My name "Chrysalis" just randomly came to me whilst i was thinking of a random name, and i liked it. I do get random thoughts come to me like this though all the time.....all through my life ive had like ideas or thoughts that i can only describe as being implanted in my head at a given time, ive had loads of experiences like this.
But then its funny how its the "chrysalis" as that's how i feel i am at present, i feel like im awakening in a sense....i've emerged from one being to another, removing from me what's not needed anymore, whats not me and being my true self. And i now feel so much more content and happy with myself, even though most of this time is spent alone. Im such a different person than i was like 6 years ago say....and the further back you get you wouldnt recognize me now.
wow, beautiful name indeed

and how befitting that it's given an equally beautiful meaning later on!

I think one of the most incredible things about humans is our ability to transform, to change like a caterpillar to a butterfly. I definitely changed a lot, comparing my 17 yr. old self to my 23 yr old now. Still changing, slowly, but better than before.
Now, about my username... I've had it different forms on other sites, but 'guardian angel' was a name I chose for myself when I was in high school I believe... I was really emotional then and cried very easily, especially when I thought about the world's suffering. I thought that if i could be an angel I could save people. I've read about guardian angels and how they're supposed to protect people so I chose that name because that's what I wanted to be deep inside.
Also, when I was a youngster, I always felt bad for people who were sad, even if they were crying for a simple reason. A few times I have 'saved' people in a way, but as time went on, I realized that i couldn't really save anyone...
There was one time, probably when I was 6, that I saw two bullies beating up this kid and I stupidly said I'll take the victim's place and they can kick my leg (i thought i had strong legs...). The victim ran away and I took his place as said.....and the bullies, of course, beat me up........ =\
But, really, I am not close to being called a 'guardian angel...' I realized I have lots of work to do on myself and it's really me that needs a lot of saving before i can save others... I imagine myself helping others in the far future, when I feel I have become someone strong enough and happy with myself. There's too much going on with me to be able to do the things I want...
I've learned from a crush of mine that it's "important to take care of yourself
first." I realized I neglected myself a lot to the point of exhaustion, i couldn't help anymore... I can't right now......
Also, just the idea of guardian angels is lovely to me...
And I haven't picked an avatar because I never thought i'd stay on this site for this long xP