I mean is it possible that I might marry someone who has money?

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ChildOfVenus

Well-known member
Maybe I'm just not marriage material I mean having this Venus/Uranus aspect. I don't think I'd like being married as it would become routine. I don't want to be alone though I mean I would like to have a guy friend at least. Someone I can spend time with when I feel lonely or want some company. But people tell me that it doesn't happen this way. That most men won't allow this to happen.
Would you believe me if I told you I have a private investigator?
 

Jadi

Well-known member
Maybe I'm just not marriage material I mean having this Venus/Uranus aspect. I don't think I'd like being married as it would become routine. I don't want to be alone though I mean I would like to have a guy friend at least. Someone I can spend time with when I feel lonely or want some company. But people tell me that it doesn't happen this way. That most men won't allow this to happen.
I get that and there's nothing wrong with that desire, but why do you tend to grow a grudge when they start to look for actual stability and even call that cheating? That sounds like you're contradicting yourself in your expectations.
 

ChildOfVenus

Well-known member
I don't think them wanting stability is cheating but even if they want stability doesn't mean they won't cheat.
I get that and there's nothing wrong with that desire, but why do you tend to grow a grudge when they start to look for actual stability and even call that cheating? That sounds like you're contradicting yourself in your expectations.
 

ashriia

Well-known member
ChildOfVenus, I think if you want to find a sugar daddy you certainly can and as you mentioned there are dating sites that make it easy for that kind of arrangement. People are going to judge you based on that, because it goes against the way most operate also you can expect people to lose respect for you for it. That's a given.

But I hope you are aware just as you would be using a man for his money -and agree to a sugar daddy relationship, he will also be using you for sex, and keeping up your looks. This is usually not a long standing relationship either.

If you get involved in an arrangement like that, Please don't have kids!!

I had a childhood friend, who had a mother who had several sugar daddies during the time we were friends. They put her up in a luxury apartment, paid all her bills, bought her clothes, bought her cars, bought my friend lots stuff that was popular at the time. However, these guys were creeps!! A man that will use you in this way will have a very low opinion of you also, and will think nothing of abusing you or raping you either. Just trying to make you aware of the reality of that arrangement if you choose to pursue it.


That's not a dream there are so many women who talk about having a Sugar Daddy. There are even sites for this kind of dating. And I know some old woman who even had one but he died.
 

katydid

Staff member
Child of Venus,

i feel kind of bad that some are giving you such a hard time because I feel you are simply a product of your immediate environment. You are living what you know. If your Mother truly models this behavior and belief, and espouses this faulty advice, then it makes sense that your Venus in Pisces is going to soak it in and accept it. :sad:

I feel that you can break this cycle, but you will have to finish your studies, begin your career, and carve out an independent life to fully do so.

With your Venus in Pisces, and beneficial 8th house, you may find someone who loves and adore you, and you will learn to trust them and feel confident in their love. And that is a greater wealth than any financial wealth. :innocent:

Please do not think that your Mom's experiences with marriage are representative of ALL marriages. They are simply not. I have been married for 36 years, and I don't think my husband ever cheated on me. My son has never cheated on his wife. My daughters boyfriend has never cheated on her , although her last boyfriend did so. But she chose more wisely this time around. :cool:

Trust me when I say---shopping for a Sugar Daddy is not the answer. :pouty:
 

ChildOfVenus

Well-known member
Thank you for understanding I don't think having a Sugar Daddy is the answer either. I start my studies for Dental Assistant in April and I'll be finished in July. I would be able to move out then but I really don't want to live alone to be honest. It would be nice if I were to find a man who really cares and loves me. Yet It's possible that I may get tired of the relationship especially when things become routine. That's what happened with my last relationship. I was with the guy for 9 years he started talking about marriage and having a family.
Child of Venus,

i feel kind of bad that some are giving you such a hard time because I feel you are simply a product of your immediate environment. You are living what you know. If your Mother truly models this behavior and belief, and espouses this faulty advice, then it makes sense that your Venus in Pisces is going to soak it in and accept it. :sad:

I feel that you can break this cycle, but you will have to finish your studies, begin your career, and carve out an independent life to fully do so.

