incompatible with 90% of people. Why such tense power struggles?

[waterbaby12]

Hi...

So as of late I have come to the realisation that I am incompatible with the vast majority of people and I feel very misunderstood. I know this is probably because of my 12th house stellium.

Looking at my chart - which signs would be typically a good match for me?

A lot of my friends have been sagittarius and Libra -

but one thing that has been made glaringly clear is that me and Leo's do not get along. I mean its like at first we really do and then I end up living with them or getting closer to them and there is a power struggle I never asked for but I'm not going to back down so it creates this weird situation where they try and assert authority over me and are incredulously displeased when I don't succumb.

Scorpios.... where do I begin... the men are dangerous for me bc they encompass everything I am drawn to and with my moon/jupiter in scorpio and both mars and mercury square pluto I have a very plutonian energy about me and I actually feel inherently scorpio but they are always my downfall and I idealise and romanticise them and end up putting them on a pedestal.

Scorpio women... haven't met that many but the ones I have I haven't gotten along with.

Could anyone offer me a new perspective on which signs would be perhaps more understanding of me?

Please dont say it all matters on the chart bla bla I am talking about general personalities.

 

[katydid]

People with a lot of Cancer planest would form a nice big grand trine with your chart. And it would draw you out of your tight bundle.

 

[waterbaby12]

I like them as friends they can be so moody and selfish though at times..

 

[AppLeo]

Cancer, Pisces, or Capricorn.

Capricorn is grounding, while at the same time can be very understanding. This can help balance out your water and intensity.

 

[katydid]

You have Virgo/Libra in your 7th. So that might be a good option as well. Your chart is designed for a Virgo or Libra partner.

 

[AppLeo]

And you have Capricorn in your house of friendships (11th house).

Cappy for friends and Virgos for romance partners.

 

[waterbaby12]

Cancer, Pisces, or Capricorn.

Capricorn is grounding, while at the same time can be very understanding. This can help balance out your water and intensity.

I don't agree... they do not resonate with my scorpio side and don't understand my emotional response and reaction to things. as for virgo - yes a lot of virgo men are drawn to me but like I said lack the capacity for intense emotional relationships which I need to feel satisfied and fulfilled.

do you see my problem here?

on one hand I need a balance.. someone to ground me. On the other hand unless someone can feed my soul in terms of my moon and its needs I am not fulfilled :'(

perhaps a combination?

a capricorn sun and a scorpio moon??? thoughts?

 

[waterbaby12]

You have Virgo/Libra in your 7th. So that might be a good option as well. Your chart is designed for a Virgo or Libra partner.

could you perhaps elaborate further on designed for that? I don't really understand

 

[katydid]

could you perhaps elaborate further on designed for that? I don't really understand

The 7th house= House of marriage, close associates and associations, contracts and agreements. sign on the cusp of this house, and the planet which rules the house is of prime importance.

Your 7th has Virgo on the cusp, and Mercury, ruler is in Aquarius in 12th. So a mix of Virgo/Pisces/Aquarius energy can fulfill your 7th house needs.

Your chart was 'designed' for a Virgo/Libra type to fill in your house of relationships because that is what inhabits your 7th house. An earthy/artistic/creative handsome man who appreciates you and treats you with respect.

 

[katydid]

I know that you are heavily attracted to Scorpios. But it might be a difficult connection to keep going to. It might be just too much Scorpio between the 2 of you. I know, I know, you crave the Scorpio intensity, sexiness, passion etc.


But maybe it is time to try something new and different. Break out of the box. See how narrow and confined your chart pattern is>?

Expand your horizons and explore the 'empty' areas of your chart. That is where you will grow and progress personally and have more personal success.

If you keep going off with Scorpio men you will keep banging your head against the wall...

 

[sibylline]

Please dont say it all matters on the chart bla bla I am talking about general personalities.

Of course that's true. The whole chart creates the general personality, not just the Sun sign.

There is a big difference between a Pisces Sun with a healthy dose of fixed energy vs. one with a heap of mutable and cardinal, for example. That's not even getting into the details of the chart.

