Approaching the 7th house and relationships accordingly

ardentika

Well-known member
Seeing one of Osamenor's posts inspired me to do this topic for both learning purposes and personal ones.

She mentioned that whenever she sees someone struggling with personal relationships, it's usually the person not going about right with the 7th house. At least that's what I got. Also not sure which housing system to use, but I resonate more with equal or whole sign.

Long story short, I had only one mildly serious relationship when i was 19. We dated for 1.6 y and lived together, until the relationship became toxic and overbearing. Ever since that I've always fallen for someone who is somewhat unavailable. Mostly people away from me, foreigners or just not local. I have zero luck with relationships lol.
 

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ElenaJ

Well-known member
You do have Chiron in the 7th, so lessons to be learned here.
Mercury on the 11th cusp, you expect your partners to be a friend.
Mars near the 7th cusp, also rules the 9th of foreign places. With north node, Venus and pluto in scorpio in the 9th, this is a very active house for you.
Mars squares Jupiter, your ascendent ruler, so you yourself don't always choose the right person, but it also trines sun, so you will learn eventually.
You're still quite young, so lots of maturing phases to go through yet.
 

ardentika

Well-known member
Lessons to be learned for sure. I have the vertex there too.
That's true about wanting my partner to be my friend. Very very true .

What's the purpose of Mars square Jupiter ? Is there anything positive from that?
 

katydid

Well-known member
The purpose of Mars square Jupiter? Perhaps in your chart it sets up a way for you to release yourself from traditional or cultural or religious bonds. Maybe it enables you to break free and move away from social or cultural norms by moving far from home, or dating someone from a foreign country or different ethnic background?

With Saturn in your first and your Cap Sun being in the 10th, you might be very aware of and partial to family, tradition, responsibility etc. So it might be difficult at times.

However through partnerships you may discover a new way of relating to the outer world. Many of your preconceived notions and beliefs are questioned when you follow your heart and enter a new world. :love:
 

ardentika

Well-known member
The purpose of Mars square Jupiter? Perhaps in your chart it sets up a way for you to release yourself from traditional or cultural or religious bonds. Maybe it enables you to break free and move away from social or cultural norms by moving far from home, or dating someone from a foreign country or different ethnic background?

With Saturn in your first and your Cap Sun being in the 10th, you might be very aware of and partial to family, tradition, responsibility etc. So it might be difficult at times.

However through partnerships you may discover a new way of relating to the outer world. Many of your preconceived notions and beliefs are questioned when you follow your heart and enter a new world. :love:

Wow that actually made me tear up a little, because it hit home so deeply. First stage of my life I was believing in that one love forever, because of my parents who got together when they were 20-21. They had a very turbulent relationship but stayed together forever basically. I had to realize this isn't always good. Then it was spirituality that limited my perspective and beliefs on relationships. And now I'm at a stage where I just don't want to believe anything too crazy. I don't know if soulmates exist, i dont know if i have one, I don't know if maybe we just pick out partners on basic compatibility, it doesn't truly matter as long as I feel for someone.

I've lived anyways away from home since I was 19, but still in the same country. The responsibility I felt for my family was too great to leave the country.

And it's true, most connections I've had helped me shed more layers of my personality and discover who I truly am, and not how I should be based on people's expectations.

That was beautifully said, thank you so much!

Yes, despite all I still want a family, if that can be considered a tradition. It's somewhat important to me, even tho it scares me. I feel like this is an important part of one's life. To build your own family, your little empire haha. I doubt it will be a "traditional" family, but so what.

How do you think then that whole T-Square plays out since it triggers my relationship axis? Saturn on Asc , squaring Jupiter and opposite mars? Also I've read Saturn square Juno denies marriage or a spouse, I don't want to believe that because it's too deterministic, but then when I look at my failed relationship history it doesn't make me exactly hopeful haha.

I tend to always blame myself for falling for the wrong people as well..
 

Sagittarius Jupiter

Well-known member
Seeing one of Osamenor's posts inspired me to do this topic for both learning purposes and personal ones.

She mentioned that whenever she sees someone struggling with personal relationships, it's usually the person not going about right with the 7th house. At least that's what I got. Also not sure which housing system to use, but I resonate more with equal or whole sign.