With your Venus in Pisces, and beneficial 8th house, you may find someone who loves and adore you, and you will learn to trust them and feel confident in their love. And that is a greater wealth than any financial wealth. :innocent:

Please do not think that your Mom's experiences with marriage are representative of ALL marriages. They are simply not. I have been married for 36 years, and I don't think my husband ever cheated on me. My son has never cheated on his wife. My daughters boyfriend has never cheated on her , although her last boyfriend did so. But she chose more wisely this time around. :cool:

Trust me when I say---shopping for a Sugar Daddy is not the answer. :pouty:
 

Jadi

Well-known member
Thank you for understanding I don't think having a Sugar Daddy is the answer either. I start my studies for Dental Assistant in April and I'll be finished in July. I would be able to move out then but I really don't want to live alone to be honest. It would be nice if I were to find a man who really cares and loves me. Yet It's possible that I may get tired of the relationship especially when things become routine. That's what happened with my last relationship. I was with the guy for 9 years he started talking about marriage and having a family.
Wow, 9 years? That's beyond routine imo. Sounds like you freak out at the idea of commitment but have no problem keeping a long-term relationship going.
 

Osamenor

Administrator
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catowm

Member
I think the problem is about values.

My Grandfather, uncles and father have been unfaithful, machist, violent and they say horrible things to their wife. I had a lot of traumas because of them.
Women in my family say to me that I have to marry with a rich man, it doesn't matter if the man is unfaithful, disgusting or try to rape you, it's normal. I hated men and weak woman who think like that.

I met some people who helped me and today I see the world different I know that exists bad men but also I know men who would give their life for her wife and children. Actually I don't hate men, I only feel sorry for people who don't have affection to others, values or culture because they never will be happy.

Maybe you are really damaged by your family but I think that you can be happy if you try healing your heart, soul and mind far away from your family.

If you marry with a sugar daddy or a rich man without love you will be very miserable because he will treat you like an sexual object and you will be unhappy like your mother with the different that you will live with luxury.
 
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waybread

Staff member
I have to agree with Oddity. C of V, you don't seem to trust or even like men as a species. That isn't a solid basis for a relationship.

Moreover, men who do not cheat would find your attitude offensive.

But suppose you were married to a man who did cheat? If he still wanted to stay married to you, would you go to marriage counseling and try to get past it?

Can you imagine staying married to a man you didn't love? You'd have to be a really good actress to fake love to him. Otherwise, why would he marry you?

Frankly, most of us are flawed human beings. You might find a husband who doesn't cheat, but who drinks too much. Or who is too busy building up his business to spend time with you. You might have personality issues that would drive an ordinary man running for the hills.

Marriages work when flawed human beings commit to making them work.

Then please think of what you would bring to the table in any committed relationship: suspicion or trust? Would you be in it for him or for your partnership, or just in it for yourself?

I say this as a senior who has been married (2x) for a total of 40 years. I am surrounded by seniors who, looking back, have gone through divorce, remarriage or not, and milestone anniversary celebrations.

Long-term marriage is based on a deep sense of companionship. Your husband should be your best friend. I don't know how you can fake that.

I'm not saying that a poor or lower middle-income woman couldn't marry a rich man. But statistically the odds are seriously against you.
 
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ChildOfVenus

Well-known member
The odds are against me? Just because of what statistics say? Well if that were the case I don't think there would be a lot of older/younger relationships. There was this old man who tried talking to me when I was on a trip. He wanted me to move to his state and kept insisting that my new life would be where he is. He was telling me all about how he didn't have any children. I could tell he was very business oriented. He gave me his information and told me when I was ready to move there. That I could give him a call and he would help me look for apartments etc. Now all this happened and I barely said anything to this man I was in Starbucks and he sat beside me. When I went to walk away he told me not to leave. So this is why I'm saying it's not always based on statistics. I don't hate men I just know what they are all about. No I would not stay with the man if he cheated on me just so he can do it again? No way.
I have to agree with Oddity. C of V, you don't seem to trust or even like men as a species. That isn't a solid basis for a relationship.

Moreover, men who do not cheat would find your attitude offensive.

But suppose you were married to a man who did cheat? If he still wanted to stay married to you, would you go to marriage counseling and try to get past it?

Can you imagine staying married to a man you didn't love? You'd have to be a really good actress to fake love to him. Otherwise, why would he marry you?

Frankly, most of us are flawed human beings. You might find a husband who doesn't cheat, but who drinks too much. Or who is too busy building up his business to spend time with you. You might have personality issues that would drive an ordinary man running for the hills.

Marriages work when flawed human beings commit to making them work.

