Any chance for long term committed relationship with kids?

[Lunaria]

Good evening,
can anyone please offer insight into my relationship from astrological point of view? I am in less than 2 years together and living with my partner and 3 kids. He is not their father and he is also 13 years older than me. We both had lots of dramatic events in our personal life since we met each other coming from outside, big changes. That has put a strain on our relationship. I really want to get married in the future and have child one or two with him. How things were going recently we seem very far from that so I wonder is this crisis caused by what happened to my daughter recently going to pass and we will be stronger as a family unit or we don't have a future together? I am posting below our synastry and our charts, I dont know his birth time unfortunately (and i have put it as noon) so this is not very accurate but maybe you can see something going on...

 

[waybread]

Sorry, Lunaria, but I'm a bit confused. You seem to be saying that you have three children now, one of whom recently caused you some trouble; your partner doesn't seem to want marriage or more children, and you've both been under a lot of stress lately.

So maybe the more important question is whether your lives will settle down and stabilize to the point where it would be sensible to discuss marriage and expanding your family.

I must say that your synastry (2-chart comparison) does not show a lot of compatibility; but if you want to post a midpoint composite chart, it may give a different picture and we can take a look at it.

If you don't know your partner's birth time, it's best to input it as "unknown." You will get a chart without houses, but a false birth time can give wildly inaccurate houses.

 

[Lunaria]

Sorry, Lunaria, but I'm a bit confused. You seem to be saying that you have three children now, one of whom recently caused you some trouble; your partner doesn't seem to want marriage or more children, and you've both been under a lot of stress lately.

So maybe the more important question is whether your lives will settle down and stabilize to the point where it would be sensible to discuss marriage and expanding your family.

I must say that your synastry (2-chart comparison) does not show a lot of compatibility; but if you want to post a midpoint composite chart, it may give a different picture and we can take a look at it.

If you don't know your partner's birth time, it's best to input it as "unknown." You will get a chart without houses, but a false birth time can give wildly inaccurate houses.

Thank you for your response,
The thing is my partner says that he wants us to have a child or two in the near future and we spoke about getting married. He has very harmonious relationship with kids and we are all supportive of each other. Problems like losing a job, house and changing everything after 15 years of being settled or people getting seriously ill around us are heavy circumstances that would put a strain on any relationship. Considering all of that i feel there is a potential because we are there for each other but my question is does astrology support this in any way? Also maybe my personal natal chart could reveal that i am someone who is not realistic when it comes to relationships? I would like if you could be honest as there must be something that has brought us together in this passionate and interesting relationship full of creativity and joint projects. I have put his birth time as unknown now.

 

[IleneK]

The synastry is not encouraging to me. It looks like all the inner personal planets out through Mars are in challenging square aspects [his Moon may or may not be in Scorpio]. Also both Sun to the other’s Moon are in hard aspect by sign. I think what may draw you is your exalted Venus conjunct with and receiving his Mars in Pisces by exaltation. It is a visercal connection, but exaltation by definition is, in part, exaggeration and not particularly long lasting.

Overall, I don’t see much ease or harmony in the synastry.

You might want to post this question in the Relational Horary forum to see if there might be a more specific answer?

 

[blackbery]

The relationship is very, very complicated.
There are some really good aspects btwn you & some not so good.
plays a major role so possible that neither one of you are very realistic or
practical about the relationship.
The chemistry is there, the sexual attraction ...the comfort you bring each other.
His emotional with his is extremely positive.
not a good aspect but his - this is not a relationship that either one of
you can end because there is very strong passion & shared interests.
Your & you can be a real inspiration to him & bring him joy.

Like I said, there are postitives & negatives & astrology cannot tell you what the future will hold withhim.
There is always free will.
Why do some people stay together & why do some people break up during the difficulties.
It depends on many factors.

With current his , he is feeling this energy very deeply. The full moon tomorrow may
just send him over the edge, meaning, he might explode & walk out or say horrible things.
Don't push him at this time....in Jan, moves direct again & things will improve.

You BOTH can have a 'dreamy' view in relationships where you ignore the 'red flags' or
the negative stuff.
You both need to be more aware of realistic goals in the relationship; it's never going to be perfect.

With your being hit with , you feel that you are in a struggle of your life.
It can be extremely painful at this time.
I'm sorry to hear about all your troubles, particularly with your daughter.
Take one day at a time. Deal with what you have to deal with but don't stress out too much.
You will survive & thrive.
Whatever will happen will happen; some things are beyond are control....
but other things like our emotions & how we deal with life is entirely up to each individual.
Forget about worrying about possible children in the future; you've got enough on your plate right now.
Maybe later you can consider a child with him if the marriage is going well.

It IS a negative, stressful period the entire world is in right now.
Don't forget to breathe deeeply, give thanks 4 all your blessings & love your children & husband
AND YOURSELF!!!


