First off, here's my main questions: If you have a Sun-Moon square in your chart, what were some of the issues that you wish your mother (or father) could've avoided as you were growing. Do you have a good relationship with one or both parents? Were there accidental miscommunications that were solved (or not!) once you got older?
Secondly, I'm wondering how I can help my son grow up under/handle this aspect pattern. Are there ways you wish you had been supported that your caretakers overlooked? Does anyone have suggestions for helping someone understand the disconnect between will and emotions that this aspect dictates? What knowledge helped you to understand and integrate this aspect into your life (or if you were consulting someone, into theirs)? Did you ever look back on the experiences that caused you to feel disconnected between will/emotions and realize that some of them were innate parts of childhood (ie; a child having to be taught how to express their emotions effectively, rather than screaming or becoming overwhelmed) or do you feel the conflicts that defined this aspect pattern for you were completely separate from the typical emotional bumps and bruises that come with growing up? Were they avoidable?
Naturally, he will have to work with his own placements to grow and develop on his life path, but I want to make sure that as I am supporting his development (or at the very least, not hindering it!), rather than becoming another facet of the obstacles he will inevitably have to face.
I've added background info below if just because when reading about Sun-Moon square parent relationships, I wouldn't say most descriptions strongly apply. We love eachother deeply, and while I hope that we can change our situation so that my husband can have more time with his family each day, there's nothing I'd want to change about him personally. I know he feels the same way.
However I did read something about the aspect on here that made more sense:
"The ongoing struggle is in resolving contradictory inner messages, a psychological tendency which may have its roots deep within childhood perceptions of the parental relationship and your sense of emotional contact with your parents. As the Moon signifies the mother, and the Sun the father, in this context, there is the implication that there was a crucial problem inherent in that parental relationship, perhaps incompatibility on some vital level, or a lack of communication which may have led to a marriage breakdown in some respect. This may not have been evident on the surface of that relationship, but existed as an underlying current within the domestic psyhcic atmosphere which you registered. There may have been a partial identification with one parent to the exclusion of the other, perhaps because one parent had little time to spend with you."
Secondly, I'm wondering how I can help my son grow up under/handle this aspect pattern. Are there ways you wish you had been supported that your caretakers overlooked? Does anyone have suggestions for helping someone understand the disconnect between will and emotions that this aspect dictates? What knowledge helped you to understand and integrate this aspect into your life (or if you were consulting someone, into theirs)? Did you ever look back on the experiences that caused you to feel disconnected between will/emotions and realize that some of them were innate parts of childhood (ie; a child having to be taught how to express their emotions effectively, rather than screaming or becoming overwhelmed) or do you feel the conflicts that defined this aspect pattern for you were completely separate from the typical emotional bumps and bruises that come with growing up? Were they avoidable?
Naturally, he will have to work with his own placements to grow and develop on his life path, but I want to make sure that as I am supporting his development (or at the very least, not hindering it!), rather than becoming another facet of the obstacles he will inevitably have to face.
I've added background info below if just because when reading about Sun-Moon square parent relationships, I wouldn't say most descriptions strongly apply. We love eachother deeply, and while I hope that we can change our situation so that my husband can have more time with his family each day, there's nothing I'd want to change about him personally. I know he feels the same way.
However I did read something about the aspect on here that made more sense:
"The ongoing struggle is in resolving contradictory inner messages, a psychological tendency which may have its roots deep within childhood perceptions of the parental relationship and your sense of emotional contact with your parents. As the Moon signifies the mother, and the Sun the father, in this context, there is the implication that there was a crucial problem inherent in that parental relationship, perhaps incompatibility on some vital level, or a lack of communication which may have led to a marriage breakdown in some respect. This may not have been evident on the surface of that relationship, but existed as an underlying current within the domestic psyhcic atmosphere which you registered. There may have been a partial identification with one parent to the exclusion of the other, perhaps because one parent had little time to spend with you."
-- Here's some background info, it may not be necessary for you to read, but I've added it in case anyone is curious or trying to understand his environment.
