Is she a cheater?

[WackyAquarius]

Been with a Girl now for about 4 months, Everything is going good except I can't seem to bring myself to fully trusting her.

She's lied to me in the past when we first got together about a guy she casually *******.
She can be heavy with booze and drugs, She's a party chick!
She has lots of male friends. (This doesn't really bother me)
She has low self esteem.

Negatives alone, Are these all reasons enough to suggest Id be better off quitting while I'm ahead? I do think trust is not my greatest strength, but in this case, I feel I may be pissing against the wind here!

A second opinion on her chart, would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks,

Her Chart:

 

[mdinaz]

Since there is no accurate birth time there is a lot of missing info. But with just planet positions which won't change too much, Mercury in Pisces is conjunct Saturn and semisquare Neptune - she likely won't say what she feels and may stretch the truth to avoid unpleasant feelings or experiences. Venus in Aquarius is semisextile Neptune and Mars doesn't aspect Neptune or Uranus, so while I think she is likely not a cheater, she's no saint or prude either. Follow your gut instincts and your first impressions.

 

[Vista]

Hi there,

What planetary aspect/sign placement typically point to a cheater in your opinion? Any beyond the usual suspects?

Since there is no accurate birth time there is a lot of missing info. But with just planet positions which won't change too much, Mercury in Pisces is conjunct Saturn and semisquare Neptune - she likely won't say what she feels and may stretch the truth to avoid unpleasant feelings or experiences. Venus in Aquarius is semisextile Neptune and Mars doesn't aspect Neptune or Uranus, so while I think she is likely not a cheater, she's no saint or prude either. Follow your gut instincts and your first impressions.

 

[Larxene]

Well, Venus and Mars are together. They are out-of-sect, in the unfortunate 8th house, and they are not dignified. Plus, Venus is in the terms of Mars while Mars is in the decan of Venus. To find mitigating factors, we should look at the condition of Jupiter. Jupiter is in-sect, in the favourable 5th house, but is undignified. He is in square to this to this Venus-Mars combination, not a favourable relationship.

The tendency for infidelity is definitely there. The undignified Jupiter in the 5th shows that she is sometimes immoderate with pleasurable activities.


Even without astrology though, those traits you mentioned aren't really favourable for chastity.

 

[mdinaz]

Hi there,

What planetary aspect/sign placement typically point to a cheater in your opinion? Any beyond the usual suspects?

It would have to be a combination of aspects, such as inherent dishonesty (mercury in Aries square Neptune, for example), along with sexual dissatisfaction (mars square uranus for instance for a man, or venus square uranus for a woman). Negative aspects to the DSC such as with Uranus would also make a person more prone to straying, or negative self-esteem aspects (such as a Mars-Chiron square or opposition). People with a more "free-spirited" outlook to sex (such as with Mars in Aquarius for example) would also make the idea of it more palatable. You can't predict who is going to cheat with certainty of course, but I think you can certainly tell that person "A" is far more likely than person "B" to do so. We are talking about serial cheaters here too, not the one-time mistake.

 

[greybeard]

Sounds like you are looking for a steady long-term relationship.

Drugs, booze.....? Hot potato. Not likely to change, big problems.

No astrology necessary for anyone with an ounce of common sense.

Your intuition is telling you DANGER or you probably wouldn't be asking the question. Pay attention to the Little Voice. It's there to protect you.

You might want to post your own chart and ask, "What are the prospects for relationships in my life?" That can bring out your own weaknesses/strengths in developing, maintaining relationships generally, give you the opportunity to improve your chances of forming a lasting and happy union.

It is very much what is within US, not the prospective partner, that makes for the quality of relationships in our lives.

 

[WackyAquarius]

Since there is no accurate birth time there is a lot of missing info. But with just planet positions which won't change too much, Mercury in Pisces is conjunct Saturn and semisquare Neptune - she likely won't say what she feels and may stretch the truth to avoid unpleasant feelings or experiences. Venus in Aquarius is semisextile Neptune and Mars doesn't aspect Neptune or Uranus, so while I think she is likely not a cheater, she's no saint or prude either. Follow your gut instincts and your first impressions.

Gut instincts where never good Mdinaz, But I found the girl in a very messy part of her life and I've falling for her over four months ago. I'm going to post both of our charts! I'd like to know your overall opinion combined with my update post at the bottom

Hi there,

What planetary aspect/sign placement typically point to a cheater in your opinion? Any beyond the usual suspects?

