Friendships problem,i don't have friends so far.

miquar

Well-known member
OK.... then.

Is there something else that you need?

Zarathu, it takes a lot of courage for people to express their confusion and vulnerability, and what they don't need is dismissive cynicism (which is itself a form of aggression). You seem to have adopted the phrase, 'There are no silver bullets' as some kind of catchphrase. People are aware that change requires effort, but are also entitled to hope for serendipity in whatever form it may arise. Astrology is an art, and an art requires heart.
 

theV

Well-known member
Zarathu, it takes a lot of courage for people to express their confusion and vulnerability, and what they don't need is dismissive cynicism (which is itself a form of aggression). You seem to have adopted the phrase, 'There are no silver bullets' as some kind of catchphrase. People are aware that change requires effort, but are also entitled to hope for serendipity in whatever form it may arise. Astrology is an art, and an art requires heart.

Astrology is an art, and an art requires heart
this is everything!!
 

JUPITERASC

Well-known member
'…...11th house is Traditionally known as the 'house of Good Fortune' :smile:
and
has rulership over friends and friendship,
supporters,
benefactors
those that help us directly
or behind the scenes.
11th is the house of beneficial fate, positive hope, trust, praise, comfort,
goals and ambitions.

Condition of 11th
indicates the fidelity or falseness of friend
s

11th also has rulership over promotion by recommendation of others.
and is a house of ambition, freedom,
optimism and confidence,
denoting personal strength,
motivation and increase.
A fortunate 11th house is a beneficial influence for any chart.…...'
http://www.skyscript.co.uk/temples/h11.html




In this particular natal chart,
Cancer is SIGN on 11th House
Cancer is the home territory of the MOON

This particular natal chart has Aries Moon

and

Moon has no Essential Dignity in Aries

and

Moon is therefore Peregrine in AriesThe weak condition of natal Moon ruler of 11th
damages 11th house matters



QUOTE


PEREGRINE

'…..Just as essential dignity signifies strength
and
a capacity for beneficial action,
lack of essential dignity implies weakness
or
a harmful disposition.
A planet with no essential dignity is called Peregrine,
a Latin word meaning 'alien' or 'foreigner'
(pereger = beyond the borders, ager = land, i.e., 'beyond one's own land').
In old English, to 'peregrinate' means to wander far from home.

In symbolic terms, a peregrine planet describes a drifter
- someone with no title or stake in his or her environment.

To think in terms of property can be helpful,
i.e.
Property owners tend to view drifters with suspicion,
and
distrust their lack of stability.....'



Under normal circumstances

a peregrine planet lacks the necessary strength to convey lasting benefit.
Its position of weakness can be alleviated, however,
if it is strongly dignified accidentally
or if it forms a mutual reception with a stronger planet http://www.skyscript.co.uk/dig4.html


Perhaps you should think more in terms of solitude and independence rather than all of those things you mention.

However, the astrological influence here is the Moon in the 8th house and in Aries.

The moon rules the 11th house of friends.
It is taking a strong square aspect from Mars in its exaltation.
There is also a mixed mutual reception.

This is not a strong influence for friends

and

such as you have may give you trouble.
BUT this particular 'mixed reception' is weak
Natal Moon is weak and debilitated
and
afflicted by a square from Exalted Capricorn Mars


Mercury rules your first house and the Sun it is there.

There is no reason you cannot rise about all this and become an independent self directed individual
.
Aries Moon occupies the Exaltation degree of the Sun
Sun is located in Virgo
Moon is Night triplicity ruler of Virgo
Virgo is the home territory of Mercuy
BUT
Mercury is in Venus-ruled Libra
and
Venus is in DETRIMENT
and also
Venus is in the SIGN of Moon's FALL
i.e.
Venus is in SCORPIO
and
Natal Venus has no Essential Dignity
and similarly as with Moon
Venus is Peregrine
 

Osamenor

Staff member
I see your chart showing very good potential for interpersonal relationships. Jupiter and your Part of Fortune are both in your seventh house (partnership, relationship), and Jupiter has a nice trine with Venus in the third house (communication).

Reading that as a predictor of your fate, we could say that you are likely to gain wealth through marriage, or that you're likely to be very lucky in love. Reading it as what's going on in your own psyche, it looks like you have great potential to do well in personal relationships of all kinds--romantic, platonic friendship, working partnerships--and that this potential is aided (trine) by a very communicative Venus. Jupiter in turn lends its luck and expansiveness to your communication abilities.

