Etiquette and telling people their fate.


Well-known member
also, as i do more and more charts, I notice I instantly pick out the point in the chart causing the most hurt. I can dig out emotional wounds like a ferret going mach 1. its the first and only thing i can see sometimes.

I LOVE that image. It really speaks to your Mars/Saturn exact conjunction perfectly. :ninja: and then the square to Mercury helps you communicate it.

Ebertin says of Mars/Saturn = Mercury;

"Thoughts on separation, illness, death, or the next world beyond."

So you know how to get right to the root of the problem, instantly. :bandit:


Well-known member
What do you mean by "putting across a more tea and sympathy vibe" I read that 5 diffrent ways and don't understand sorry..

I mean that the Ascendant can sometimes give a somewhat inaccurate picture of what we are about. You describe yourself in very Aquarian terms - cool, detached, uncomfortable wih emotions, yet your Ascendant is Cancer. So, maybe you give an impression of being more in tune with with emotions - your own and those of others, and of being more sympathetic than you actually are.


Sometimes I get the idea in my head that I really am just faking all the emotional things, but I don't know if I really am or not. No one can tell you how to feel, or how you are suposed to feel. Wich is why I guess I have such an issue I don't know how I am suposed to feel with certin emotions, I know that they are there and what they are called.

I guess in my mind i have Arch types for emotions pre set, and when I feel certin emotions I go to that arch type and feel like that arch type i have set up in my mind, is to represent.

Like diffrent emotions are diffrent hats.
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Staff member
Moon, to Niplan


You said:
I ran my chart through all the house system on astro, and most of them except for 2 or 4 say im cancer rising instead of leo :/Cancer does seem to fit better the moodyness and the sideways approch to all things.

Whether or not you have Cancer rising, since you have a strong connection to your :moon: (home, also emotions) in your chart, the "moodiness" is part of how you handle things in your life. And, looked at another way, you have a bucket chart with :moon: as the "handle", which means you "pick up things" in your life with your emotions.


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You should really read Sue Tompkins book, Aspects in Astrology.

She's a great writer (and also an Aquarius, I think).

Her writing is incredibly sophisticated and balanced, with out too many polarities of "this sign is good, this one is bad."

By the way, in Astrology, you can't tell people their fate. You can only tell them the cards their being dealt with, and the best way they can use that energy.

Astrology is a fluid open door into the future of possibily energy conflicts and harmonies and interpreting the possible manifestations of such situations. Free will, and their own fate, is up to them.


oh yeah, and I don't know why no one has mentioned this, but you have

Mercury square Mars, duh. hahah
And Venus square Mars.

Your mercury and venus are all pisces and your mars is sag.

Sooo yeah.
And also.
You Sun is actually Aquarius-Pisces and your moon is Taurus-Gemini.
On the cusp, big difference. But I don't know if anyone here will agree with me on that.


Well-known member
Re: Moon, to Niplan

First I want to say that Placidus system (not equal house) does not leave out any degrees. They're all in there. Each sign has 30 degrees but each house can have as few as 20 degrees or as many as 40 degrees (approx).

Having the correct house cusps makes it easier to know the correct ruler of the house. Using a solar chart or equal house chart, I believe anyway, reduces your accuracy a little or a lot, depending upon the situation.

You are young. Usually when I say those words the person I am writing to gets very defensive as though there is something wrong with being young. There's nothing wrong with it. However, as you get older and more experienced, you will one day look back and have the same opinion.

Not only are you young, but it's hard for a person more mature to be totally confident in what you are saying, as you haven't been an adult very long. Being mature gives you the ability or at least the potential of being objective. And people won't get "mad" at you very often if you remain objective.

I want you to notice a very interesting aspect in your interesting aspect and house position. You have the Sun (and Jupiter) on the 8th house cusp, and it squares the moon almost exactly...which is in the 11th.
The MOON rules the "public", andtherefore you are correct in assuming you need to hone your "people skills" before telling people their "fate" which may or may not be as you see it.

You were born with the feeling that your are "right" a lot of the time. Especially about others. This may or may not be correct....or it may be correct in the future. Right now you need to learn humility. Because if you are an astrologer, it is Astrology that is the "star", not the astrologer. You are
"the messenger."

You have humility programmed into your have 2 planets in Pisces, the sign of spiritual humility. BUT...bothMars and Saturn square them. You need to study 2 things: first, the conjunction of Mars and Saturn... this is CRUCIAL in your life.
Next you must study the squares: Saturn square Venus, Saturn square Mercury, Mars square Venus, Mars square Mercury.

