Is he worth my time?

[Jess cms]

Hey there

So as soon as I realized I could ask someone here to read my chart, I really had to ask something of you. I really hope there's someone here that can help me with this.

First of all I have to say I chose to cut off our names because I really don't want him to find out I'm here asking for advice and on the internet, we never know x)
I guessed you could work on our charts only.
(If it helps somehow, we have the same birth day xD)

aaanyway... in short, me and this guy, we used to have something, like a connection. I don't really know how to put it because it wasn't a relationship per say, but it wasn't only friendship either. Not long ago he was always going on about the feelings he had for me, and I have to say I felt something as well. The thing is, the timing was terrible! We met short after his break up with his ex and things got messy with time, untill I realized he wasn't worth my time. In the past few weeks I just decided he's an a**hole and my pride is keeping me from fighting for whatever it is we used to share, because right now I have so much going on in my life that I just don't need anyone else to make me feel miserable and to make me waste my time.

Although, sometimes I think about him and about what happened. I mean, I feel all this anger and I just think he's the most self absorbed bast*** I've ever known... but at the same time I can't say I don't care about him because I still do.

Sooo, it would be really helpful if someone here could tell me if I should just give up because there's no future for us... or if we have enough potential that I should think twice before I walk away.
I won't humiliate myself to him, nor anyone. But if there's something worth to fight for, then I can think twice before I tell him to f*ck off x)

So I guess that's it.. I'll let our charts here so you guys can tell me what you think the first one is my chart and the second is his..

 

[Jess cms]

Could someone help me, please? It would really be a great help to know if I should let this go for good or not, cause I have this tendency to never let go of people untill I'm sure I should. I'm sure that tendency of mine may be in my chart somewhere x)

So, pleaaase!! If there's someone there who's able to help me I'll be in your debt!

 

[Yuri]

1. As to the 1 chart:
- s7 Jup Sco the3th.h 0 +2
opp.Moo
- Moo +5 +2
- Ven -5 0
weak position for a marriage as a whole
- s1 Mer in Sco 14
Mar - Mar Ven Sun ... Ven Moo
But the Asc right between the two signs (0deg) - all this may turn out wrong.

2. 2 chart:
- s7 Sat in detriment-5 -8
- Moo in detriment -5 -8
- Ven 0 +2
also weak position for a marriage as a whole
- s1 Ven in Cap 22
Sat Mar Moo Mar Sun ... Moo Jup
But the Asc right between the two signs (29deg) - all this may turn out wrong.

Both charts are hardly appropriate for marriage or any stable relationship - bad relevant significators.
As to your mutual relationship by reception (comptibility):
3. Reception
s11-s12 -3
s12-s11 0
(by scale of -7...+7).
All this is a rough assessement bit it's rather accurate.
But it is very likely wrong because of your birth time are right between the two signs for both charts. You need to make very accurate rectification but it takes a lot of time and very expensive.

 

[Jess cms]

First of all, thank you so much for trying to help me. I'm not sure I understood though... my understanding of astrology is really basic yet and I feel like you're talking chinese

anyway.. did you just say that my chances for marriage (with him or anyone else) are slim?!
you please don't say that to me because that's like one of my biggest dreams ever.. to wed and start a family!!

 

[Uranus 8]

Forget this guy now. Too much wide age gap between you. This guy have violent aspects. Please, date people of your generation.

 

[Jess cms]

Forget this guy now. Too much wide age gap between you. This guy have violent aspects. Please, date people of you generation.

Don't get me wrong, but I can date whoever I want, regardless of age. That's my problem and I have no interest in prejudiced comments about my choices. There are many relationships like that and there's nothing wrong with that.

Now.. I can agree with you when you say he has violent aspects. I can't see that on his chart, but there are things I know about him (about his life and his personality) that would explain those violent aspects you see. And he's probably not good for me, and I probably don't need an astrologer to tell me that as I believe I'm shrewd enough... but as I said before I have something about me, I don't know.. I just need to be sure of things by any means possible xD

And I don't know... I guess I'm naturally drawn to broken men. I just have this probably childish notion that I can always fix something or someone with love.