5th house moon? - I've read its common for over night infatuation and love affairs?

Well, Venus and Mars are together. They are out-of-sect, in the unfortunate 8th house, and they are not dignified. Plus, Venus is in the terms of Mars while Mars is in the decan of Venus. To find mitigating factors, we should look at the condition of Jupiter. Jupiter is in-sect, in the favourable 5th house, but is undignified. He is in square to this to this Venus-Mars combination, not a favourable relationship.

The tendency for infidelity is definitely there. The undignified Jupiter in the 5th shows that she is sometimes immoderate with pleasurable activities.


Even without astrology though, those traits you mentioned aren't really favourable for chastity.

Thanks for your input here. Can you give more of any opinion based on my post below?

Sounds like you are looking for a steady long-term relationship.

Drugs, booze.....? Hot potato. Not likely to change, big problems.

No astrology necessary for anyone with an ounce of common sense.

Your intuition is telling you DANGER or you probably wouldn't be asking the question. Pay attention to the Little Voice. It's there to protect you.

You might want to post your own chart and ask, "What are the prospects for relationships in my life?" That can bring out your own weaknesses/strengths in developing, maintaining relationships generally, give you the opportunity to improve your chances of forming a lasting and happy union.

It is very much what is within US, not the prospective partner, that makes for the quality of relationships in our lives.

Greybeard, I relate to this post a lot. Because what's inside me is not the most confident or secure feeling. I would also like your thoughts on my update post.


Update,

So pholks, Thank you very much for taking the time to respond to my post. In this post I will provide my chart and also times and dates of her chart as previously requested.

Where do I start?, It's been a rollcoaster.
I met this girl one December 20th, she was basically on the side of a road in the city center. She'd taking a pill and drank too much and was freezing her *** off. I comforted her, brought her home and woke up the next morning, scared shitless with the fact that I had slept with her the night before (Knowing the state she was in)

What I was presented with the next morning, was someone who intelligent, intense and full of energy. Also on her second year studying Physcology. From the get go, she was always open about many sexual partners and infatuations she had. I could tell she was a flirt and really enjoyed attention.

As much as this raised alarm maybe somwhere in my subconscience my intentions where only for fun but as time went on she grew to the idea of coming off the party life style and becoming my girlfriend. Since then, she's turned her whole life around. She's gotta a new part time job, which she loves and she's working harder in college and getting better results.

She wrote me a letter, big massive thing! Telling me how much I saved her life and how happy she is I found her. Since then our love genuinely has grown but was was always deep right from the beginning. With both our pluto's aligned, to say the least. We never leave the bedroom. It's unreal what I have with this girl and I've never felt like this about anyone in my life.

The big problem, I can deal with her being 6 years younger (20), just about, because she's clever!

What I'm finding hard to deal with is the lies. Sometime around mid feb I realised I had an STD. Although it was possible I could of got it before met this girl I decided to dig into that voice in the back of my head that told me. (She's not telling me somthing)

When we first met I did ask her was she with anyone else. She said no. (not the most convincing no though) (In fear/guilt that she'd giving me an STD about two days after I told her) she confessed that two weeks after we'd met she "banged" sombody.

When I seen her next, I wanted to get down to the nitty gritty of details. While we lied in bed, I asked her to try round down the dates.
She pulled every trick in the book, saying that she couldn't remember because of the mess she was in at the time. ( I wasn't convinced )

She made me feel guilty about it and cried argued with me a lot. Although I wasn't entirely convinced I let it slide as I wanted more time to process the situation.

My gut was telling me, Something isn't right here. So I took opportunity to steal her facebook password and see what I could dig up for myself! Surely enough, the gut wasn't lying... She was.

I found a mix of controversial stuff on her facebook. On one hand she's talking about me to all her close friends about how much she likes me and really all good stuff about me.

To cut a long story short, She banged 3 other blokes around the two/three week perdiod that we met when we weren't officially together.

It was obvious she was in a messy place when I found her. But what really hurt me was I was hooked and focused on her from the moment I met her and she openly played me. A few days after Id got into her facebook she became suspicious and changed her password. (She knew) But she didn't openly tell me she knew, she waited.

When I seen her, I asked her openly. Did you bang anyone else while we met. She came clean, with everything. Her best mate (that she was seeing at some stage which didn't work out) 6th of jan. Another guy who she's friends with on the 10th and a guy she had casual sexual fling on the 28th.

