[A lot of text ahead! Grab a soda before you read]
Hi! I don't feel comfortable sharing my birth info, but I'm very bothered and slightly desperate hence I'm making the effort!
If it's any use to you, here it is:
May 2, 1997
21:09 or 9:09 PM
Flushing, Queens, NY
I've recently made the switch to Jyotisha and my chart has changed significantly - though not for the better. Since about the age of 5 I've been going through my Saturn Mahadasha which could probably explain why my childhood and adolescence was/is complete garbage riddled with loneliness and god forsaken dental issues...
Yes but your Saturn mahadasha ends on 23 Nov 2022 and as mathur dinesh mentioned, the effects are tapering off. The worst seems to be over.
Life for me - like many - has not been easy, but I've always painfully held onto the hope that the future will one day be beautiful and the people I love will be proud of me. Nothing seems to go right in terms of education (dropped out of H.S), friendship (unable to hold onto them, much more comfortable in my own world than with people), and family (family members that don't believe in mental illness) so my only hope was to pour my soul into music and help others who are also depressed or plagued by serious limitations in life. After reading all I could from Barbara Pijan's website and exploring the effects of my Saturn Mahadasha and upcoming Sade Sati, I don't know if I have that luxury anymore.
Your Moon in Aquarius Purvabhadra is in the 5th house of self expression, children, sports etc and it should ideally shind like the Sun ( Leo) ,but it is occupied by the moon in Aqua which makes you feel that you have mental issues. There may be problems in negotiating emotions for example (others cannot comprehend maybe). Do you find it difficult to ' feel' feelings and think them up instead??
However this placement has a unique advantage over others when it comes to facing extreme situations. These natives will be able to remain calm without letting the negative energy get to them. For example, if there is a mentally or physically disabled child, your presence may make them calm.
Discovering Vedic Astrology has made me feel worse about being alive, but unfortunately, it makes a great deal of sense in explaining the quality of life I've lived so far. In my opinion, many Vedic astrologers seem to lack empathy: "You will be depressed, unable to ever be happy, be sick and miserly..." Where is the compassion in delivering such cruel words to someone? Maybe most of us were bad in our past lives, but our hearts have grown in this one.
Unfortunately,many vedic astrologers interpret things literally instead of considering the whole picture. For example, your Sun is in Bharani exalted. Now if you read the attributes of this in Vedic astrology, it may say that this is a cruel nakshatra. ( I am Bharani Asc too). Is it cruel ???? Yes and no. You see,in this world if you encounter someone doing bad things,there are two options , ignore or retaliate. Bharani will retaliate. So it is a ' cruel' one. This can be one interpretation. So don't get bogged down by these readings.
Is there any hope to make my dreams come true or should I give up and accept the sad karma I've reaped from gluttonous past lives? I can accept that this life won't be to my liking, but the pain of that acceptance will take a long time to heal since I very much thought I'd have a chance at happiness. Killing myself would only make the next life worse, wouldn't it? As depressing as my horoscope is, I don't think I could end my own life anyway. I love my mother too much to leave her alone. (Moon in 4th, perhaps? ) Sometimes I want to give up and leave it to fate, but that feels like such a cowardly way to live life. My mother relies on nothing but fate and even she admitted her life could've been better had she taken more risks. But why try to keep going if I'm headed nowhere? For every low there is a high and I keep telling myself I can fight and rise above the conditions I was born into and make a name for myself, but then I fall down and tell myself there is no point because I am a cursed, worthless, miserable girl.
No you are not a worthless and miserable girl. Your Sun is in Bharani exalted ( Bharani is the receptacle for everyones problems), ascendant Vishaka the branch and Moon in Purvabhadra. Now , Vishaka Libra and Purvabhadra Aqua are born 'knowing the truth'. That is why you may find it difficult to connect with your peers and feel at home with the adults instead. Yours is an old soul and this will sort itself out once you are older.