We share a Sun, Mercury, and Venus sign. I think you're a little too quick to dismiss Cancer. They would work well with your Pisces-Scorpio energy but not set off a lot of the hard, fixed aspects in your chart like a Scorpio Sun would. A lot of the way the Cancerian energy expresses will depend on their Moon sign and aspects, as well as the overall tenor of their chart. A Cancerian who is getting their needs met won't be very moody or at least not express this outwardly. Some can be clannish but all are very generous if you're in their "group". I'm in a relationship with a Cancer Sun/Pisces Moon/Scorpio Rising. Selfish is the last word I would use to describe him, and we're like hand and glove.

A number of combinations could produce the sort of person you're looking for. Even a Capricorn Sun could have a watery chart and be more in tune with you. What I wouldn't suggest is someone who lacks water, since you say you're looking for emotional depth and your chart would agree with that.

 

[HoldOrFold]

Hi...

A lot of my friends have been sagittarius and Libra -
...

Could anyone offer me a new perspective on which signs would be perhaps more understanding of me?

Please dont say it all matters on the chart bla bla I am talking about general personalities.

Looking at your chart, I'm curious as to why most of your friends have been Sagittarius and Libra. I'd say it points to other things in their chart, the common ground is between both those two signs is Scorpio, so there's a higher chance people with Sag/Libra suns having a Venus in Scopio for instance, since Venus is never more than one sign away from the Sun.

Maybe look at your friends charts and find the common pattern between what planets are in synastry with yours and you can build a better picture of what aspects are triggering compatibility.

This kind of illustrates why just using the Sun sign isn't enough. Looking at my friends, the synastry holding us together is often not based on their Sun. For instance, my Sun is in Aries, my best friend's Sun is in Cancer but he's got an Aries Moon which sits right on my Sun. Another example is that I tend to not get on with Taurus men, but another very good friend of mine is a Taurus with his Venus in Aries conjunct my Sun. My best female friend, Sun in Scorpio, has a bunch of planets in Scorpio aspecting my Moon and Venus in Pisces but her Sun sits right on my Saturn.

The thing that binds my whole friendship group together though is Scorpio, we've all got Scorpio placements. But you wouldn't know that by looking just looking at their Suns. So you could probably figure out the sign(s) you are most compatible with, but it might relate to a bunch of their other planets in this sign.

It might also be worth looking at your midpoints which represent the balancing factor between two planetary energies. With relationships, the Sun/Moon midpoint and Venus/Mars midpoint are particularly important since it represents harmonizing opposite energies in your chart. You might feel especially integrated with someone who's got a planet at 10 degrees of a cardinal sign (your Sun/Moon midpoint is at 10 degrees Capricorn) or 9 degrees of a mutable sign (your Venus/Mars is 9 degrees Pisces).

 

[waterbaby12]

I know that you are heavily attracted to Scorpios. But it might be a difficult connection to keep going to. It might be just too much Scorpio between the 2 of you. I know, I know, you crave the Scorpio intensity, sexiness, passion etc.


But maybe it is time to try something new and different. Break out of the box. See how narrow and confined your chart pattern is>?

Expand your horizons and explore the 'empty' areas of your chart. That is where you will grow and progress personally and have more personal success.

If you keep going off with Scorpio men you will keep banging your head against the wall...

waaa I know - I actually agree with you- I have love for virgos but I am hypersensitive to criticism so I hold back alot with them and am scared to be completely open....

 

[waterbaby12]

Of course that's true. The whole chart creates the general personality, not just the Sun sign.

There is a big difference between a Pisces Sun with a healthy dose of fixed energy vs. one with a heap of mutable and cardinal, for example. That's not even getting into the details of the chart.

We share a Sun, Mercury, and Venus sign. I think you're a little too quick to dismiss Cancer. They would work well with your Pisces-Scorpio energy but not set off a lot of the hard, fixed aspects in your chart like a Scorpio Sun would. A lot of the way the Cancerian energy expresses will depend on their Moon sign and aspects, as well as the overall tenor of their chart. A Cancerian who is getting their needs met won't be very moody or at least not express this outwardly. Some can be clannish but all are very generous if you're in their "group". I'm in a relationship with a Cancer Sun/Pisces Moon/Scorpio Rising. Selfish is the last word I would use to describe him, and we're like hand and glove.

