Chart reading.. help with focus?

Xibalba

Well-known member
I have spent most of my youth finding it hard to focus and settling on what I want to do with my life. In school my major has changed from chemistry -> chemical engineering -> mechanical engineering; in less than 3 years.... Even day to day I find it hard to concentrate on even small / mundane tasks, especially when at school. What should I do to find focus and purpose and steer away from elaborate daydreams? It is also hard for me to articulate myself (communication and in terms of emotion), when I'm around other people; have a need to sort of retreat after a while.

Was thinking that this definitely has something to do with my Moon in Scorpio / Mercury in Pisces :p

In any case, what can I do to grow / develop, so that my view of my goals can appear less 'fuzzy'?

My basic information

Sun March 26, 1989 (Easter Sunday, if that means anything :confused:)
Sun in Aries (maybe a Pisces cusp?), Moon in Scorpio
Ascendant: Virgo
 

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wilsontc

Staff member
creative research, to Xibalba

Xibalba,

You said:
Xibalba said:
I have spent most of my youth finding it hard to focus and settling on what I want to do with my life. In school my major has changed from chemistry -> chemical engineering -> mechanical engineering; in less than 3 years.... Even day to day I find it hard to concentrate on even small / mundane tasks, especially when at school. What should I do to find focus and purpose and steer away from elaborate daydreams?...In any case, what can I do to grow / develop, so that my view of my goals can appear less 'fuzzy'?

You have many squares (energy needs to be combined with) planets in your 5th house (self-expression, also creativity) and the 8th house (transformation, also research). You also have Scorpio (transformation, also research) modifying Pluto (transformation, also research) focused in the 3rd house (thinking). All of this indicates you have an ability to do creative research, research that opens up whole new areas of thinking. In short, you can be an "idea person". This means that it may be helpful to get that broad learning in many different areas, so you have a lot of "material" to do your research in.

Thinking broadly,

Tim
 

R4VEN

Well-known member
Check this out, Xibalba:

http://www.astrologyweekly.com/astrological-aspects/sun-square-neptune.php

and while you're there, look up Venus square Neptune, cos you're going to need to be on top of that one!!

I believe in keeping things as simple as possible, and dealing with things one step at a time. The set-up you have of squares (lots of `em) between your 5th & 8th houses is quite jarring, so you should study these and work out how it is they are currently affecting you.
 

Xibalba

Well-known member
R4VEN said:
Check this out, Xibalba:

http://www.astrologyweekly.com/astrological-aspects/sun-square-neptune.php

and while you're there, look up Venus square Neptune, cos you're going to need to be on top of that one!!

I believe in keeping things as simple as possible, and dealing with things one step at a time. The set-up you have of squares (lots of `em) between your 5th & 8th houses is quite jarring, so you should study these and work out how it is they are currently affecting you.

That sounds like me quiet a bit..very disquieting.

I usually avoid my studies until the last minute, homework too.. It's not that things are hard to understand, it's just that it's easier to create a mental list of excuses for why I didn't do better.."after all, if I had studied earlier, I would have understood..." it's a safe place, though also ineffective. If I don't understand the existing I will not be able to build on it and establish areas / invent things that that did not exist before, which is my dream..

The clash of wills bit was with my mom, not my dad.

(The last part of the article sounds scary... maybe I'm still not ready... :()

What does the 'squares' thing mean? :confused:
 

R4VEN

Well-known member
Xibalba said:
What does the 'squares' thing mean? :confused:
http://www.astrology.com/aboutastrology/interpreting/aspectsandorbs/square.html

If you truly wish to understand yourself better, and to work with the planetary arrangements you have (and not with the ones you wish you had), then knowledge is power.

The above link explains squares. The website astrologyweekly.com has many pages of information for the beginner. There are also good books around.

http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=12556

The above article on this website is worth reading. If you do the work, and can gather some tools for reading your own chart, then this can be very self-empowering.
 

Xibalba

Well-known member
R4VEN said:
Check this out, Xibalba:

http://www.astrologyweekly.com/astrological-aspects/sun-square-neptune.php

and while you're there, look up Venus square Neptune, cos you're going to need to be on top of that one!!

