Can anyone tell me why I'm so attracted to unavailable people?

fierymoon

Member
I, unfortunately, seem to be frequently (and deeply) attracted to/infatuated with unavailable folks, and people that aren't interested in me. I'm wondering if there's any obvious reason in my chart for this. I suspect a few things, but I'd like an outside opinion. Thank you so much for your time if you decide to read/reply! :biggrin:
 
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katydid

Staff member
I wonder if you maybe send out mixed messages to people.They may be initially attracted to your Libra Rising—sweet, attractive, polite first impression.

And then as they get to know you, your Venus in Aries jumps out. And the fiery more assertive energy may scare some people away?

When someone seems disinterested, that makes Aries even MORE interested. Fiery 7th house Venuses like a good challenge.

You have Saturn in the 7th in Taurus. Saturn rules the 4th and squares Neptune in the 4th. The 4th is feelings/emotional reactions.
So you might have some confusion about the feeling/emotional realm.

You might not see others very clearly or decipher their emotional cues very clearly. By the time you realize it is never going to work out, you might have already spent a lot of needless effort and time in trying to make it work.
 

rahu

Banned
hi fierymoon

my take on your chart is that your moon/sun midpoint is conjunct to Neptune which can show you live in illusion. this makes you very sensitive but with Neptune square to saturn in the 7th, you misread suitors and tend toward those who are insincere.
your mars/venus midpoint is also conjunct to Neptune and the sun/moon midpoint ,so your self deception especially occurs around relationships.

rahu
 
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fierymoon

Member
Usually, revolves around Venus, Neptune, Pisces factors.

I appreciate your reply! As rahu pointed out below, I was going to mention that the only thing I really have going on with Neptune (aside from a Mercury/Neptune sextile and the square with Saturn) is it conjuncts my sun/moon midpoint, and I'm not sure how prominently that would effect me and my relationships.

Thank you for your time! :love:
 

fierymoon

Member
I wonder if you maybe send out mixed messages to people.They may be initially attracted to your Libra Rising—sweet, attractive, polite first impression.

And then as they get to know you, your Venus in Aries jumps out. And the fiery more assertive energy may scare some people away?

When someone seems disinterested, that makes Aries even MORE interested. Fiery 7th house Venuses like a good challenge.

You have Saturn in the 7th in Taurus. Saturn rules the 4th and squares Neptune in the 4th. The 4th is feelings/emotional reactions.
So you might have some confusion about the feeling/emotional realm.

You might not see others very clearly or decipher their emotional cues very clearly. By the time you realize it is never going to work out, you might have already spent a lot of needless effort and time in trying to make it work.


Thank you so much for your response! I could definitely see the mixed signals thing being true for me. However, maybe my Mars in the 1st gives them a little hint or preview to my fiery energy? Haha. Because although I am very polite, sweet etc when first meeting someone, I'll have no problem being assertive as well if I feel it necessary. I'd hate to scare people away, though. I may have to work on finding a balance inside. But part of me thinks that "well, that fiery/assertive part of me is just who I am, so I'll just have to find someone who accepts it" lol. I do have trouble with emotions as well, though. Hm.

I had one boy in mind when I made this post, although there have been several others who fit this description. I wonder if this issue could be seen in our synastry, or if its just a more personal issue of mine? Because I felt that he was giving me mixed signals, too. He's one of my best friends and I developed a wicked 'crush' on him. He's very confusing and I wasn't sure if the attraction was mutual.
 

fierymoon

Member
hi fierymoon

my take on your chart is that your moon/sun midpoint is conjunct to Neptune which can show you live in illusion. this makes you very sensitive but with Neptune square to saturn in the 7th, you misread suitors and tend toward those who are insincere.
your mars/venus midpoint is also conjunct to Neptune and the sun/moon midpoint ,so your self deception especially occurs around relationships.

rahu

Hello, rahu!

So, do you think these influences are quite prominent in my life? I wonder if my Neptune conjunct the sun/moon midpoint is why I feel so lost and confused a lot. Plus, I feel very sensitive to energies in the atmosphere. Then again, I am a Pisces so that probably has to do with it, too. Sigh, I hadn't realized the mars/venus midpoint was involved as well. Wow. This doesn't seem fun at all. I'm gonna have to think of ways to make things more clear for myself. Thank you very much for your response, rahu! :love:
 

fierymoon

Member
I'm going to post the chart of the boy I had in mind here, and our synastry + composite. Could someone tell me if you see one-sided attraction, or illusion? :unsure:
 
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rahu

Banned
Hello, rahu!

