Depression...the unspoken enigma

[star2858]

Hi there,

I have posted on this board many times before. Here i raise a frequently discussed topic but never quite understood.

Can astrology help someone to understand why they are getting depressed, what's 'wrong' with them, their character or their well-being.

I think astrology can give me answers to why i feel depressed, constantly. Maybe it's not depression at all. I can behave, look and act normally and have done so throughout my life. But there are many cracks. In these cracks, within them, lies a very insecure, scared and afraid person.

Please do not advise me to seek help, i was given the all clear. The problem seems to lie with my sudden and abrupt mood swings, in which i become irritable, rude and non-interested in things generally. I think the 12th house placement are making me see life through rose-tinted glasses, dreaming away, so that reality hits hard.

Saturn is currently conjuncting mercury and has been for the last few weeks or so, this probably explains my behaviour. I just been through my saturn square saturn at 21, which was hellish.

It was through this transit i discovered my sexuality and realised that i may well be a bisexual. Although i am in a straight relationship right now.

These days, small upsetting things 'trigger' me into thinking of how much my life ***** and that i'm worthless and that i hope i die. I find myself thinking things like 'i wish i was dead so i wouldn't have to think about this'. Or that 'i feel like hurting myself so the pain would subside'.

I think things are going well for me and stuff as well! I got a job at a law firm recently, which i was lucky in doing so, given the recession in the UK. Just graduated. Great boyfriend, marriage soon.

My life feels like it's over before it's started. Didn't Kurt Cobain feel like this?

As for my natal chart, well the intense saturn squares are giving me much anxiety and fear. My moon in the 12th is adding to the increasing feeling of loneliness. The moon is uncomfortable in Aries and it's not helping me. I have great drive and ambition, hence the successful career (taurus rising, aries presence).

The huge Virgo presence is making me anxious and stressed. Moon trines saturn exactly...adding intense pressure. I feel like going to sleep and waking up in the future.

I feel trapped in the world. Trapped as an individual. I feel like i need someone to guide me properly through things. Like i need someone with me everytime my mood 'swings' to the dark side so that i don't have to fear me doing something bad to myself or something!

Feels like boyfriend has no time for me. I have few friends because i am quite an erratic person, although being Indian, i think a bit too open-minded for the average likeness, which has caused others to drift away.

Does anyone have any insights, maybe through the natal charts, of ways of directing my restless energy? Feel feel to share similar experiences.

 

[wilsontc]

mood swings, to star

star,

You said:

Can astrology help someone to understand why they are getting depressed, what's 'wrong' with them, their character or their well-being. I think astrology can give me answers to why i feel depressed, constantly...Please do not advise me to seek help, i was given the all clear. The problem seems to lie with my sudden and abrupt mood swings, in which i become irritable, rude and non-interested in things generally. I think the 12th house placement are making me see life through rose-tinted glasses, dreaming away, so that reality hits hard...Does anyone have any insights, maybe through the natal charts, of ways of directing my restless energy? Feel feel to share similar experiences.

You have in your birthchart (spirituality, also confusion) (energy needs to be combined with) (home, also emotions), indicating confusion with your emotions (more here: http://www.astrologyweekly.com/astrological-aspects/moon-square-neptune.php ). You also have (being, also anger) (friends, also rebellion), indicating rebellious anger. Right now transiting (transformation) is going over your birth indicating a time of "unconfusion", when you see things clearly. This is a LONG transit, so you have lots of time to develop an awareness of your emotions, anger, and of the things which "set you off", so you can stay calmer when things don't go the way you want.

Unconfusedly,

Tim

 

[waybread]

Re: mood swings, to star

Your natal Mercury (thoughts, communication) makes few major aspects: really just one, which is a square to Neptune. This is kind of a classic signature for pessimistic thinking, if not full clinical depression; because Neptune here just creates a lot of feelings of disillusionment. It is important to realize that Neptune is not the planet of realism, so things may not be as bad as you think they are. As Tim pointed out, Neptune square moon could also be a recipe for disillusioned (Neptune) feelings (Moon). And it's not as though you don't understandably feel a lot of stress, with that big pressure-cooker of a square to your sun/Mars/Venus trio! Note that Uranus deals with sudden upsets, which may be part of your big square's expression.