So many lies, But her excuse was, "Jonnie, If I had told you i was banging so many blokes the way I was, You would not have wanted to pursue me further".
She might of had a point there.

So here I am in a predicament, A girl I'm crazy about, but she's lied through her teeth to me... How can I trust her?

To add it, I ready everyone of her messages for days (I know obsessive) But lets be fair, if you felt this about someone and had an opportunity to see what could be ahead. You probably would right?

She talks about her ex in very negative way, that was alarm bells from the get go. But he wouldn't have sex with her for 6 months. So, she cheated on him. In her FB messages she talks about how it was a big mistake at the time.

Her boyfriend previous to that, (We're talking teenage years) treated her like a dickhead and she cheated on him with the guy who became her last boyfriend.

( Lot of Cheating right? )

But I don't want to be the type of person that judges someone on their past. Even though kinda am. She loves me and I've seen her go the extra mile for me and change her whole life (For the better and for herself) to be with me.


Right now, I believe we have everything we need to happy with each other. I've got insecure because of her lies and sometimes I isolate myself from her because I'm afraid I'll ruin things. There was one or two moments where I felt like i was my mind with how venerable she made me feel. I told her, " I can't actually put into words how I much I feel for you, So much it actually scares the sh*t out of me". Her response was "I know it makes ye feel venerable but I kinda love that feeling it contributes to the intensity" ... Yea sweatheart, thanks for the reassurance! :| .. and she doesn't seem to do that quite well!

Reassurance, I don't seem to get that as much as I want it? .... Why is that? If I know she loves me, although that does make me question her love.

Maybe it's an age thing (6 years)
Maybe she just doesn't have that life experience to empathise with me? She still hangs out with a 2 of the guys she banged... another thing that bothers me but she says I have nothing to be concerned about, so I have to listen don't I?

We support each other, care fore each other, and have amazing friendship and respect. Her whole 8th mercury thing is doing my nut in. She keeps it all in. Bottles it all up and I never know what she's up to.

Where Do I go from here guys? How do I put the past behind me and utilize all that is good about our relationship. based on our charts. Can we move forward? Is this a relationship that will work? ..

By the way, she hasn't taken her pill in a month and she's not pregnant... is anybody thinking what I'm thinking? .. I better not be infertile pluto, you big bollox!! :| -

Thanks everyone for you're support an advice, this is very stressful time my life!


Our synastry,

 

[greybeard]

I have a bagful of jokes about people in your situation....but they won't let me tell them here.

Why do I feel like someone's trying to pull my leg? Surely you can't be serious about pursuing this affair?

 

[WackyAquarius]

I have a bagful of jokes about people in your situation....but they won't let me tell them here.

Why do I feel like someone's trying to pull my leg? Surely you can't be serious about pursuing this affair?

No joke here bud. I love her and she ****** up. Now I'm turning to astrology to see what could be on the cards. She was a girl in very messed up place!

 

[Larxene]

Sigh. It should be clear what you should be doing. Since you're having difficulties thinking straight, let's spell it out for you.

- She cheated on you. More than once. Within a very short time span. (Not one, not two, but three! Wow...)
- She cheated on her ex-boyfriends. (Look, if he does not have sex with you or treats you badly, just leave him. No need to cheat on him.)
- Ergo, she has a looooong history of infidelity.
- She presumably gave you STD (god, just how many and what kind of guys do you need to **** to get STD??).
- She has a history of drinking (and getting drunk-- that's how you met her) and taking drugs, so there are periods where she loses control of herself.
- She has many guy friends and still hangs out with them, some of them whom she banged.



Guilty, your honor!

She is six years younger you say? Do you support her financially? Give her a place to live? You are potentially infertile? (let's see your chart to check that out.) Well...if you want to feed another man's child, go ahead with the relationship.

She loves you and you love her a lot? And yet she changes her password and then "comes clean" to you? Does that make any freaking sense to you? If she wanted to come clean she would not need to hide her things on facebook from you! Cuz after telling you about the three other guys, she would have nothing left to hide!

You wanna stay because you love her? Cuz she's clever? There's a term that I'm looking for here. Ah, right! A b*t* male!



Look...it is up to you whether you want to continue the relationship...after all, as Sartre says, we are condemned to be free...but as for the main question on this thread, "is she a cheater?", you do not need astrology to tell you that. The answer is already in front of you!

And even when I looked at her chart, I already noted the tendency for infidelity.

