Help me understand my daughter

[Aqualibra]

My 16 year old daughter is uruly, confrontational, defiant and extremely emotional. She has even started having fits of crying episodes and will not allow me to console her. She scream at me to leave her alone. When she does calm down she will sometimes explain some social issue she is having with friends but it's disturbing to me that she would become so emotional over a fight with friends. In the midst of her meltdowns, she cusses at me, slams doors, throws things and wails very very loudly. Sometimes she can continue for over an hour. She's done this several times now and I'm concerned to the point of reaching out for professional help but she gets upset about this and says I think she's crazy.


Can anyone see this in her chart and if so, do you see a way out of this or is this just the way she will always be?

 

[Moog]

How long has this been going on?

 

[sethi]

My 16 year old daughter is uruly, confrontational, defiant and extremely emotional. She has even started having fits of crying episodes and will not allow me to console her. She scream at me to leave her alone. When she does calm down she will sometimes explain some social issue she is having with friends but it's disturbing to me that she would become so emotional over a fight with friends. In the midst of her meltdowns, she cusses at me, slams doors, throws things and wails very very loudly. Sometimes she can continue for over an hour. She's done this several times now and I'm concerned to the point of reaching out for professional help but she gets upset about this and says I think she's crazy.


Can anyone see this in her chart and if so, do you see a way out of this or is this just the way she will always be?

hello

She will grow out of this situation. Please be patient with her.

The time period is around 18-24 months and after this time she will settle down.

 

[Aqualibra]

How long has this been going on?

She's alway been a dramatic child but these crying fits just started about 3 months ago and she's done it at least once each month.

 

[Aqualibra]

hello

She will grow out of this situation. Please be patient with her.

The time period is around 18-24 months and after this time she will settle down.

Do you say this based off of her chart or the fact that she's in her teen years and will soon be an adult?

 

[wilsontc]

Moon square Mercury

Aqua,

You said:

My 16 year old daughter is uruly, confrontational, defiant and extremely emotional. She has even started having fits of crying episodes and will not allow me to console her. She scream at me to leave her alone. When she does calm down she will sometimes explain some social issue she is having with friends...In the midst of her meltdowns, she cusses at me, slams doors, throws things and wails very very loudly. Sometimes she can continue for over an hour.

She has Mercury mercury: thinking, also talking) square square: energy needs to be combined with) Moon moon: emotions) indicating she has difficulty in talking out her emotions and this affects her thinking emotionally. Skyscript puts it like this:

…suggests conflict between your mind and your emotions…difficulties making reasonable judgments because your feelings get in the way. Irrational decisions place you at odds with people…have the feeling that you're being treated unfairly when this may not be the case…dwell on trivial personal matters and…have a real sense of insecurity. You can communicate well with those that are very close to you. Yet your peer group…can be a problem…Avoid the tendency to discredit the ideas of others when they disagree with your ideas or challenge you. Try to evaluate the ideas of others in an objective and quiet manner.

http://www.skyscript.co.uk/moonaspects.html#mosme

When she calms down and is able to talk to you, talk over the issue, explain the source of it and work to get her to see that emotional tantrums only make things worse and that calm reflection is her best friend. Especially important for her to learn to talk out emotional issues with someone.

This won't go away...it is something she has to come to terms with and yelling and screaming WON'T work in the "real world". The sooner she realizes that and works on it, the better.

Suggesting,

Tim

 

[Zarathu]

There is so much that could be going on here.

1. She could just be a typical teenager

2. She could be a high maintenance teenage girl(I had one of those).

3. You may have a dysfunctional family and not know, such as having an alcoholic family background but not having any drinking in the house(called a Type 4 alcoholic family). I had one of those.

4. You're daughter may be on drugs or alcohol and you don't know

5. your family may need family counseling

6. your daughter may need individual counseling

7. Something else

My high maintenance daughter turned out to be bi-polar which she inherited from another member of my extended family and my grandmother. She also had a host of other kinds of medical problems.

While I know her chart inside and out, probably better than my own, it hasn't really helped except to confirm that she would normally have been quite a bit out of the herd, but the other situations made it all worse.

Please consider getting a good physical work up by a physician, or psychiatrist, and then address the issues within a family counseling situation. You can look at the astrology along with that.

 

[aquarius7000]

Hi,

Your daughter has a highly aspected Moon. The Moon being in Leo, it is quite 'lively' and being in her first house, she identifies herself highly with her emotions/feelings.