The switch from Tropical to Sidereal puts my Mercury into the 6th rather than 5th, so Saturn is sleeping somberly with Ketu - this combination is...I have no words for it, really. I have no problem with creativity (not anymore. Was severely outwardly uncreative and boring as a child, finally began to write songs at 16) and deeply desire to express myself, but am thwarted on almost every level. I've very recently decided to stop hiding out in my bedroom (Ketu in Tropical 4th?) and share some of my ideas to the world with uplifting results, but maybe I am grossly idealistic and it will go nowhere. I read on a website (I can share the link if needed) that having Saturn and Ketu in my 5th means my 5th house is badly afflicted and I must consult an "expert" astrologer. Well...here I am asking for help. I can attest to awkwardness with children. My sister recently had a daughter and some of that fear has been clearing up slowly but surely and I am truly starting to see the beauty and wonderful potential in children. It seems too good to be true that I could evolve so early. According to KRS Astrology on Youtube, concrete results in evolution begin to take place after the Saturn Return when the Navamsa chart holds importance. My Navamsa also looks unfortunate and I am not even sure I will make it past 29, to be honest.
As per Lahiri Ayanamsa, Saturn Ketu is in the 6th house of health, debt, enemies etc.. so health bound to be affected during Sat Mahadasha.
Is there anything in my chart that could point to potential happiness? Saturn in 5th has been a downer on my love life and has dampened my ability to let go and have fun like others my age who couldn't understand why I liked being at home so much, but the one thing I could always turn to when the world felt too harsh was writing, singing, and drawing. I'm too shy to share my mind with others, but when I do, they are impressed. My teachers loved me, but were disappointed in my lack of enthusiasm. They always said I could do well, but I never try hard enough. When I very rarely had the confidence to share my writing, that was the bridge that connected me to the collective.
Anyway, please tell me what you think. I thought things would brighten up in the next few months, but maybe I was wrong. I really don't want to give up on my dreams. Living the rest of my days as a miserable loner is not my ideal, but my chart doesn't seem to hold much power. Leaving a legacy, rising above the obstacles, helping the people of this world realize their worth and importance...is it all just a pipe dream? Barbara Pijan said that a person with Saturn in the 5th is not allowed to be special and unique. I've never read anything so crushing and heart-breaking. Not to mention the three planets in my 6th that control my 12th, 11th, 10th, and 7th. The 6th house is unpleasant, but of course I have three planets in it. Of course!
I've been collecting info on my favorite musicians like Kurt Cobain, Nick Drake, and Janis Joplin. They have some unfavorable placements (like everyone in this world), but there is something special in their chart that has helped them leave their legacy despite the pain they've lived through. Kurt Cobain entered his Saturn Mahadasha a few years before Nirvana was created, but also allegedly committed suicide during that period as well. Janis Joplin died at age 27 during the beginning of her Saturn Mahadasha. I honestly dislike Saturn, but he won't leave me alone no matter how much I try to run away. It's like his invisible hands are forcing me to look at him and hear his painful words. I have to admit that I am a bit jealous of people who won't enter their Saturn Mahadasha until very late in life. Why do I have to experience mine so early? What is the point? I am going to enter Mars Antardasha in October and I am scared. I recently turned 19 and I feel sad. My parents and my sister were free and fun at this age. When will it be my turn? Moon Bhukti has been hard on the mind, but it has been a quietly creative time for me, at the very least. I rekindled the relationship with my sister and my beautiful niece entered my life so it isn't all bad. The worst Antardasha's by far have been with Mercury, Ketu, the end of Venus (the beginning and middle were bittersweet but beautiful to me), and Sun. The middle and end of Saturn Antardasha was also extremely painful and the things that happened at that time will haunt me for as long as I live.
Please try to be gentle if you have to break any bad news. I've been tearing up all day and questioning the point of this life...The limits of reality sure are something, huh? I sound pathetic, but hopefully you must realize where this sadness is coming from. If I can't be happy in this life, at the very least I hope that all of you can make your dreams come true in this life and the next. I see so many comments on YouTube where people complain about their life and wonder why it is miserable and torturous. It seems unfair.
