Can you see issues with one's mother in this chart?

Lucius22

Well-known member
Alright, so I've been asked by the mother of this person (who's chart is posted below) to take a look at their chart and look for dysfunction. Their relationship has always been strained, but as of late, it has taken a significant downturn. The boy won't initiate conversation with her, nor acknowledge her presence unless she confronts him herself. The boy made a vow never to speak to her again (which he's lightened up a bit on) due to reckless decisions on the mother's part (last August) which risked the stability of the family. The two other children have forgiven her, but the boy is quite bitter.
So, basically what I'm going to do here is post the mother and son's natal charts and have anyone willing to take a look and see if they can connect the planets, aspects, placements, that give the potential for this animosity between the two. I feel like, by decoding this, I can give the mother aspects of herself to work with. So, despite the fact that she has asked me to use predictive astrology to look for a mending of their relationship, I'm going to stick with understanding their natal charts. I need to identify the factors that have made this conflict between them possible in the first place. So, friends, feel free to take a look. Any observations/conclusions will be appreciated.
Thank you.
 

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I only looked at the charts briefly, but there are numerous indications that the mother may have some serious emotional/psychological issues. These could be involving anxiety, control, escapism, depression, and/or anger. It appears that she is a hindrance to his development which may be causing him to rebel. I would recommend that they seek therapy.
 

katydid

Staff member
The’ boy’ is 18, and probably feels that he is more mature than his mother at times. :ninja:

It is going to take time and effort to heal this relationship, in my opinion. The son is a Leo rising with the Sun/Moon/Mercury/Saturn in Taurus. I rarely see a more strong willed, unyielding attitude than seen here. Things are pretty absolute and black and white, with few grey areas. :alien:

Moon tightly conjunct Mercury in a fixed sign, aligned with Saturn, on top of the MC? Yikes. There is no way to convince this young man that he is ‘wrong.’ In fact, he is probably totally on point here. He has reason behind that powerful emotional reaction.

His stellium is squared by Uranus/Neptune in the 6th/7th. I think he has valid fears of being ‘abandoned’ and neglected at times. He feels that certain actions were unforgivably selfish and he is so deeply hurt, he cannot forgive at this time.

His Mom’s Sun sits right on top of his Moon/Mercury. As a young child, she was his entire world. He probably put her on a pedestal and felt so very close to her. And he felt such a powerful bond, with that conjunction between them.:love:

And that may be why he is so very angry and bitter still. He thinks that she should have KNOWN how hurtful and painful her actions/decisions would be and so he feels totally betrayed. She shattered this former illusion he had of his ’Supreme Mother’ —and it is very painful for him still. :bandit:

He has Chiron and Pluto in his 4th, with a Finger of Fate pointing to that Pluto.

The Chiron in the 4th often describes primal wounds created by one’s mother.

And then I saw that Mom also has her Chiron in the 4th. Perhaps she learned ’to mother’ from a woman who has similar weaknesses/flaws as she does?
She may have had an inconsistent, erratic childhood that made it difficult for her to create the solid, stable home her son wanted/needed this time around?
 
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katydid

Staff member
Mom:
The Moon tightly conjunct Jupiter in the 7th in Gemini, squaring Mars in Virgo, indicates a kind of flighty, irresponsible emotional nature, perhaps. Moon conjunct Jupiter squared by Mars, sometimes describes a native who reacts impulsively , sometimes selfishly, and does not think of consequences. They may overspend, over promise, over reach, over indulge?

The Neptune/Venus opposition, similar behavior pattern? Sometimes indicates drugs/alcohol, partying as a source of concern.

Both mother and son have a Yod, or Finger of Fate to their 4th/5th cusp.

Hers is to Mercury. His is to Pluto. I am not sure how they play out, except that perhaps, Mercury, [choices mom makes, or things she says] sets up situations for her children [4th/5th] that are uncomfortable and need readjustment.
 
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waybread

Well-known member
I think the synastry between these two is fairly decent. Basically, I just start with the personal planets and ascendants, and look for paired conjunctions, sextiles, and trines for positive points of contact. Then look for positive inter-aspects, like sun-moon, Jupiter-ascendant, and so on. I'd use a tiny bit wider orb than I would in a nativity, just because I've seen it with couples who get along really well.

So for example, I'd view their suns as trined, which is a good aspect for basic friendship (also important for family members.) I'm not seeing significant moon aspects other than the moon-Neptune trine, which is helpful but Neptune will be generational, so emotionally there's not such a strong connection. This happens. Mom's Venus trines her son's Taurus stellium, so I'd say she loves him deeply. With his Venus sextiling Mom's sun, we can see the potential for a loving, caring relationship even if they are very different people.

The real problem I see isn't so much the synastry as that both people have a lot of internal stressors. If these cannot be handled in a mature way but have to be acted out, regardless of the consequences, whoever is in the debris field is liable to get hit. Of course, one's immediate family is often in the blast zone.

The boy made a vow never to speak to her again (which he's lightened up a bit on) due to reckless decisions on the mother's part (last August) which risked the stability of the family. The two other children have forgiven her, but the boy is quite bitter.

With Mom's highly volatile Pluto, Uranus and Mars on her MC square moon-Jupiter, Mom probably feels enormous pressure to blow off steam-- and to be known for (MC) being a risk-taker. Jupiter in the mix can be the energy of, "If a little is good, a lot is better." I assume that this is what got triggered when she did something perceived as reckless by her children.

I've not checked an ephemeris, but if memory serves, transiting Neptune probably was afoot, weakening one's normal brakes and reality checks.

Mom's square is actually part of a wide T-square, with Saturn-Chiron in opposition to Mars-Pluto, Uranus, suggesting troubles at home in response to acting-out behaviour. I would guess that she sometimes suffers from extreme guilt and remorse once reality sets in,

The best advice I could give Mom would be to look at the see-saw pattern with Saturn-Chiron opposite Pluto, Uranus, and Mars; and see if she tends to mood-swing between one modality or the other. If so, can she see if there is a constructive way to combine them? Just for example, suppose Pluto-Uranus-Mars wants to take up sky-diving. Saturn says, fine, but take lessons, follow your instructor, double-check your parachute, and make sure your budget will support this.

Moon-Jupiter in the 7th feels most like herself in a happy, committed relationship, but when the rest of the T-square gets out of kilter, the 7th house has the alternative meeting of the house of open enemies. Which has happened with her son.

Interestingly, the son has some of the same chart pattern. That big stellium in Taurus in the 10th has a lot invested in stability and maintaining a good reputation. But Uranus in the 7th is apt to see some kind of disruptive enemy setting out to demolish what he holds most dear. Yet truth be told, Uranus square sun is also an internal pressure-cooker. If this can't be dealt with internally and maturely, Uranus is apt to look for an external disruptive enemy to blame.

The way forward? Since I don't know these people, it's hard to say, except that if Mom can truly apologize for what she did, and the son can apologize for his hostile silent treatment, that would be helpful. Hopefully, if they cannot forgive or forget, they can at least develop a way forward. If each can find a constructive (vs. destructive) way of dealing with those hard squares in their charts, I think that would be helpful.

I note that the NN and planets at the tip of a yod always show by sign and house areas of life that one needs to develop. The son has two yods pointing to Venus and Pluto. Mom's yod pointing to Mercury in the 5th house of children suggests redoubling her efforts to truly understand her children and to shape her behaviour accordingly (as she's the adult in the room.)
 
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