My Solar Return chart – is this the year?

HeartTree

Well-known member
Hi,

Can someone take a look and tell if they see relationship and childbirth from my Solar return chart? Second chart is with natal + progressions + Solar arc.

I’m 39 years in two days and becoming more and more worried it won’t happen to me. To have a family of my own is so important to me. Unfortunately I was traumatised during my childhood and youth and coping with fears of intimacy a lot. I have been in therapy etc. and there is progress but nothing seem to work to this core issue. Can someone help?
 

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wilsontc

Staff member
Heart,

You have Neptune (spirituality, also confusion, fantasy, deception) on your IC (inner world). This indicates you may have been deceived by your family life and/or you may be confused about the nature of your family life. It also suggests you may create an elaborate fantasy about what you THINK having a family will do for you. You may tend to idealize the family way beyond what an actual family is. Also in your chart, this Neptune/inner world energy opposes your North node (future goals) on your Midheaven (outer world). Your fantasies about your inner world and your ideal family hold you back from your life goal of going out into the world and getting things done. Gemini (thinking, also talking, writing) modifies the North node so part of your goal is to think about and talk about the outer world to others, perhaps to do some writing about it. In addition your chart has most of the planets on the left (self) side of the chart so you naturally focus on yourself.

You may or may not have a relationship but what you need to do to develop in your life is to put away the fantasy of an ideal home life, get out in the world, and start using your ability to talk to others in the outer world and share what it is you think and find out more about what others think.

Thinking,

Tim
 

HeartTree

Well-known member
Thank you for giving your time Tim :) I have never had a family life in addition to childhood. But I think I have a perfectly normal desire to have my own family. I have no fantasies about what family life would be or do for me. But it's true that the sadness of missing a relationship and family has made me almost stop making art. That's how depression works. I just want an ordinary life.

I think Neptune/IC is more about my father's schizophrenia..and about the family breaking up because of it. I have already learned as a child that there is no ideal family. There is only the pain of losing everything safe. Pain when you have to build your life alone. Pain because attachment trauma prevents finding someone who responds to love you try to give.

I've already talked about these things in public quite a bit. As I have dealt with childhood traumas through art. It sounds depressing that I shouldn't wish for something as ordinary as my own family for myself. A relationship brings so much good to a person's life..still I hear from everyone that I should not hope that.. as if it were forbidden to me.
 
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LostNOzarks

Well-known member
Heart,

You have Neptune (spirituality, also confusion, fantasy, deception) on your IC (inner world). This indicates you may have been deceived by your family life and/or you may be confused about the nature of your family life. It also suggests you may create an elaborate fantasy about what you THINK having a family will do for you. You may tend to idealize the family way beyond what an actual family is. Also in your chart, this Neptune/inner world energy opposes your North node (future goals) on your Midheaven (outer world). Your fantasies about your inner world and your ideal family hold you back from your life goal of going out into the world and getting things done. Gemini (thinking, also talking, writing) modifies the North node so part of your goal is to think about and talk about the outer world to others, perhaps to do some writing about it. In addition your chart has most of the planets on the left (self) side of the chart so you naturally focus on yourself.

You may or may not have a relationship but what you need to do to develop in your life is to put away the fantasy of an ideal home life, get out in the world, and start using your ability to talk to others in the outer world and share what it is you think and find out more about what others think.

Thinking,

Tim
Very nice.
 

wilsontc

Staff member
Heart,

A relationship IS a nice thing to have, however it depends on ANOTHER person taking an interest in YOU. That's something you CAN'T control. Be on the look out for relationship opportunities and take advantage of them when they happen, of course, but focusing on something you may NOT get will simply make you unhappy. It's good you are talking about these things in public. Do that MORE, since that IS your life goal. The MORE you get out in public and talk about who you are and your life-lived experiences the MORE opportunities there are for someone to recognize a "fellow traveler" and MAYBE fall in love with you. And THAT'S where relationships start.