So, do you think these influences are quite prominent in my life? I wonder if my Neptune conjunct the sun/moon midpoint is why I feel so lost and confused a lot. Plus, I feel very sensitive to energies in the atmosphere. Then again, I am a Pisces so that probably has to do with it, too. Sigh, I hadn't realized the mars/venus midpoint was involved as well. Wow. This doesn't seem fun at all. I'm gonna have to think of ways to make things more clear for myself. Thank you very much for your response, rahu! :love:

So, do you think these influences are quite prominent in my life? I wonder if my Neptune conjunct the sun/moon midpoint is why I feel so lost and confused a lot. Plus, I feel very sensitive to energies in the atmosphere.


yes you are quite correct. the sun and moon are symbolic of a great part og the enemies that make up you chart.so there placement is very important. like wise the sun/moon midpoint is one of the most potent midpoints for the same reasons.
so yes you feeling of confusion and sensitivity to different energy fields is because to the sun/moonmp-neptune dynamic.

in your case with Saturn square Neptune,the the affect of the ethereal Neptunian energies are more confusing because they directly impact your personality structure and you over all experience of "reality" .

with the venus/mars midpoint also part of the mix, you probably have had confusing relationships or a high degree of insincerity .

these dynamics give you great creativity and sympathy for others.

rahu
 

fierymoon

Member
yes you are quite correct. the sun and moon are symbolic of a great part og the enemies that make up you chart.so there placement is very important. like wise the sun/moon midpoint is one of the most potent midpoints for the same reasons.
so yes you feeling of confusion and sensitivity to different energy fields is because to the sun/moonmp-neptune dynamic.

in your case with Saturn square Neptune,the the affect of the ethereal Neptunian energies are more confusing because they directly impact your personality structure and you over all experience of "reality" .

with the venus/mars midpoint also part of the mix, you probably have had confusing relationships or a high degree of insincerity .

these dynamics give you great creativity and sympathy for others.

rahu

That's very true! I think one of my biggest obstacles in this life is going to be overcoming the fantasy and illusion and facing reality. It's going to be very difficult, for sure. But I have faith (thank you, Sagittarius moon! :biggrin:). rahu, do you think you could take a look at the synastry I posted and tell me your opinion on it? I'm very curious!
 

rahu

Banned
That's very true! I think one of my biggest obstacles in this life is going to be overcoming the fantasy and illusion and facing reality. It's going to be very difficult, for sure. But I have faith (thank you, Sagittarius moon! :biggrin:). rahu, do you think you could take a look at the synastry I posted and tell me your opinion on it? I'm very curious!


I prefer the composite chart and yours unfortunately has quite a few difficulties .
firt the mercury/venus conjunction shows a affectionate and open connection. this show pleasure in each others company and enjoyment talking and laughing together.

mars square the chiron/pluto conjunction is really not good because it show that he si very edgy and selfish. not someone that would show you consideration or respect your feelings. pluto/chiron indicates he is a bit of a bad boy who does only what he wants

Uranus is square the Saturn/venus midpoint. this shows unstable relationship. it can show a back and forth on and off type connection but coupled with the mars aspects, any relationship would be based on his whims at the time.

the satrun/Jupiter midpoint is conjunct to the sun and the sun is trine to mars, so there is a slight sense of coming together here, but with Neptune square to the sun/Jupiter midpoint, not relationship of substance wikk develop. he may make noises about being together but if so he would just be playing you as Neptune square sun/Jupiter usually shows deceptions in relationships

rahu
 

sadge

Well-known member
I can't pull up these charts from my phone, so I can only comment on this on general terms.

If you have Saturn in the 7H, that doesn't mean you'll be denied a fulfilling relationship. If anything, Saturn shows us the area of life that one takes very seriously. It may mean delays in that area, but that's a good thing in the long run because it's Saturn giving you the opportunity to really crystalize that area of life in real, lasting terms based on hard-earned or practical reality. It may be painful at first, because Saturn's a heavy energy, but it's a process that actually produces results. So look at how that Saturn is aspected, along with your dc ruler, to get a look at what your unique relationship needs are in life. In terms of long term relationships, the holy trinity in synastry are the sun, moon, and ac, so anybody significant in your life on a long term basis should ideally hit these points if you really want to fly.

Next, keep your age in mind. And chill. It's important to fall in love with yourself before you try to find that validation through others.

Regarding synastry and composites.....I have mixed thoughts on composites just based on experience. Keep in mind....this is where we start stepping into theoretical territory, so allow for margins of error, IMO. But it's a good tool to play around with, just try all the different types of composites. All will be revealing in it's own way.

Synastry shows how each of your energies can harmonize or conflict with one another. It's a lot more sensitive of a process to pull out youyr relationship needs from a chart by looking deeper st the underlying psychology in it than just following cookbook definitions for piecemeal aspects. But on a general level, you can tell how well you can meet one another's needs....and it's the needs that vary from person to person. For ex, one may not particularly enjoy feeling someone's Saturn on his/her asc, while another thrives under it. It's different for everyone.

For matters of unrequited love, it could simply be a period of transits where the universe is asking you to focus on yourself right now. It's quite possible that these love interests in your life did like you, but the timing wasn't right. It doesn't necessarily have to be about something that's "wrong" with you. People change....so we look at progressions, etc.

The composite is considered a third entity.....the third thing that's created by taking the midpoints between two charts. It's not you, or the other, but simply the third body of energy that's created. That's why oppositions can have a totally different meaning in composites than in synastry. Interestingly, some oppositions in a composite show the innate harmony in synastry.....it gets complicated, lots of geometry.

