I hate my father so much ....

Alitta the Archer

Well-known member
You know that type of hatred where you wish them death ??
My father is the most selfish jerk I've ever met . He treats my mother like garbage, my mother who still love him despite everything he has done. He stole her money, cheated on her so many times and keeps badmouthing her behind her back. He also try to avoid his finacial responsibilities towards me and my sisters, leaving everything on my Mom's shoulders.
He's a horrible person in every way. He's like dark cloud looming over our lives and I want it gone, forever.
I clash with him a lot because unlike my sisters, I'm brutally blunt. He has very violent temper and he won't hesitate to hit me. I hate him so much, I wish if he would just disappear .
Because of him, I've developed an opposite-gender complex. He made me hate men and fear any sort of commitment to them. I never want to get married,I never wish to experience what my Mom is going through. She's suffering from both Diabetics and High blood pressure,all because of that prick.
Is there anything in my birthchart that indicate my storming relationship with my so-ever-loving father ?? When will I overcome it ? how do I do it ?

I'm bearly 18, I'm still dependant on him financially because of college and my Mom refuses to divorce him, she's a devoted Muslim.
Had any of you exprience this ?
My birth Chart and My father's are right below, thanks in advance.

PS : I don't know my father's birth time so I used the " Unknown" option.
 

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aquarius7000

Well-known member
Hi,

I don't want to act preachy/teachy here, but you literally ask for it in your post.:) That shows you are open to learning, and it is good to be that way at the age of 18, especially. Hence, I certainly hope you will learn that just like your father is not like other men (of better character), most certainly not every man is like your father.

Very briefly, first to some astrology before I brag generalities, in your natal chart, with Mars (violence/agression), Neptune (skeletons in the closet/emotional disillusionment) and Uranus (instability and unrest) in the 4th house (home/family), the situation you describe can be seen in your chart. Ruler of the 4th house, Jupiter, is in the sign of Scorpio, which, like all other zodiac signs, also has its downsides, some of them being violence even to the extent of destruction/hurting others to have one's own way (with Sco nothing is just on the surface, even the strengths go deep). With both Sat and the Sun, which are both strong signwise and hence have that extra power to act, being in a square and conjunction to Pluto and Mars respectively, we get an indication of a difficult father, the other factor being Mars (in a fire sign) on the IC. Whilst very few of us can begin to even imagine the real intensity of your plight, please know that many people that act the way your father does, have a history of a difficult childhood or some early emotional trauma. No, that is not excuse enough to act the way he is, and good sense should prevail, at least with us adults. However, hatred is not the best policy (it is also a silent form of violence), and never gets one very far. It is just an emotion that gives one the internal satisfaction of silent revenge, but harms oneself more than the person it is directed against. This you can take my word for it. It is already harming you in your disillusionment towards other men. So much so that you are ready to make lifelong decisions, such as not every wanting to marry. Do you really want hatred to be the motivation when it comes to making such important decisions?

Also, if you don't watch it, such strong negative emotions may even affect your physical health (nervous system/blood circulation/stiffness of joints/bones), with Saturn sitting in your 6th house, as Lord of your 6th house. Saturn likes to punish us, if we don't check ourselves/our deeds (karma) in time. That is why it is called the planet of karma. One of the lessons of Saturn, as the Lord of time, is that it is for time to punish one for one's bad karma (also to reward one for good karma), not for one human being to punish the other. And, your father is not completely responsible for it. I understand your plight and helplessness, but you are also an adult and good sense should also prevail over you. I would say, direct your energies, instead of against your father, towards making your career because you have the makings for a good career.

You have a sharp mind with ruler of the 3rd house, Mars, in mutual reception to its own ruler in the chart, Jupiter. Ruler of the 9th, Venus, is in the sign of higher learning, Sagittarius, and in conjunction to Mer (the planet of learning). You might either travel somewhat later, or even go overseas, or may learn foreign languages (Ven conj Mer, both in Sag). You can make a great career.

Btw, you at least have a connection to your dad in that you at least communicate with him (even if just to stand up to him). Maybe you have already tried, but sometimes, with such people, compassion and even letting them know that you need them (feeling of being needed can do wonders) gets the best out of them. If you, being sensible of the two, were to try a different style of communication and let your dad know (without losing your cool, even if at first he should deny) that he is needed and loved by the family, that the family misses him when he is not there, and that the family members should forgive eachother; this might help gradually. If it doesn't, then leaving him alone will help (more than hating him) for the sake of peace, and directing your energies towards the rest of your family and your ownself, in a positive way. I know this is easier said than done, but nowhere near to impossible, and most certainly worth trying. When you feel that hatred/anger taking over you, go out for a jog. With all that fire in your chart through Sag, sports/outdoor physical activity (Mars in Sag) is certainly the best way to release negative emotions and tension.

Best
:)AQ7

PS: If nothing helps, there should be govt. organisations of violence against women in your country that you can report to.
 

Alitta the Archer

Well-known member
Thanks a lot for your insight, Aquarius7000. It helped a lot.
I've been through a lot lately and I feel somehow strangled with all the family issues I'm experiencing. I'm going off to University in few weeks and I hope that will give the distance and the time I need to cool off and think. Then, maybe I can talk it through with him, although I don't want to be too hopeful.