If you are contemplating suicide yet were given an "all clear" by your MD or therapist, you either should return to him/her saying that you are not better, or else seek some other health care professionals.

Please forgive a rather preachy tone from "Aunt Waybread" because I believe the following will help, if you are not doing them already.

1. Get a good physical check-up. It is possible that your moods have a physical cause. Clinical depression, also, is an illness, not some kind of moral failure to make an effort to be happy.

2. I went through some horrible mood-swings when I was in my 30s, which I finally realized were PMS-related. There is now a lot of info on the Internet relating to natural diet and exercise solutions to this common yet debilitating problem for women.

3. Get some real outdoor sunshine on your retinas every day before 10:00a.m. Do this via a brisk power-walk, jogging, or perhaps some other form of outdoor exercise. People who do this have lower rates of depression than people who don't. If you don't live in a safe neighbourhood, hopefully your fiance (or dog) will accompany you. Or maybe take the bus only part way to work, then walk the rest of the way. The sunshine is a good way to combat SADS, which shouldn't bother you this time of year, but might in winter.

4. If you consume any of the following, do your best to cut them out of your life: refined flour, sugar, coffee, tobacco, alcohol (except for a little wine or beer), and drugs. When you have something like coffee with sugar, your body revs up for a while, but then crashes.

5. Everyday, plan something [non-habit-forming, that is] that perks up your mood. Put fresh flowers on the table. Light candles in the evening. Get some dried lavander flowers and inhale their scent: it is very stress-reducing. If you live near a large body of water, like the ocean, plan at least a weekly outing there. Whether it's JS Bach, jazz, or heavy metal, play music that helps you work through your feelings.

6. Yoga has helped an awful lot of people with depression who didn't want to take medications. Take up yoga or a similar mind-body discipline like tai chi. But rather than doing this home alone all the time, take a class or join a group.

7. Join a few organizations or clubs. Take a cooking class or somesuch. Something that puts you in circulation and in contact with people. You don't have to become close friends. Just fill up your time with activities that give you new experiences and a change of scene, so that you break the "home alone" feeling that leads to depression.

Good luck with this, star2858!

 

[star2858]

Re: mood swings, to star

Your natal Mercury (thoughts, communication) makes few major aspects: really just one, which is a square to Neptune. This is kind of a classic signature for pessimistic thinking, if not full clinical depression; because Neptune here just creates a lot of feelings of disillusionment. It is important to realize that Neptune is not the planet of realism, so things may not be as bad as you think they are. As Tim pointed out, Neptune square moon could also be a recipe for disillusioned (Neptune) feelings (Moon). And it's not as though you don't understandably feel a lot of stress, with that big pressure-cooker of a square to your sun/Mars/Venus trio! Note that Uranus deals with sudden upsets, which may be part of your big square's expression.

If you are contemplating suicide yet were given an "all clear" by your MD or therapist, you either should return to him/her saying that you are not better, or else seek some other health care professionals.

Please forgive a rather preachy tone from "Aunt Waybread" because I believe the following will help, if you are not doing them already.

1. Get a good physical check-up. It is possible that your moods have a physical cause. Clinical depression, also, is an illness, not some kind of moral failure to make an effort to be happy.

2. I went through some horrible mood-swings when I was in my 30s, which I finally realized were PMS-related. There is now a lot of info on the Internet relating to natural diet and exercise solutions to this common yet debilitating problem for women.

3. Get some real outdoor sunshine on your retinas every day before 10:00a.m. Do this via a brisk power-walk, jogging, or perhaps some other form of outdoor exercise. People who do this have lower rates of depression than people who don't. If you don't live in a safe neighbourhood, hopefully your fiance (or dog) will accompany you. Or maybe take the bus only part way to work, then walk the rest of the way. The sunshine is a good way to combat SADS, which shouldn't bother you this time of year, but might in winter.

4. If you consume any of the following, do your best to cut them out of your life: refined flour, sugar, coffee, tobacco, alcohol (except for a little wine or beer), and drugs. When you have something like coffee with sugar, your body revs up for a while, but then crashes.

