Intense dreams crippling me for a decade !!!

aquarianbd

Well-known member
I have been having dreams about a long-lost friend( who is now married and lives abroad) for a decade. The more I try to move away from the person, the more dreams I am having.


I have taken psychological help-which is not working. Astrologers are of many opinions. While many advice me to forget the person at any cost, some say this person will have continuous influence on me (due to past karma). The person's node conjuncts my moon (we are of same age though). The dreams are symbolic- too much symbolic and have occult references as well. But that might be because I am fascinated by occult.


Morally, it is very wrong. I have tried everything in my power to get rid of these dreams. I am not in any form of contact with this person.


Suggested by an astrologer, I kept journal of my dreams of that person. The dreams generally occur during Aquarius (my sun sign), Pisces (my moon,Venus and node sign), Aries (my jupiter sign) and Scorpio (my Pluto/descendant) moons.


Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.


I am adding my birth chart and our synastry (the person's time is unknown). The inner circle is me.
 

Attachments

  • me-western chart.jpg
    me-western chart.jpg
    124.8 KB · Views: 29
  • me and ab synastry.jpg
    me and ab synastry.jpg
    44.4 KB · Views: 19
Last edited:

waybread

Well-known member
Have you asked yourself, what does this person symbolize in my life? Not who he is as a known human being, but what he symbolizes for you.

I'd suggest you think about Pluto symbolism. It's in your 7th house of committed relationships, trining your moon. The moon is the planetary ruler of dreams. Both are planets of the subconscious, along with Neptune.

The next time such a dream comes up, see if you can dialogue with this dream person. Why is he showing up? Does he ever speak to you in your dreams?

The relationship is obviously incomplete for you. That's too bad, but it happens to many people.

There's nothing morally wrong with your dreams. Your subconscious is trying to tell you something, that's all.

I grew up in one house and community until I went away to college at age 17, returning home only for vacations. Even so, all of the dreams I recalled took place in this community until I was in my mid-30s. (The moon also symbolizes one's home.)

If you have birth data for this person, see if any of his personal planets (or planets in transit when you first met) hit your vertex. The vertex is an option you can add to your chart at Astrodienst. The vertex operates like a second descendant (7th house cusp.) It seems to indicate "fateful encounters," and when conjunct or in a septile relationship with a natal planet, psychic ability.
 

aquarianbd

Well-known member
Thanks a lot, waybread, for your concern. You have helped me before as well. I am very grateful to you.


My vertex is in Libra, in my 6th house, not conjuncting any of my personal planets. but sextiling Mars (and Saturn-the orb is greater though). None of his personal planets are in Libra- however according to his tentative birth time (I didnt include it before, because I am not sure of it...) his vertex is in Sagittarius, conjuncting my Mars and Saturn(the orb is greater).We were school friends, so long before we actually talked-we knew each other by name.I dont remember the exact date when we talked, but it was on the month of October. (sun was in Libra). The tentative date I picked shows moon in Libra as well-but thats probably incorrect.


He symbolizes "guilt" and "acceptance"- in my life. 'Acceptance" because he accepted me and tried to be with me, "guilt" because I declined his good intentions and behaved terribly. Mostly my dreams are in the setting of school, and we are parting-though none of us wants to part in their hearts. We have dialogues where we try to repress our feelings and hurt each other....

Any further insight would be very much appreciated. Though perhaps I am just obsessed (Pluto) with a lost cause.
 

waybread

Well-known member
aquarianbd, thanks.

I hate to bring up the term "soul mate" because it is so overused and misunderstood.

This isn't necessarily a life partner, but someone with whom you share mutual opportunities for growth, whether it's for a long or short time. I think one can have several soul mates in the course of a lifetime, each one arriving or departing at a critical point in your development.

I think it was Linda Goodman in her popular sun signs book who said that Aquarians never forget their first love. (With my sun in Aquarius, this is true for me-- and I am now a senior, married twice.)

If you can just stay open to your dreams, regrets, and wishes, and see if you can dialogue in your dreams with this person, see where your growth lies in these recurring episodes.
 

aquarianbd

Well-known member
Waybread,



Thanks again.