Then please think of what you would bring to the table in any committed relationship: suspicion or trust? Would you be in it for him or for your partnership, or just in it for yourself?

I say this as a senior who has been married (2x) for a total of 40 years. I am surrounded by seniors who, looking back, have gone through divorce, remarriage or not, and milestone anniversary celebrations.

Long-term marriage is based on a deep sense of companionship. Your husband should be your best friend. I don't know how you can fake that.

I'm not saying that a poor or lower middle-income woman couldn't marry a rich man. But statistically the odds are seriously against you.
 

waybread

Staff member
"Candy, little girl?"

For Pete's sake, Child of Venus. Thank your lucky stars you didn't take this man up on his offer. You have no idea who he was. You are old enough to know that there are serious creeps out there who masquerade as respectable men. They also do this on the Internet. Anybody can post someone else's handsome picture and lie to susceptible women. Sometimes they're only after her credit card. At best this man might have hoped for a quickie with a vulnerable girl in a strange city.

But this is getting "curiouser and curiouser." You want a rich husband. You wouldn't love him. You expect him to cheat. Once he does, you leave him. Then you're out on the sidewalk..... doing what? Trying to catch rich man #2 so you can do this all over again?

Are you familiar with pre-nuptual financial agreements, financial separation agreements, and divorce laws? Any man smart enough to make or keep a lot of money would probably be smart enough not to let you walk out on him with bags of his cash.

Wouldn't it just be simpler for you to work towards a well-paying career of your own?

You may know about some men, but apparently not the many good ones whom I've been privileged to call friends, co-workers, or family.

And many younger women-older men relationships are not about the money. My husband is 9.5 years older than me. When we started our relationship, I earned slightly more than he did. Sometimes people fall in love, actually.
 
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catowm

Member
If you find a rich man really ugly and disgusting and you don't feel love or sexual desire for him.. How will you be able to have sex with him?. If he is a sugar daddy and he don't have erections, what will you do? I read some post of you and I think you are very sexual.

oh god! your posts have a lot of replies.
 

ChildOfVenus

Well-known member
And you think I don't know all of this already? Did I say I was interested in the man? I had no interests in this man what so ever I thought it was strange how he talked to me about his personal life and didn't even know me. You think I don't know there are a lot of creeps in the world? That people can pretend? All of this stuff you are saying I already know about. No I would not be out on the sidewalk looking for another rich man. As I've said before I won't rely on any man to take care of me. Just because I said I'd want to marry a rich man doesn't mean I wouldn't have my own that I wouldn't work. Yeah I'm sure you probably think I would depend on the rich guy to take care of me right?

Yes I know what a pre-nuptual agreement is I don't know why you assume I don't know anything. And what's the point of you calling me a little girl? I mean it's insane that you don't think I know all the things you are talking about.
"Candy, little girl?"

For Pete's sake, Child of Venus. Thank your lucky stars you didn't take this man up on his offer. You have no idea who he was. You are old enough to know that there are serious creeps out there who masquerade as respectable men. They also do this on the Internet. Anybody can post someone else's handsome picture and lie to susceptible women. Sometimes they're only after her credit card. At best this man might have hoped for a quickie with a vulnerable girl in a strange city.

But this is getting "curiouser and curiouser." You want a rich husband. You wouldn't love him. You expect him to cheat. Once he does, you leave him. Then you're out on the sidewalk..... doing what? Trying to catch rich man #2 so you can do this all over again?

Are you familiar with pre-nuptual financial agreements, financial separation agreements, and divorce laws? Any man smart enough to make or keep a lot of money would probably be smart enough not to let you walk out on him with bags of his cash.

Wouldn't it just be simpler for you to work towards a well-paying career of your own?

You may know about some men, but apparently not the many good ones whom I've been privileged to call friends, co-workers, or family.

And many younger women-older men relationships are not about the money. My husband is 9.5 years older than me. When we started our relationship, I earned slightly more than he did. Sometimes people fall in love, actually.
 
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ChildOfVenus

Well-known member
I just wouldn't have sex with the man. If he can't get an erection then he wouldn't be able to do anything anyway.
If you find a rich man really ugly and disgusting and you don't feel love or sexual desire for him.. How will you be able to have sex with him?. If he is a sugar daddy and he don't have erections, what will you do? I read some post of you and I think you are very sexual.

oh god! your posts have a lot of replies.
 
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