Naturally, when my son was born, the first thing I did (once he'd eaten and dozed off of course!) was pull up his birth chart. When I first saw it, I was overjoyed for him, it's a beautiful chart. Naturally it has its shortcomings, but with a Libra Ascendant, a Leo Sun, a Taurus Moon, I was thrilled to know that my son would almost certainly be well-liked and attract others affection in life. It was then that I realized he had a tight Sun square Moon configuration, and ever since it has been at the forefront of my mind.
Sun square Moon can be a very difficult aspect to be born under, and it did not escape me that with Sun squaring Moon, we're talking about issues dealing with the father and mother here. Naturally, I want to do everything I can to help him with this aspect so that he can use the dynamic energy of the square to propel himself forward in life, rather than be held back. As someone with nearly exclusively conjunctions and squares in their chart, I'm well aware of the difficulty of hard aspects, but also of their potential.
To give an idea of our relationship as parents, Cillian's father and I are very much in love and are affectionate with each other. His father is incredibly devoted, but in typical Cap Sun-Mars-Mercury style, tends to show this by working hard and trying to provide, in the midst of his effort to take care of the ones he loves, he can turn a blind eye to emotional and social needs, of himself and others. We all have shortcomings, but at least his come from a loving place. He is absolutely besotted with our son and wants more children, he loves being a father and regrets not being able to spend more time with our family.
In the early days of our relationship (before having our son), we butted heads a lot due to communication issues, but once we resolved these, we found that in most cases our disagreements came from misunderstanding what the other was trying to say, not basic incompatibility. It's been mostly smooth sailing since then, and aside from a little spat here or there like most married couples experience, we don't fight.
The only issue in our relationship, and perhaps the one that is responsible for definining the Sun-Moon square, is that my husband works excessively. His position is all consuming, and except for small ways in which he helps here and there, I handle everything else in our lives as a matter of course. Save for the first couple months after he was born (my husband was working elsewhere then and was able to help a lot more for the first four months, although he wasn't able to take actual paternity leave; he remembers this time with extreme fondness
), that also includes about 99% of material childcare.
My husband is an operational executive, and really is working from the time he wakes up in the morning until just before he goes to bed at night--before he heads into work he's fielding phonecalls for several hours, and once he comes home he's fielding phonecalls until 11pm, sometimes past midnight, depending on if there are issues (there generally are).
Right now it is worse than usual because he is trying to get a new location opened up, but in some form or another my husband tends to fall prey to workaholism. He doesn't feel like his position is secure (no matter where he works, really) if he sets appropriate work-life boundaries. We don't really fight about this because I know that his incredible anxiety over maintaining his position (especially now, in a place that he doesn't really like working) is because he is so concerned with supporting our family. To a certain extent, there's not much he could do even if he did set boundaries--mistakes are constantly being made and they regularly travel all the way up the chain and end up having to be fixed by him anyway, so I think he actually saves himself some time by being proactive.
But even still, I try to gently remind him that he needs to be present for our son, that it's just as important as providing for him--and time is something that you can never get back. Our son doesn't get to see him much--probably in the realm of 15hrs a week, give or take--so I try to make sure that they time they do spend together is 'fun time', when they can just hang out and laugh and play because all the work is done. Naturally that leads me to worry that I'll be remembered as the 'mean' parent rather than the fun one, and I sometimes feel its unfair that I get stuck with all the hard parts of parenting while I give my husband the just-desserts, but at the end of the day when I process that I realize a) I get plenty of just-desserts all day long, they're just mixed in with the brass tacks of parenting, and b) its not as if my husband is goofing off/on vacation, he works hard, and c) I want my son to remember his relationship with his father fondly, and I'm sure he'll remember our relationship fondly as well, if anything I can explain the hardships created by having to be the discliplinary parent when he's older. We spend all of our time together and have an extremely affectionate, tight bond so I think me worrying that he'll remember his dad as the 'nice, fun one' is just that: worrying (and maybe a little jealousy/insecurity! I just love him so much, I can't stand the idea of him misunderstanding that)
Naturally, when my son was born, the first thing I did (once he'd eaten and dozed off of course!) was pull up his birth chart. When I first saw it, I was overjoyed for him, it's a beautiful chart. Naturally it has its shortcomings, but with a Libra Ascendant, a Leo Sun, a Taurus Moon, I was thrilled to know that my son would almost certainly be well-liked and attract others affection in life. It was then that I realized he had a tight Sun square Moon configuration, and ever since it has been at the forefront of my mind.
