Experience with 12th house stellium and a lack of earth in my chart

L

love-thinking

Well-known member
I have a stellium in the 12th house in the sign of sag (which is also my first house) with sun, pluto, moon and mercury all conjunct in my 12th. I have jupiter, mars, neptune, and venus in my first house. I have north node in libra and south node in aries.

I am 26 year old and I have come to the conclusion that I probably will never find stability or anything tangible to truly grasp and keep. I might transform and be better at adapting to the world around me (pluto) but any bit of tangibility or stability in my life is not going to happen. Don't be misled by the benefics in my asc that make me and my life seem extremely lucky, and fortunate.

I have no ground to stand on. Zero. Any attempt of self-determinism and attempting to build skills feels hazy. Doesn't mean I should give up.

I just realized this after the many driving lessons (mercury in 12th??), after obtaining degrees but failing to remember or develop any skills after them, after going from job to job and the many failed relationships with men who were indecisive of whether they wanted a long-term relationship/marriage but decided they wanted to definitely sleep with my asc before.

What keeps me going is luck. (jupiter in first) What frustrates me is my need for independence and be someone (south node in aries). What stops me is the haziness of the 12th house. My need for independence and stability keeps me at a prison (12th house) when what I value the most is freedom. (sag stellium) What keeps me going and amps my resilience is my plutonic aspects. But with so much 12th house, and pluto, it seems like I must come to terms with the fact that my life will keep changing, that nothing lasts forever and truly even I will keep changing.

I remember when my need for stability was soo much that, I would create a schedule for myself, be hyper focused to a point where I have the things I needed to learn in my phone in audio format. But this may be also in the realm of relationships, family, career as well, but no matter what I do, I don't feel enough, I don't see an end to anything, I see everything as unpredictable, ever changing, and unstable. And it scares me just as it did when I came to this realization.

I fear aging at age 26. I feel as though without some of the looks I do have, I am truly nothing. I fear getting old and not truly mattering and not truly making a difference. I fear missing out on the years of my youth. But simultaneously I fear missing out on making something of myself. I fear skipping over the best years of my femininity when I am ripe for marriage and kids.
 
conspiracy theorist

conspiracy theorist

Well-known member
Similar chart (born a week apart, same rising sign), and similar experiences (in terms of a fairly tumultuous life; even recently going through two life threatening incidents last month) but I don't have the same outlook. Even though I also have that Jupiter on my ascendant, I don't consider myself lucky at all, and I think Jupiter gets nerfed due to the stationing Saturn square from Pisces. I do have the Capricorn Venus, and couple that with an Aquarius Moon and I have a bit more in terms of grit and "ballast" than maybe you experience yourself having.

I am working hard to build things in my life that last, and even though I have had to start from zilch a couple times, I do notice that every attempt I become better and better at laying foundations, building long lasting skills and improving my circumstances along the way. I think a major part of the game is that you just have to accept the "flow" of the life path that you are given and learn how to augment your strengths and limit your weaknesses.

Especially in the medium term, there will be another big whirlwind of changes in my life, but this will be voluntary instead of involuntary. Ultimately though, our best plans may be wiped by forces greater than ourselves.

Uranus in Gemini is coming. Let's hope it doesn't **** us up too badly.
 
JUPITERASC

JUPITERASC

Well-known member
love-thinking said:
I have a stellium in the 12th house in the sign of sag (which is also my first house) with sun, pluto, moon and mercury all conjunct in my 12th. I have jupiter, mars, neptune, and venus in my first house. I have north node in libra and south node in aries.

I am 26 year old and I have come to the conclusion that I probably will never find stability or anything tangible to truly grasp and keep. I might transform and be better at adapting to the world around me (pluto) but any bit of tangibility or stability in my life is not going to happen. Don't be misled by the benefics in my asc that make me and my life seem extremely lucky, and fortunate.

I have no ground to stand on. Zero. Any attempt of self-determinism and attempting to build skills feels hazy. Doesn't mean I should give up.

I just realized this after the many driving lessons (mercury in 12th??), after obtaining degrees but failing to remember or develop any skills after them, after going from job to job and the many failed relationships with men who were indecisive of whether they wanted a long-term relationship/marriage but decided they wanted to definitely sleep with my asc before.

