i need help resolving my south node conjunct sun

[jkley]

i believed that the south node is where you go when you're feeling insecure in your life... but if my sun is in aqua in the fifth conjuct my south node and i am trying to evolve to be an aquarius... but my north node is trying to make me an eleventh house leo... what!? please, explain the nature of this aspect and help resolve this contradiction...

 

[EJ53]

i believed that the south node is where you go when you're feeling insecure in your life... but if my sun is in aqua in the fifth conjuct my south node and i am trying to evolve to be an aquarius... but my north node is trying to make me an eleventh house leo... what!? please, explain the nature of this aspect and help resolve this contradiction...

Jeez, this is a difficult question to answer Jkley.

I have the nodes in Taurus/8 ans Scorpio/2, whilst your are Aquarius/5 and Leo/11 - so we share the "reverse sign/house" problem, but the working details differ.

As I understand this shared problem, we are trying in this lifetime to find a balanced approach to these opposites - alternating our focus upon their respective qualities/characteristics rather than trying to blend them. So, I actively pursue an interest in psychology (scorpio) and in gardening (taurus) - with the latter providing the relaxation needed after intensely working on the former. (Apparently, the theory is that we've already learned the lessons of the nodes in these signs/houses - but need to understand how each completes the other.)

And, whereas the sun conjunct South Node would normally draw you into activities that hinder your North Node development, it's not the case with this "reverse sign/house" problem. Here, it is merely a mechanism to make you focus on learning this karmic/node lesson in this lifetime.

EJ

 

[Nexus7]

I don't know about the philsophy of it all, but I have heard that Sun conjunct South Node is said to indicate that there may be little too much attachment to the ego or to feeling special in some ways - at the same time you can't very well not have an ego or any desire to shine, especially as your Sun rules the North Node!

What East and West do apparently agree on too is that the South Node shows innate abilities and gifts that should be shared with he world. At the same time, he native may have a lot of self-doubt in this area of life, no matter how developed these abilities are. But here there is detachment - the one keyowrd that could apply both to South node and Aquarius, where you do not feel over-identified - then, maybe you may find more inner contentment.

So maybe it is question of sharing these Aquarian gifts with the world, whatever they may be - the understanding of social interractions, dealing with groups, the intellectual strengths and possible charisma too coming from the Sun - the leaderships skills within the group too, then. It may then be a question of not allowing yourself to get overly identified or attached to whatever intellectual theories or ideas that may preoccupy you, or of getting too much of an ego trip in your abilities to shape a group or society. You may find yourself spurning some skills and areas of interest in favour of others where there is more of a sense of challenge and achievement in attaining these skills, thoug it could be that these can still only grow out of what may seem to be redundant skills at times.

Possibly there may be some self-consciousness about exprressing yourself or shyness too. I am not an expert on the nodes, so maybe you could elucidate beter on how you expereince this.

 

[jkley]

well, this might come as somewhat of a surprise but i am very reclusive and have difficulty dealing with groups of people. actually, i am really doe-footed about revealing anything about myself let alone share my creative endevours... i also have panic attacks around people that i do not know very well... so, that makes it pretty hard for me to shine at all... i think the sun's need to shine and my ego is really on the back burner... although, it is true i feel special that specialness is all i have to keep me balanced through the loss as i see it of my sense of personallity everytime i come into contact with people. it's really quite sad and something i have been fighting against my whole life, at least since adolesence. why do i have to feel so displaced everytime i come in to contact with people... why does my heart react the way it does when in actuallity i crave companionship and people around me. i long for attention and admiration but cannot bare to have it as the lime-light is too painful. i withdrawl into aloofness and introversion unless i have been drinking. (imay be talking about my sun sesquisquare my moon or my venus square saturn though as well) i think it all plays out to make me feel overly vulnerable and alienated disproportionatly in the face of what are actually very creative and alive people... who i come into contact with.

 

[Nexus7]

Thanks for getting back to me on this one, jkly, recently I came across someone on a forum who also had Aquarius South Node, but this time with Sun on the North Node: she also confessed to being painfully shy about expressing herself, and being reclusive.