About Your Life Goal,

Tim
 

HeartTree

Well-known member
I don’t feel that’s my life goal. I feel it is to consentrate to do my own stuff and art and NOT to be so wrapped up in helping others (like talking in public) that my own well-being is forgotten. That’s my real challenge in life: I help way too much and I don’t focus on myself. And I’m definitely in the process of learning to get rid of it. Just last week I was asked to speak at a seminar and I agreed even though I'm really exhausted as I have also full work weeks. Luckily it was canceled for other reasons. So I’m going to do it less.

I'm an adult, I've lived my life forward. There is no reason to assume that all the challenges of the Birthchart are still unsolved and nothing has moved forward. A person does learn one thing and another during her/his lifetime.

I wonder where does that resistance and harsh attitude come from when someone opens up and dares to be vulnerable and admit that they have needs related to the most sensitive things in life. Seems that it really annoys people.

I'm not here to hear that being in a relationship is difficult and it doesn't make life happy. Or to be happy for yourself first. Who claimed that I assume a relationship will solve e.g. all problems? Me and others who long for a relationship constantly have to hear of those parrot-like generalizations that insult the intelligence. I have the same right to hope and seek happiness for myself as anyone else. Anyone has no right to say it doesn't belong to me or to focus on something else.

I asked help with my Solar return chart. Besides that, I'm interested in hearing how I can find arelationship in my life in a balanced way.
 

wilsontc

Staff member
Heart,

As mentioned, your Neptune fantasy/artistry OPPOSES your North node, so you NATURALLY focus on fantasy/artistry. However, you will discover by focusing MORE on the outer world where your North node IS that you discover more satisfaction with life as you move to what you REALLY want. But if you want to focus on your inner world at the expense of the outer that is YOUR choice to make.

About Choices,

Tim
 

HeartTree

Well-known member
If I think about it honestly, my natural focus has always been on my career = MC. And my career is art. My birth chart supports that choice. Fantasy and art are not something that I try to get rid of or something that a see as a weakness of mine. Believe me I have strongly focused on my MC things and that life has made me unhappy and exhausted. No particular extra satisfaction there, it’s only work, and that’s only part what I want to do in my life. Rather, I have a very strong feeling that doing things for others has prevented me from living my own true purpose, i.e. focusing on myself (well-being) and my own art. Fortunately through therapy I have understood that such a lifestyle should not be kept up. Career and family are not mutually exclusive things. Now I want to focus more on myself and what I do. And having a family of my own.

Can someone comment my Solar return chart kindly? If chart is too small of size etc. please let me know.
 
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HeartTree

Well-known member
The MORE you get out in public and talk about who you are and your life-lived experiences the MORE opportunities there are for someone to recognize a "fellow traveler" and MAYBE fall in love with you. And THAT'S where relationships start.
Unfortunately it’s not when you have attachment trauma. Then you keep misrecognizing your potential partners all the time. And being rejected constantly in my case. And rejecting safe partner candidates because they subconsciously feels threatening and dangerous. There is no this kind of cookie-cutter solution.

In my opinion, different behavior patterns and attachment traumas should be recognized more in astrology. For example, for me, I think Neptune's & retrograde Virgo Venus influence causes this. And that doesn't make it a karmic thing that can't be influenced in any way. It does not mean that situation cannot be healed and improved. Such fatalistic approach only makes people desperate.

I listened a lecture of evolutional astrology where it was said that it is difficult to get rid of behavioral patterns. The daughter of an alcoholic may go to therapy but then end up with a drug addict. This was called karma. In my experience it’s really about not being able to influence the non-linguistic side, where traumas affect, with cognitive speech therapy. Schema therapy affects exactly there and helped me more in the first six months than 3 years of cognitive therapy. It’s like a miracle when self-understanding grows and empathy and understanding also towards others. Pluto is going through my 4th house, so obviously, these things (childhood/family trauma) are being cleaned up now.

My purpose here was to ask what opportunities next year offers. Because the seventh house is full of planets. And will the progressions support that I would meet someone. Because I'm already 39 and it's the last moments to have a child with another person. Before I’m forced to go to fertility treatments alone. This is already heavy enough without someone telling you to focus on your career/outer world.
 
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