Meant to be alone?

[laurenvty]

Hello, everyone!

I have been thinking a lot about this lately and have decided to post this on here. Don't know if this is even the right forum, but I believe this might be the most appropriate one...?
So, I've never been in a relationship (romantic) and that's not my primary focus (at least right now), but a friend of mine has brought some placements and aspects in my chart to my attention and... I don't know what to really think? My friend jokingly said, that I am meant to be forever alone, but I... it kind of makes sense? I'm not opposed to the idea, quite the opposite - I'm really scared to be IN a relationship, the thought kind of repulses me? Don't get me wrong, I feel attraction to some people, but the thought of actually being close to someone just feels... weird?

So, the aspects that supposedly mean I'll be alone forever are:

• An empty 7th house.

I know that's not really that big of an indicator, because a lot of people in happy relationships have an empty 7th house. But this just proves that the 7th house is not as active in my chart and is not my main focus in life.

• 7th house in Capricorn - so the ruler is Saturn.

This might mean a lot of things. That I will have relationships later in life, with partners older than me or that are Saturnian like etc. But generally Saturn delays things, so... It also can mean, that I take relationships very seriously. With that I can agree, as, if I would consider a relationship, I would expect it to be a serious, long-term one. You know, for a lifetime, not just a fling or something that is not serious. I would want stability in the relationship.

• 7th house ruler and Venus (also the ruler of the 5th house) in the 12th house.

These placements are pretty similar, so I will just comment on both of them at the same time.
This can mean a lot of things and I mean A LOT. That my partner needs to be Neptunian (whether it be Neptunian by nature or have planets in Pisces)- with that I don't think I agree with, especially the Pisces placements. The people that have shown an interest in me actually have all had either Virgo or Aries (or both) placements. Not even Capricorn (you know, my Descendant sign) or Cancer (sign of the 5th & 7th house rulers - even though I just don't really click with them). And I just don't get along with Pisces that well. And about the Neptunian nature, if I were to have a relationship, a Saturnian person seems more suitable to me and what I want than a Neptunian person. So, I don't know about that one.
It could mean, that I fall in love with unavailable people. Well.... Ain't that the truth... I actually never really noticed that before, but almost everyone I have had a crush on was in a relationship at that time. It will probably sound strange, but, when I find out that they are in a relationship, it almost comes as a relief. You know, because I can officially move on.
It could mean I attract outcasts or people who need help. Well - again true. I had a lot of people who are considered outcasts come to me, say some things I don't agree with (so if there ever was an attraction to begin with, it disappears), ask me if I am single and try to flirt with me. I know that I could enter a relationship and they might change their mindset, but that's not what I'm about. I just personally can't go into a relationship expecting a person to change. It doesn't sit right with me.
Could mean that I will have "secret-affairs" and/or keep my relationships private. Strongly agree with the 'keeping my relationships private' part, but secret affairs - it's something that I don't agree with (affairs in general), so feel pretty confident to say, that I won't take part in them.
There are some more meanings, but one that stuck out to me is - life in a monastery. It's funny, that I have actually entertained the idea before, but, after looking into it, I am not sure it's worth it.

• Venus conjunct Saturn.

Again, Saturn delays, so - one interpretation is a delayed love. Another interpretation - forever alone.
A feeling, that I have never been in love and never will? Uhmm... I don't think that I need to attest to that... You'll probably say I have high standards, even too high. Maybe, but I don't want to settle for less, especially because I would like for the relationship to be long-lasting. If I never meet that person, that's fine too - I'll just be alone forever. You know, I don't want a relationship just for the sake of a relationship.
Sticking with a partner through thick and thin - have never been in a romantic relationship, so can't be 100% sure, but I would like to think, that, if I ever get married, I'll do everything to keep the marriage alive and well. Of course, can't speak for every instance, but, if there's a problem we both can fix, why not at least try?

• Chiron in the 7th house closely conjunct the Descendant.

Attracting people that are wounded, that need help and heal them? Again - never been in a romantic relationship, but I can speak for other types of relationships, like friendships, professional relationships.
People always come to me, confide in me and ask for help. If I can help them, I happily do that asking nothing in return (not that anyone has ever offered me anything). But, I'm not going to lie - it's super draining. And if I can't help them, they get mad at me. It's like they view me as a Genie, that can just make all their wishes come true and if I can't, then I am a bad human being. It's not fair. Also, they won't talk to me unless they need help. So, I'm just invisible a lot of the time, which is fun. I have learned to get on my own, so it's not that bad. But, to be honest, sometimes it's hard to handle all of this, so I don't really look forward to a romantic relationship, if that's what is awaiting me in it as well.