Long story short, I had only one mildly serious relationship when i was 19. We dated for 1.6 y and lived together, until the relationship became toxic and overbearing. Ever since that I've always fallen for someone who is somewhat unavailable. Mostly people away from me, foreigners or just not local. I have zero luck with relationships lol.


Hello ardentika,

you have a very strong chart (Campanus houses).

Sun in Capricorn in the 11th, and Venus in Scorpio in the 8th means
1) you need original, technical people,
as well as
2) You need a deep, intimate person.

With Saturn in the 1st house you can be slightly shy in relationships,

And Mars in the 7th house means you are unlucky.

But you have Virgo 5° on the descendant (7th), so that's good.
It means, you will find good strong men.

Your Destiny:

Your destiny is shown by the North node:
The north node is in the 8th house in Scorpio:

So you need to become less superficial, more intimate and intelligent
in general relationships, always.

Your Midheaven is in Sagittarius, you can't have a fixed career.

Pisces ascendant means you are good-natured.

What question you have?

William.
 

StillOne

Well-known member
Personally, IMO, going for unavailable partners just means that you're not ready yet. You wish to still practice. Nothing wrong with that while you are figuring things out.

Virgo on the 7th house cusp has a sense of purity and perfectionism surrounding it. It's lord, Merc, in Cap may signal someone older, more mature, or even slight delays (as in paragraph 1).

You probably want to research Moon Square Venus.
 
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ElenaJ

Well-known member
Lessons to be learned for sure. I have the vertex there too.
That's true about wanting my partner to be my friend. Very very true .

What's the purpose of Mars square Jupiter ? Is there anything positive from that?

Jupiter is also faith and loyalty and justice and grand, wide-sweeping moves. On your MH, ruling your MH of reputation and career. In an aspect of tension with your mars on the 7th, making you critical of your partner, while Jupiter wants generosity, and opposing Saturn makes you clam up when it isn't your way, but comunicative mercury wants to do what it does best, comunicate, and Jupiter wants you to be joyful while mars is pushing you to become argumentative just to have things just so, in perfection. You have to find a balance here.
Jupiter and Saturn are in a mutual reception by face, which isn't strong but helps you find a way out. Put Jupiter on your ascendent, making you look more positive to the world, and Saturn on your 10th making you more dedicated to your career and work.
Mars is exalted in Capricorn while mercury rules virgo where mars is located, so here too you have a way out by mutual reception. If you switch mercury onto your 7th of relationships, becoming more comunicative and "intellectual", mars will activate your 11th house of friends, persons who tend to be active and energetic and ambitious.
The 9th, ruled by mars, will keep you leaning towards foreigners, and spiritually oriented partners (Jupiter influence here), maybe teachers (shades of mercury?)
The easy aspect between mars and sun shows you will seek and find the right person for you, a strong, dedicated person who is a hard worker.
 

Osamenor

Staff member
Seeing one of Osamenor's posts inspired me to do this topic for both learning purposes and personal ones.

She mentioned that whenever she sees someone struggling with personal relationships, it's usually the person not going about right with the 7th house. At least that's what I got.
That, or being genuinely challenged by the seventh house. Especially if you have planets there, it might be a matter of integrating their energies. Since you have Chiron solidly in H7 and Mars conjunct your DC, you've got some planetary challenges, and working with them could be a lifetime endeavor.
Also not sure which housing system to use, but I resonate more with equal or whole sign.
Whichever one resonates most for you, that's what you should use.

Long story short, I had only one mildly serious relationship when i was 19. We dated for 1.6 y and lived together, until the relationship became toxic and overbearing. Ever since that I've always fallen for someone who is somewhat unavailable. Mostly people away from me, foreigners or just not local. I have zero luck with relationships lol.
Personally, IMO, going for unavailable partners just means that you're not ready yet. You wish to still practice. Nothing wrong with that while you are figuring things out.
I like StillOne's interpretation a lot. To that, I would add that I see self protectiveness in your chart. If you've had an abusive relationship, it's only natural to be afraid of getting into another. This may be a deeply unconscious fear, but I suspect it's the main thing driving you to unavailable people.

