I took the day off to process my thoughts. Despite my natural fire, I am a pussy and needed time out. A ‘mental health day’ as the Millennial spoilt tarts call it. It is 3pm here, the day off is nearly over. I can take tomorrow off too if I want, won’t make any difference in terms of how much damage taking a taking one day off has already. I might go back tomorrow. I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, as in, my thought’s are starting to calibrate now.
There are a couple of thought’s that stick out: the first one is, that I can walk away with my head held high because I have only ever tried to protect my boundaries and I have acted with integrity and kindness. Unlike the manager and team leader who have resorted to lying and underhanded tactics such as a campaign to discredit me. Truth has been my sword and weapon and the ultimate consequences will be on those bastards.
Secondly, in the ‘grand scheme of things,’ Tower moments aren’t actually that big of a deal. I remembered a dream I had a couple of years ago where I had a bird’s eye view of the Main Street of the village I grew up in. On one end of the street, a lady walked across the road Cather her chopping bags. On the other end of the street, as the man crossed the road, he fell down and had a heart attack. A small crowd gathered as they tried to assist him and eventually an ambulance came and picked him up. Then, village life continued as normal. The moral of that dream was, emotions may have been high on the street level when the man collapsed, but up in my bird’s eye view, it was a tiny event.
I refer to another dream I had a few years ago. This time was a past-life memory. I was lying in a field, unable to move and feeling terrified. I could feel the enemy coming closer to me and eventually, my world went blank. (I believe I was a soldier injured in a field who was then shot). In the dream, I tried desperately to rewind and go back but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t. I had the same dream every so often and it was vivid each time. Each morning I woke up scared. The last time I had it, I finally woke up and recognised it as a past-life memory. The moral of that story is, is that that was such a huge Tower moment, I actually died. So this Tower moment I am currently having, isn’t as final.
I have been reading about Marie Antoinette recently. She was sentenced to death during the French Recolution. She famously said, ‘let them eat cake,’ when confronted with the news that the civilian population were starving. During her trial in court, she was accused of being a traitor for sending money to her native country Denmark, for having numerous affairs despite being married to the King, and her son was even talked into falsely accusing her of making sexual advances towards him. Her lawyers expected life imprisonment at worst, but instead she was sentenced to be executed by hanging. Now that must have been an awful Tower moment kind of day.
My point is, I too shall die and today is not the day it happens.
Another thought that occurred to me is a good way to approach a Tower moment or any crisis in life is to approach it with a sense of humour. Human being’s are utterly ridiculous after all.