Why do others have to live poorly? Do you think there will ever be a time where everyone can live in happiness? I wish I could take their sadness away, but am I allowed to make an impact? This is gonna sound strange, but I'd feel a bit bad if I could accomplish good things while others are out there struggling just to buy food. Sometimes I am ambivalent about my worldly ambitions, but in my heart I know what I truly wish for. At the bare minimum, I can hesitantly admit that without Saturn's harsh influence, I would've been very spoiled and vain. I feel humbled, but at my age, I also feel disconnected from most of my generation. I have a strong urge to evolve, but I push it so hard that it leaves me frustrated.
Living in the present and not focusing on the trials of the past and uncertainty of the future is enormously hard, but I wonder if things could run smoother if I put in effort. All I want to do is make music. It is my dream to positively effect people like my favorite musicians have done for me, but I'm so scared of everything. The reason many of my friendships don't last is because I'm uncomfortable outside of my house...I could stay in here for months at a time, never seeing the outside world or interacting with people.
TL;DR: Can I rise above the hardships or is this life cursed?
Now I am done writing. A thank you in advance to those who read all of this <3
It's just matter of time (and age)...things will get better with each day passed....Mercury Dasha seems far better than Saturn.....you're too young to be too worried....take a deep breath and look around ...life is still beautiful with all its ugliness...
The strongest house is the 7th house of partnership with Sun Venus and Mercury in Aries . You have the potential to be a great healer (especially of children). Also Rahu Ketu Axis is from the 6th to 12th axis and Rahu is in Virgo Uttaraphalguni which indicates ' social service' . You may do well in this sector and please see if there is any degree or qualification you can obtain in this.Normally,for Purvabhadra natives ages from 24 to 33 will be good.
So go ahead and try ..
Do as your spirit wills and God bless !!
Yes, you have been in the major-period of Saturn since 2003. Saturn is with Ketu in the fifth house, has the aspect of Mars, its dispositor is debilitated, and Saturn is placed in the sixth house in the navamsha chart (though its own in the navamsha chart). The association of Saturn with Ketu and aspect of Mars on it are undesirable. The remaining infirmities are not so serious. During this period you meet with success with much difficulty. Romance does not materialise. Professional matters remain unsatisfactory. Health is indifferent etc.
You are currently under the sub-period of the Moon in the major-period of Saturn since Oct/2014. It is ending on 23/May/2016. This must have been a difficult time as it makes the person despondent and unhappy. He loses hope and thinks that his world is crumbling around him.
Mercifully the sub-period of the Moon is ending in a week’s time giving way to the sub-period of Mars. One has to be careful with regard to ones health in this sub-period which goes on till July/2017. Otherwise it should prove to be much better than that of the Moon.
Saturn ends in Nov/2022. The major-period Mercury will operate from this date which would be far superior to that of Saturn.
i opened this thread because i have "drawn the ire" of occult organisations and dealt with not only curses but prolonged, physical harassment from them, as well as "energetic".
as a novice astrologer, last night i researched "fixed stars" and compared them to my birth chart. i don't know exactly who or how that list was devised, but according to my conjuncts, i ought to have a dozen parts of my body disfigured and have died from fire by now.
as an epistemological solipsist and indefatigable logician, what is outside of you is unknowable. it's good imo that you've worried yourself sick at an early age about what all these astrologers say so you can get on with it.
it sounds as if your family and background are relatively supportive, at least not so detractive that you never had the tranquility to pursue the arts. "cultivation requires distance from corruption.." you have a rare opportunity in life to cultivate your expression. i'm sort of a maven of audio dsp (vst developer) if you have any questions there. of course, you have the wherewithal and facility to enquire with communities at the right place.
i don't really have license to say more as this is the vedic astrology forum.. i secured the assistance of a christian exorcist, they believe curses are nullified since the crucifixion.. in my case we had some pretty freaky documentation. tbh feeling disparate from the generation may be more of a blessing please continue to think for yourself, evolve where you can, but don't punish yourself for it. what the commonality has been reduced to by malignity is a travesty, every thread of awareness and consideration should be cherished.
as you know many people don't get much of an opportunity to realise their self worth whatsoever, so there is some sense of "drama" to nourish what is present. as far as service to others, (again i'm probably missing things already said in terms of vedic interpretation) you're young and still have to experience the fruition of what you are capable of. after those abilities blossom (*snif* what a beautiful allegory) is when one is more likely to see their potential in service to others.