Saturn on the ascendant gives you a self protective cover. Saturn is great at drawing boundaries. On the ascendant, it gives you great capability to draw boundaries, and perhaps a tendency to draw them too tightly, especially if you've had your boundaries violated. In escapist Pisces, though, we have a combination of boundaries and a tendency to just go away. Put them together, and it looks like your way of handling something like this is to be closed off and not present. Which is a very natural and common way for people to handle anything traumatic, but it's especially pronounced in your ascendant placement.

Mars at the DC gives you another kind of self protection. You could easily push people away, if you want to. Virgo is also a sign with a certain emotional detachment: the ability to just focus on whatever you're doing and not be swayed by any drama or emotions going on around you.

I also find Mars on the DC to be a real double edged sword. It's an angular placement, which makes Mars one of your strongest energies, but the DC/seventh house is also indicative of what we disown in ourselves and project onto others, especially partners. Whatever qualities you disown, you draw people into your life who show them to you. If the disowned planet is Mars, you're bound to get a partner who shows you Mars in a truly horrific way.

If you have Mars more integrated in yourself, then you can handle its energy in a partner, because you know how to handle it in you. At that point, you're more likely to find partners who manifest a healthy Mars: assertive, passionate, maybe competitive, but not violent or abusive. And you're able to meet them with your own assertiveness and passion.
 

ardentika

Well-known member
Hello ardentika,

you have a very strong chart (Campanus houses).

Sun in Capricorn in the 11th, and Venus in Scorpio in the 8th means
1) you need original, technical people,
as well as
2) You need a deep, intimate person.

With Saturn in the 1st house you can be slightly shy in relationships,

And Mars in the 7th house means you are unlucky.

But you have Virgo 5° on the descendant (7th), so that's good.
It means, you will find good strong men.

Your Destiny:

Your destiny is shown by the North node:
The north node is in the 8th house in Scorpio:

So you need to become less superficial, more intimate and intelligent
in general relationships, always.

Your Midheaven is in Sagittarius, you can't have a fixed career.

Pisces ascendant means you are good-natured.

What question you have?

William.

I've noticed that tendency. I can't say I'm shy, it's more that I'm reserved at first and if I sense acceptance I lose up very quickly and become very open with people in general. And yes I tend to very drawn to Scorpionic males for that reason.
Thank you. I'm glad my destiny shows good things, that's nice to hear ^^
 

ardentika

Well-known member
Jupiter is also faith and loyalty and justice and grand, wide-sweeping moves. On your MH, ruling your MH of reputation and career. In an aspect of tension with your mars on the 7th, making you critical of your partner, while Jupiter wants generosity, and opposing Saturn makes you clam up when it isn't your way, but comunicative mercury wants to do what it does best, comunicate, and Jupiter wants you to be joyful while mars is pushing you to become argumentative just to have things just so, in perfection. You have to find a balance here.
Jupiter and Saturn are in a mutual reception by face, which isn't strong but helps you find a way out. Put Jupiter on your ascendent, making you look more positive to the world, and Saturn on your 10th making you more dedicated to your career and work.
Mars is exalted in Capricorn while mercury rules virgo where mars is located, so here too you have a way out by mutual reception. If you switch mercury onto your 7th of relationships, becoming more comunicative and "intellectual", mars will activate your 11th house of friends, persons who tend to be active and energetic and ambitious.
The 9th, ruled by mars, will keep you leaning towards foreigners, and spiritually oriented partners (Jupiter influence here), maybe teachers (shades of mercury?)
The easy aspect between mars and sun shows you will seek and find the right person for you, a strong, dedicated person who is a hard worker.

That's a very interesting suggestion. I've been trying to "put Saturn in 10th" but it's hard because I can't even chose a career. I've always dealt with arts but it's so hard to make a living with it.

I've always been very communicative with parters, which is why I wasn't always lucky because typically young men do t enjoy talking about the way they feel and their unhealthy psychological patterns haha. And my group of friends are usually very active ,travel oriented and very goal/career driven. So sounds like I already did the swap unconsciously .

I'm also glad to hear that it's okay to lean toward foreigners and that it doesn't mean some subconscious patterns. Generally I find foreign people on the level I am. I've tried connecting in that level with people from my country but for some reason they always lack the depth. BTW Bulgaria is under the sign of Taurus and it cannot be more true. I just don't feel I belong here. Maybe because it falls on my South node?