So is she a cheater? Yes!

 

[WackyAquarius]

So is she a cheater? Yes!

Very Vital information that I must include. We were not officially together when she was sleeping around. We had just met and were seeing each other about 2/3 weeks.

Somthing that's always made me feel better about the fear of infidelity is that, it only happens when people aren't happy in their relationship. In theory, if they had everything they needed in the relationship, they would not need to look else where. This relationship is different and we have a lot of good things going, other then the fact that she lied to me.

I suppose ultimately the question should be, Can she be trusted not to lie to me again and is this relationship worth the stress? The love we have for each other is out of this world. But we're fighting a lot over the the fact that I she lied. Based on our chart, Is she worth my trust?

Should I give this a chance? Or quit while I'm ahead? ...

 

[mermaidinthedark]

Hello there! You can give it a try because you still insist....one must go through experiences to face reality...but if you'll be in pain, there will be nobody to blame, but you, sorry...She won't be responsible for your illusions.
I kind of feel what you can possibly feel...you love her honestly and openly, and you think that if she's with you...she'll change..that you, or the bond you have together can change her,

...well....it won't...
why I am telling you all these? One year ago..I was exactly in your situation.
He wasn't really a boozzer...but he was a womaniezer in flesh and blood. A cheater..and ocassionally getting high....I loved him A LOT. I did my best to keep him happy..he never had anything to complain abb me..because I tried to keep myself balanced and not to be a doormat, but not a rebel in the relationship. I was exactly like you..did he changed? not really..when I asked him honestly for the last time if he''ll change..he said he could..but not really much. The ugly moments replaced the few beautiful memories from the beginning..was it worth the fight? for me NO.

Ultimately is your decision but sometimes..the head wants to protect the pains of the heart...sometimes people only can save themselves..or even less than that.
Hope I did not sound harsh or rude..it wasn't my intention.
Good luck to you ^^

 

[ashriia]

This relationship is different and we have a lot of good things going, other then the fact that she lied to me.

I suppose ultimately the question should be, Can she be trusted not to lie to me again and is this relationship worth the stress? The love we have for each other is out of this world. But we're fighting a lot over the the fact that I she lied.

"Lots of good things going " but the most important foundation for any relationship is missing and was corrupted from the outset, and that is Trust.

 

[Larxene]

I suppose ultimately the question should be, Can she be trusted not to lie to me again and is this relationship worth the stress? The love we have for each other is out of this world. But we're fighting a lot over the the fact that I she lied. Based on our chart, Is she worth my trust?

Should I give this a chance? Or quit while I'm ahead? ...

Note that I am using Whole Sign Houses.

Well, for the trustwortiness of the native, I would look at the characteristics of her mind. The first significator is the ruler of the Ascendant, which is the Moon. The Moon is in Sagittarius. She is undignified here, in the unfortunate 6th house of infirmities and illnesses, and she is contrary to the sect. She is in the 8th house from Fortune (i.e. Lot of Fortune), so neither the Ascendant nor Fortune gives positive testimonies about the character of the native.

As for the native, Sagittarius, a fiery sign and the domicile of Jupiter tells us that she is quite an active/prolific person in her activities. However, the Moon is not configured to Jupiter, and Jupiter is not dignified. Jupiter in the house of pleasure, as I have said before, in a compromised position signifies excess. Sagittarius is a bi-corporeal/mutable sign, shows that the native has an unstable mind. The last part of Sagittarius is considered four-footed and licentious, and this is the sign of Jupiter, so this shows that sometimes she can be chaste and sometimes she will be adulterous.

Next, we look at Mercury, natural significator of the mind. Mercury is in fall, contrary to the sect but in a good 9th house. He is malefied by an undignified Saturn, makes the person deceptive and secretive. Again, the main issue here is the fact that Mercury is in a bi-corporeal sign. Sometimes she is stable, and sometimes is she is capricious. Some of the Persian astrologers consider the bi-corporeal signs to be a bad place for Mercury, because of this instability. It makes completing one's goal difficult. This includes instability of commitment.



In conclusion, the native suffers from an instability of mind. Presumably she is around 20-25 years old, so that would make you 26-30+. The risk is just too high...if this relationship does not work out...you'll be a little too old.

In my opinion, people do not change much. Some people may think they can change whenever they want to...but my observation of people tells me otherwise. The more people try to change, the more they remain the same. That is the Paradoxical Theory of Change.

