Destroying myself - need help.

ElenaJ

Well-known member
Liliana, you entered in the chart all the lovey dovey sexy asteroids, but not the ones possibly creating pain or havoc.
You didn't post the chart data so we can't do the chart for you, but try eliminating the asteroids already posted and in their place inserting:
Nessus, Sedna, Karma, Pholus, Adrastaeia (239), Echo, Melpomene (18).
Look forward to seeing how these relate to the chart.
Thanks
 

LilianaS

Member
lol! I like the way you put it, Elena. I didn't realize I was missing the trouble-causing asteroids.

Here you go - things are about to go from bad to worse ;)
 

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LilianaS

Member
Also, can I ask, does anyone know what it means if so many planets/angles are at the same degree (6), as they are in the Davison chart? I'm curious. I tried to read about it, but I can't find much information other than on very specific degrees.
 

ElenaJ

Well-known member
The chart is fairly loaded, which makes reading it difficult. To avoid it I suggested removing all the others.
See if you relate to any of these contacts. Not sure if this is helpful to you.


(239) ADRASTAEIA..... Conjunct your sun, and his moon, giving this increased strength.

“Who does not flee”; “the inescapable one”. Asteroid Adrastaeia can show those who do not leave abusive situations, or, can show moments and traumas where we were unable to escape, as in the case of abusive childhoods. This asteroid can also talk about areas of wounding we cannot escape, such as alcoholism or drug abuse.

In the composite chart this does not show up, so it part of the individual make-up, but not the relationship.

(18) MELPOMENE... His conjunct your mars and close to your descendent.

Grief, loss, mourning. Next to any of the love asteroids (Amor, Eros, Psyche) this can make for disastrous or painful love affairs, and can even indicate death or loss of a partner. (NB. it isn't near amor/eros/psyche).

In the composite this opposes moon and squares the Saturn/pluto conjunction.

(3811) KARMA.....Trine the composite moon.

Karma, like Achilles and Atropos, is one of my absolute go-to asteroids. Asteroid Karma stands for exactly what it should: Karmic connections, relationships, pain or circumstances that go back lifetimes. Sometimes in life we may feel that certain events were ‘fated’ or pre-told. Asteroid Karma is a great indicator of such energy within a birth chart.
 

Lin

Well-known member
Thank you, Lin.

That's tough, but fair.

"Add to this the belief which comes from the incredible "Sun conj Moon" aspect....which will never end unless you end it." - Are you being serious about this part? That's a bit scary. I will give this some serious thought.

I think you're right, there is a part of me that's victimizing myself through this situation. This is why I asked for help. I felt like I'd been spinning my wheels trying to figure it out myself and was starting to get the sense that maybe I was a large part of the problem.

Thank you
Astrology, Liliana, is mostly a "diagnostic tool." We can provide "therapy" based on your chart but not on a forum...only in person.
However: this I can explain further....""Add to this the belief which comes from the incredible "Sun conj Moon" aspect....which will never end unless you end it." - Are you being serious about this part? That's a bit scary. I will give this some serious thought.

Sun conj Moon draws two people together ....for the Moon person the Sun in that same degree seems to be "living out" the real feelings of the moon energy.
For the Sun person, the Moon adds feelings to the ego energy. It really can't change as long as the two people stay in a relationship where they see or even correspond together. Sorry... The conjunction only works WELL if the rest of the chart SUPPORTS that aspect PLUS making other lucky and supportive aspects...and not undermining ones to the same planets.
LIN
 

LilianaS

Member
Thank you, Lin. No worries, no need for therapy in this thread.
I enjoy the conversation and I really appreciate everyone's input - It helps me widen my own thoughts and consider things from different perspectives. Perhaps at the end of it, I'll be a little smarter or at least a little more self-aware.

That's interesting about the sun-moon conjunction. I'd read that before, about the way it interacts with the feelings and ego of each person. I'd have to look into synastry much deeper than my current very amateur level to understand how other aspects in our charts affect such a conjunction.
 

LilianaS

Member
The chart is fairly loaded, which makes reading it difficult. To avoid it I suggested removing all the others.
See if you relate to any of these contacts. Not sure if this is helpful to you.


(239) ADRASTAEIA..... Conjunct your sun, and his moon, giving this increased strength.

“Who does not flee”; “the inescapable one”. Asteroid Adrastaeia can show those who do not leave abusive situations, or, can show moments and traumas where we were unable to escape, as in the case of abusive childhoods. This asteroid can also talk about areas of wounding we cannot escape, such as alcoholism or drug abuse.

In the composite chart this does not show up, so it part of the individual make-up, but not the relationship.

(18) MELPOMENE... His conjunct your mars and close to your descendent.

Grief, loss, mourning. Next to any of the love asteroids (Amor, Eros, Psyche) this can make for disastrous or painful love affairs, and can even indicate death or loss of a partner. (NB. it isn't near amor/eros/psyche).

