Natal chart and my disorders

[SuiGeneres]

Hello everybody.


I am new to this forum and I hope it's ok that this is my first post.
I took some astrology classes myself and someone asked about disorders in natal charts and wheather one can spot disorders in a natal chart.


My teacher answered that it's something you'd usually won't tell your client.
You can't quite 100% spot a disorder and claim:
"Yeah. These aspects...totally means this-and-that disorders!".


Won't work. There is nothing that will always hint at a certain disorder in natal charts. It's not like there is a pattern that will mean that in every natal chart.


BUT she said that if a disorder is diagnosed then you can look at the chart and you will mostly likely see it and where it stems from.
Thing is: A good astrologer would never claim that the client is prone to certain disorders but if a client likes to talk about his life and actually is the one who will talk about it and if it really is a psychologically diagnosed disorder THEN the astrologer can tell you where in the chart it manifests and can maybe even give *possible* solutions.


(It's all about possibilities. I know: Everyone is responsible for herself/himself. Yes.)


So I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and no it's not like I try to victimize and excuse myself but I'm glad that certain difficulties in life finally have a name and yes I embrace it because it belongs "to me" and I enjoy discovering and exploring myself and my feelings and I am NOT afraid to talk about it.


I have longer depressive episodes since I'm a child and what I'll do in these episodes is basically isolating myself and avoiding social situations.

I hide myself behind the PC screen and I am overeating.
I tend to have low self-esteem during those episodes and I personally suffer from overeating and constant weight gain in these times but I am not overweight or big by any means.
I'm a girl with a normal weight and "some curves" (and skinny fat). I am just not athletic or muscular because I really dislike sports...however I feel incredibly fat and unattractive during these times because I am not super skinny.


I'm a vegan (And yes, I am exactly the kind of vegan activist you won't like^^ ) and I know a lot about healthy food and I own a nutritian degree because food means a lot to me. And I really like healthy food.


But there are times when I am deliberately picking the most unhealthy items (albeit vegan but still sugary and fat processed food) for the sake of it and I tend to overeat.


However...there are times when I go crazy and just decide that I have gotten "too big" and I am eating very very healthy and raw vegan.
Not even wheat or rice and not even sugar or salt.


And then there are times when I am fasting as in detox juice fasting and I am doing that for four weeks minimum.
Most of the times six weeks. Yes, you've heard me: Drinking nothing but juices for six weeks. I sometimes even forget the juices and then i drink nothing but water and teas.


I already did it for eight weeks. No solid food for eight weeks in a row without any cheating. Needless to say I am getting skinny fast.


I already was quite underweight one time and I still felt way too fat then.

It gave other people some anorexic-y vibes.


However one day I just thought: Yeah, ***** it, I will just eat what I like.
(always vegan but still...)


And I ballooned back. I am constantly shifting between overeating and starving myself with sometimes some "healthy food meals" times in between.


But the food thing shouldn't be the main focus, sry.


I have terrible moodswings. Sometimes I avoid people and sometime I can be VERY social and talkactive.



I'm an extrovert but sometimes I'm just bitter and cynical about people.


Sometimes I don't really want intimacy because I feel too ugly/"fat" and sometimes I am crazy about sex (Don't want to get too personal but I enjoy things that are "out of the norm" or viewed as "extreme" by some people).


I never was a person to do drugs simply because I grew up in a "sheltered home" and because I was more of the "nerd" with few to no friends.


I am 30 now and I just recently experimented with something like two times. No big deal.
To be honest I enjoyed it quite a lot and when I am completely honest with myself I know that I should take care because things might go out of hand.


I somehow know that I am the person who tends to take "too much" of a thing if I really like it.


Didn't even mention a few other problems for example how I am not too good with money.



Sooo...basically: While I was reflecting myself and my behaviour...know what immediatly came to my mind?


Jupiter in Taurus (second house, also my sun sign^^) and the opposition to Pluto in Scorpio (8th house).



To me that's basically my bipolar and my problem with controlling thing.


The problem with my lust/greed/hunger for things (not only food. Also sex, drugs, money, fame, destruction...) and not being able to curb my cravings and to set limits.
Also my faszination with everything self-destructive, taboo and dark.



Maybe my Moon in Pisces also plays a part in here. Not to sure about that.


What are your thoughts?




Thank you very much.

 

[EsmerSilver]

Squares from PLUTO and JUPITER could explain your drastic weight fluctuations.
With taurus as your sign sign, you are concerned about food.
Aquarius is your ascendent and Uranus is at 0*, retrograde turning your alturism to yourself.
Your moon is Square Mercury which shows us that you like to voice up for what you believe in, thus your activism.
Pluto opp your sun tells us that you are involved in plutonic activities.
Moon Trine Pluto explains your interest in the macabre and psychology.
Moon Sq. Mercury tells us that you tend to overthink and be critical of yourself. Sun Sq. Mars points to Mania. Also Neptune is in Retrograde. All this could explain your bipolar disorder.

 

[Lin]

When you were in grade school did you fall behind your fellow students,...and did your teachers discuss this with your parent/parents?

You'll notice a lack of positive Mercury aspects. This is symbolic of a child who doesn't communicate easily, usually because communication in the home is lacking.

In other words i'm asking about your symptoms as a child.
LIN

 

[Kite]

I've suffered from a similar diagnosis. You and I both have Mercury Out-of-Bounds which means it's beyond the elliptical path of the Sun. This gives the planet an "unleashed" quality - in the case of Mercury, unconventional out of the box kind of thinking - Einstein had this. In addition you also have Venus and Uranus OOB. Venus OOB would account for your cravings and issues with self-image (also with Uranus ruling your ascendant - similar). Venus is way out-of-bounds and is also conjunct Chiron - both in Gemini which has the mutable, twin nature you'd think would be associated with a disorder such as this but like anything with Chiron - the cure is within the wound. In other words - see your struggle here as a soul chosen - soul making crusade for itself to become deeper and richer in its knowing/realizing of itself. Your pre-natal lunation gives a sense of what the soul wants in this life - yours is at 27 Aries https://sabiansymbols.com/through-imagination-a-lost-opportunity-is-regained-the-sun-on-aries-27/

 

[Jac3]

I wish I had your chart, mine is 10x worse

 

[ashriia]

I read your post, and what jumped out at me ---ruler of your sun - venus conjunct chiron. Problems with self esteem/self worth.

Mercury conjunct your IC in a quincunx with neptune --ruler of your pisces moon. To me is more indicative of bipolar disorder, then anything else in the chart. Also you have lilith at a critical degree 29, opposite your pisces moon. I've seen many charts of people who suffer from depression or anxiety with lilith square their moon or opposite the moon.

Also if you have trouble managing your money when your manic, look into working with a financial adviser that could help you stay organized and help you not to blow through all your money.

Just curious, do you have other family members with bipolar as well?

 

[Lin]

This gal posted in July and has not returned. There is a lot of information in her chart but it is useless work unless she is going to read it and participate. In other words, did she just want to VENT or does she want to learn something about herself?
She needs to come back and let us know if she is sincere.
LIN

 

[ashriia]

didn't notice post was resurrected.

First reply didn't come until 7 days after her post, so maybe she thought no one would reply, and hit the road. Or was a passing venter, as you mentioned.