I get confused about my growth. There are so many sides, so many concepts, so many dialogues and the subconscious can be perceived from so many angles. When I dream of him, I want him, as a friend,and in my dreams he wants me ... though we both repress the urge. One explanation can be these dreams are telling me not to repress my urge. However, I can't morally entertain this urge in my conscious mind.( He is married). Another possibility is growth means saying goodbye to past. The dreams dont actively suggest that, but as my psychologist pointed out- maybe they are occurring because I refuse to say goodbye to my memories.



I am accepting the"dreams", but I dont know how to interpret them. I am dreaming every week, and after every dream, I have to fight incessantly with my desire to contact him. Thats the tragedy of human life- we never know the full picture and hence can never truly rationalize. I have also tried tarot card readings, and some cards repeatedly come forward.

Anyway, I will try to be more open to these dreams, try to know myself more.
 

aquarianbd

Well-known member
Same old hoo-ey.


These dreams just dont go- and they have specific dates to occur (Scorpio and Pisces moon).


I have tried holding a dialogue- though not very effectively. He withdraws informations, just as he does in real life. The premise is mostly both of us are trying to hold up our feelings- and that creates distance between us.


I dont know why I am writing this anymore, if I continue dreaming-and if there is no active real life communication going on-how can someone help me?!!!


and yet, its draining me .
 

waybread

Well-known member
Can you learn just to live with it?

There is a saying about coping with the death of a loved one. "You will never get over it, but you will get used to it."

Do you want to post your midpoint composite chart? (Available in the free charts section at www.astro.com.)
 

aquarianbd

Well-known member
Thank you again....


I think its easier letting go of dead people. I reacted pretty badly when my grandmom died-went into a trauma....and I still remember her after 21 years... but I cant reach her anyhow. Accepting becomes easier. When you wake up at midnight dreaming of someone , with cry stiffled in your neck- missing that person badly-who is only a click away in facebook.... its difficult. However, I guess thats what I'll have to live with- however difficult may it seem.


I am posting the chart, though... :p
 

Attachments

  • astro_621gw_ab_dipyaman.73213.39739.jpg
    astro_621gw_ab_dipyaman.73213.39739.jpg
    46.6 KB · Views: 15

Osamenor

Staff member
Sounds like you have these dreams when the moon crosses your composite north node or your composite Pluto. It's also crossing your DC along with Pluto and your moon along with NN.

If we just take the Pluto and north node messages, there's something very deep here.
 

aquarianbd

Well-known member
Hi Osamenor .


I hope you are in your best health.


Also, that person's natal n.n conjuncts my natal moon.


My pluto is quite a headache, lol. Being on the descendant, I have abandonment issues .... N.N in pisces in the 11 th is my favorite...


Can you share the deep messages?
 

Osamenor

Staff member
I don't know what those deep messages are. Maybe you do.

Pluto is the ruler of the underworld. If the ruler of the underworld is being stimulated, there has to be a deep message in it, doesn't there?

North node is what you want more and more of, and where you're evolving in the long run. The composite north node between two people is what they as a unit are evolving towards. (Even if you don't have in person, regular contact with this person, there's something you're evolving toward together, whether either of you sees it or not.)

If I were having intense dreams during that kind of stimulation, I would explore what they mean to me, and see the deep message in that. But I'm not you. I can't explore what they mean to you for you.
 

aquarianbd

Well-known member
How to know whether I am grasping the correct meaning??


I feel certain things..... I wish certain things..... but in a shared relationship-one individual's wishes doesn't matter. I cant see the whole picture- maybe my feelings are colored by my own selfish desires !



Well, I believe we are connected. And whether there is any contact ever, we will be connected. But the dreams and their subject matters make me restless. I dont need dreams agitating me to break the barriers, to feel the connection. The dreams inspire me to contact- to break the boundaries. To go above morality, pride, anything worldly. But I am sure it can be the signs of an unhealthy obsession (Pluto?) as well.


And then, there are other things to consider. I cant create havoc in others' life because I WANT SOMETHING. And again, who knows even if I know what I truly want?


Maybe its not that person, but something deeper- concepts like Divine Lover and God and Freedom? With my limited knowledge, I can only explore to a certain level- and I can never be sure of my findings.


But- yes, thats true that no-one can explore them for me. Thats the banality of the situation.


I think I can only ask for prayers then...