In the composite this opposes moon and squares the Saturn/pluto conjunction.

(3811) KARMA.....Trine the composite moon.

Karma, like Achilles and Atropos, is one of my absolute go-to asteroids. Asteroid Karma stands for exactly what it should: Karmic connections, relationships, pain or circumstances that go back lifetimes. Sometimes in life we may feel that certain events were ‘fated’ or pre-told. Asteroid Karma is a great indicator of such energy within a birth chart.
I'm digesting all of this, Elena.

But I will say that if the Asteroid Adrastaeia belongs to me in that conjunction... which I think it does... then it would definitely be reflective of my own childhood. I would agree that I grew up in a very chaotic household with one abusive parent. It was a situation I very much wanted to escape but could not.
 

Mad Madam Mimm

Well-known member
Pffff I'm not surprised. Both the synastry and composites are full of Neptune. Why not throw on a little more? 🙄
Lilith on South Node!!!
Why is this only mentioned once?
Don’t even tell me shes in scorp.

You are not a
Prisoner of bad love. It’s two choices.
Do I like how this makes me feel?
Or No?

The rest is a great chance for you to not only take back your personal power, but, go flex it with someone that really sees you… that won’t break your heart.
Self Love is great protection, easier said than done I know.
I wish you the best. You battling the underworld sis lol… you will resurface with a life saving gem and hopefully, the knowledge to use your head over heart. You got to with some of these mens. Gl

Oh and the Neptune lol…I’m basically a Virgo and even that gets me in dreamlike state with love a love bubble feeling. It’s just awful I hate it lol. The bubble pops end up chasing dragons lol
 
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Humanitarian

Well-known member
Lilith on South Node!!!
Why is this only mentioned once?
Don’t even tell me shes in scorp.

You are not a
Prisoner of bad love. It’s two choices.
Do I like how this makes me feel?
Or No?

The rest is a great chance for you to not only take back your personal power, but, go flex it with someone that really sees you… that won’t break your heart.
Self Love is great protection, easier said than done I know.
I wish you the best. You battling the underworld sis lol… you will resurface with a life saving gem and hopefully, the knowledge to use your head over heart. You got to with some of these mens. Gl

Oh and the Neptune lol…I’m basically a Virgo and even that gets me in dreamlike state with love a love bubble feeling. It’s just awful I hate it lol. The bubble pops end up chasing dragons lol
That Lilith-South Node conjunction is very tight, so it can destroy a relationship unintentionally...
 

Mad Madam Mimm

Well-known member
That Lilith-South Node conjunction is very tight, so it can destroy a relationship unintentionally...
I would assume unbalanced obsession, maybe not a bad way to be destroyed lol
However, if strong temperance and self awareness that come w maturity, could be great .
I don’t have my contacts in, kinda hard to see the chart. That was enough for me to get the jist.
 

LilianaS

Member
Lilith on South Node!!!
Why is this only mentioned once?
Don’t even tell me shes in scorp.

You are not a
Prisoner of bad love. It’s two choices.
Do I like how this makes me feel?
Or No?

The rest is a great chance for you to not only take back your personal power, but, go flex it with someone that really sees you… that won’t break your heart.
Self Love is great protection, easier said than done I know.
I wish you the best. You battling the underworld sis lol… you will resurface with a life saving gem and hopefully, the knowledge to use your head over heart. You got to with some of these mens. Gl

Oh and the Neptune lol…I’m basically a Virgo and even that gets me in dreamlike state with love a love bubble feeling. It’s just awful I hate it lol. The bubble pops end up chasing dragons lol

YES. Thats it!!! If this is the case, we may have found the problem.
Darn it, is that where the intensity is coming from??

Mad Madam, I woke up to your comment this morning, and I read it with an understanding only one who already knows the problem can have.

My Lilith is in Sagittarius, and this man's entire astrological signature is Sagittarian. It feels exactly like that - like all the wild, untamed parts of me are meeting all the wild, untamed parts of him, and there is a recognition unlike anything I've ever experienced.

To tell you that the physical connection between us is intoxicating would be a mild understatement. When we are together, I feel like a sorceress. I feel that I can be myself, the thing I am at the very center of my sexuality. On top of it, whatever he is fits perfectly with what I need. Period. There is an exchange of raw power between us at the physical and emotional levels that I didn’t think was possible. That's just how it feels.

BUT, that power can be so destructive.

I know Elena mentioned the Lilith-South Node conjunction before, but because there is very limited information about it online, I didn't really focus on it.

We can sit here and talk about how we're a bad match and our charts are afflicted, and on and on. The problem is that there is something else between us that is powerful enough to keep things going, for good or bad. That's what I've been struggling with, and I needed, for my own sake, to understand it a bit better.
 