❤️❤️❤️

 

[Lunaria]

The synastry is not encouraging to me. It looks like all the inner personal planets out through Mars are in challenging square aspects [his Moon may or may not be in Scorpio]. Also both Sun to the other’s Moon are in hard aspect by sign. I think what may draw you is your exalted Venus conjunct with and receiving his Mars in Pisces by exaltation. It is a visercal connection, but exaltation by definition is, in part, exaggeration and not particularly long lasting.

Overall, I don’t see much ease or harmony in the synastry.

You might want to post this question in the Relational Horary forum to see if there might be a more specific answer?

Hello Irene,
thank you for your response! I am interested in how long is exaltation meant to last and how can I find out?

 

[Lunaria]

The relationship is very, very complicated.
There are some really good aspects btwn you & some not so good.
plays a major role so possible that neither one of you are very realistic or
practical about the relationship.
The chemistry is there, the sexual attraction ...the comfort you bring each other.
His emotional with his is extremely positive.
not a good aspect but his - this is not a relationship that either one of
you can end because there is very strong passion & shared interests.
Your & you can be a real inspiration to him & bring him joy.

Like I said, there are postitives & negatives & astrology cannot tell you what the future will hold withhim.
There is always free will.
Why do some people stay together & why do some people break up during the difficulties.
It depends on many factors.

With current his , he is feeling this energy very deeply. The full moon tomorrow may
just send him over the edge, meaning, he might explode & walk out or say horrible things.
Don't push him at this time....in Jan, moves direct again & things will improve.

You BOTH can have a 'dreamy' view in relationships where you ignore the 'red flags' or
the negative stuff.
You both need to be more aware of realistic goals in the relationship; it's never going to be perfect.

With your being hit with , you feel that you are in a struggle of your life.
It can be extremely painful at this time.
I'm sorry to hear about all your troubles, particularly with your daughter.
Take one day at a time. Deal with what you have to deal with but don't stress out too much.
You will survive & thrive.
Whatever will happen will happen; some things are beyond are control....
but other things like our emotions & how we deal with life is entirely up to each individual.
Forget about worrying about possible children in the future; you've got enough on your plate right now.
Maybe later you can consider a child with him if the marriage is going well.

It IS a negative, stressful period the entire world is in right now.
Don't forget to breathe deeeply, give thanks 4 all your blessings & love your children & husband
AND YOURSELF!!!


❤️❤️❤️

Thank you Blackberry on this very elaborated response. I can't tell if our personal charts are very troubled but life has been tough on both even before we met each other. I think we are both good in chaneling pain and negative energy through art, meditation, sports...and most beautiful thing is that we are doing those things together...We have very passionate views and sometimes we can offend each other with a way we speak, there is also a clash of cultures.
I agree with you completely that we all have free will and we need to take each day as it comes....and it makes me smile as you said that i can be his inspiration and bring him joy.
I count my blessings every day and got a strong willpower to overcome anything that comes my way )

 

[waybread]

I don't practice a fortune-telling kind of natal chart interpretation. There is a saying in modern western astrology that "the stars impel but they do not compel." So while there's always a "chance" for marriage and more children, the question is more like, how would this probably work out for you-- and for your children, present or hoped-for?

I agree with the others that your synastry (2-chart comparison) with your partner is not as harmonious as one would wish. Sometimes a composite chart will give a different answer because it shows how you two function as a couple, vs. as two separate individuals. This chart shows a fair bit of tension, with that lovely Jupiter-Juno-Venus-- nonetheless involved in a tough T-square with Mars and Pluto. Your composite sun sextile Venus is really helpful for compatibility, so the secret to success will be to minimize the tensions, aggression, and inter-personal power dynamics. Getting into debates about who's right and who's wrong, or a clash of wills over who dominates a given issue will be really problematic for you two. Hopefully you both can work on inter-personal harmony.

Venus trine Neptune is an idealistic aspect that is well disposed when channeled into artistic outlets.

Both your and your partner's charts seem reasonably fertile (moons in water signs; his 5th house with a water sign on the cusp.) I see no reason why you couldn't have more children.

Just now transiting Mars is in your 5th house of children. It's gone deeply retrograde, so it's spending more time in Gemini now than is usual. Mars energizes (and can aggravate) what it touches, so you may be thinking more about additional children these days than is typical for you. But this in itself isn't a great reason to have more children, especially if your finances and your partner's views on more children are unstable.

Your natal moon conjunct Venus in Pisces gives you a very sensitive, loving nature; but it may not be the most realistic placement. With the moon ruling your 7th house of marriage, you may romanticize marriage more than your partner does. (Saturn and Pluto in Libra, Pluto opposite Juno-Venus.)

Best wishes, W.

 

[Lunaria]

I don't practice a fortune-telling kind of natal chart interpretation. There is a saying in modern western astrology that "the stars impel but they do not compel." So while there's always a "chance" for marriage and more children, the question is more like, how would this probably work out for you-- and for your children, present or hoped-for?