As said, I keep hearing that the South Node is supposed to denote ease of expression wherever it is placed - too much ease in fact, but what you say seems to bear out more the idea that it may be connected more to do with fears: much like Saturn. I would imagine that nodes in Aquarius would not in themselves be enough to a social phobe create - where are Saturn and Neptune in your chart, for example and what aspects are thy making?

 

[jkley]

here's my natal chart if you'd like to take a look and point out what may be the aspects creating the problem... also it would be of great help if you could point out what aspects or configurations might be of help to escape from my social phobia... this is one of been working on for a long time.

~jkley

 

[hermetic]

jkley, my brother has this Aqua Sun SN conj, opposing NN at Regulus. He is far from shy, but his Sun is on MC, so he feels comfortable there.
But overall I'd say sun conj SN may have an inhibiting efefct on developing your NN, which is what you're meant to develop after all...
and since NN in Leo would suggest one thing while NN in 11th completely opposite; perhaps in the big picture it would mean there isn't much of a difficulty developing NN, since they are so conveniently in the reverse signs, as EJ said well this switch of houses might suggest more accent on nodes issue, but easier to get a hold on.

 

[Nexus7]

Well, the overall shape of your chart might incline you to be focused more on your inner world and your own concerns rather than with the big bad world Outside: it is a bowl-shaped chart, with everything below the horizon - here, if you want to follow the traditional wisdom, the NN would be there to drag you kicking and screaming into this larger world of Career, Others, and the rest, asserting yourself and making your mark there.

The Moon on the Asc in modest and timid Virgo suggests a good deal of sensitivity to the atmosphere and the vibes around you and any sense of being disapproved of could see you scuttling into your shell. Virgo can be an anxious sign anyway and with the Moon there, it might mean that it is issues to do with separation that could trigger this?

On the other hand, there is a rather outspoken Mercury-Mars conjunction in Aquarius too, suggesting that you may be concerned about negative reactions to comments made without thinking. This, with the Virgo rising, indicates to me that you may have a pretty tart way with your observations, but then be a little freaked out by the reactions you may get to these.

I also see that Venus is on your Saturn-Pluto midpoint too. In expressing your feelings towards other people, this could be a little inhibitve too.

What was school/late adolescence like?

 

[jkley]

in late adolesence i didn't have trouble with panic attacks. i was a little shy at times but it vacillated. i was really having a difficult time with my mother whom i thought by every word and facial expression hated me. i actually dropped out of school as my perspectives shifted and i was very depressed and disassocated from myself... i think this was the on set of my problems.

i began feeling less than par as an individual around htis time as well... like i wasn't good enough for people around me. not smart enough, funny enough... etc... i started looking in the mirror and not recognizing myself and i felt strange in my body like i wasn't a woman but an alien of sorts. this would have been right as transiting neptune was appraching my sun-south node conjunction for the first time. and t-saturn was on my chiron...

these days i have a perfectly functunal relationship with my mother and am less sensitive to her facial expressions and tone of voice. but i have a hard time coping when the tables-turn and she talks about me as a developing indivdual. she is a virgo and is some what overly picky and anylitical.
i also feel comfortable in my own body and like a woman instead of so seperated from it. the panic attacks usually come when a woman approaches me, but it's not as bad around men.

 

[Nexus7]

Feelinglike an alien does sound a litle more like the more troubling side of Aquarius. Neptune can have a way of undermining boundaries and I suspect that its transits to the Sun are often not a picnic for a lot of people. I asked about adolescence because that is the time when peers and therefore our place in the pecking order of the group get to matter most.

However, I did wonder whether these panic atacks might not have something to do with the Moon and no doubt you know that this can be a primary significator for the mother as well as the 'female' polarity in everyone. And you say that these panic attacks happen around other women and being comfortable with yourself as a woman. My PC is playing up at the moment so I don't feel like trying to look at your chart again and have more PC grief there, but I do know that transitting Saturn is passing through Virgo, not sure when it will cross your Ascendant and Moon. That suggest to me that the tensions between yorself and your mother may be magnified by this, but that there is also the opportunity to get things resolved there on a more adult-to-adult basis too. Saturn transits to Moon and Ascendant are not usually exactly a picnic either, but there is also ther opportunity to become a good deal stronger emotionally if the real issues are truly confronted head on.