But superficial communication and superficial relationships are not for you. You need them to go deep. In Scorpio, Venus's classic manifestations--love of beauty, romanticism--usually don't show very well, because Scorpio is its fall sign. But that placement is very good for bringing out the deeper version of Venus. Scorpio insists on stripping away all pretenses, all superficiality, showing things as they are deep down. Venus in the context of Scorpio facilitates the deepest possible intimacy: communication devoid of superficialities.

Pisces, the sign of your Jupiter and seventh house, also needs deep intimacy, and tends to be highly sensitive to the moods and energies of others. That gives you great interpersonal intelligence, but, paradoxically, can result in you being overwhelmed in social situations, and a natural reaction to that overwhelm is to shut down.

I would guess that with those placements, you have little use for small talk, and casual friendships don't satisfy you. You need deeper ones. But lots of people don't relate on such a deep level. That naturally would leave you feeling disconnected and misunderstood. And to make friends, our society insists that you go out into social situations that are just too overwhelming for people with that Pisces-like sensitivity.

Your fifth house sign also reflects this, in a way. Fifth house indicates, among other things, the kinds of friends we need and our approach to friendship. Capricorn is all about boundaries and security. You need solid boundaries, and you need them respected by others, even in the most intimate relationships, and you need friendships that make you feel secure. Casual or superficial friendships don't satisfy that need. You need to really trust someone to be able to let them in.

That would explain why you have so much trouble being social, and probably also why people seem to avoid you. When you shut down around people, they get the sense that you don't want them around and back away.

To have friends, you would have to find them in a way appropriate for your level of sensitivity and need for boundaries. Not everyone does friendship the same way, nor should they.

On a non-astrological note, the way you've described your situation sounds like the kind of experience someone who's been heavily bullied would have. That happened to me when I was a child, and "I can't make friends" remained a part of my reality well into my adulthood, even when I actually was making friends very easily. If that ever happened to you, it would, if anything, heighten your sensitivity and need for security and make you fearful of others on a deep level.
 

Osamenor

Staff member
I can't understand how i could overcome this,i mean,its not just something usual,10 years to be alone without any friends,without a relationship or social life is a serious problem.

I can't believe a planet or square or sign is responsible for this stagnant situation,its unexplained.

You're right. No planet, square, or sign can be responsible for your stagnation. That you are in such stagnation reflects what's happening for you personally. Your birth chart shows the energies you brought into this life, but not your exact situation at any given time in your life. It won't reflect your stagnation because that's situational, not inborn.

I've been delving into alternative healing a lot the last few years--such things as reiki, acupuncture, hypnotherapy, and herbalism--and something I've learned from that is that emotional stagnation, such as you describe, involves stagnant energies. Your physical and emotional and biochemical energies are in a state of stagnation. The solution to that is to do something that unsticks those energies.

If you can find a good hypnotherapist, that particular method of therapy is especially effective at changing limiting beliefs and behaviors that don't help you. I've had that work very, very well for me, and it was such a gentle process that I seldom realized I was thinking or acting in a different way until I had been doing so for a while. That was what eventually snapped me out of the "I have no friends" mentality.

Acupuncture is also very good for moving stagnant energy, and so are many other forms of body work.
 

Osamenor

Staff member
The main problem with me is i wont search for therapy cause i fear the uknown situation,the stage,the part of taking the decision for a therapy seems to be a problem of the main problem.

Would it be easier if you could do a distance session? Some therapists do it over Skype and other VoIP programs. The hypnotherapist I worked with does, and he's willing to schedule a session (distance or otherwise) just to talk about it and see if you feel it's right for you, with no commitment necessary.

It is awful to be stuck in a space where you can't move forward without first moving forward. I've certainly been there, and how I actually got out, I don't even remember anymore!
 

spikeanderson79

Well-known member
Hi,

I also don't have any "real friends". Maybe you'd like to look at my chart to see if there are any similarities there.

The only thing I can think of why I have trouble making friendships---the pluto aspects in my chart. I'm still a novice at astrology, so I don't know what else creates a wall between people and myself.

I'm older than you, but it was very difficult in my 20s. Now that I'm in my 30s--not so much.

I'm more accepting of my life path. If you are like me, you look for depth in relationships. I'm a sensitive person, or so I've been told. This can be scary for some people. But, I think this is a strength I have. I can handle pain when others can't. This can be strange for some.

It is true what others have told you here. Discover who you are. What are your interests?

My interests aren't compatible with most. I'm strange and difficult to figure out.

I find that to socialize--at least in my area--a person likes to drink with company. I don't drink. Then I get asked if it is because of religion. But I'm not religious--at least not in traditional way. So, I don't really feel I belong anywhere.