Now come to think of it, my father's family is very messed up unlike my Mom's. He started working part-time at the age of 14 to support his family. He has three sisters and three brothers and they all hate each other, they can't even stand one another. They fight over everything ; money mostly, heritage, the lands my Grandpa left, the house. They are all similar in a way. they lack the warmth and the compassion that's usually found between family members.

By the way, I'm going off to studying English literature and creative writing. I hope things go well in the near future.
 

aquarius7000

Well-known member
Hi,

....Now come to think of it, my father's family is very messed up unlike my Mom's. He started working part-time at the age of 14 to support his family. He has three sisters and three....they lack the warmth and the compassion that's usually found between family members.
Sometimes, we have to experience love to give love. Your father doesn't seem to have experiened that emotion much, or the joy of sharing. His Moon in Cap also makes it hard for him to show any affection. This does not mean he doesn't have any, but the problem may be he does not know how to express it. May be, patiently, you will have to teach him that by giving it (love) to him yourself. But you will need to be patient, don't expect changes overnight.

By the way, I'm going off to studying English literature and creative writing. I hope things go well in the near future.
Excellent choice. Languages are your forte. Keep at them, you will do well.

:)Good luck
:)AQ7
 

Alitta the Archer

Well-known member
Yes it's very true, I have to admit it. I was also taught by my Mom that we cannot love others unless we learn to love and appreciate ourselves. she told me that to love and forgive are not easy but hatred is never the answer. That's why your words reminded me of my mother's.
I still can't shake off the feeling that she's too good for my father, she didn't deserve any of this. She deserves way much better than him.
Life is so unfair :sad:
Ps : Thanks for the encouragement, I really appreciate it :)
 
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retinoid

Well-known member
I know the hatred you feel. I felt such for my father and step dad throughout my lives (step dad was most oppressing and eventually I found out years later out that he molested my sister) my dad was the most scarring person I have ever met. I even went as far as praying to trying to entice various vodou deities to have my step dad die because he was so mean while I was in middle school. Would have probably asked the devil if he would do it I was that desperate and felt so trapped.

In any case your chart (the sun signifies the dad) is very destructive to you, squaring your asc., opposing your MC. You also have a lot of deep wounds in the way that you express yourself in some manner...idk if that makes sense.

My advice is to eventually leave your dad all together. You need to work on forgiving him because your mind is attached to all the anger and bitterness from the past and it will begin to affect your future (if it hasn't already)...
 

JUPITERASC

Well-known member
Yes it's very true, I have to admit it. I was also taught by my Mom that we cannot love others unless we learn to love and appreciate ourselves. she told me that to love and forgive are not easy but hatred is never the answer. That's why your words reminded me of my mother's...

Ps : Thanks for the encouragement, I really appreciate it
:)
Your mother's comment "to love and forgive are not easy but hatred is never the answer" are so sensible Alitta the Archer!! :smile:
....work on forgiving him because your mind is attached to all the anger and bitterness from the past and it will begin to affect your future (if it hasn't already)...
That's such an important factor!
 

retinoid

Well-known member
Remember Alitta- your feelings are purely based on the past. Your mind is an unreliable container of the 'past'. In your instance, you need to learn to move away from the mind aka past or your future will be jeopardized.
 

Peregrine_Moon

Well-known member
Your mother's comment "to love and forgive are not easy but hatred is never the answer" are so sensible Alitta the Archer!! :smile:

I agree. Hatred is never productive. It roots us as deeply as love in the problem, the relationship and the other person. The opposite of love is apathy.

Saturn in your 6th house, squared by Pluto is a significant warning! Let go of your anger, which is only a mask for fear and grief over losses felt and anticipated, and take hold of your life, live it positively in every respect. You can have great success with your chart. Some things will be difficult for you. You may feel tempted to express the anger and combativeness you've experienced, but that will be your downfall if you do.

Meditate. Find a practice that will bring peace to your heart and soul. You will grow up and you can break the cycle of violence in living differently.
 

retinoid

Well-known member
Meditate. Find a practice that will bring peace to your heart and soul. You will grow up and you can break the cycle of violence in living differently.

Yes you have to search for something, but you cannot get rid of the 'pain body' through your conscious mind. It will be a journey and many steps and definitely you will need to have the desire to get it done.
 

Alitta the Archer

Well-known member
Thank you everyone for being understanding and supportive. Those heart-felt pieces of advice mean a lot to me. I really needed a listening ear.
I want to thank you Retinoid specially and I'm truly sorry for what happened to your sister, I hope she's doing fine :)
 
K

Katydidit

Since I am not commenting on intense brutality, I'm not sure this will help you now or later, but I thought I'd share.

Somewhere during my aging I realized that my father was the only one strong enough to hold me in check when I was preparing to spin -- out of control.

Looking back, I would have asked for the discipline.
 

Senator

Active member
Hi Alitta....

I just want to tell you that:

In your father chart... He has 6 out of 7 traditional planets in their signs of detriment and fall, and Uranus too is said to be detriment in Leo.
A horrible chart...

Listen... What you are saying about you having a complex with others because of your father is not true... You are stronger than that.. And the mutability in your chart will not allow that.

Listen to Aquarius 7000 and your friends here... You are smart, and we are your friends.

I noticed that in your chart, All is below the horizon... You should learn how to be more extrovert,,, And I don't want to here the word "HATRED" again.

Forgive him and forgive yourself and your mother... All will be alright.
 
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