I agree with the others that your synastry (2-chart comparison) with your partner is not as harmonious as one would wish. Sometimes a composite chart will give a different answer because it shows how you two function as a couple, vs. as two separate individuals. This chart shows a fair bit of tension, with that lovely Jupiter-Juno-Venus-- nonetheless involved in a tough T-square with Mars and Pluto. Your composite sun sextile Venus is really helpful for compatibility, so the secret to success will be to minimize the tensions, aggression, and inter-personal power dynamics. Getting into debates about who's right and who's wrong, or a clash of wills over who dominates a given issue will be really problematic for you two. Hopefully you both can work on inter-personal harmony.

Venus trine Neptune is an idealistic aspect that is well disposed when channeled into artistic outlets.

Both your and your partner's charts seem reasonably fertile (moons in water signs; his 5th house with a water sign on the cusp.) I see no reason why you couldn't have more children.

Just now transiting Mars is in your 5th house of children. It's gone deeply retrograde, so it's spending more time in Gemini now than is usual. Mars energizes (and can aggravate) what it touches, so you may be thinking more about additional children these days than is typical for you. But this in itself isn't a great reason to have more children, especially if your finances and your partner's views on more children are unstable.

Your natal moon conjunct Venus in Pisces gives you a very sensitive, loving nature; but it may not be the most realistic placement. With the moon ruling your 7th house of marriage, you may romanticize marriage more than your partner does. (Saturn and Pluto in Libra, Pluto opposite Juno-Venus.)

Best wishes, W.

Thank you so much for your very detailed response. I got to admit there was always an element of power struggle between us as we are both equally independent and stubborn. There is also a great element of idealism around, poetry and doing art workshops together and lots of holistic therapies. I have been thinking about children as we spoke about it and he said he would want more than one in near future. I was very skeptical if that was going to happen because of our housing situation and finances and depressive mood that has entered our home after recent event with my daughter. How would you explain this Pluto opposite Juno-Venus and Saturn and Pluto in Libra? I think my partner is slightly apprehensive about marriage because of his family past and trauma. Btw i love your quotes

 

[IleneK]

Hello Irene,
thank you for your response! I am interested in how long is exaltation meant to last and how can I find out?

Your Venus will always exalt his Mars, kind of like wearing rose-colored glasses.
If you are asking when the illusion of that exaltation will fall away, I don't think a natal chart can answer that question.
Or to be fair, I am not able to see the answer as to when the bubble will burst or the veil with be drawn aside in a natal chart. But there are some folks on this forum who may be able to answer you.
Wishing you the best,

 

[waybread]

Pluto is a very powerful planet that few people handle well. At its best, Pluto rules profound transformation, like the myth of the phoenix. People generally resist profound transformation, so Pluto tends to become involved in bullying and power struggles in an attempt to maintain the upper hand. If you are both interested in a journey of reinventing yourselves, I think that's about the best way to take it. Pluto asks us to release anything that is metaphorically dead or dying so that new growth can take place.

I don't know what happened to your daughter. I sometimes joke that I am an amateur astrologer, not a mind-reader. If you care to share about it, I might be able to see more in the chart about her. Your fifth house of children is ruled by Mercury, squared by Pluto.

 

[Lunaria]

I appreciate your effort and kind response!
I feel Pluto has a strong impact on my own personality and soul development. Firstly my and (children's life as well) has been full of dramatic events, death and sudden changes that have tested my inner strength, burnt me to ashes and rebuilt me again. How much i know about my partner he has been in near death situations several times same as me. Over the years i have learned to control better my own impulses and tendency to stir people in certain direction or trying to control everything and everyone around me. There is a tendency of "i know best" which both and partner and I struggle with. My daughter has suffered sexual assault while being looked after by one of my closest friends. I feel betrayed as well as angry and feel strong urge to revenge. Not only for what happened to my daughter but also the fact that my friend has been covering up abuse of her own children and didnt seek help for them. The fact that i blame myself for trusting wrong person with my own daughter and fact that my hands are tied with law and justice system impacted my mental health. While i am trying to help my daughter to heal i feel i want to punish people who have harmed her and other kids. This has been going on now for last two months and atmosphere in my home is completely different, i almost felt like i want someone to come and fix this mess. Also I dont know does it have anything to do with it but my daughter is gemini sun and ascendant.

 

[waybread]

What is your possibility for filing a lawsuit against your daughter's abuser? I don't think undirected anger will help your daughter, but learning that her abuser has been punished by the authorities just might. Hopefully you can also arrange for psychological counseling for her.

 

[Lunaria]

What is your possibility for filing a lawsuit against your daughter's abuser? I don't think undirected anger will help your daughter, but learning that her abuser has been punished by the authorities just might. Hopefully you can also arrange for psychological counseling for her.

We are going on the court but it's her word against everyone else's as she confided in me months after it happened. She speaks for three girls, one of them special needs against 2 people and one adult who knew but did nothing. Problem is the system where the child tells other minor (my daughters friend also confied in her) about their abuse but if they dont speak to police or social workers, they dont have a case. We know these 3 girls (and maybe more than 3) were abused but there is a lack of proof. Also in this country adult who knows about abuse and doesnt speak up isn't going to be convicted. In other countries people who cover up abuse can be taken on the court as well. She has been getting counselling for weeks now. She seems to be strong and in good spirits at the moment, i hope we are going in the right direction.