A number of combinations could produce the sort of person you're looking for. Even a Capricorn Sun could have a watery chart and be more in tune with you. What I wouldn't suggest is someone who lacks water, since you say you're looking for emotional depth and your chart would agree with that.

I appreciate your insight.... no cancers have ever been drawn to me only a cancer moon guy whos sun was in scorpio but we were only 16/17 and he never gave off any of that plutonian energy..

I will try to be more open minded - I 100 percent agree with you on the water sign... I couldn't handle too much air for sure

 

[waterbaby12]

It might also be worth looking at your midpoints which represent the balancing factor between two planetary energies. With relationships, the Sun/Moon midpoint and Venus/Mars midpoint are particularly important since it represents harmonizing opposite energies in your chart. You might feel especially integrated with someone who's got a planet at 10 degrees of a cardinal sign (your Sun/Moon midpoint is at 10 degrees Capricorn) or 9 degrees of a mutable sign (your Venus/Mars is 9 degrees Pisces).

My sagittarius friends both have moon in aquarius and one has a venus scorpio and a pisces rising... maybe thats it..


My midheaven is also in sagittarius...

could you elaborate further on the midpoint please? looking at it how do i interpret it?

 

[HoldOrFold]

My sagittarius friends both have moon in aquarius and one has a venus scorpio and a pisces rising... maybe thats it..

My midheaven is also in sagittarius...

could you elaborate further on the midpoint please? looking at it how do i interpret it?

Have you tried doing a synastry chart with your friends? You can do that on astro.com if you have their charts, just select synastry chart in the extended chart selections and look at the aspects between your planets.

re:midpoints, it's the point in the middle between any two planets and represents the balancing between the two expressions of those planets. The most commonly used one is the Sun/Moon midpoint because those two planets represent two poles of our nature. The midpoint between them is a sensitive and key point of integration in the chart.

The point is only activated if a planet in your chart or someone else's conjuncts, squares or opposes that degree to a fairly tight orb. Transits can also have an effect.

Looking at midpoints can help you dig deeper into your chart to help you say figure out why you have a particularly strong connection with someone when there's no other overt factors seen in a synastry chart. It can also help find a point of synthesis/integration between two planets who aren't harmonizing well with eachother in your chart, another planet aspecting that midpoint might be the answer for that integration.

You may or may not find them useful, but it can be an extra layer to look at if you can't find what you're looking for.

 

[katydid]

waaa I know - I actually agree with you- I have love for virgos but I am hypersensitive to criticism so I hold back alot with them and am scared to be completely open....

Maybe what you really need is a big dose of healthy constructive criticism.

" We cant always get what we want, but we can get what we need..."


I'd say that a nice mix of Virgo/Cancer would be a good antidote for your blues.

 

[aquarius7000]

Of course that's true. The whole chart creates the general personality, not just the Sun sign. ...

...I think you're a little too quick to dismiss Cancer...

Good points Sibylline!

Cancerians - means those with Cancer Suns. Now whether they have any other planet/s in Cancer or not they will be called Cancerians, and to say they are not a good fit means that one is negating at least 6 personal planets and the aspects of the outer planets completely. That can't be good Astrology now, can it?

The only planetary energy one cannot get along with is the one that one is not proud of in oneself. For instance, if one is the jealous kind them self, the moment you see it in someone else, they mirror your own shortcoming, which is bound to irk you. Only very few will not be irked by the same down traits and these will be those that are mature enough to recognize such traits in them self and work on them.

 

[waybread]

Waterbaby, with all due respect, I think it's because you can be very rude to people, and you make incorrect judgements about what they are trying to tell you. This isn't about your chart so much as choosing to develop basic basic social skills. Although, I think your Pluto square Mars, Mercury, and Saturn in the 12th house have a hand in your feeling isolated, all kinds of "incompatible" people manage to get along on a friendly basis.