5. Everyday, plan something [non-habit-forming, that is] that perks up your mood. Put fresh flowers on the table. Light candles in the evening. Get some dried lavander flowers and inhale their scent: it is very stress-reducing. If you live near a large body of water, like the ocean, plan at least a weekly outing there. Whether it's JS Bach, jazz, or heavy metal, play music that helps you work through your feelings.

6. Yoga has helped an awful lot of people with depression who didn't want to take medications. Take up yoga or a similar mind-body discipline like tai chi. But rather than doing this home alone all the time, take a class or join a group.

7. Join a few organizations or clubs. Take a cooking class or somesuch. Something that puts you in circulation and in contact with people. You don't have to become close friends. Just fill up your time with activities that give you new experiences and a change of scene, so that you break the "home alone" feeling that leads to depression.

Good luck with this, star2858!

I think that the intense squares to the 5th house are giving me a lot of anxiety and fears about having children.

I think i will take up on some of the things you suggested. I went out yesterday night for the first time in ages. It felt so relieving i couldn't believe it at first.

I tend to generally find it difficult to separate reality from dreams and sometimes ask myself if someone actually said something i thought they did or not, since i've thought about it so much!!

I get escape into my little world whenever i want.

Depression is the silent killer. It eats away at you and you don't realise it.

Neptune is retrograde in the 8th house. I think the mercury/neptune connection has definitely given me my creative writing talent. This is the one skill which i was glad to be born with. The same for the moon/neptune connection.

I think Uranus is definitely to blame for the sudden outbursts and my erratic nature. It can be blamed for my mood swings.

 

[astrologer50]

It may also be helpful to research bi polar disorder. Definately your netpune is challenged, but if you do the Neptunian things, like meditiation, train the muscle called your brain to go within, you probably have some really good psychic ability and once you discover this can really really help others through service and perhaps working with spirit.

T Saturn going over your Virgo planets has prob made you feel depressed unloved and uncherished, but really what Saturn does is to 'test what is of value' to you, if something is not working a 'break' comes, so you can rebuild something better and stronger. At the end of the year T Uranus comes within 1' of retrograde opposite natal venus, which a relationship may break or someone want more freedom within it.

Prepare now for T Saturn going into Libra in December conj Mercury, you really need to be doing some study or research and keep your mind occupied at that time or it could make depression much worse. As your mercury is already square neptune, saturn will also come to square this which basically suggests a 'fear of the unknown'
Saturn and Neptune rule 11th and 9th Equal house system and 5th and 8th houses natally. So combining these placements, mercury in 5th house of creativity, romance, children, self employment may be at odds with sacrifices partners or whomever you share your finaces with
Saturn rules MC and 9th house of higher study/learning, duty responsibilities. Pisces/neptune rules 11th house of friendships...

Plus your venus is challenged by square to Saturn, feeling unloved from childhood, square to Uranus = divorce aspect too, needing freedom and independence within relationships. Saturn conj Uranus is also partly responsible saturn (duty responsibility,hard work) causing tension to your ideas of uniqueness individuality (uranus) ie: freedom v convention aspect.

Astrology is not about sitting home on the couch eating nachos and waiting for the planets to make good things happen in your life. It is always your responsibility to work towards making your own dreams come true. Horoscopes simply help you to schedule your actions for the best possible outcome
http://www.tomorrowsedge.net/virgo-monthly-astrology-horoscope.html

 

[star2858]

Hi there,

I do agree with you entirely.

My venus and mars in virgo both also square mars in virgo. The over-worrying complex is what gets me sometimes.

I think i might have borderline personality disorder, which is shocking. I don't want to talk to any doctors though, i don't trust them.

My boyfriend looks after me, when he can.

I think that neptunian things, like volunteer work and things like that, really satisfy and i may get back into that.

I wish my neptune was better aspected but at least it trine Jupiter in the 12th house.

I think i do have great psychic ability and i can accurately predict or foresee events and know how to react because i will have thought about it already.

 

[waybread]

Hi there,

I do agree with you entirely.

My venus and mars in virgo both also square mars in virgo. The over-worrying complex is what gets me sometimes.

