Hades conjunct ascendant


How does Hades conjunct the ascendant play out?
I would love to hear some insight from someone who may have Hades prominent in their chart or who have studied it.

I have found a discouring list of tag words associated with Hades like: unplesant, crudeness, criminlity, decay, ugliness, darkness, illness...

On a more positive note I have seen it asscociated with the past (antiquity) psychology and metaphysiscs.

As it is associated with so much darkness and with the past and psychology it seems to me that it is an urgent thing to work on/ overcome in this lifetime or otherwise it manifests in miserable ways...?

There must be some way to turn around the evil into the good. What can I do?

I have to add I am not criminal at all, I am honest and my health is still rather robust. However, I hate myself a lot and I feel like I am all these things like unpleasant, detestable, ugly and so on and I am afraid I am seen like that by other people.

I am afraid that I have to work harder to convery myself positively as Hades is on my ascendant...?