Of all these, My least favorite aspect is Mars square Venus. It takes a LOT of work to internalize what it means in your own chart, let alone what it could mean for someone you are reading for.

I fear you are putting the cart before the horse. Only read for people who won't get annoyed with you for getting it wrong, until you feel competent.

I know everyone is different, but nevertheless I will tell you about my personal astrological history. I began reading seriously about it for almost 2 years before I found a school that existed only for about 12 years in my area....I always felt this was karmic... that I had the opportunity to learn from these astrologers.

I took all the classes, then took private and semi-private lessons in delineation.
At that time Martin Schulman who has written many excellent books on different areas of astrology was giving group lessons in his home in Queens, NY. I took lessons with him.

For the following 3 years I did the charts of every friend or acquaintance I could find to be my guinea pig, and did not charge a fee. I asked for as much feedback as possible and begged them to call me to let me know what was going on in their lives so that I could follow their transits.

8 years after I began learning astrology, I took my first fee.

I would like to tell you that by that time I felt confident. But I never see a new client without having stagefright. Updates are easier because the client and I already know each other.

The first rule of astrologers should be the first rule of physicians:

First, DO NO HARM.

Astrology is a science and also an art. I began learning astrology with one gal who had my exact chart, except her's was 12 hours different. Same moon, same planets in the signs,just different houses. She taught the math in astrology and studied "hypothetical planets", those same planets today that many astrologers use in their readings.

I asked her if she gave readings and she shuddered...NO...I could never have the nerve to do a reading for someone I don't know. It wasn't that she was not competent, she just wanted to use her talent for research.

The POINT of this is that HER stellium in Leo fell in her 3rd house, while mine falls in my 9th house. SHE was a gatherer or information, I am a disseminator of information. Part of my job as an astrologer is to pass on information like books which will enhance the astrological experience.... usually called "self help" books. This makes the reading more valuable. Of course you can't recommend a book you haven't read, so you need to read a lot of books.

The art of reading "to a stranger" is one that takes a long time to master. You must have unlimited patience with yourself and others.
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im not insulted by the young comment, i was thinking of that very same issue as well.

I guess the rest of what I need to do is digest what i've been given.

I feel like i am learning humility, at the very least im trying as hard as i can, If the first thing that comes to my head is a thought that i would say because i know im right, i just keep it to my self alot now more then i used to.

I let arguments go, just for the sake of not having to argue with someone about something especialy if it doesn't matter.

instead of making statements ive been trying to rephrase them into questions for the person to awnser so as im not telling them something, they are telling me something that i want to know that i think i know.

its ok though, 1 month of study down, the rest of my life to go.
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Well-known member
im not insulted by the young comment, i was thinking of that very same issue as well.

I guess the rest of what I need to do is digest what i've been given.

I feel like i am learning humility, at the very least im trying as hard as i can, If the first thing that comes to my head is a thought that i would say because i know im right, i just keep it to my self alot now more then i used to.

I let arguments go, just for the sake of not having to argue with someone about something especialy if it doesn't matter.


I have got to say that you have really impressed me a bunch recently.
You have matured and grown tremendously.
I am sure you remember when we initially butt heads a bit over your initial readings here for people. I was even upset enough to PM you and call you on a few things. :annoyed:However, from those PMs we became friends and we debated the issue rationally for awhile. My only problem at the time, was that although your blunt descriptions and phrases were 'correct', even brilliant at times, they were also potentially damaging to the unwitting clients. :cool:

You have now come full circle. You came to this realization yourself and have been discussing the implications and how best to mitigate the situation.
Bravo. You are really showing us all how quickly you catch on and can elevate yourself to the higher vibratory levels of your genius chart. :love::ninja::annoyed:


Well-known member
I think you can gather if someone is wanting some sugar coat by examining them. This can get better by practice. But I find telling someone that something bad will happen for sure a very bad move. Be it in astrology or anything else.

I, myself, would like to know the bad only if I could take some precaution against it. Like, Saturn is squaring your Jupiter, so don't gamble in this time, etc. Saturn is squaring your Jupiter, so depressed times are awaiting you, is a bad choice of words. (I'm just giving an example here, I hope you get my point.)