What keeps me going is luck. (jupiter in first) What frustrates me is my need for independence and be someone (south node in aries). What stops me is the haziness of the 12th house. My need for independence and stability keeps me at a prison (12th house) when what I value the most is freedom. (sag stellium) What keeps me going and amps my resilience is my plutonic aspects. But with so much 12th house, and pluto, it seems like I must come to terms with the fact that my life will keep changing, that nothing lasts forever and truly even I will keep changing.

I remember when my need for stability was soo much that, I would create a schedule for myself, be hyper focused to a point where I have the things I needed to learn in my phone in audio format. But this may be also in the realm of relationships, family, career as well, but no matter what I do, I don't feel enough, I don't see an end to anything, I see everything as unpredictable, ever changing, and unstable. And it scares me just as it did when I came to this realization.

I fear aging at age 26. I feel as though without some of the looks I do have, I am truly nothing. I fear getting old and not truly mattering and not truly making a difference. I fear missing out on the years of my youth. But simultaneously I fear missing out on making something of myself. I fear skipping over the best years of my femininity when I am ripe for marriage and kids.
Click to expand...
chart?

.
:)
 
IleneK

IleneK

Premium Member
Depending upon what your chart shows, your Saturn return in the next few years may be of great assistance in coming to understand who and what you are, which always stands to be of some benefit in our navigating the waters of this life.
 
D

david starling

Well-known member
conspiracy theorist said:
Similar chart (born a week apart, same rising sign), and similar experiences (in terms of a fairly tumultuous life; even recently going through two life threatening incidents last month) but I don't have the same outlook. Even though I also have that Jupiter on my ascendant, I don't consider myself lucky at all, and I think Jupiter gets nerfed due to the stationing Saturn square from Pisces. I do have the Capricorn Venus, and couple that with an Aquarius Moon and I have a bit more in terms of grit and "ballast" than maybe you experience yourself having.



Uranus in Gemini is coming. Let's hope it doesn't **** us up too badly.
Click to expand...

Uran in Gemini will shake things up and stick it to Saturn.
 
JUPITERASC

JUPITERASC

Well-known member
IleneK said:
Depending upon what your chart shows, your Saturn return in the next few years may be of great assistance in coming to understand who and what you are, which always stands to be of some benefit in our navigating the waters of this life.
Click to expand...
love-thinking said:
I fear aging at age 26. I feel as though without some of the looks I do have, I am truly nothing. I fear getting old and not truly mattering and not truly making a difference. I fear missing out on the years of my youth. But simultaneously I fear missing out on making something of myself. I fear skipping over the best years of my femininity when I am ripe for marriage and kids.
Click to expand...
Saturn represents fear :)

.
 
K

katydid

Staff member
I'd love to see the chart posted here. It seems like a riddle that should be explored, in a timely fashion.

Astrology is an art form that uses the placement of the planets and luminaries to give insight into aspects of one’s psychology, as well as make life predictions.
 
tomekbb

tomekbb

Active member
conspiracy theorist said:
Similar chart (born a week apart, same rising sign), and similar experiences (in terms of a fairly tumultuous life; even recently going through two life threatening incidents last month) but I don't have the same outlook. Even though I also have that Jupiter on my ascendant, I don't consider myself lucky at all, and I think Jupiter gets nerfed due to the stationing Saturn square from Pisces. I do have the Capricorn Venus, and couple that with an Aquarius Moon and I have a bit more in terms of grit and "ballast" than maybe you experience yourself having.

I am working hard to build things in my life that last, and even though I have had to start from zilch a couple times, I do notice that every attempt I become better and better at laying foundations, building long lasting skills and improving my circumstances along the way. I think a major part of the game is that you just have to accept the "flow" of the life path that you are given and learn how to augment your strengths and limit your weaknesses.

Especially in the medium term, there will be another big whirlwind of changes in my life, but this will be voluntary instead of involuntary. Ultimately though, our best plans may be wiped by forces greater than ourselves.