Anyway, one trick can be to take each Natal and match it up to the composite to see what points in the composite hit the natal. One may be hit directly on significant personal points by the composite, thus is more deeply impacted by the relationship, while the other is not. The nature of the connections between composite and natals will show how that "third entity" impacts each individual, if at all.

Hope I helped.... S.
 
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fierymoon

Member
I prefer the composite chart and yours unfortunately has quite a few difficulties .
firt the mercury/venus conjunction shows a affectionate and open connection. this show pleasure in each others company and enjoyment talking and laughing together.

mars square the chiron/pluto conjunction is really not good because it show that he si very edgy and selfish. not someone that would show you consideration or respect your feelings. pluto/chiron indicates he is a bit of a bad boy who does only what he wants

Uranus is square the Saturn/venus midpoint. this shows unstable relationship. it can show a back and forth on and off type connection but coupled with the mars aspects, any relationship would be based on his whims at the time.

the satrun/Jupiter midpoint is conjunct to the sun and the sun is trine to mars, so there is a slight sense of coming together here, but with Neptune square to the sun/Jupiter midpoint, not relationship of substance wikk develop. he may make noises about being together but if so he would just be playing you as Neptune square sun/Jupiter usually shows deceptions in relationships

rahu

It definitely seems to be that way. We're pretty close, so we've argued before and he can be quite cold. Our relationship also isn't very stable. He'll go from being affectionate, kind and talking to me a lot to just nothing out of nowhere. Unfortunately for me, I tend to like the mean "bad boys" for whatever reason. I blame my Aries descendant+Venus. Thank you so much for all your insight, rahu! I will keep all of this in mind. :love:
 
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fierymoon

Member
I can't pull up these charts from my phone, so I can only comment on this on general terms.

If you have Saturn in the 7H, that doesn't mean you'll be denied a fulfilling relationship. If anything, Saturn shows us the area of life that one takes very seriously. It may mean delays in that area, but that's a good thing in the long run because it's Saturn giving you the opportunity to really crystalize that area of life in real, lasting terms based on hard-earned or practical reality. It may be painful at first, because Saturn's a heavy energy, but it's a process that actually produces results. So look at how that Saturn is aspected, along with your dc ruler, to get a look at what your unique relationship needs are in life. In terms of long term relationships, the holy trinity in synastry are the sun, moon, and ac, so anybody significant in your life on a long term basis should ideally hit these points if you really want to fly.

Next, keep your age in mind. And chill. It's important to fall in love with yourself before you try to find that validation through others.

Regarding synastry and composites.....I have mixed thoughts on composites just based on experience. Keep in mind....this is where we start stepping into theoretical territory, so allow for margins of error, IMO. But it's a good tool to play around with, just try all the different types of composites. All will be revealing in it's own way.

Synastry shows how each of your energies can harmonize or conflict with one another. It's a lot more sensitive of a process to pull out youyr relationship needs from a chart by looking deeper st the underlying psychology in it than just following cookbook definitions for piecemeal aspects. But on a general level, you can tell how well you can meet one another's needs....and it's the needs that vary from person to person. For ex, one may not particularly enjoy feeling someone's Saturn on his/her asc, while another thrives under it. It's different for everyone.

For matters of unrequited love, it could simply be a period of transits where the universe is asking you to focus on yourself right now. It's quite possible that these love interests in your life did like you, but the timing wasn't right. It doesn't necessarily have to be about something that's "wrong" with you. People change....so we look at progressions, etc.

The composite is considered a third entity.....the third thing that's created by taking the midpoints between two charts. It's not you, or the other, but simply the third body of energy that's created. That's why oppositions can have a totally different meaning in composites than in synastry. Interestingly, some oppositions in a composite show the innate harmony in synastry.....it gets complicated, lots of geometry.

Anyway, one trick can be to take each Natal and match it up to the composite to see what points in the composite hit the natal. One may be hit directly on significant personal points by the composite, thus is more deeply impacted by the relationship, while the other is not. The nature of the connections between composite and natals will show how that "third entity" impacts each individual, if at all.

Hope I helped.... S.

Thank you very much for your thoughtful response. I appreciate it greatly! My Saturn is square to Neptune, which is really not helping the reality thing whatsoever. And yes, I'm only 18, so I know I'm young and I have a long way to go and all of that, but. The most exact major aspect in my chart is my Venus (chart ruler) conjunct the descendant, 0 degrees. So we have the 1st lord in the 7th, and then the 7th lord in the first. Also, moon trine Venus. Not to mention that I'm a Libra ascendant. I feel a strong need for relationships. It's like I need them to survive. This is something that I dislike about myself and am trying to work on by spending more time by myself. It's very difficult, though, as I'm just so much happier when giving and receiving love and affection, and daydreaming about love. Having a companion gives me fuel to go through life. And it doesn't necessarily have to be a romantic companion, a really close friend can satisfy it, too, despite it not being the same.

With our synastry, there's really not much going on I don't think. Which is why I was confused on my deep attraction for him. Nevertheless, I'll just have to get over it and move on. Wish me luck on that..

Again, thank you. You definitely were helpful and inspired some introspection on my part. I will have to try the composite + natal chart lining up and see if there's anything interesting.
 
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