably has her prejudice towards me. It's like I came out at the end of this North Node contact and Plutonic relationship saying that you can rob me of everything and play these sick mind games, drag my name through the mud, and do it all....but you cannot hurt me.

Try as you will, try as you may, try it all. You are not gonna hurt me because in the end, I can control my feelings now. Here is another view of the synastry chart for those interested: