Thank you so much for this response, Julia! Your description of my Yod is so hopeful and beautiful. It really resonates too with the feelings I have, that I am a victim, but also that I will live to be 100 years old. Perhaps I've already been a victim, and I just need to let that go. It may also explain a sensation I have sometimes. I mix up dread and regret, as though my sense of horror has no sense of time.
I think we are very similar in our approaches to the esoteric and occult, but while I have fought my own connection to it at times, you've embraced it! I've studied the major religions as well and am drawn to Wicca (and more precisely, to the mostly lost traditions it's based on) and to Taoism. They're very similar to my mind, though practiced differently, and the idea of amoral duality makes a lot of sense to me. I like Zen too. I feel a connection to the Earth, trees specifically. I have an oak tree in the backyard that I feel I've bonded with.
And then I laugh at myself for having these ideas, because I'm a Gemini sun.
I'm pretty deep into the study of Tarot as well. I just bought a new deck that examines Tarot from the point of view of a Zen master. I am fascinated by lost mystics, such as those of Atlantis and the druids. I also feel strong connections to Pagan Scandinavia and Egypt, though I've not really studied either much. I like mythology, in general. I usually approach it as a fiction writer.
I keep meaning to keep a dream journal, but starting new good habits is not my strong suit.
What types of clairvoyance do you experience? You mentioned that idea that I remember being persecuted for clairvoyance in past lives, so I assume you think certain souls carry this with us through lives?
Thanks so much again,
Yes feelings of victimhood are quite common with a Pisces Moon. And the aspects to the moon tell the story of why. I do think those feelings originate from past lives, and yes, it is time to let go of them. That is really interesting about dread/regret feelings. Yes the fluidity of the past time line.
You sound like an elemental, perhaps your Taurus ASC and Venus color everything. Your connection to trees is so typical of a Taurus!
I have not always embraced spirituality. I would say I have fought with it a great deal. I am cynical and questioning. But through all my study and experience, I came to believe there is much more than the earth plane, and a Higher Power does exist. And I could not continue to deny my psychic/spiritual abilities. I personally think it is a good thing to keep questioning and have some healthy skepticism to avoid going off the new age deep end.
I am a military brat, father was career military, and I spent a big chunk of my child hood growing up in the Far East. I didn't realize it the time, but Eastern religion and philosophy seems to have permeated my own belief system. I was surrounded by a culture which practiced Zen, Buddhist, Shinto, whether in a formal religious ceremony or just making tea or arranging flowers. All sacred events.
Your Gem Sun fits. It is an inquisitive and versatile sign. There can also be a duality with this sign. A normal public persona, and then a private one that can be quite different. Gemini and Mercury do well combined with psychic planets and signs, gives both a logical and intuitive approach to problem solving.
Can you say more about amoral duality? is this the idea that everything is both good and bad?
Oh that sounds interesting, Zen Master Tarot. I will have to google that. This is a good example of a your Gemini (mercury) and Pisces Moon. Requires learning the mechanics, rules, symbolism of Tarot and then using intuitive abilities as well.
I prefer occult activities that use both right and left brain, an intuitive intelligence. Mercury rules my watery chart.
I find mythology enormously helpful in the study of astrology. Whenever I am puzzled by a sign or planet meaning, I go back to the basic greek or roman mythology. If you are interested in Scandinavian Pagan history, I highly recommend the TV series THE VIKINGS. I was totally transported back to the 8th century pagan Viking era, totally mesmerizing.
Oh yes, we are souls who live forever, and most of us have incarnated many times. We carry the imprints from those lives with us, as shown in our natal charts. We carry deeply entrenched unconscious feelings, beliefs and patterns. The Moon represents past lives, so we can see many past lives for you as a psychic.
If a dream journal doesn't come easy for you, then work on your Tarot. I believe in following my nose and doing things that are interesting, and call my name!
In terms of psychic abilities, I have psychic dreams, am clairvoyant, have a psychic knowing, and mediumship. Some things I enjoy more than others. And sometimes I work on psychic projects, sometimes I just do more normal things.