• 5th & 7th house rulers trine Uranus.

I mean... Uranus... Changes, instability... Aspecting the rulers of the 5th & 7th house... Don't know what to add.


Maybe I missed something, but these are the aspects and placements my friend pointed out. Can anyone chime in on this? Maybe add another placement or comment on the above listed ones. Maybe someone has some experience with something and they would like to share it.
Feel free to comment on this.

 

[NuKetuLiving]

Hello Laurenvtv,
Are you aromantic?
Are you over 40?
I think romantic preferences should be acknowledged within the chart as well. Anyway, with all of the Saturnian energy happening, yes usually Saturn reminds us to assess our core values, time management, and essentially what matters to us. However Saturn does not deny, just delays. Popular interpretation is that he will release this tight grip as you mature and refine the matters within the house he dwells (for you it is the 12H).

 

[laurenvty]

Hello NuKetuLiving!
To answer your questions - no, I'm not over 40. In fact, I'm not even over 30. And no, even though a lot of people would disagree, I wouldn't really consider myself aromantic.
It's interesting that you think that you can see romantic preferences in the birth chart. I know a lot of people would disagree. Could you elaborate a little bit on that? What would be the indicators?
About Saturn - yes, it plays a pretty big role in my chart, has a lot of aspects as well. But about the delaying, not denying - am not sure about that. I think that it would depend on the chart. In my case, I have a lot of things going on in my chart, that are against me (in that aspect), but as I said, it's nothing horrible - not the end of the World. But, to be sure, we just kind of have to wait and see, how everything plays out. Will take a long time, though.
Just find it interesting, how aspects in a person's chart play out in real life, because everyone's different. But also, maybe someone with a similar chart to mine will look at what I wrote and say, that it resonates with them - or maybe the opposite. Don't know. Maybe there is actually someone in the forum with a chart similar to mine, who could comment on this?

 

[NuKetuLiving]

Hello NuKetuLiving!
To answer your questions - no, I'm not over 40. In fact, I'm not even over 30. And no, even though a lot of people would disagree, I wouldn't really consider myself aromantic.
It's interesting that you think that you can see romantic preferences in the birth chart. I know a lot of people would disagree. Could you elaborate a little bit on that? What would be the indicators?
About Saturn - yes, it plays a pretty big role in my chart, has a lot of aspects as well. But about the delaying, not denying - am not sure about that. I think that it would depend on the chart. In my case, I have a lot of things going on in my chart, that are against me (in that aspect), but as I said, it's nothing horrible - not the end of the World. But, to be sure, we just kind of have to wait and see, how everything plays out. Will take a long time, though.
Just find it interesting, how aspects in a person's chart play out in real life, because everyone's different. But also, maybe someone with a similar chart to mine will look at what I wrote and say, that it resonates with them - or maybe the opposite. Don't know. Maybe there is actually someone in the forum with a chart similar to mine, who could comment on this?

Hi again,
Thanks for answering my questions.
I do not mean that one can see romantic preference, but that it should be acknowledged. I.e.; if someone were aromantic, that should be taken into consideration when dissecting matters of love within the chart.
interestingly enough, I have quite a bit of harsh Saturn aspects, i.e. squares to my personal planets and I have thought the same things you have too, however I've learned to work alongside Saturn and change my perspective on it. Also I am under 30 so I choose to not fret over something that I really wont be able to see the fruits of until 40 anyway. Most astrologers can testify to Saturn delaying certain matters until we reach maturity which is around 37-40. I understand your frustration on the matters of love and hearing that perhaps Saturn doesn't want you to be in a committed relationship.

What I find even more interesting is that you have a lot of trines within your chart, I am not saying this to dismiss your feelings, but moreso to bring a breath of hope into your relationship with your cosmic dna, as trines are "easy, sometimes seen as innate energy that one doesn't even have to think about exerting"

 

[laurenvty]

Hi again,
Thanks for answering my questions.
I do not mean that one can see romantic preference, but that it should be acknowledged. I.e.; if someone were aromantic, that should be taken into consideration when dissecting matters of love within the chart.
interestingly enough, I have quite a bit of harsh Saturn aspects, i.e. squares to my personal planets and I have thought the same things you have too, however I've learned to work alongside Saturn and change my perspective on it. Also I am under 30 so I choose to not fret over something that I really wont be able to see the fruits of until 40 anyway. Most astrologers can testify to Saturn delaying certain matters until we reach maturity which is around 37-40. I understand your frustration on the matters of love and hearing that perhaps Saturn doesn't want you to be in a committed relationship.