I believe in keeping things as simple as possible, and dealing with things one step at a time. The set-up you have of squares (lots of `em) between your 5th & 8th houses is quite jarring, so you should study these and work out how it is they are currently affecting you.
I have FOURTEEN SQUARES in my chart!!!! :eek:

If I resolve the major ones (I'm guessing Sun/Venus square Neptune), will the rest follow?
 
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R4VEN

Well-known member
Xibalba said:
I have 12 SQUARES in my chart!!!! :eek:

If I resolve the major ones (I'm guessing Sun/Venus square Neptune), will the rest follow?
Baby steps, mate, baby steps. You have your whole lifetime, and.................

You never ever have to look for ways to work with squares, or whatever, because when it comes time to work through a block of some kind which a square may describe, then the circumstances will arise in your life within which an opportunity exists for maturation of your personality.

There will be a rhythm to your life for the purposes of unraveling this. It's not exactly like someone tossing you a gigantic fishing net and setting you the task of untangling it....... `help' will emerge when you need it.

Self-awareness and self-knowledge is the first step. :69:
 

CappyLeo

Active member
Xibalba, I feel for you & only wish I had the introspective curiosity you have at that age. As you, I have many squares with a Scorpio venus conjunct neptune in the 4th house. It seems as if our personal issues so strongly influence our outward place in life. And just when you think you've processed one challenging aspect of yourself, another comes to the surface to be reckoned with. And oh how easy it is to become discouraged & want to throw-in the towel.

From personal experience, I've actually learned to appreciate these difficult aspects especially after comparing them to others, over the years, who seem to of had a more light & breezy type of chart. Where I have excelled or overcame, they have only taken it for granted & eventually regressed or never progressed at all. It's kind of like What won't kill ya will only make ya stronger but beyond your own expectations. Pay attention to those transits & progressions for opportunities to grow. When my sun progressed into Aquarius, it was like someone had lifted a veil. Don't look at it as a road filled with boulders but as an experience only reserved for the tough few.
 

Sagmoon

Well-known member
Think about resonance and nitro compouds;) and don't give up. I think hard aspects to your MC can be quite difficult in terms of finding what you want to do in life but remember all hard work always leads to something better even if you do something different in the end. I think chemistry might have attracted you because of the scorpio influence. If you stick with sciences you can still change your major in uni up to second year :) Though I am not sure how it works in us?

Edit: ps there are many, in fact most people who do their homework at the last minute, I have to do some chemistry online test now, and it's due tomorrow...
 
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Xibalba

Well-known member
Sagmoon said:
Think about resonance and nitro compouds;) and don't give up. I think hard aspects to your MC can be quite difficult in terms of finding what you want to do in life but remember all hard work always leads to something better even if you do something different in the end. I think chemistry might have attracted you because of the scorpio influence. If you stick with sciences you can still change your major in uni up to second year :) Though I am not sure how it works in us?

I'm a junior / third year. And I HATE chemistry. I'm in mechanical engineering.

[deleted swear - Moderator]
 
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Sagmoon

Well-known member
Xibalba said:
I'm a junior / third year. And I HATE chemistry. I'm in mechanical engineering.
Lol to be honest I'm thinking of changing my major, as I hate chemistry too, now :) Well mechanical engineering is great, do they torture you with a lot of physics? I am just curious now...


Thinking about your squares, the main ones I think might be the square to saturn and neptune, you might be swinging between responsibility and escapism and have to balance that out.
 
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Xibalba

Well-known member
Sagmoon said:
Lol to be honest I'm thinking of changing my major, as I hate chemistry too, now :) Well mechanical engineering is great, do they torture you with a lot of physics? I am just curious now...


Thinking about your squares, the main ones I think might be the square to saturn and neptune, you might be swinging between responsibility and escapism and have to balance that out.

I've 'escaped' since childhood to the point of having elaborate, saga like daydreams. It's just better. I don't know. Reality (for me at least) has been a consistent boring / disappointing alloy. That's why I started this thread.