 

[WackyAquarius]

beginning..was it worth the fight? for me NO.

Ultimately is your decision but sometimes..the head wants to protect the pains of the heart...sometimes people only can save themselves..or even less than that.
Hope I did not sound harsh or rude..it wasn't my intention.
Good luck to you ^^

Hi Mermaid,
You didn't sound harsh at all. But you did say he couldn't change his life for you. In many ways she has for me. She's also never cheated on me. She's lied. Mainly because she thought If I knew the truth Id run and she was embarrassed about that.

Greybeard thinks I'm nuts for even perusing this and so do a lot of people on this thread. But what people don't know is how sweat this girl actually is and beyond the lies how good we are together.

Last saturday night we had a argument. The reason we had the argument was because I dived right back into the relationship and forgave her instantly without really processing what had happened. It was clear from the argument that wasn't really related to the past but was probably subconsciously fueled on my behalf.

We'd a nice evening together on Sunday which felt really good, we both agreed that I or we, ? really needed to take a step back from what had happened and have time to reflect. (in hindsite it was really me that needed this)

At the start of the week I missed her, but by the end of the week the extent to which she went to protect herself in lying really just circulated in my mind.
Also the fact that had she not know Id been in her facebook, I probably never would of known the truth? (This is what really bothers me)

The fact that I had to force her into telling me the truth. (Her knowing that she had giving me an STD) ... It wasn't the ideal situation of her coming clean and that's now planted that seed of doubt that I don't ever think I'm going to get over.

Then I think about our friendship, our passion, the fact that we genuinely care about each other, it breaks my heart!

A good friend of mine told me when in doubt, do nothing! I'll meet up with her next week, I'll tell her where I'm at and see where that puts her at. If she gets angry, defensive and doesn't understand why I may need more time. That will probably be the rock we both perish.

Thanks for sharing
x

 

[WackyAquarius]

.

So is she a cheater? Yes!

Lot of points there larxene, But maybe the title should not have been "Is she a cheater" instead I should of titled it. "Can this work?"

Did I mention in my past relationship that lasted 3 years, I cheated. In fact it was the in the first 6 months that I had met my ex. The guilt alone was enough to make me commit to the relationship for another 2 and half years! (I know all the wrong reasons) But look where that relationship ended? No where!

So ye see, there's two voices in my head... If we can utilize everything we do have which is good. I think we'd have a really good relationship on her hands.

To let her go, now, Would feel like I'm making a mistake. and its that question, that drives me to post up here.

I have the truth now, I just think she may not have showing a enough remorse on her side for been caught with her hand on the cookie jar. Essentially, she doesn't know how much its hurting me and I don't know how long it's going to take me to get over it or what the best way to go about that is.

I was hoping for people to asses the astrology of our synastry and see what jumps off the page. (There's been very little of that done) Maybe I've giving to much details around the problems as apposed to the positive?

 

[Marinka]

Am I missing something here ...

You are worried about trusting her but, it seems that you are the one breaking into her facebook account.

No astrology was used in this answer.

 

[Zarathu]

If you had an accurate birth chart for her, and one for you, then we could do an accurate synastry chart tell you exactly what the issues between you are.

Without accurate birth charts, this is just a discussion that goes nowhere.

Clearly you have an intense sexual attraction to her and this allows you to ignore rationality, since you may be led around by a different part of your body than your prefrontal cortex.

Find out here birth data so we can close this down for you once and for all.

 

[WackyAquarius]

Am I missing something here ...

You are worried about trusting her but, it seems that you are the one breaking into her facebook account.

No astrology was used in this answer.

Yes I followed my gut instinct that she lied and seized an opportunity to confirm that doubt. The big question is, had she not known that I got into facebook before I confronted her, would she have come clean?

 

[draconic]

you'd better post your chart.synastry comes after you've ascertained your own relationship patterns..it can help to pull them out, but I believe that ultimate answers to apparently impossible questions are in your own chart.
and wondering why everybody is telling you to that a relationship is not to last or be pursued, whereas you speak of passion and care for each other and such things, is in my opinion an impossible question.
let's say that you can say with some degree of certainty that you're immune to the game played ,even though unconsciously, by people who present themselves as a victim...and still you are strongly drawn to this actual relationship...then the synastry could contain useful information.it's back and forth between them, but if you have a blind spot regarding your relating patterns..I'd suggest that it's exactly what you could work on,to hope for a working and satisfying relationship