What I find even more interesting is that you have a lot of trines within your chart, I am not saying this to dismiss your feelings, but moreso to bring a breath of hope into your relationship with your cosmic dna, as trines are "easy, sometimes seen as innate energy that one doesn't even have to think about exerting"

Oh, okay - got it! That's why I wanted you to explain what you meant about the romantic preference, because I always interpret things the wrong way, but thanks for the clarification!
Because I've never dated, people always assume that something's going on - I'm either aromantic, asexual or homosexual, but in the closet, you know, when in fact it's just not my priority. But I'm not going to lie, the endless questions from friends and relatives about when am I going to have a relationship and then settle down (and then have kids etc., etc....) have become super annoying. It's like nothing else exists and you have to be in a relationship to be happy. Ok, maybe if I stay single forever, I'll forget my choice later down the line, when there's no one to talk to and I'll be very lonely, but maybe everything will turn out fine. Actually, I find it kind of funny, that you interpreted my posts as a frustration, that my love life is doomed, because I don't really feel that way. Relationships are not normally on my mind, unless there is a person I have a crush on or a person is interested in me (to be honest, both cases do not happen very often), people are asking me questions about relationships and now that my friend got a little bit concerned about the lack of love in my life, so looked at my chart and pointed out some things that just kind of made sense and I wanted to post about it. So, even though I'm completely fine without a relationship, I'm not saying, that I don't want it. If the right person comes along, I think I would enjoy a relationship too.
About trines - yes I have a few of them. If you allow the orbs to be a bit wider, I even have an out of sign grand trine! And it also has both the 5th & 7th house rulers in it. So, life in general should be easier for me. Even though I wouldn't completely agree, I may be a bit biased because I have that configuration.

 

[Zora]

Hi -
gender is cut off in your chart - but is important to know for an accurate interpretation.

This might mean a lot of things. That I will have relationships later in life, with partners older than me or that are Saturnian like etc. But generally Saturn delays things, so... It also can mean, that I take relationships very seriously. With that I can agree, as, if I would consider a relationship, I would expect it to be a serious, long-term one. You know, for a lifetime, not just a fling or something that is not serious. I would want stability in the relationship.

No - saturn doesn't always. I've saturn ruling my 7th and my 8th house and since I was 16 years old -with the exception of one year - I've never been without a relationship - married the second time after 17 years and in total for 40 years now. First husband older than me - 2nd husband younger than me.

But it depends on where saturn is natally placed. Mine is in fix sign scorpio in 5th house. Yours is in cardinal sign cancer and in a far distance 12th house.

 

[geminimercury]

@Zora

May I ask, what house is your Saturn in and what sign is your Saturn?

 

[Zora]

@Zora

May I ask, what house is your Saturn in and what sign is your Saturn?

As I already told before Capricorn is in 7th house - relationship and in my 8th house. long term relationship and marriage. Saturn ruling 7th and 8th house is in fix sign Scorpio in my 5th house.

 

[Zora]

May I ask, what house is your Saturn in and what sign is your Saturn?

May I ask you whether you are male or female ?

It is different for a woman if saturn is in 5th house.

 

[laurenvty]

Hi -
gender is cut off in your chart - but is important to know for an accurate interpretation.

Hello, Zora! Thank you for participating in this thread!
To answer your question - I am female.

No - saturn doesn't always. I've saturn ruling my 7th and my 8th house and since I was 16 years old -with the exception of one year - I've never been without a relationship - married the second time after 17 years and in total for 40 years now. First husband older than me - 2nd husband younger than me.

See, this is what I meant, when I said that everyone is different. That is why I said that Saturn generally delays things, it's not always the case, but a lot of people interpret it in this sense.

I'm happy to hear that Saturn doesn't play out for you this way! But what I found interesting is that you said, that your first husband was older than you and the second younger. That is actually not that uncommon for someone with Saturn ruling the 7th house, that is, when young - attracting older partners and when older - attracting younger partners.

