Abusive or narcissistic tendencies in this synastry?


New member
I don't have a precise birth time, (though I know he has a Gemini moon), so I know I can't get a full interpretation since his angles and house positions aren't relevant, but I'd appreciate any insight. I suspect I'm in a toxic, controlling, emotionally abusive , intensely sexual, hot/cold, and manipulative dynamic full of confusing mind games from him (doesn't help that he's a psychiatrist). I can't seem to extract myself. Are there any indicators of abusive or manipulative traits in his chart or our synastry? I've attached his chart, along with our synastry wheel. I'm blue, he is red.

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Staff member
Re: Any indicators of abuse and emotional manipulation in this synastry?

The indicator of abuse and manipulation is his behavior, not the synastry. There's no birth chart placement, and no synastry placement, that can flat out tell you abuse and manipulation will happen. If it does happen, astrological charts can give us a sense of how and why, but the very same charts could be associated with a good relationship or a bad one. The difference is what the native has chosen to do with them.

Are you still in a relationship with him? If so, get out. He's told you who he is. Believe him. Astrology can't do any better.
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Well-known member
Re: Any indicators of abuse and emotional manipulation in this synastry?

Who is in Blue and who is in red?

I am assuming you are the Blue?

Her are aspects that are very troubling:

Red's Mars and Pluto square Blues Asc.
Red's Mars/Pluto sit on Blues. Sun.

Sun/Moon Asc aspects are the most Important! Both of these suggest Red will attempt to block Blues expression.

Your Moon's are square each other - not good!

And Blue's Sun, Mars, Uranus all fall in Red's H6. In synastry H6 is the worst house for luminaries to fall in for emotional/romantic connections.

While I agree that the charts cannot tell everything , they cannot tell you if someone is a narcissist but they can tell you what kind of challenges the relationship will yield. If you determine that someone is a narcissist even a great synastry chart will not guarantee a smooth, fulfilling ride. The natals can give clues to what kind of issues a person may have but it cannot tell if they have dealt with those issues and healed or are aware of the need for healing most of their trauma. I have a short article on my blog about how to look for red flags - look for the shadow qualities of each sign which can help you figure out how well another potential partner has dealt with his negative traits/emotional baggage. It's entitled "shadow qualities by sign". Look for the better qualities of their Sun,Moon and Rising signs and if there are more of the shadow qualities being expressed, that could be a huge red flag.

Barb at thelivingsky.wordpress.com

Zodiac is Math

Active member
From a atomic and mathematical standpoint....the atomic chemistry between you and him consist of 4 levels of charges which are 8 positive charges 18 partial positive charges 22 partial negative charges 13 negative charges.....his chart is positive charged and your chart is neutral meaning it consists of positive becauseand negative charges.....his attraction to you is the 22 partial negative charges which is a unbalanced attraction and your attraction to him is the 18 partial positive charges ( due to your negative side attracting to his positive charges ) which is a unbalanced attraction....it can be a good thing or a bad thing but only you two can determine that


Well-known member
Not only mars/pluto on sun (attraction but authority, power and volatility), but Saturn/mercury and moon/saturn, both very restraining, cold and critical contacts. You've already begun to see signs of this.
The chart is not easy to read, too many asteroids and the table with the actual degrees of planets is missing.
However, it looks like Moon square moon and moon square Venus.
These are signs of basic incompatibility.
Osamenor says it all, you have to look at the individual chart for possible negative aspects, but then you can't know from that how the person has handled those energies, whether they've channeled them positively or just succumbed. From what you write, he hasn't resolved all of the negative aspects, and that might be why he chose psychiatry as a profession. To work out his inner conflicts.