That I don't want to know. No one should tell me that. Because I think, whatever is happening with the planets, we always have a say. We can always have amazing things happen whilst a hard transit. I also believe in the power of positive thinking, so that's one of the reasons why I'm so opposed to it.

So try to observe the people that come to you, a 15 year old bubbly girl will probably not want to hear the bad, just the sugar coated version. You can even see it in their eyes. And when you are tellin gall the facts, even if you don't emphatize, know that people want to be happy, and hearing bad things makes this hard.

good luck to you.
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Re: Etiquette and Reading charts

Ive been asking various people and so far gotten good advice, Im hoping for more of that. Being the aquariun obsessed with secrets I am and naturally turning to astrology to dig out its secrets, I've come to an issue, How does an aquariun who is so far removed from emotions deliver an astrology consultation that does not sound like a condesending story of all their flaws why they have them, and a few good pointers lost in the despair of the bad news.

Should i only give people a small amount of the bad or the why, or should I go on and on about the good, Not everyone wants the good, I know i'd hate it if someone sugar coated it. I don't want someone to be all puppys and unicorns and healing.

How do I one who's first response when someone starts crying, is to look at them with a scrunched up eyes and ask why are you crying.

Im not talking about the uniting with emotions and being more in tune with people, Regardless of how in tune i am with others and things around me, I will always be removed from emotions, I just don't understand them sometimes, That makes me better at other things though just not with people.

so anyone have any tips pointers any unwritten Etiquette they can share?

Niplan, you have gotten some excellent advice. Might I ask how long you have been studying astrology and what are your credentials to advise clients, by which I assume you mean paying customers? Astrology is an unregulated field so you don't technically need more than a business license to practice it in most places. But there are examinations given by groups like the Federation of American Astrologers that show that someone has mastered a range of astrology fundamentals, depending upon the level.

To some extent your own chart does influence the kind of reading you are able to give. But as an astrologer, "it's not about you" but about the client. An astrologer should be able to tell from the client's horoscope how best to deliver information in a way that they can best receive it. Where is this person's Mercury, for example? If someone has a strong Virgo/Pisces axis, for example, he probably will be extra-sensitive. If someone has a strong 8th house, she may be secretive about her life. If you are speaking to a double Leo, appeal to her pride. With a strong western hemisphere emphasis, you can speak about their need to adapt to circumstances. With a strong focus on the southeast quadrant (upper left), you can advise them in terms of their taking concrete, active steps to solve their problems. &c.

Also, consider whether it is helpful to divide up human beings into static "good" or "bad" components. I would rather ask, in a more dynamic vein, "What challenges and problems does this individual face?" "With what assets does she face them?" Why is this person on the planet? "Where and how does she feel most like herself?"

Good luck in your vocation, Niplan!


i re-did my chart using solar fire, and even in whole signs that one says im a cancer asc too...

this changes my house meanings alot.. hrm.. it clicks more, especialy with the venus mercury in the 9th house as just one example. and pluto scorpio 5th..


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Re: Etiquette and Reading charts

Hi Niplan,
I agree with "waybread" that the clients chart will help you to KNOW how to talk to them, how much to tell them, and if they need to come back after digesting the intitial information you have them.

You said,
"its ok though, 1 month of study down, the rest of my life to go."
THAT'S the spirit!!

To address something another poster said, I don't read for 15 year olds. My youngest clients were 17 year old twins, one of whom had been "stalked" in high school. I had done charts for both their parents in the past. I saw them separately.
My advice is to try NOT to have to read for identical twins, unless you can see them a few months apart. It was really stressful to find the differences between them - even though I actually do HAVE twin daughters myself and knew they had many individual differences and experiences.

Usually I don't read for anyone not working for the fee they are paying me. Meaning they are old enough to work for a living. Even some college age students are too immature to really "get" what I am offering. Again, as "waybread" said, you need to really understand the person you are reading for before you see them...and it's also helpful to do a synastry chart with your chart and their' see where the stress might lay...and also see if they have Saturn transitting their 7th, which might make them either very open or VERY closed to advice.

We do assume that if someone actually makes an appointment they are open to advice, but...LOL..that's not always the case.

I have one client for many many years who refuses to ask any questions or give me any "lead" for where to begin my reading with her...luckily I am very attuned to her chart and once I have given her all I can and she tells me how accurate I am we fall into a normal back and forth pattern. I tell you this so that you realize how very different each person is and especially what they EXPECT from a reading, especially if they have never had an authentic, legitimate astrology reading.
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