CancerEvolve
Banned
Hello, i am a fellow Cancerian, my father is a Libra and my mother another Cancerian.
I think anyone here who knows even a little about astrology knows that Cancer & Libra in a relationship is really the worst kind, heck Cancer and Aries are not recommended but it can work if each other understand and attempt to try with each other correct? and there is a shed load more to work with being an Aries.
By the way one of the most valued friends and people i would go to the end for is a Libran i am not against them, she is a genuine person, a warm soul and beautiful inside and out.
Cancer is ruled by emotion, yup we are, some of us can actually control it to a certain degree and others cannot.
My mum is your typical Cancer, not very social, close circle of friends but chooses hers extremely carefully blah blah blah.
Can use emotions to manipulate but in the end it's heart felt and she means well.
My dad when i was a kid had a foul temper, physically beat us and the sharpest tongue ever, he killed my mum inside.
My dad had done all sorts, hit us with belts, i even got 70 hits with a kaine across my back which i am still physically scarred from.
I don't know where his rage came from, my mum would argue with him that's for sure but she just could not put up the same fight, as even when she was right he was able to abuse her good nature and bend it to his own will and agender.
Very narcissistic like nature and is always correct.
At first i was more attached to my father, and i saw my mum as the softer end, so would play up when my dad was out with his friends, getting drunk or gambling.
My mum would be the one always having to cope with 4 kids at once, and dad would be the abusive one who we feared. It's not just physically but mentally too.
He would make us stand there for hours and listen to him go on about how pathetic we are and how much bad we have done and then tell us how we could do better. Whilst i have a massive headache tears running down my face and i can no longer bear to stand any longer.
The house was never tidy and was always a mess, it's difficult with 4 kids and no one hands you a book on how to be a parent.
Some times me and my brother got woke up in the early hours of the morning and were forced to tidy the entire kitchen from top to bottom, and was accompanied by a good few slaps and making us feel pain, not light either, full strength hits.
I am unsure of why my mum was so protective over us all but well even if i begged was never allowed out to play, so for this suffered socially and was not able to really find myself, living in fear and no actual way to socialise.
It got so bad that his abuse turned into irrational fears, we would also watch scary adult movies too, it was so bad i would literally wet myself before i went to the toilet because the fear of monsters overwhelmed my mind but i would do my best to hide it, if my dad ever found out which he did with my brother, he would make a mockery of us. My brother is an Aquarius and a completely different person to me yet somehow the fear must have been very similar.
I am 26 now and i had that fear until around the age of 23, however no where close to as bad as it was when i was with my dad at a young age, never wet myself and i have full control over my bodily functions.
Now my mum began to mirror my father a bit, she slapped us, she threw a calculator at my brothers head once and threw me to the ground hard and i landed on my head, she instantly regretted both occasions but the fact remains it still happened, but i kind of see and understand what was going on.
I won't repeat everything else that has gone on in my life, if you wish to see more about me when i was in care and growing up refer to this thread in the below link.
Post number 6.
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=99130
Now when i was in my teen years as i went into care at 12 years old, i did not know myself, i once was bought 2 pet hamsters, i killed one, put that back in it's cage and the other one was terrified and tried to nibble it's way out of the metal cage injuring it's self.
To this day i regret it and would take it back if i could, it hurts that i could even do that but due to my immaturity and not knowing myself which is no excuse, i don't think i knew any better.
I was brought up correctly, my first carer was a guy who would go on to move to Bulgaria who ends up marrying that special Libran i was mentioning who i would go to the end for.
I did something wrong and i ended up cowering in a corner and he was actually nice to me and said it's ok i think he knew i was scared.
From then we grew a huge bond and he wanted to take me with him to Bulgaria, i was all for it but my mum & dad were allowed to voice opinions and social services stopped it from happening.
I then moved with my final carer, a Cancer female, young about 27 i think when i moved in and new to foster caring.
Through my time with her, she went through hell.... first guy she was with cheated on her.
Second guy was a Scorpio who punched holes through her house walls, this house was brand new and newly built too it was a lovely place, however i left and was in the Army went on leave for a week only to find she has moved house and is with another man and that guy set her house on fire.
I had a recent visit to see her, i told her i was not scared of him but he was a built guy about 5 foot 9 and strong as an ox whilst me i was 6 foot and a rake with no muscle mass, i told her i wanted to do something but there was her job on the line if i got hurt and then there is me in my head thinking logically i don't think i have what it takes to physically overpower him.
From bullying in school i was called ugly, weak etc, i got hit by this one lad all the time for no reason it was disturbing, bounced my head off a window almost broke the glass, i just got used to it. but i did sometimes try to boast about myself because i had no other way of trying to impress others and make friends.
Something about me was different though my energy is ridiculous and unlimited or seemingly so.