Humanitarian

Well-known member
What does this mean, Humanitarian?

... and does it have to destroy a relationship, or can it be used in a non-destructive way?
It can be used in a non-destructive way though, since South Node is similar to Neptune (cited by Nexus7's article of the Nodes presented by Lillyjgc on Ed Board), so in synastry, that means the Lilith person liberates the Neptune person in a feminist way, and the Neptune person liberates Lilith person in a spiritually positive way.
 

Mad Madam Mimm

Well-known member
It can be used in a non-destructive way though, since South Node is similar to Neptune (cited by Nexus7's article of the Nodes presented by Lillyjgc on Ed Board), so in synastry, that means the Lilith person liberates the Neptune person in a feminist way, and the Neptune person liberates Lilith person in a spiritually positive way.
South node AkA cauda draconis . Forgive the spelling might be off. Pretty sure it’s ruled by Scorpio , or at least some element is. You might find more info looking into its real name, Tail of the dragon.
I just call it *******, cause that’s what’s back there in the south node if
You don’t run lol
 

Mad Madam Mimm

Well-known member
It can be used in a non-destructive way though, since South Node is similar to Neptune (cited by Nexus7's article of the Nodes presented by Lillyjgc on Ed Board), so in synastry, that means the Lilith person liberates the Neptune person in a feminist way, and the Neptune person liberates Lilith person in a spiritually positive way.
South node AkA cauda draconis . Forgive the spelling might be off. Pretty sure it’s ruled by Scorpio , or at least some element is. You might find more info looking into its real name, Tail of the dragon.
I just call it *******, cause that’s what’s back there in the south node if
You don’t run lol
YES. Thats it!!! If this is the case, we may have found the problem.
Darn it, is that where the intensity is coming from??

Mad Madam, I woke up to your comment this morning, and I read it with an understanding only one who already knows the problem can have.

My Lilith is in Sagittarius, and this man's entire astrological signature is Sagittarian. It feels exactly like that - like all the wild, untamed parts of me are meeting all the wild, untamed parts of him, and there is a recognition unlike anything I've ever experienced.

To tell you that the physical connection between us is intoxicating would be a mild understatement. When we are together, I feel like a sorceress. I feel that I can be myself, the thing I am at the very center of my sexuality. On top of it, whatever he is fits perfectly with what I need. Period. There is an exchange of raw power between us at the physical and emotional levels that I didn’t think was possible. That's just how it feels.

BUT, that power can be so destructive.

I know Elena mentioned the Lilith-South Node conjunction before, but because there is very limited information about it online, I didn't really focus on it.

We can sit here and talk about how we're a bad match and our charts are afflicted, and on and on. The problem is that there is something else between us that is powerful enough to keep things going, for good or bad. That's what I've been struggling with, and I needed, for my own sake, to understand it a bit better.
 

Mad Madam Mimm

Well-known member
Aww yea , that’s a humdinger. I got my specs on today. I must say, I would have put money that you’re a Pisces lol… nothing against them. It’s the self sacrificing aspect you seem keen on subjecting yourself to. I’m just getting 12 house vibes. Enjoy this ride why it lasts. When you find your love, bet you look back at this chapter and say thank you!!! What a relief to feel peaceful and accepted. Love shouldn’t hurt. Lessons do. I’d make it a short one lol. You’re real dude prolly out there waiting for you to go “North.”
 

LilianaS

Member
Aww yea , that’s a humdinger. I got my specs on today. I must say, I would have put money that you’re a Pisces lol… nothing against them. It’s the self sacrificing aspect you seem keen on subjecting yourself to. I’m just getting 12 house vibes. Enjoy this ride why it lasts. When you find your love, bet you look back at this chapter and say thank you!!! What a relief to feel peaceful and accepted. Love shouldn’t hurt. Lessons do. I’d make it a short one lol. You’re real dude prolly out there waiting for you to go “North.”

lol! Your comments genuinely make me laugh out loud.
I didn't think I was the self-sacrificing kind of Pisces... more of the self-indulgent kind. But I suppose in this situation maybe it amounts to the same thing.

Thank you so much, Mad Madam - I appreciate your input on this.
 

LilianaS

Member
South node AkA cauda draconis . Forgive the spelling might be off. Pretty sure it’s ruled by Scorpio , or at least some element is. You might find more info looking into its real name, Tail of the dragon.
I just call it *******, cause that’s what’s back there in the south node if
You don’t run lol
So in that case, strong contacts with the south node between people are not exactly a good thing...
 

Mad Madam Mimm

Well-known member
So in that case, strong contacts with the south node between people are not exactly a good thing...
I don’t feel qualified enough to answer. However, in my chart planets aspecting my north node are emphasized.I would guess this is universal🤷‍♀️
Conjuncts speak for themselves… soo, def work to do over there.
 
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