I've always been drawn to guys with heavy aag and Scorpio in their chart . Someone who is not per say intensly spiritual but at least someone who has beliefs and is self aware . Everything was spot on!

I've never received such good readings as the ones here, thank you all.it shows me that the self work I've been doing for the past 4 years is actually paying off finally. That's encouraging.
 

ardentika

Well-known member
That, or being genuinely challenged by the seventh house. Especially if you have planets there, it might be a matter of integrating their energies. Since you have Chiron solidly in H7 and Mars conjunct your DC, you've got some planetary challenges, and working with them could be a lifetime endeavor.
Whichever one resonates most for you, that's what you should use.



I like StillOne's interpretation a lot. To that, I would add that I see self protectiveness in your chart. If you've had an abusive relationship, it's only natural to be afraid of getting into another. This may be a deeply unconscious fear, but I suspect it's the main thing driving you to unavailable people.

Saturn on the ascendant gives you a self protective cover. Saturn is great at drawing boundaries. On the ascendant, it gives you great capability to draw boundaries, and perhaps a tendency to draw them too tightly, especially if you've had your boundaries violated. In escapist Pisces, though, we have a combination of boundaries and a tendency to just go away. Put them together, and it looks like your way of handling something like this is to be closed off and not present. Which is a very natural and common way for people to handle anything traumatic, but it's especially pronounced in your ascendant placement.

Mars at the DC gives you another kind of self protection. You could easily push people away, if you want to. Virgo is also a sign with a certain emotional detachment: the ability to just focus on whatever you're doing and not be swayed by any drama or emotions going on around you.

I also find Mars on the DC to be a real double edged sword. It's an angular placement, which makes Mars one of your strongest energies, but the DC/seventh house is also indicative of what we disown in ourselves and project onto others, especially partners. Whatever qualities you disown, you draw people into your life who show them to you. If the disowned planet is Mars, you're bound to get a partner who shows you Mars in a truly horrific way.

If you have Mars more integrated in yourself, then you can handle its energy in a partner, because you know how to handle it in you. At that point, you're more likely to find partners who manifest a healthy Mars: assertive, passionate, maybe competitive, but not violent or abusive. And you're able to meet them with your own assertiveness and passion.

That's partially true. I did grow up in an abusive family. But I can't say I escape problems especially in partnerships. I always try to face them.
My first relationship was indeed very absuive. Ever since that I've been single and the next potentials I've found haven't been abusive. Just emotionally scared to feel deep love and to receive it. I've often heard the phrase "You are too good, you deserve someone better than me". I always give 100% in my connections.
Sometimes I tend to be passive aggressive when I am triggered with an issue, but I learned to not do that and just talk it out. Either take a step back and think it through or just talk it out.

I used to hate Mars on the Descendant and see it as my doom but since astrology is about awareness, I refuse to see it like that anymore .

And to be honest I myself can cause drama at times (blame it on the leo moon haha) but if someone else does too much at a certain point I might get detached but in a loving way because if my partner is freaking our there is no point for me to freak out. I immediately pull myself up and become the rock they can lean on. I don't know if that's the virgo or what exactly.

The last one I fell in love deeply was Capricorn sun Scorpio Moon and Virgo asc. There was a distance.problem too and we were both very young and fell deeply for each other which eventually turned out to be emotionally toxic. We both learned a lot and 5y later we are still friends.

Recently I met someone with Scorpio sun and Capricorn moon Pisces rising (talk about a type huh) and it's been amazing so far. There is distance again, and perhaps it won't truly last or turn into a commitment ,however it showed me that I can be cared for and loved, and that issues can be talked out in a detached way and emotions can be shown freely without feeling guilty or shame.

Perhaps it's true I'm still learning. But I'm trying to manifest the highest possible octave of my chart since it's a bit challenging one haha. Thank you!

I will sure work on that Mars. Not entirely sure how tho.
 

Osamenor

Staff member
That's partially true. I did grow up in an abusive family. But I can't say I escape problems especially in partnerships. I always try to face them.
Of course you do. Mars on the DC will face things head on. So, probably, would that Capricorn Mercury that rules your DC. But that's in partnerships.