I'm also an INFJ personality--if I ever connect with a true friend--it won't be superficial. And I feel bad saying it that way, as if other personality types have superficial friendships. I guess, everybody feels friendships differently. You and I haven't met people who give off that special energy or vibe that make us feel connected.

Once in a while, I do think about why I haven't made friends. But when I hang around people, I find that I can't be around them for too long. I don't feel bored, but it takes too much energy away from me. I need my space.

There is also the possibility that people want to be with you, but you've focused too much on why someone won't be your friend. Smile for no reason and say hello to strangers. People will accept you for who you are. In the end, it will be your choice if you want to hang out.
 

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wilsontc

Staff member
friendships vs. relationships, to Nightfall

Nightfall,

You asked:
What planets,signs can show us the friendships and relationships situation and what we compare to understand?

Be careful not to combine "friendships" with "relationships". "Friendships" are about getting close but not TOO close. This is associated in modern astrology with: 11th house, Uranus, and Aquarius. "Relationships" are about one to one relationships, usually with some sort of "pairing" going on. This is associated in modern astrology with 7th house, Venus, and Libra.

About the differences,

Tim
 

Osamenor

Staff member
Re: friendships vs. relationships, to Nightfall

Be careful not to combine "friendships" with "relationships". "Friendships" are about getting close but not TOO close. This is associated in modern astrology with: 11th house, Uranus, and Aquarius. "Relationships" are about one to one relationships, usually with some sort of "pairing" going on. This is associated in modern astrology with 7th house, Venus, and Libra.

About the differences,

Tim
Fifth house also gets involved in the friendship/relationship picture, if we consider the evolving definition of friend. The meaning of the word in use when the astrological houses were named would more accurately be called associate today. A friend was someone in your peer group, someone you associated with, but not necessarily someone you genuinely liked or had any kind of personal relationship with. That kind of friend is indicated by the eleventh house.

In some sense, that version of friend is still in use--high school cliques fit that definition very well--but we also use friend to mean someone we like and personally relate to. It's not strictly a one-on-one relationship--it's common to have multiple friends who may also be friends with each other in that sense--so doesn't necessarily fit the seventh house, but it does fit with the fifth house, which tends to concern relationships that arise out of personal liking but don't involve the deeply one-on-one partnership implied by the seventh house.

Traditionally, the fifth house includes lovers who are not spouses. A premarital or extramarital affair would fall into that house. To paint it with broader strokes, the fifth house indicates people you engage in seventh house-like interactions with, but without the commitment and exclusive pairing implied by the seventh house (and seventh house pairings are not always sexual or romantic; they also include rivals, business partners, and very close platonic friends). That fits very well with the modern definition of friend.
 

conspiracy theorist

Well-known member
[deleted non-astrological/attacking remarks - Moderator]

Your Mars is strong and in earth. Go learn a skill with your hands and get good at it. Eventually you can charge for your services and get paid for it. Then move out of your parents house so you don't have to deal with your father.
 
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hazeldove

Member
Your sun sign in Virgo will typically indicate an shy psychological makeup who's intesnly insecure and worried about not cutting the mustard with everyone else. This can express itself in isolating ways. Also your venus in scoprio means your intesnly loyal in relationships but highly selective about who you let in and see the lighter side of you. You may want to practice some lighthearted conversation techniques or spend time with children as they tend to bring the sweeter qualities out of us. Good luck and let me know how the friend hunting turns out

-friend
 

Carlos23

Banned
Dear Nightfall,
friendships are not ruled by 11th house generally. 11th house are groups/politics, not social relationships, de core. 7th house is also not friendships, unless very close. Generally, friendships are 5th house (joys!), 6th house (work friends), 8th house (sex partners), 9th house (foreign relationships!), 10th house (high government, or work friends.) and 2nd house (supportive friends.) Amen!
Isolation comes because you don't like yourself (Your appearance? Personality? Friends-situation?). The problem is, if you think about it too much, you hold grudges against yourself (not good!). You think about it too much. Friendships come from socialization (going out! Talking to people. Etcetera!) If you fear yourself, then you can't make friends! (Friends are openness. Remember this.) Amen.
Open yourself!
Your chart doesn't matter, if you can't open up! (Everyone senses a closed/non-opened-up person and avoids them! This is why you feel you have no friends.)
Also: Be less ridiculous. You have friends right here (Talking to people, if peaceful, is friendship.) Amen!
I haven't looked at your chart (For God's sake!), but I sense you have big problems! (money? sex?) Also: I am not stupid.
Holiness comes from inwardness, not outwardness. If you want become holy/perfect, be inside (don't look for perfectionism outside!) Just remember this. Joy comes from inside.-Me
Amen!
*
 
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