I think i might have borderline personality disorder, which is shocking. I don't want to talk to any doctors though, i don't trust them.

My boyfriend looks after me, when he can.

I think that neptunian things, like volunteer work and things like that, really satisfy and i may get back into that.star2858, vinyasa

I wish my neptune was better aspected but at least it trine Jupiter in the 12th house.

I think i do have great psychic ability and i can accurately predict or foresee events and know how to react because i will have thought about it already.

star, vinyasa has given you good advice.

If you re-read your own posts as though you had not said them and as though they came from a total stranger, you may be able to detect why you haven't gotten yourself out of your own difficulties.

If you "don't trust doctors" then you have cut yourself off from what might be a sensible resolution to a potential medical problem. I don't trust some doctors, certainly. Like the MD I have now. But it wouldn't make sense to me to have no faith in the medical profession as a collective--doctors are a highly diverse group of people with different sets of skills, personalities, and specialties. Find one you do trust, and give him/her a try. Otherwise, what are your options: more of the same unhappiness for you?

I think it is cool that you have psychic abilities.... but they haven't gotten you out of your unhappiness to date. So you need to look further down the road.

I agree with vinyasa that expecting your BF to look after you--possibly with diagnosable mental health issues that need addressing--is an unfair burden to place on him. A partnership is not merely "50/50": it is 100/100, and you need to be fully present and supportive for him, also.

Neptune trine Jupiter suggests that you might benefit from a spiritual discipline. Again, please try yoga and see if, after 6 months or so, it makes a difference.

 

[star2858]

star, vinyasa has given you good advice.

I agree with vinyasa that expecting your BF to look after you--possibly with diagnosable mental health issues that need addressing--is an unfair burden to place on him. A partnership is not merely "50/50": it is 100/100, and you need to be fully present and supportive for him, also.

Neptune trine Jupiter suggests that you might benefit from a spiritual discipline. Again, please try yoga and see if, after 6 months or so, it makes a difference.

My boyfriend and I don't actually live together. In fact, both of us are always working and we don't have much time for each other. He is there for me, that's it. I don't think i am a burden for him. The huge virgo presence has meant that i help him a lot at home because he has a high-powered busy job. I also buy him clothes sometimes! In fact, i'm the one always saying i wanna help him make his life easier haha .

I think people find me a difficult person to understand. I have intense mood swings but Mercury in Libra and earthy Taurus ascendant has meant that my mental issues have never come in the way of anything major (i don't let it come in the way) In fact, everyone i know thinks i am normal. No one knows i have borderline pers disorder!

 

[neko senshi]

I don't believe anyone should take anti-depressants if they don't want to, but they have helped me tremendously. I am usually pretty cheerful, but was terribly moody before. I know some of it may come down to maturing naturally, and other things, but I know the pills help.
Depression runs in my family. I have Mercury in the 6th house squared Mars in the 3rd, which could pertain to the issue.

 

[kazman32]

I know how you feel , I deal with depression constantly, I have even been diagnosed as bi-polar..it is so hard to live like this, just wanted you to know your not alone and someone else feels the same (except for the bi sexual aspect)..I love women all kinds,shapes,sizes colors etc..but there are times my sex drive is below 0 and others its all I can think about, I do take a very non traditional med for depression but over time it seems like it helps less and less, I have been to so many psychs and on so many meds, I started wondering if astrology held the key...again I'm sorry for how you feel..I now how tough it is I'm actually on ssdi for bi-polar but I still work part time the best I can. Hang in there and your not alone!

 

[waybread]

I know how you feel , I deal with depression constantly, I have even been diagnosed as bi-polar..it is so hard to live like this, just wanted you to know your not alone and someone else feels the same (except for the bi sexual aspect)..I love women all kinds,shapes,sizes colors etc..but there are times my sex drive is below 0 and others its all I can think about, I do take a very non traditional med for depression but over time it seems like it helps less and less, I have been to so many psychs and on so many meds, I started wondering if astrology held the key...again I'm sorry for how you feel..I now how tough it is I'm actually on ssdi for bi-polar but I still work part time the best I can. Hang in there and your not alone!