Sun square Moon can be a very difficult aspect to be born under, and it did not escape me that with Sun squaring Moon, we're talking about issues dealing with the father and mother here. Naturally, I want to do everything I can to help him with this aspect so that he can use the dynamic energy of the square to propel himself forward in life, rather than be held back. As someone with nearly exclusively conjunctions and squares in their chart, I'm well aware of the difficulty of hard aspects, but also of their potential.
To give an idea of our relationship as parents, Cillian's father and I are very much in love and are affectionate with each other. His father is incredibly devoted, but in typical Cap Sun-Mars-Mercury style, tends to show this by working hard and trying to provide, in the midst of his effort to take care of the ones he loves, he can turn a blind eye to emotional and social needs, of himself and others. We all have shortcomings, but at least his come from a loving place. He is absolutely besotted with our son and wants more children, he loves being a father and regrets not being able to spend more time with our family.
In the early days of our relationship (before having our son), we butted heads a lot due to communication issues, but once we resolved these, we found that in most cases our disagreements came from misunderstanding what the other was trying to say, not basic incompatibility. It's been mostly smooth sailing since then, and aside from a little spat here or there like most married couples experience, we don't fight.
The only issue in our relationship, and perhaps the one that is responsible for definining the Sun-Moon square, is that my husband works excessively. His position is all consuming, and except for small ways in which he helps here and there, I handle everything else in our lives as a matter of course. Save for the first couple months after he was born (my husband was working elsewhere then and was able to help a lot more for the first four months, although he wasn't able to take actual paternity leave; he remembers this time with extreme fondness
), that also includes about 99% of material childcare.My husband is an operational executive, and really is working from the time he wakes up in the morning until just before he goes to bed at night--before he heads into work he's fielding phonecalls for several hours, and once he comes home he's fielding phonecalls until 11pm, sometimes past midnight, depending on if there are issues (there generally are).
Right now it is worse than usual because he is trying to get a new location opened up, but in some form or another my husband tends to fall prey to workaholism. He doesn't feel like his position is secure (no matter where he works, really) if he sets appropriate work-life boundaries. We don't really fight about this because I know that his incredible anxiety over maintaining his position (especially now, in a place that he doesn't really like working) is because he is so concerned with supporting our family. To a certain extent, there's not much he could do even if he did set boundaries--mistakes are constantly being made and they regularly travel all the way up the chain and end up having to be fixed by him anyway, so I think he actually saves himself some time by being proactive.
But even still, I try to gently remind him that he needs to be present for our son, that it's just as important as providing for him--and time is something that you can never get back. Our son doesn't get to see him much--probably in the realm of 15hrs a week, give or take--so I try to make sure that they time they do spend together is 'fun time', when they can just hang out and laugh and play because all the work is done. Naturally that leads me to worry that I'll be remembered as the 'mean' parent rather than the fun one, and I sometimes feel its unfair that I get stuck with all the hard parts of parenting while I give my husband the just-desserts, but at the end of the day when I process that I realize a) I get plenty of just-desserts all day long, they're just mixed in with the brass tacks of parenting, and b) its not as if my husband is goofing off/on vacation, he works hard, and c) I want my son to remember his relationship with his father fondly, and I'm sure he'll remember our relationship fondly as well, if anything I can explain the hardships created by having to be the discliplinary parent when he's older. We spend all of our time together and have an extremely affectionate, tight bond so I think me worrying that he'll remember his dad as the 'nice, fun one' is just that: worrying (and maybe a little jealousy/insecurity! I just love him so much, I can't stand the idea of him misunderstanding that)
