So sorry for your loss.
The chart you linked to doesn't include the houses of your solar return chart. That would be crucial information. Which houses of the solar return chart have significant placements in them says a lot about what's going on for you this year.
I've seen another solar return chart recently in which the native's father had died a few months before their birthday. That chart had Pluto right on the AC. Pluto is not on their natal AC, and was not during their solar return, but being on the solar return AC suggests Plutonian issues, which could include things like death and inheritance, being front and center right now.
I see Pluto is currently transiting your natal IC. Death of a parent is, I've heard, one possible way for that transit to play out, although it's certainly not the only way or the only transit that could be involved. Most of us lose parents during our lifetimes, and not everyone ever has Pluto transit their IC.
If you're going away to college, I would expect to see some activity in your natal and/or solar return fourth house (change of residence) and/or the ninth (higher education). If you will be in another location by the time you have your birthday, don't forget to cast your solar return chart for where you expect to be then. The solar return chart house placements are determined by where you are when you have your solar return. If you cast it for where you live now, you'll get an inaccurate chart unless you're going to be living at home while in college.
What your SR chart won't show is your level of happiness (or lack thereof). It shows in a very general way what kinds of things are up for you right now, but it doesn't show what your emotional response is. When you've just experienced a significant death, it's normal to be grieving, and it's normal to experience something like depression during the grieving process.
If you feel that you're "never any good" at pursuing your dreams, college is not going to change that in and of itself. If you're going to college next semester, you've obviously already applied, gotten in, and chosen a college. How did you do that if you're no good at pursuing your dreams? Were you really pursuing your dreams? Or were you just doing what was expected of you?
If you're only going to college because it's expected, you'll probably have the experience of just doing what's expected of you. That's not the same thing as pursuing your dreams. That doesn't necessarily mean you won't find dreams to pursue once you're there, but college may or may not be the way to pursue them.
As someone who's been to college, starting right after high school, I can tell you it's not always an exciting and liberating time. It can be, but it's also a time of insecurity. Whatever issues you've had all along are still present, and you have to deal with the insecurity of navigating a new environment and new expectations. If you go away to college, there's also being away from home, uprooted, dealing with roommates... which can be exciting and liberating, but also feels less secure. Seems to me that everyone is more or less insecure from the age of 18 until their early/mid twenties, because there's so much to work out during that time.
