Thank you all for your input.
(please approach this insert with an open-mind, if however you
can't then don't read further, as the following information may be explicit, somewhat - thank you)
I should begin by saying that since i became more aware and mindful of everything going on *up there* i've noticed the most subtle effects of almost every planets transit. They play out in the most realistic ways with other people aswell, for instance, if you look at the chart now, you'll see that Venus has already passed my Natal Mars by 2-3 degrees, well, at that point, venus was also sextiling Mars (i don't know what was happening in reality, too much information to absorb) but the day that the Venus-Mars conjunction was fixed 20*-20* my sister (who has her Venus in Pisces/12th) gave me some really helpful advice about my sexuality and about my relationships in general, but i had to call her, i had to ask to hear that information, and more importantly, i had to experience what i did in order to call in the first place. The reason i called her is because i had a gay experience, i called to tell her that i didn't
become hard and therefore "it's obvious i'm not gay right??" (no, i didn't know if i was or not) she explained that it's obvious i'm really searching all my resources for new information about myself, that clearly i took the next step - unafraid - and obviously must now continue on to ask myself why none of my relationships with women work.
There is a girl living accross the passage from me, we work at the same place and therefor live in the same quarters aswell. I tried to connect with her, and successfully so in the begining aswell, she was really nice with me and i was accomodating aswell, but because i am who i am, i tried to take it a step further by being open and honest (remembering that this was my downfall in my last relationship 2 1/2 years, conincidentaly while my moon was progressing through 12th in pisces) and of course it made the wrong impact, now she avoids me like the plague. I want to tell her that i realise my feelings have created an akward aire between us (which i have just gotten up to initiate right now 21:14... wow, my heart was racing, took balls. surprisingly it went well). She's an aquarian, with moon in virgo, asc in leo). As much as i really want to find someone again, i know i have to fix what issues i have with myself, obviously they are playing out on people who may be potential partners, but aren't at this stage anything but collegues or aquaintences, i also want to learn how to be friends with women.. i've always seen them as sex, "oh, i'm with a girl, obviously we have to do things that boys and girls do - which is ridiculous actually, i need to learn to keep my dick in my pants"
Is this saturn or venus? i really have no idea anymore, i feel like alice in wonder land, people are seeming alot more real and genuine lately, but i still seem to have insecurities that are hard to shake off..
Anyway, i'm really just trying to understand women and how to treat them, i have really good intentions and of course i need to realise when NOT to step over the line, and even if i step over the line, how to quickly step back over and quickly rectify it so they know i know where the line is and that i'm not a psycho.. man.. it's so hard learning how to be with people.. everyone's got different humor, everyone's got different approach to conversation.

I just wanna do it right ya' know?