Looking at your chart, I can see you have some difficult placements. Don’t let this discourage you though. From what I’ve read and heard other Astrologers say, advanced souls choose difficult placements to help the soul achieve as much growth as possible in a lifetime. We obtain the most growth through challenges and hardships.
I see your natal Moon conjunct natal Saturn in your 6th house. This placement is difficult on emotions - Saturn tends to depress the Moon, and the 6th house depletes planets placed within it. Saturn doesn’t like being in Cancer either because it’s in its detriment. That said, you have help from the benefic Jupiter with the quintile aspect it makes to your Moon and Saturn.
I see creative potential and spiritualism in your chart with Neptune in your first house and the stellium in your 8th house. Mars likes being in the 8th house since it’s in its own house (some Astrologers would disagree). With the Sun conjunct Mars in the 8th house, I see courage, strength, and a lot of potential overall in 8th house matters - research, science, occultism, and/or finance.
The square between your natal Sun and Pluto in the 11th house could create power struggles with friends. I sense these struggles could come up through shared finances like lending money to friends and/or vice versa, or through negative Scorpio traits like jealousy, control, and possessiveness. I’d say avoid lending money and/or borrowing money with friends, if ever a scenario like this comes up. When choosing friends, I feel like it’s best to pick friends who are spiritual and appreciate the deeper things in life, otherwise there could be disappointment with friends from what I’m seeing.
It seems like your 6th house placement of the Moon and Saturn will require care and work to maintain, but it will be worth it.
I sense a bit of envy from your parents with your 4th house ruler (Mars) in the 8th house square natal Pluto in the 11th house (of hopes and dreams). I can see the critical nature of your environment too with Mars in Virgo in the 8th house.
With your North Node in the 4th house, emotional safety is important. The ruler of your 4th house is sesquiquadrate your North Node, so the goal to achieve emotional safety will be a challenge while being in an environment that provides no emotional safety.
With Neptune in your first, you’re more impressionable and vulnerable to psychic influence(s). It’s best to avoid alcohol and drugs because they can make you even more vulnerable to outside influences.
There are definitely some hard placements in your chart, but there are also ~good placements that have a lot of potential once you work through your difficult placements - like finding people you feel emotionally safe around and a home environment you feel emotionally safe in.
Also, not to scare you or anything, but from what I’ve observed, suicidal thoughts can be a form of psychic attack from lower vibrational entities. These thoughts are very dark and they try to seduce you into harming yourself. They attach to negative emotions like anger and resentment. Don’t give into them.
I hope this helps.