But it depends on where saturn is natally placed. Mine is in fix sign scorpio in 5th house. Yours is in cardinal sign cancer and in a far distance 12th house.

Yes, agree. You have quite a romantic combination - 7th house ruler in the 5th house. Maybe this might be one of the reasons you have never been without a relationship. What are your interpretations?

 

[Zora]

Yes, agree. You have quite a romantic combination - 7th house ruler in the 5th house. Maybe this might be one of the reasons you have never been without a relationship. What are your interpretations

To be honest -I really don't know- it always happened without any effort from my part. I just attracted men. And even if it sounds "high nosed" -I often more had the contrary problem - to get rid of them.

 

[Zora]

the second younger.

Yes....May be I had the subconsciously working thought in me -that older men die more early - and to have more time in 2nd marriage with a 4 years younger man and husband.

 

[laurenvty]

To be honest -I really don't know- it always happened without any effort from my part. I just attracted men. And even if it sounds "high nosed" -I often more had the contrary problem - to get rid of them.

See! To be honest, you don't really sound "high nosed" - a problem getting rid of potential partners sounds a lot like a problem that this placement (7th house ruler in 5th) would have to deal with. May not always be the case, but this might be one of the ways how it plays out for you.

 

[laurenvty]

Yes....May be I had the subconsciously working thought in me -that older men die more early - and to have more time in 2nd marriage with a 4 years younger man and husband.

Maybe that is why, but I honestly don't know. I just have seen quite a few people who have Saturn ruling the 7th house in this situation. Anyone else has this placement (or knows someone, who has this placement), who can chime in?

 

[avenged14]

If you're not over 40,judging by the sign placement of Saturn,you are probably in your late teens ...so you have plenty of time.It's not an issue as of now.

 

[laurenvty]

If you're not over 40,judging by the sign placement of Saturn,you are probably in your late teens ...so you have plenty of time.It's not an issue as of now.

Hi, avenged14!

Yes, I know that I'm still young and have plenty of time. But I believe that anyone, who believes in marriage would like their married life to be happy (I don't really want to marry more than once, if at all). And if that won't be the case for me, especially when I'm younger, because Saturn plays a big part in this area of my life and Chiron is right there too, so don't know about love later in life as well, maybe I'm better off alone. It's already not a big part of my life, since I'm pretty focused on my career and education, but if I know, that there aren't many things going in my favor in the love department and my chances on a happy love are slim, I'll just know to not pay any attention to it at all - to save any heartbreaks. I hope that everything makes sense, but if not, let me know - I'll try to explain it better.

 

[geminimercury]

OP, I have a 1 degree Scorpio Pluto here, so I'm ALOT older than you. I'm married, long term married too. btw, I'm Cancer Asc like you.

You have a 17 degree SAGGITARIUS Pluto generation, your still YOUNG. Listen to what Mrs. Zora said. She has Saturn in 5th and she always has relationships and married (twice even!). So relax OP, it is okay, your still young, take your time.

 

[geminimercury]

May I ask you whether you are male or female ?

It is different for a woman if saturn is in 5th house.

Can you explain to me so I can understand what the difference if Saturn in 5th for different gender?

This is my 5th house, you want to take a wild guess if I'm a man or woman?
Not only I have Saturn in there, but I have all 3 malefics masculine planets in there, in the most intense sign too, it like a gang of malefics join together.
My condolences in this 5th house of mine is the rulership domicile Mars, at least Mars is in his domicile sign and in his own house.

 

[laurenvty]

OP, I have a 1 degree Scorpio Pluto here, so I'm ALOT older than you. I'm married, long term married too. btw, I'm Cancer Asc like you.

I hope you don't mind me asking and, if you don't want to answer, you can just ignore the questions. But did you get married before or after your Saturn return? And have you been married more than once?
What I have seen a lot with Cancer Ascendants is that, they often marry after their Saturn return and some go on to have a very happy married life. But those, who marry before their Saturn return, a lot of times are not happy in their marriage, so they either get divorced and marry again after their Saturn return or they stay in that marriage and suffer for it. But again - that's not always the case for everybody. There are other factors as well.

 

[Zora]

Can you explain to me so I can understand what the difference if Saturn in 5th for different gender?

No - reversed.

You tell me your gender. I tell you something about the difference.
I don't have astrological questions. Here.

Gender in a chart is simply normal to know - as nobody can cast a chart without this.