I have no doubt you are able to get on with her on a perfectly functional level now, but there couls still be deeper emotional issues there underneath.

 

[pickupthephone]

No , not resolve it, learn to use it, manifest it. "It"? Well the solar self-sun, in solar house 5, NN points to solar sign leo! Find your true self and learn to bring your self to the 11 house group.
Pluto square to venus suggest a deep fear of the feminine, but is is only an outward projection at the other (7 House) perferct idealized women (pisces ruled). Chiron in taurus may indicate wounding to the venus function.
Give up the perfectionism of the virgo ascendent and learn your own natural rhythyms and then bring it to the world, possibly via an income producing job or craftas there is a good bit of artisric and technical ability or even crisis counselor.
justmy 2 cents

 

[Looking to Jupiter]

well, this might come as somewhat of a surprise but i am very reclusive and have difficulty dealing with groups of people. actually, i am really doe-footed about revealing anything about myself let alone share my creative endevours... i also have panic attacks around people that i do not know very well... so, that makes it pretty hard for me to shine at all... i think the sun's need to shine and my ego is really on the back burner... although, it is true i feel special that specialness is all i have to keep me balanced through the loss as i see it of my sense of personallity everytime i come into contact with people. it's really quite sad and something i have been fighting against my whole life, at least since adolesence. why do i have to feel so displaced everytime i come in to contact with people... why does my heart react the way it does when in actuallity i crave companionship and people around me. i long for attention and admiration but cannot bare to have it as the lime-light is too painful. i withdrawl into aloofness and introversion unless i have been drinking. (imay be talking about my sun sesquisquare my moon or my venus square saturn though as well) i think it all plays out to make me feel overly vulnerable and alienated disproportionatly in the face of what are actually very creative and alive people... who i come into contact with.

i could have written that myself.....contrary to what goes on for me online....esp that last line

 

[jkley]

it would be interesting to look at your chart... in your picture it looks as though you have dread locks... i too have dreads. funny.

 

[Looking to Jupiter]

not my pic, but yeh i have dreads too.....strange....my chart isnt that exciting and i cant see much similar to your own chart....
jan 13 1975, 7;16am frankston australia....

I do have my north node in the 11th too though....

 

[jkley]

well venus in aqua might play out a little like saturn-venus...especially in the first house and your moon and sun are in the twelfth aspected hard by saturn. ...and you have the moon and ac conjunct... perhaps indicating emotional self-consciousness...that's like me.

how does your uranus play out in scorpio in the tenth? what do you do? i'm curious.

i don't have any hard aspects to my inner planets by uranus and you have it hard with merc venus and moon... i wonder how htat plays out. i feel electric when i become nervous so i'm surprised that i have no aspects to uranus.

 

[Looking to Jupiter]

how does your uranus play out in scorpio in the tenth? what do you do? i'm curious.

well its the merc sq with uranus that I think actually prevents me from really doing anything worthy(career wise)....im too flitty and only have flashes of inspiration.....I have dabbled in occult subjects for a long time, and I am a jill of heaps of trades but master yet of none.....i kind of feel with a strong emphasis with saturn in my chart it will be my older years that i do something with the info i have been collecting for years......deep down I have always wanted to make electronic music....but I am a mum at the moment, so that'll have to wait.....

I love your dreads.....your pic has made me feel a bit strange about myself again for some reason....

 

[jkley]

i just wanted to say thank you to all who posted a reply on here... i appreciate your thoughts on the issue.

~jkley

 

[Moulin]

wow, what an interesting thread

I am also intrigued as my boyfriend's sun/moon midpoint is exact conjunct my SN

his midpoint is in his 11th H and my SN is in my 2nd.

His SN is conjunct my AC.

 

[jkley]

well, that's an excellent indication of a strong and lasting, expansive relationship... one that is highly comfortable.