You have a very remarkable chart! I am looking at your big stellium in Gemini with that close square; plus two yods in your chart, one pointing to Neptune and one to Saturn. I think you must feel under a lot of pressure, a lot of the time. But also, I suspect that you know an awful lot about many different fields; and that the key to some release for you may be to find a constructive way to express what you know.

Have you tried yoga? It has helped many bipolar people, and may help you to balance the needs of your Neptune and Saturn-tipped yods.

 

[kazman32]

I haven't tried yoga but I work out with weights and do a lot of walking on my job, I used to be involved with martial arts when I was younger, other people have suggested yoga so maybe I will start to try and educate myself on the subject.

 

[waybread]

Kazman, working out and walking sound really good. Hopefully yoga will be beneficial as well. It really helped a family member of mine who is bi-polar and had bad experiences with medication. Many places have low-cost classes at community centers, night school, the YMCA, and so on. And yes, I think astrology will be helpful as well, but it can take a lot of study! But as you are majoring in Gemini in this lifetime, you might enjoy learning all if its different techniques and lore. Astrology is one discipline that truly addresses the question, "Why am I on the planet?"

 

[freedomlover]

Kazman,

I think it's interesting that you are getting recommendations for trying yoga. If I'm not mistaken, Gemini rules flexibility in general. Saturn in Aries rules your 6th house of health and the Mind/Body connection. Aries has to do with your head/brain area. Saturn in Aries sextiles your Gemini stelliuim. In addition,Virgo is on the cusp of your 3rd house. Mercury Rx in Gemini rules your 3rd. Pluto/Uranus in Virgo are in your 3rd house as well. Uranus has to do with the kundalini. It seems to me that your chart would be saying plainly and repeatedly that yoga-type things ( tai-chi, and qui gong may qualify, as well) would be a major thing for you to learn in this life. It seems it would get you out of your head and into your body more. All that Gemini energy can make one very "in their head"/spacey, etc. It would be very grounding for you, is what I think I'm trying to say.

FL

 

[kazman32]

Thank you both for your help and advice! I attend the local Y to work out ( I used to be a competitive bodybuilder *cough* obsessed *cough*) I have chilled out since getting older but I'm almost positive they offer Yoga classes. I will make it a point to talk to them next time I go.


Thank you again!


Kev

 

[Valis]

Re: mood swings, to star

2. I went through some horrible mood-swings when I was in my 30s, which I finally realized were PMS-related. There is now a lot of info on the Internet relating to natural diet and exercise solutions to this common yet debilitating problem for women.

Hormones should always be considered. I have a phase in my cycle where cheese ads make me cry. It's got something to do with pregnancy hormones. I was on the pill once for three months and never again! I was so depressed. Now I had my first baby just 5 months ago and the pregnancy months plus the time leading up to now I've been totally not myself. I'm just getting back to who I am slowly but surely. Hormones are always a possible culprit. The change in personality and mood sneaks up on you and before you know it you're sitting alone in a dark room with a towel over your head.

I also have the venus and saturn square aspect with saturn in the seventh and I atleast have experienced it as restrictions in relationships and I have always been very serious about intimate relationships, unless I overcompensate pretending to be not serious at all.
For affective problems doing a form of art can help bring peace of mind: some watercolours maybe, or poetry?

Mars uranus square- Doing a little yoga was helpful (did it as part of singing lessons) but so was screaming and rolling around on stage too. Very relaxing to let it all out, constructively.

I suffered from post traumatic stress at one point of my life and depression. I became very timid and akward. To try and help myself I had "dates" with myself where I would look on the map a place that seemed interesting, or uninteresting or whatever tickled my fancy and went on my own to explore. I took a good book or a diary and spent leasurely time in cafes, had dinner with myself, did art shows or rummaged through shops. I tried to imagine myself and my space expanding further. Lifting up your head and really looking around when you walk outside helps alot! Keep your eyes on the horizon! Dare yourself to do things that are out of your comfort zone. Take a holiday by yourself. Take up more space on the Metro or the bus (I sat like a dude on purpose because I noticed I had timidly tucked myself as small as possible). Enjoy nature. Look at all the pretty colors! Do whatever you enjoy.