The escapist part is what I'm seeing as likely outside the context of partnership. Pisces is your rising sign, how you meet the world. Not how you deal with partnership. Your partner may see that Pisces/Saturn face, especially when you first meet, but how you relate to your partner is indicated by your DC rather than your AC.
 

ardentika

Well-known member
Yes, when it comes to that I have a problem of not wanting to escape reality, but then it gets too heavy. I also tend to avoid responsibility because it's quite scary lol.

Also I just got reminded of a question . You said planets in 7th is what we lack or disown. I've read that usually planets in 7th used to be energies we missed in childhood.

My best friend has moon in 7th but she always had a very strong presence of her mom in her life. How does that work?
 

Osamenor

Staff member
Yes, when it comes to that I have a problem of not wanting to escape reality, but then it gets too heavy. I also tend to avoid responsibility because it's quite scary lol.
Perfect description of Saturn/Pisces!

Also I just got reminded of a question . You said planets in 7th is what we lack or disown. I've read that usually planets in 7th used to be energies we missed in childhood.

My best friend has moon in 7th but she always had a very strong presence of her mom in her life. How does that work?

Seventh house placements don't have to be what we lack or disown. We can own them. I haven't heard of the idea that they're energies we missed in childhood, but it sounds to me like a variation of Freudian psychology: the idea that women look to male partners for what they've missed (or had and been attached to) in their fathers, and men to female partners for what they've missed, or been attached to, in their mothers.

That concept ties right in with projection. Which, again, comes back to projection through the seventh house.
 

katydid

Well-known member
I found a nice explanation of your Saturn/Juno square:

instead of marrying or committing early, you'll keep coming close -- but circumstances will keep getting in the way of attaining your dream of a good, solid relationship that you can depend on. Lots of times, the truth will come out that your lover just isn't as committed or interested as you are, or that they're just not the right person for you.

Your best bet is to recognize that staying in an unsatisfying relationship is worse, not better, than being alone. You can take care of yourself. Once you realize that, you'll have more time and confidence to find someone you really click with.

https://new.theastrologer.com/romantic-personality/saturn-square-juno-rp/
 

ardentika

Well-known member
That is somewhat true. Because the parents are the first archrtype we see when we come into this world and we tend to repeat that. Of course since it's projection that can be changed. One can take only the best qualities of his parent to project it on a partner .

It ties well with my dad being abusive verbally , and my first 2 relationships were like that. But with time I learn how to deal with his verbal abusiveness (he has Mars on asc haha) and hence the next partners tend to be much more gentler.

But still I've noticed we can't escape the influence of the opposite sex parent when it comes to chosing a partner.

Oh and btw, about the Saturn in Pisces, do you think this will settle with time and effort? Feeling comfortable with taking responsibility?
 

ardentika

Well-known member
I found a nice explanation of your Saturn/Juno square:

instead of marrying or committing early, you'll keep coming close -- but circumstances will keep getting in the way of attaining your dream of a good, solid relationship that you can depend on. Lots of times, the truth will come out that your lover just isn't as committed or interested as you are, or that they're just not the right person for you.

Your best bet is to recognize that staying in an unsatisfying relationship is worse, not better, than being alone. You can take care of yourself. Once you realize that, you'll have more time and confidence to find someone you really click with.

https://new.theastrologer.com/romantic-personality/saturn-square-juno-rp/

Yikes. That sounds a bit sad.
 

katydid

Well-known member
Yikes. That sounds a bit sad.

No, you have already been doing this. Did you read the final sentence?

"...UNTIL you find someone you can click with. " <<<So it does have a happy ending. :love:

But there is an angular T-Square with Mars, Jupiter and Saturn. No way around it but meeting it head on. And that's what you have been doing. :ninja:
 

ardentika

Well-known member
No, you have already been doing this. Did you read the final sentence?

"...UNTIL you find someone you can click with. " <<<So it does have a happy ending. :love:

But there is an angular T-Square with Mars, Jupiter and Saturn. No way around it but meeting it head on. And that's what you have been doing. :ninja:

Haha I have ,true. Sometimes it makes me sad but I've tried to accept that I might not find someone before 30. There is nothing wrong in that of course, I just wished for myself it would happen a bit sooner haha.

Thank you for being so kind towards my chart hehe
 
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