The Moon is troubled with the likes of Pluto and Mars aspecting it. This makes her emotional world quite volatile and troubled inside; and, with the Moon in Leo, she has to let it out in some way, as Leo is an outward energy (unlike, say, Pisces), which 'expands' a lot. Also, with Leo, things/emotions are usually let out in a 'theatrical' manner, as the Leo energy tries to gain immediate attention that way. It has to feel heard. Hence, whatever you do, do not ignore her. The Leo energy usually calms down quite soon, and will normally realise its misgivings. The problem, however, is that Pluto makes her brood and harbour grudges. Plu-Moon ALWAYS has difficulty in letting go easily and will never forget, so if anyone has been mean to her at school, she has to come home and work it out. So, until she has found some way to work her emotional world to her 'satisfaction', she will throw tantrums (Moon-Mars). This combo is the one, which can make the native throw cups and plates, anything to let out the anger.

A way of tackling this energy is for her to maybe join some kind of a martial art, or even get a punching bag to fist her anger out, funny as this may sound. I have exactly this combo of Plu-Moon and Mars-Moon along with a Leo Asc, so I can really tell how it feels like. I may have that wee bit of more control and outward poise due to my Moon being in Cap (hence more subdued). She is a great person at heart with the Leo Moon. She needs to feel useful - Leo energy love that, as they are the most generous creatures at heart and love it big time to help others. It makes them feel sort of 'more complete' and puts them, on a higher pedestal, something that Leo's love. She may even enjoy the dramatics club, anything that gives vent to her emotions.

AQ7

 

[Zarathu]

A way of tackling this energy is for her to maybe join some kind of a martial art, or even get a punching bag to fist her anger out,

I'm sorry, but as a retired counseling professional, I really must disagree with this.

Research a long time ago(the 1970's) clearly indicated that using a punching bag when one is angry simply sets up a motor behavior habit to punching things when one is angry. If the bag is not available, then the motor behavior habits will cause whatever is available to get it. And that is usually a human being.

With respect to the poster, most counseling professionals stopped making that recommendation back in the late 70's.

 

[Kuntuzangmo]

Have you considered food (or other) allergy?

 

[Moog]

She's alway been a dramatic child but these crying fits just started about 3 months ago and she's done it at least once each month.

I've a good idea what's going on, but it'll take a bit of writing, and I've got work in the morning.

BBL

 

[Inline]

My 16 year old daughter is uruly, confrontational, defiant and extremely emotional. She has even started having fits of crying episodes and will not allow me to console her. She scream at me to leave her alone.

When she does calm down she will sometimes explain some social issue she is having with friends but it's disturbing to me that she would become so emotional over a fight with friends.

In the midst of her meltdowns, she cusses at me, slams doors, throws things and wails very very loudly. Sometimes she can continue for over an hour. She's done this several times now and I'm concerned to the point of reaching out for professional help but she gets upset about this and says I think she's crazy.

Hi Aqualibra, theres lots of good astrological advice here...i just wanted to mention a couple of tips which may help you out....

I'm an Aquarian too and prefer a civilized calmness to my life too. But i also have a Leo Moon - so i can really understand the drama your daughter creates (and needs!) in her life.

A leo moon needs love, admiration and respect always. They really need it soooooo much all of the time, but what do most teenagers experience, competition, comparison, criticism.... Leo moons also need to feel attractive and this is another trap which will leave her feeling miserable sometime soon again.

So try and understand how difficult it is for her to experience anything less, anything other than total admiration feels like critique and will leave her feeling humiliated. You can only really help her by showing her your respect and help her find good friends that look up to her.

 

[*emma*]

My 16 year old daughter is uruly, confrontational, defiant and extremely emotional. She has even started having fits of crying episodes and will not allow me to console her. She scream at me to leave her alone. When she does calm down she will sometimes explain some social issue she is having with friends but it's disturbing to me that she would become so emotional over a fight with friends. In the midst of her meltdowns, she cusses at me, slams doors, throws things and wails very very loudly. Sometimes she can continue for over an hour. She's done this several times now and I'm concerned to the point of reaching out for professional help but she gets upset about this and says I think she's crazy.


Can anyone see this in her chart and if so, do you see a way out of this or is this just the way she will always be?

Ive no astrology but I would say this is a mix if normal teenage behaviour plus a little of resentment at you for something, I would NOT go to any so called professional for help, find a way to get talking with her, your her mum you have the power to do that and the knowledge to know how, good luck x

 

[WackyAquarius]

I'm a 24 year old male,

And I too acted like this when I was teenager. Only because I didn't feel like the support was there for me. Sounds like she's rebelling against the actions your taking to support her.

I too also disagree with the advice giving about the punching bag. The girl is a Teenager and will not take anyone's advice to improve herself, especially if her confidence is down, and she feels anyway emotionally vulnerable.

She will learn, when she is ready to learn. For the moment you just gotta do your best to insure her that your there for her, that you love her and do not try control or condescend to her. Give her that bit independence, allow her to experience the repercussions of her own negative behavior. When she gets that a bit of space she might start to open up a bit more to you, and if she doesn't she'll still have more breathing space to learn about herself, in her own way.

All the best.

JD