valuhz
Well-known member
Since I was a child, i was bullied for my appearance which made me super insecure and then as i entered high school i started getting more heated arguments with my dad (both of us have explosive temper), my parents are very nit-picky, they’ll criticize everything that’s not normal to them example im super skinny and they tell me that or like they point out my flaws and then my insecurity starts. Because of them and their judge mental nature, I started developing social anxiety & ocd which I still have right now and it’s tearing me apart. I just feel like i can’t function as a human anymore, I stutter in my daily life as well and my parents make fun of that as well. I told them about my ocd and i wanted to seek a therapist but my parents said there was no such thing as that, I really can’t take it anymore. Idk why I feel like i’m the most boring person, my friends which are usually just people who i talk to but we never go out together or anything like that and then they stop talking to me its like i can make friends very easily but then i end up not talking to them because i’m afraid they’ll get annoyed of me. Not just this but i have come to a point where i am so pessimistic that I just have no motivation for anything, I envy one of my friends who is a very sociable extrovert who is very funny and I get insecure around her a lot because to me, she’s well liked by everyone and people initiate conversations with her. I also never really had good friends in my life, it’s either most of them were just friends of friends or just major assholes. I’m also failing a lot of my exams because of my ocd and right now i’m so tired and i’m asking myself when i’ll be able to finally break free from all these torture… I really think i can’t live anymore, I am not great myself, i have many disorders and i have a slow mind, my own friends are always rude bitches or they always ignore my existence, my parents especially my father i am so emotionally distant with him because of so many quarrels i had but he has a fragile ego and that needs to be humbled, my love experience hasn’t been great either; i just feel like i’m being delusional of thinking that others like me when in reality they dont im so depressed nothing is working out for me like in every aspect family, education, mental health, friendships nothing is good for me and im tired when is it going to stop
Chart; https://postimg.cc/0bBwQSZ3
Chart; https://postimg.cc/0bBwQSZ3