Crossing Chiron/Pluto (DOUBLE WHAMMY BADDIE!)

guardian00angel

Active member
Hi! First things first, I had no idea I was already part of this community! :LOL:

I was looking for a forum where I can talk about my issue and this website looked welcoming!
When I wanted to register, it said I was already a member and I was like HUH?
It seems I haven't been on here for 4 years! But I don't remember what it looked like then... But I like this current layout, appearance, use of smileys and etc. 😊 (But my username looks weird with a letter not in place! lol)
Before my last login in 2018, I talked about my Dark Night of the Soul and listed some transits that I believe were part of it.
I was going through a very lonely, depressing, and challenging time for over 10 years... I'm still within it, but things are more manageable since then...

During my Dark Night of the Soul, I was (still am) always focused on healing, past lives, past traumas, and I felt unable to join in on society or even make friends. I always felt like an open wound wherever I went. You know when something tragic happens to you, for example, say that someone in your family died, it'll be hard to go back to everyday life for a while, but in time, people are able to do so. But imagine that my family member died and I'm in a state of sorrow that never gets better. I always feel "sore," as if someone in my life died yesterday....But it's been like that for OVER 10 YEARS!

I was told that having friends and socializing is important for me (I have Venus, Mercury, and Moon in Gemini 4th House), but when I try to converse with people, I get this strong feeling of being bruised within me and I have to be alone...

Pluto has been transiting the 12th House for over 10 years, so I reasoned that it was part of the problem, but then I looked into Astrocartography and found this!


Screenshot (4).png


(I didn't know it was 11:11 AM when I took the screenshot, so I kept it in hehe)

Currently, where I live, I have Crossing ChironMC / PlutoAC and Crossing ChironAC / PlutoIC.
I also have Chiron square MC and I'm about 240 km away from a Pluto line, and I sometimes go there because of family, and I'm about 120 km away from a Mercury line, which might induce my unhealthy overthinking.

I don't want to live here anymore, it doesn't feel like home to me, but I have no place to go.
I feel mentally, emotionally, and psychologically wounded and alone 😿
Materialistically, I'm fine, I've got food and a roof over my head, I live with my parents, so I don't have to worry about rent money,
but inside, I feel like I'm in a dry desert. There's barely anything to quench the thirst within me. I reach out for help, but so many do not understand me.
Those who have helped me can only help with so little... I feel like an open wound that can't close and must always take shelter :sad:

There are events and festivals I've missed because I felt like a fish out of water. It's like metaphorically, everyone's having fun in the ocean, but the water they swim in, doesn't affect me like them. I can't absorb and be receptive to the flow of fun and jolly.
I sometimes have fun with my family, but then "the wounded me" comes out and I need to be alone...
I wanted to feel connected to someone again...

I booked an astrocartography reading with someone for the end of the month, and I'm excited for answers and insights!

I'm open to any replies and stories of staying at a similar crossing or even a Chiron line.

Many thanks for reading! 💗
 
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