With my last carer i was talking about she had some really bad eggs... a lad that would try to start fights with me, she allowed him once to confront me as she just could not stop his deluded mentality and bullying nature, i gave him a swift push and he went flying up a wall and ended up in tears holding his back, another time he was going at it in front of my friends who i knew through my carers family etc, i pinned him up a wall with one arm and he balled in tears, i then got out of the room and put a huge hole through my own bedroom door with a single punch, i immediately went downstairs to my carer and said i cannot take this kind of abuse from anyone and was more of a teary thing and one of the only times needed a hug.
From then on i became more self aware that i'm actually strong physically but never attempted to use it... i left school, and my carer got me working, which was a good idea, i did gardening, laying flag stones and laying bark etc which was physically demanding but i enjoyed it, i worked for no wage and got EMA which was some kind of supportive money, only 30 pound a week.
I then left care and well my next career would be the Army.
Out of the Army through learning more from myself i ended up back with my original family, my mum and dad.
Only now i am wiser, my dad cannot control me, cannot stand over me, cannot hold a candle to how strong i am.
I made it clear to him that i still care about him and he is my father, but i also brought up how bad he was, his only comeback was that he regrets it, i mentioned once that ok i am willing to forgive you and give you the benefit of the doubt.
My mum only just got over cancer...
My dad got into an argument with her and made her cry, he also promised to do something for her and failed and went out to his friends house instead.
My dad is an avid collector of CD's and movies.. a hoarder which he likes to call my mother but.. anyway.
My inner rage is boiling at this point i'm getting the pain signals from my mum and i just end up punching his entire CD collection cutting my own hands up and in the process becoming an animal and scaring the living hell out of my mother reducing her to tears, i immediately after my rage had cooled down gave her a hug and said i am sorry and that i am angry at dad not you.
He arrives home becomes angry but it's suppressed as he has met his match and more, did not last long and i gave him the reason why this happened, the only thing he could mention is how would you like this done to your stuff?
My mum still had arguments with my dad after this, my father refused to see a psychiatrist, my mum reminded him of it and he immediately threw a tantrum and said oh you are making this up even though she clearly had the paper work, i stood by her and said yeah it's real, never mind though another drainer for my mum and my dad just ***** out her positive energy and feeds on it.
My mum then became ill having irregular bleeding... goes to hospital and then will have a stroke and 2 major bleeds to her head causing her to be disabled.
My father did cry about this but at the same time i never knew if it was real.
My mums family is abusive too and she never had a great upbringing either, my grandma was pure evil and granddad.... well once he threatened me when i was about 8 years old with his air rifle, he also held me upside down and dunked my head in the toilet "to see the gold fish"
My mum stopped the visits to see them to protect her kids.
From all this, i have a massive temper that knows no boundaries, but i am in total control of it and will warn you before it comes close to this point, but if it does my dial hit's 11 not 10 like most people.
However i'm amazingly understanding, an excellent listener, caring, and highly intelligent.
My IQ score was 126 and i'm able to accomplish almost anything if i apply myself and concentrate.
I learnt from it all, my bro is slightly autistic, and has learning difficulties as does my little sister, my older sister escaped by accusing my dad of a false allegation of sexual assault which is verified as false and i would never lie about it.
I came back my dad helped me to get home from when i served my 3 month sentence in MCTC, i also think i had to come back to realise the extent and fully understand what was going on, now i am far better off for it, i can do without my family and have gained tremendous strength that would most likely break many other people.
Sorry for the rather depressing write up i thought i would express myself and share a darker side to a normally unsuspecting sign.
Also a good write up about Libra and their dark side below.
http://how-to-live-with-a-narcissis.../wanna-know-truth-about-libra-males-beat.html
I think anyone here who knows even a little about astrology knows that Cancer & Libra in a relationship is really the worst kind, heck Cancer and Aries are not recommended but it can work if each other understand and attempt to try with each other correct? and there is a shed load more to work with being an Aries.
By the way one of the most valued friends and people i would go to the end for is a Libran i am not against them, she is a genuine person, a warm soul and beautiful inside and out.
Cancer is ruled by emotion, yup we are, some of us can actually control it to a certain degree and others cannot.
My mum is your typical Cancer, not very social, close circle of friends but chooses hers extremely carefully blah blah blah.
Can use emotions to manipulate but in the end it's heart felt and she means well.
My dad when i was a kid had a foul temper, physically beat us and the sharpest tongue ever, he killed my mum inside.
My dad had done all sorts, hit us with belts, i even got 70 hits with a kaine across my back which i am still physically scarred from.
I don't know where his rage came from, my mum would argue with him that's for sure but she just could not put up the same fight, as even when she was right he was able to abuse her good nature and bend it to his own will and agender.
Very narcissistic like nature and is always correct.
At first i was more attached to my father, and i saw my mum as the softer end, so would play up when my dad was out with his friends, getting drunk or gambling.
My mum would be the one always having to cope with 4 kids at once, and dad would be the abusive one who we feared. It's not just physically but mentally too.