Uranus in Gemini is coming. Let's hope it doesn't **** us up too badly.
Click to expand...
Remember that Saturn is in the domicyle of Jupiter :) And he[Jupiter] is in superior position to Saturn :) My saturn also square my Jupiter, but it doesnt necessarily means negative... difficult aspects make us grow..
 
C

Cassiopeia

Well-known member
love-thinking said:
I have a stellium in the 12th house in the sign of sag (which is also my first house) with sun, pluto, moon and mercury all conjunct in my 12th. I have jupiter, mars, neptune, and venus in my first house. I have north node in libra and south node in aries.

I am 26 year old and I have come to the conclusion that I probably will never find stability or anything tangible to truly grasp and keep. I might transform and be better at adapting to the world around me (pluto) but any bit of tangibility or stability in my life is not going to happen. Don't be misled by the benefics in my asc that make me and my life seem extremely lucky, and fortunate.

I have no ground to stand on. Zero. Any attempt of self-determinism and attempting to build skills feels hazy. Doesn't mean I should give up.

I just realized this after the many driving lessons (mercury in 12th??), after obtaining degrees but failing to remember or develop any skills after them, after going from job to job and the many failed relationships with men who were indecisive of whether they wanted a long-term relationship/marriage but decided they wanted to definitely sleep with my asc before.

What keeps me going is luck. (jupiter in first) What frustrates me is my need for independence and be someone (south node in aries). What stops me is the haziness of the 12th house. My need for independence and stability keeps me at a prison (12th house) when what I value the most is freedom. (sag stellium) What keeps me going and amps my resilience is my plutonic aspects. But with so much 12th house, and pluto, it seems like I must come to terms with the fact that my life will keep changing, that nothing lasts forever and truly even I will keep changing.

I remember when my need for stability was soo much that, I would create a schedule for myself, be hyper focused to a point where I have the things I needed to learn in my phone in audio format. But this may be also in the realm of relationships, family, career as well, but no matter what I do, I don't feel enough, I don't see an end to anything, I see everything as unpredictable, ever changing, and unstable. And it scares me just as it did when I came to this realization.

I fear aging at age 26. I feel as though without some of the looks I do have, I am truly nothing. I fear getting old and not truly mattering and not truly making a difference. I fear missing out on the years of my youth. But simultaneously I fear missing out on making something of myself. I fear skipping over the best years of my femininity when I am ripe for marriage and kids.
Click to expand...
I have a 12-house stellium but Virgo. Although I have much earth in my chart, I have struggled with similar issues.

I feel you...

I hated for many years that stellium in the 12 house, especially the Sun, it made me feel that I can't find my place & peace in this world. To keep the long story short, I’ll write here what worked for me to find balance and grounding (still working on it... as this kind of work is always in progress) and maybe you'll find something useful.

Self-awareness and self-compassion will give you more grounding & stability. Discovering and knowing yourself is essential to 12 house Sun. I dare say that the more you will know yourself (and accept) the more ground will feel under your feet. If you can afford also work with a good therapist on specific issues. If you can't afford it then search for talks and books on issues you'd like to work on. For me, discovering Gabor Mate's books & talks was a fantastic eye-opener. He addresses the importance of authenticity for our emotional wellbeing.

You can search and listen to or read about other people's experiences on a similar journey. I've learned a lot from both psychologists and spiritual teachers, and I felt I'm not as alone in this as I thought and felt for so long... I've adapted what they were sharing to my journey, to what felt good to me.

12 house people have to dedicate time for time alone, for rest, for things that do well to the soul: yoga, music, walking in nature (whatever your soul loves) and you have to do this quite often. If I don't spend time alone just in nature, with music, or yoga, after a while I get depressed... and I know depression so well... I've had it for years.

Also, work on your boundaries. 12-house people are sensitive to energies around and tend to absorb emotions easily and feel unwell or overwhelmed as we are empaths :)

Some say 12 house planets are hidden in Neptune's waters, so we can't see them clearly, but they have their gifts. I've totally changed my view about the 12-house planets during the last few years, it's not easy to work with those planets & energies, but it is rewarding and it brings results. Also, be patient, loving, and kind to yourself on this journey :)
 
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