It's time to 'wake up', I guess. :p

Yeah I'd been thinking about mechanical engineering since the spring of my first year. I finally switched the spring of my second year and haven't looked back. Yes, it's based on physics, the best of the sciences. I'm sorry, but I really hate chemistry. I switched when I realized all the internships I found in chemical engineering were horrid, and all the amazing ones were reserved for mechanical and aerospace engineers. After the switch was the first time I liked / appreciated ALL my classes. Plus, my classmates are better (maybe that's just my anti-all-things-chemistry bias..)

I don't know. I want to be an inventor or a work in space travel or research, so I know me and chemistry won't be seeing each other for awhile (*cough* never *cough), unless I decide to go on to medical school as opposed to graduate school for astronautical or mechatrics, and even then the chemistry there will only be relative to biology :cool:, which is ALMOST as cool as physics.


I mean fizzix.
 

Sagmoon

Well-known member
Xibalba said:
I don't know. I want to be an inventor or a work in space travel or research, so I know me and chemistry won't be seeing each other for awhile (*cough* never *cough), unless I decide to go on to medical school as opposed to graduate school for astronautical or mechatrics, and even then the chemistry there will only be relative to biology :cool:, which is ALMOST as cool as physics.


I mean fizzix.
It is very interesting as I have hard aspects from satrun and neptune, but they do not conjunct and mercury in 4th house, plus cancer rising. I tend to escape a lot too but I love the sciences and wish I would've done fizzix before! Now am stuck with bloody chemistry for this year(the labs are most painful)! And will have to go back a year in physics... Life..but I'm looking forward to physics, straight, no engineering for me for sure :) I get to be a mature student too, which really undermines me...

I guess there is no good answer to your feelings, just look within and try to focus and one day you'll learn more about yourself to be able to function more smoothly:).
 
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Xibalba

Well-known member
Sagmoon said:
It is very interesting as I have hard aspects from satrun and neptune, but they do not conjunct and mercury in 4th house, plus cancer rising. I tend to escape a lot too but I love the sciences and wish I would've done fizzix before! Now am stuck with bloody chemistry for this year(the labs are most painful)! And will have to go back a year in physics... Life..but I'm looking forward to physics, straight, no engineering for me for sure :) I get to be a mature student too, which really undermines me...

I guess there is no good answer to your feelings, just look within and try to focus and one day you'll learn more about yourself to be able to function more smoothly:).

My advice to you is to consider the options you're going to have after graduation, and COP OUT ASAP of a major that you don't like.

For me, my course load is pretty dense since I switched pretty late. I would definitely have benefited from having the courage and presence of mind to jump ship as a first year!
 

Sagmoon

Well-known member
I have to correct myself: my ultimate dream is to do astrophysics.. now that would be cool, but lots of work, major change... :rolleyes:
 
Hi, you have had some really good advice upto now, so will just add a few things.

The 'aspects' in your natal chart are like 'facets' of your personality and they are broken down into compartments to show different things, like the way you communicate, relate and where you shine. They are internal things, espec squares which cause inner tension.

These squares will be 'triggered' by transiting planets and presently T Uranus is 22' Pisces and will firstly go over your thinking and then venus, then sun sign, which will challenge your communications (mercury) first, then venus yoiur relationships and usually one will break when this happens, then sun sign where you may become bit eccentric, want to be more individualistic and wants more freedom to do unusual things....
http://www.khaldea.com/ephemcenter.shtml will help you find the exact timings...

Your natal moon is quite well aspected with opp to Jupiter in 10th, nice trine to mercury and venus from 3rd house of communications. The conjunction is very wide orb of 10' which if felt may well make you rather obsessive, controlling and demanding emotionally within contacts.

Sun square Saturn, showed your father (or father figure) was restrictive and prob didn't get on with him/her
Sun square Uranus = impatient and wanting to do something unusual that involves your pride. http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13124
Sun square Neptune, suggests you may not have a clear image of yourself or others http://www.cafeastrology.com/natal/sunneptuneaspects.html

http://www.cafeastrology.com/natal/planetsaspectsastrology.html

Saturn conj Neptune, is fear of unknown, poss father crushed your dreams and aspirations in childhood.
Your Venus has 3 squares, one to uranus =typical divorce aspect
venus square Neptune =romantic disillusionment
Venus square Saturn= felt unloved or uncherished from childhood and will always prob feel that you have to 'give out' twice as much love as that you receive back....