Anyway, thanks for taking time to check our charts

 

[Uranus 8]

Your love notion will be erroded with time passed around poisonous people. Take care.
May the pactice of astrology (or your yet developped common sense) allow you to identify them in the future ok I stop the moralist tone.

 

[Jess cms]

I guess I can be a bit naive and yet I'm down to earth at the same time.
When it comes to love I probably have too many dreams and I'll probably get my heart shattered many times because of those dreams... and yet, I can't let go of them. It's just the way I am x)
About common sense though, that is something I don't think I lack.

And yes, your moralist tone is getting on my nerves. And I'm saying this while smiling so... it's ok, I'm nice

 

[Uranus 8]

The "fun" thing is that I have my Sun on your Saturn. This is the moralist degree of your chart...

 

[thelivingsky]

Anytime I see a t-square with the Moon in it, I strongly suspect that the very early relationship with the primary caregiver (usually Mom) was very troubled and dysfunctional. For some reason when I find these Moon t-squares in the charts of women, usually the person is aware of their "mom" issues and can converse about them with some real insight. Also, these women tend to be achievers - why, i don't know. But the men I have seen with Moon t-squares are generally, almost always, unable to heal the wound that is implied here. A good test for me has always been to ask them about their childhood wounds, Mom etc. and see if they have made any commitment in their lives to healing the problems through therapy or spiritual avenues. I dig to see if they have done this kind of work, and have some objectivity about themselves. If they have they should be bale to talk about it openly and without a lot of emotion. If they can't talk about it, that tells you something - something not good - a big red flag. Usually,these guys have oodles of problems and have trouble getting their lives on track in all areas because of their unresolved issues.

He also has a second t-square so he has some serious challenges. So, how is he working at these challenges. Another good test of a person's general mental health and character is to look at the good and negative qualities of their Sun, Moon and Rising (or other very dominant sign) signs and assess if only the negative ones are apparent - which is also a huge red flag. Liz Greene's book Astrology for Lovers has a great description of the "shadow" qualities of each of the signs. I have a short list at my blog if you are interested.

Sounds to me he is pretty "raw" and "wounded" and has not done his healing work. You deserve much better, don't you think?

Barb at thelivingsky.wordpress.com

 

[thelivingsky]

If you can post a composite chart , it may show why you have this obsession about him and why you are having trouble making a decision for yourself.

 

[Jess cms]

The "fun" thing is that I have my Sun on your Saturn. This is the moralist degree of your chart...

What does that mean? And why is that "fun"? xD

Anytime I see a t-square with the Moon in it, I strongly suspect that the very early relationship with the primary caregiver (usually Mom) was very troubled and dysfunctional. For some reason when I find these Moon t-squares in the charts of women, usually the person is aware of their "mom" issues and can converse about them with some real insight. Also, these women tend to be achievers - why, i don't know. But the men I have seen with Moon t-squares are generally, almost always, unable to heal the wound that is implied here. A good test for me has always been to ask them about their childhood wounds, Mom etc. and see if they have made any commitment in their lives to healing the problems through therapy or spiritual avenues. I dig to see if they have done this kind of work, and have some objectivity about themselves. If they have they should be bale to talk about it openly and without a lot of emotion. If they can't talk about it, that tells you something - something not good - a big red flag. Usually,these guys have oodles of problems and have trouble getting their lives on track in all areas because of their unresolved issues.

He also has a second t-square so he has some serious challenges. So, how is he working at these challenges. Another good test of a person's general mental health and character is to look at the good and negative qualities of their Sun, Moon and Rising (or other very dominant sign) signs and assess if only the negative ones are apparent - which is also a huge red flag. Liz Greene's book Astrology for Lovers has a great description of the "shadow" qualities of each of the signs. I have a short list at my blog if you are interested.

Sounds to me he is pretty "raw" and "wounded" and has not done his healing work. You deserve much better, don't you think?

Barb at thelivingsky.wordpress.com

humm, I'm not sure about him having mommy issues.. but then again I'm not sure cause I know his mom had a complicated illness that could have done some damage to him. But I think he was her favorite actually (he has a brother that she treated badly). Although I know he has daddy issues. He's family is kind of strange anyway... from what I know of them.