Thank you soooo much
 

Osamenor

Staff member
How to know whether I am grasping the correct meaning??
Is it true to you?


I feel certain things..... I wish certain things..... but in a shared relationship-one individual's wishes doesn't matter. I cant see the whole picture- maybe my feelings are colored by my own selfish desires !
These are your dreams. They don't exist for any other individual. Unless there's something you haven't told us, all you're doing is having these dreams, not acting on them. How is that wrong or selfish?

Well, I believe we are connected. And whether there is any contact ever, we will be connected. But the dreams and their subject matters make me restless. I dont need dreams agitating me to break the barriers, to feel the connection. The dreams inspire me to contact- to break the boundaries. To go above morality, pride, anything worldly. But I am sure it can be the signs of an unhealthy obsession (Pluto?) as well.
Pluto can provide an unhealthy obsession, but Pluto is also good at stripping away all pretenses. Like Inanna going down to the underworld, losing another piece of her clothing at each gate until there's nothing left... that's Pluto. Is that what these dreams are doing to/for you?


And then, there are other things to consider. I cant create havoc in others' life because I WANT SOMETHING. And again, who knows even if I know what I truly want?


Maybe its not that person, but something deeper- concepts like Divine Lover and God and Freedom?
Sounds to me like that's what you want. This person may be your Divine Lover, even if he's only that in your dreams and not in real life.
 

aquarianbd

Well-known member
That was really, really, helpful !!!


There is no wrong in dreaming about the person- only I am affected, so if anyone is the victim, thats me.


However- that desire to contact- (well we have chats once every two years , lol)- that is selfish, isnt it? This wish- thirst- to bring this love from the dreamworld to the real world, that may be selfish. Something deep within me says, everything else is pretense-we are both pretending-and at least one of us have to strip first. But then again, that can be selfish.


I have nothing to lose- I am not married, I dont have a life. But I dont want to be unnecessarily the cause of destruction in some other person's life-because I dream of them. Thats why - when this seems unbearable- I return to divinity- looking for symbols which logic cant explain-yes, maybe-I want assurance of my inner feelings.



Undoubtedly, i WANT "the divine love"- question is, whether I am being too greedy to want it in my life-even in form of friendship, or does the moon, Pluto, and north node signalling me to do the exact thing?
 

kshantaram

Premium Member
Your moons pisces-cancer trine are in mutual emotional attraction,
while suns acquarius-cancer are 6/8 in enemy signs lords saturn-moon;
cancer possessive and acquarius mystic, uncertain, scientific, reformist;

Your mars sag, attracted to males with martial skills/attitude etc,
while he seeks a wife with venus gemini, musical skills, humorous etc;

Your jupiter aries significator for husband seeks action orientation
while his jupiter is in taurus, love of food-comforts and stubborn;

Yours lords 1/7 for relationship venus-mars are over sag-pisces same lord jupiter but square, challenge in a relationship;

Ketu separative SNode over virgo 5th, hyper-critical, good for audit-editorial roles,
detachment from luck-education-romance-children-abortion-csection etc;
prayers to Mother Goddess, offer red flowers wed evenings;

Ketu coming 1.5yr now transit sat-mars sag 8th, mars lord 7th for relationship, pain-injury-surgery-detachment;

Sat lord 9th/10th over 8th, negation of luck, career issues; sat-mars lords 7/9, some prosperity
through technical research-foundry technology/mechanics etc, entrepreneurial research,
under stress-struggle including relationships;


Moon-venus-rahu NNode over pisces 11th, learning to be sensitive, acting skills,
gains from foreigners/foreign relationships; toxic health issues, rise-fall in life;

prayers for ancestors, observe fast No-moon evenings; observe death anniversaries religiously;
wear brown hessonite over pendant touching heart;

Jupiter year later moves to venus pisces 11th for gain in relationship to wait for,
while rahu NNode 1.5yr later moves to taurus ascendant manifesting gains from foreigners indicated by rahu pisces 11th,
while care from toxic health issues heart-lungs-feet-kindeys-ears etc;

hope these inputs enable factor and integrate into your search for solutions;
do share reflections how true traits-talents-health-life trends-ideas to pick etc; hope the remedies suggested helpful.


wishing you well, JYOTISHBHUSHAN SHANTARAM
 
Last edited:
Top