I'm a modern astrologer that uses Equal house system and your chart is calculated using Placidus. Lots of people that come into Astrology get their free charts calculated at www.astro.com and the default ‘house system’ used is Placidus and think that’s just the norm and all that there is……..BUT that is just the tip of the iceberg. You can change the default on astro.com in Extended Chart selection to Equal house and a few more.

Throughout the forums but mainly in natal astrology there are two main branches Placidus (unequal size houses) v Equal House (whereby each house is same size) but lots more……. For more information on these go here.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_(astrology)#Description
http://www.astrolozy.com/article19.asp

SO. Sagittarius rules your 4th house cusp and Jupiter its ruler is placed in 10th house BUT Jupiter and Mars are both quincunxed to planets
Mars quincunx neptune and Jupiter to Uranus


Mars Quincunx (Inconjunct) Neptune

Your idealism and inflated expectations of others and life can lead you into very frustrating circumstances where you feel emotionally and physically drained. Your energy and emotions strengthen as you learn how and where to be involved in other people's projects. You have difficulty learning realistic boundaries with others and realistic limits as to what you can expect from yourself. Artistic expression can help give form to your humanitarian temperament.
http://www.cafeastrology.com/natal/quincunxinterpretations.html
Jupiter Quincunx (Inconjunct) Uranus

Overly ambitious, you have an intuitive grasp of the big picture, which stems from optimum flexibility of your values. You are easily led by your impulses to quickly adjust to deep changes in your values. Without discipline you will be in trouble because your enthusiasm will carry you into uncharted waters. Expression of your energy can get you into trouble. Slowly, you learn to harness this expression into something truly creative.

Also Mars Neptune quincunx to me suggests that you will be drawn to questionable relationships... seem drawn to them. Tendency to dismiss or overlook pertinent factors as insignificant until you realise too late and that you should have paid more attention....

Jupiter Uranus quincunx to me suggests flashes of intuition, original, inventive methods but may have problems finding application and outlets. Fear of being tied down (uranus) and inclined to reject opportunities that come your way. You may create a very different impression from the one intended and seldom end up doing what was planned....

Also your North Node (your spiritual Lessons this lifetime) is in the 7th house of marriage,business partners
http://www.cafeastrology.com/articles/northnodeinlibra.html

http://www.cafeastrology.com/nodesofthemoon.html
 
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Xibalba

Well-known member
I found Sun square Saturn particularly illuminating ...

The square indicates that restrictions and limitations derived from your own inner psycholgocial attitudes, values, beliefs and image are likely to confront you, and that these often emerge from a lack of self-esteem and personal insecurities.

The power of your solar energy is being held in check - almost imprisoned - by Saturn, until you succeed in 'learning certain lessons', 'recognising inner messages', and manage to transform those constraining attitudes that can cause the failure of your dreams through attracting obstacles along the path.
I think that is true; I feel self conscious even when alone.

Part of this may have been influenced by your early childhood environment, where conflicts with parents (especially your father) or with authority figures have left you feeling defeated and psychologically wounded.Possibly attempts at being childishly self-assertive were unsympathetically crushed and rejected by strict and disciplinarian adults, or your efforts at self-expression and communication of feelings were dismissed and ignored. Whatever circumstances were experienced, the result was a diminution of a developing personality and loss of confidence and self-esteem.
From elementary school to high school I was always the odd man out. I did a great deal of troublemaking in elementary school, and always seemed to get a more severe punishment than most of my peers. I had a lot of teachers who played favorites, and it didn't help that my parents were all too eager to listen to their ranting, and keep me in check. I had a deep sense of betrayal towards my mother, who seemed always to see things from the viewpoint of my classmates and aggressors. She was never on my side.


You are likely to hold psychologically defensive attitudes towards life, not able to trust in the beneficience of the universe or people around you, often expecting that rejection and failure will be the only results that will come to you. With such expectations, the mirroring by the universe will bring such results. A transformation in your worldview is required to alter this pattern.
Hmm..sounds interesting, and true. Doesn't help that I have a moon in Scorpio ;). I read about this somewhere else; like the Law of Attraction. I've always been a skeptic of such things, but I think it's worth some serious reevaluation.