But yes you are right, he has some serious challenges and I can say, from what he told me about him, he throw away most of his life with nonsense and people who are bad to him. He was a real mess when I met him and I tried to help him and he's actually trying to do something about his life, which is something that he thanks me for.. he was always grateful to me because he used to say that I helped him a lot. Right now I'm not sure what he thinks anymore and I think he's doing something wrong... I wish him only the best but I won't try to help him any longer after the way me made me feel. I mean, I don't ever walk away from people and if he ever needs me, I'm here despite all, but don't think I should try more than I did already.

anyway, thanks for your time.. you're very right in what you said.

btw, I don't know almost anything about Liz Greene, but from just the few things I read I'm under the impression that she's an awesome astrologer!!

If you can post a composite chart , it may show why you have this obsession about him and why you are having trouble making a decision for yourself.

What did you mean by this?

 

[Bunraku]

On astro.com there is an option to create composite charts on the advanced chart selection feature

 

[Jess cms]

Oh.. and that would show why I have this "obsession"..
well I don't think that's necessary, but thanks anyway for the suggestion.
I wouldn't call this an obsession whatsoever. And I know why I still think about him sometimes... the main reason is that I don't give up on people easily (lovers, friends, family, whoever). In his particular case there's more to it, but I'll keep my reasons for myself.
Anyway, you guys have been helpful, thank you for your time

I can't help you guys with astrology but if I can do something for you just let me know

 

[MooninTaurus]

Jess cms,
I've had a quick look at your charts and I've noticed the following ;-

You have Venus conj Pluto in Scorpio so you approach relationships with great intensity. On top of that Pluto squares your Asc so you are pumping out all this fascinating Scorpio energy that is drawing in these Scorpionic type of people.

You say you keep attracting "broken" people - have you ever thought about being a counsellor?

This guy certainly has a Scorpionic flavour with a t-square to Pluto. As this involves the Moon so he may have had issues with a controlling, manipulative mother. His moon is opp Saturn, so there may have been issues with his mother being cold or a disciplinarian.

Any relationship with him would be challenging for you because he has venus square uranus - likes his own space/freedom and mars square uranus - sudden unpredictable bursts of energy, going off at tangents.
His moon opp saturn might be too cool for you but your moons are in trine which is a good link.

I knew a girl with similar aspects to yourself. She had Venus in Scorpio square Pluto and venus was on her Scorpio Asc. So she was always attracting these really intense guys who often had problems involving alchohol. Her relationships were a series of disasters and the last time I saw her she had just married her 5th husband! When I asked her why she got herself in these predicaments she said " I need to feel something, the only time I know I am alive is when I feel something".

Only you can decide if your need to feel is worth all the angst you might get from this guy?

 

[Jess cms]

Hey
Thanks in advance for your time!

Yeah, it's truth that I approach relationships with great intensity. I don't know if I attract broken people (I didn't say that, I said I'm drawn to them xD)... that may be truth but I never really thought of that. In which case, I'm attracted to that kind of people but not the depressed type really, I don't think I have the patience for depressed people. I don't want to sound mean, and I really like to help people.. but I think it depends on the way people deal with their life and their problems.

So I'm not sure about me being a counsellor. I don't think I'd like to do that as a profession but I've heard many times from friends and family and so, how I am a good adviser. People constantly thank me for helping them, when in fact sometimes I don't think I did much for them. It's probably the way I talk, the way I see life, I don't know really what it is x)

Anyway, as I said above, I'm not sure about his issues with is mom but I think it's a possibility as she had a complicated mental illness.

and yessss, he has problems involving alcohol... which is something that only got worst with his ex as she has problems invonving alcohol as well. I actually tried to help him with that as well, and he actually tried to do something about it, he got better for some time. But right now I don't really know what he's been doing anymore..

As for your last question. Honestly he would have everything from me, despite all is issues, despite how much complicated our relationship could be.. I would give him everything, if only he had respected me enough, loved me enough. I really don't like to go after people, I have my pride and my dignity and I won't let go of my self respect because of him.
I'm probably better without him, it's just a shame that things ended the way they did... but I'm feeling better these days.
I confess I have a certain necessity to love and to be loved and that can make me really frustrated when things end and all stays "unresolved" if you know what I mean. In this case, when all I did was help him, he wronged me and never even tried to fix things so we could be friends, and he probably won't.