The operative effects of such a pattern are as follows: a fear of 'superiors' and authority figures, and the forming of negative comparisons between yourself and others; an underestimation of or failure to recognise your latent potential, qualities and strengths; a lack of personal assertion, and a tendency to be passive, fatalistic, pessimistic, rigid and insecure; a lack of self-confidence, and a belief that you are unlovable and will never taste success; health may be affected, with a loss of physical vitality and vigour, or psychosomatic ailments may periodically erupt. Looking out at life, you may imagine a constant frustration at your efforts, a life of hard toil for little result, and a scattering around you of unrealised dreams.
:eek:

But if this is the case, then it is within you to transform the inner attitudees that generate such a reality; your life can always be changed for the better. This is the challenge and test facing you, to rise beyond those apparent inner limitations and restrictions that to some degree you are choosing to impose on yourself. Specific areas of oppression may be those associated with the sign and house positions of Sun and Saturn, and resolving the lessons implied in those spheres may hold a key to open the rest of your life to a more favourable future.
Resolving the lessons implied in those spheres...

Sun: 8th House (along with Mercury and Venus); Transformation, rebirth, death, interpersonal relationships, intimacy

Saturn: 5th House (along with Uranus and Neptune); emotional satisfaction, creativity, pleasure

In failure and rejection lie the seeds of possible success, providing that you recognise the lessons and messages that are contained within such experiences. A new approach to self-evaluation is required, one that is not depreciating and negative in prior assumption, but values your strengths and qualities and sese them as assets that can be successfully employed. You may need to review all those traditional attitudes and worldviews that you have acquired in life, and see if they are restrictive or can postitively serve you. When life presents obstacles in your path, you have two fundamental choices; defeat or discover a way of moving beyond. The first is a path of self-limitation and stagnation, the second is the path of self-development and evolutionary growth, and that is the assertion of the solar power and of a higher self. This second path is the one that beckons to you.
Hey, that's why I'm here, right? :cool:

While success may never be easy, and you have to work hard for every step forward, changing your conditioning attitudes is the transformative key. Your character can be strengthened and amplified by attitudes of optimism and positive cheerfulness; begin to trust in the universe and yourself, and you will succeed in restoring your self-image to a positive perception. The aim is to re-empower yourself. One of the most effective ways to do this is through techniques of creative visualisation, which can aid in the psychological reprogramming of all inner attitudes, replacing them by beliefs and worldviews that become positively attractive to the good experience of life. Take the time to explore such techniques.
:)

Relationships could be similarly transformed. If you have been holding a negative self-image, it is always difficult to believe that anyone could love or be interested in you, so relationships may have been unsatisfactory, uneasy and lacking development. If you trnasform any unsuitable self-images, then relationships can assume a new light and vitality. Partners may appear who understand and value you for what you are, and have a faith and trust in your latent potential being actualised. Love is a great transforming power, and you will develop under such a gaze from another. Through consolidating and recognising your power, your solar will can be applied to attain your ambitions. Through sharing with a partner, you can gain a renewed perspective, healing and resolving conflicts which may have been previously detrimental. This squares' tendency for negativity is not inviolable; it can be the spur to change, provided you choose to take the future into your hands, and to recreate it into a positive pattern. This is the Saturn lesson and test that is really confronting you; a demand to assert your unique solar power.
A challenge I intend to rise too!


Thanks, you guys!!!!
 

Sagmoon

Well-known member
Xibalba said:
I found Sun square Saturn particularly illuminating ...


I think that is true; I feel self conscious even when alone.


From elementary school to high school I was always the odd man out. I did a great deal of troublemaking in elementary school, and always seemed to get a more severe punishment than most of my peers. I had a lot of teachers who played favorites, and it didn't help that my parents were all too eager to listen to their ranting, and keep me in check. I had a deep sense of betrayal towards my mother, who seemed always to see things from the viewpoint of my classmates and aggressors. She was never on my side.

Ha, ha I thought you were a girl :rolleyes:
 
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