He would make us stand there for hours and listen to him go on about how pathetic we are and how much bad we have done and then tell us how we could do better. Whilst i have a massive headache tears running down my face and i can no longer bear to stand any longer.
The house was never tidy and was always a mess, it's difficult with 4 kids and no one hands you a book on how to be a parent.
Some times me and my brother got woke up in the early hours of the morning and were forced to tidy the entire kitchen from top to bottom, and was accompanied by a good few slaps and making us feel pain, not light either, full strength hits.
I am unsure of why my mum was so protective over us all but well even if i begged was never allowed out to play, so for this suffered socially and was not able to really find myself, living in fear and no actual way to socialise.
It got so bad that his abuse turned into irrational fears, we would also watch scary adult movies too, it was so bad i would literally wet myself before i went to the toilet because the fear of monsters overwhelmed my mind but i would do my best to hide it, if my dad ever found out which he did with my brother, he would make a mockery of us. My brother is an Aquarius and a completely different person to me yet somehow the fear must have been very similar.
I am 26 now and i had that fear until around the age of 23, however no where close to as bad as it was when i was with my dad at a young age, never wet myself and i have full control over my bodily functions.
Now my mum began to mirror my father a bit, she slapped us, she threw a calculator at my brothers head once and threw me to the ground hard and i landed on my head, she instantly regretted both occasions but the fact remains it still happened, but i kind of see and understand what was going on.
I won't repeat everything else that has gone on in my life, if you wish to see more about me when i was in care and growing up refer to this thread in the below link.
Post number 6.
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=99130
Now when i was in my teen years as i went into care at 12 years old, i did not know myself, i once was bought 2 pet hamsters, i killed one, put that back in it's cage and the other one was terrified and tried to nibble it's way out of the metal cage injuring it's self.
To this day i regret it and would take it back if i could, it hurts that i could even do that but due to my immaturity and not knowing myself which is no excuse, i don't think i knew any better.
I was brought up correctly, my first carer was a guy who would go on to move to Bulgaria who ends up marrying that special Libran i was mentioning who i would go to the end for.
I did something wrong and i ended up cowering in a corner and he was actually nice to me and said it's ok i think he knew i was scared.
From then we grew a huge bond and he wanted to take me with him to Bulgaria, i was all for it but my mum & dad were allowed to voice opinions and social services stopped it from happening.
I then moved with my final carer, a Cancer female, young about 27 i think when i moved in and new to foster caring.
Through my time with her, she went through hell.... first guy she was with cheated on her.
Second guy was a Scorpio who punched holes through her house walls, this house was brand new and newly built too it was a lovely place, however i left and was in the Army went on leave for a week only to find she has moved house and is with another man and that guy set her house on fire.
I had a recent visit to see her, i told her i was not scared of him but he was a built guy about 5 foot 9 and strong as an ox whilst me i was 6 foot and a rake with no muscle mass, i told her i wanted to do something but there was her job on the line if i got hurt and then there is me in my head thinking logically i don't think i have what it takes to physically overpower him.
From bullying in school i was called ugly, weak etc, i got hit by this one lad all the time for no reason it was disturbing, bounced my head off a window almost broke the glass, i just got used to it. but i did sometimes try to boast about myself because i had no other way of trying to impress others and make friends.
Something about me was different though my energy is ridiculous and unlimited or seemingly so.
With my last carer i was talking about she had some really bad eggs... a lad that would try to start fights with me, she allowed him once to confront me as she just could not stop his deluded mentality and bullying nature, i gave him a swift push and he went flying up a wall and ended up in tears holding his back, another time he was going at it in front of my friends who i knew through my carers family etc, i pinned him up a wall with one arm and he balled in tears, i then got out of the room and put a huge hole through my own bedroom door with a single punch, i immediately went downstairs to my carer and said i cannot take this kind of abuse from anyone and was more of a teary thing and one of the only times needed a hug.
From then on i became more self aware that i'm actually strong physically but never attempted to use it... i left school, and my carer got me working, which was a good idea, i did gardening, laying flag stones and laying bark etc which was physically demanding but i enjoyed it, i worked for no wage and got EMA which was some kind of supportive money, only 30 pound a week.
I then left care and well my next career would be the Army.
Out of the Army through learning more from myself i ended up back with my original family, my mum and dad.
Only now i am wiser, my dad cannot control me, cannot stand over me, cannot hold a candle to how strong i am.
I made it clear to him that i still care about him and he is my father, but i also brought up how bad he was, his only comeback was that he regrets it, i mentioned once that ok i am willing to forgive you and give you the benefit of the doubt.
My mum only just got over cancer...
My dad got into an argument with her and made her cry, he also promised to do something for her and failed and went out to his friends house instead.
My dad is an avid collector of CD's and movies.. a hoarder which he likes to call my mother but.. anyway.
My inner rage is boiling at this point i'm getting the pain signals from my mum and i just end up punching his entire CD collection cutting my own hands up and in the process becoming an animal and scaring the living hell out of my mother reducing her to tears, i immediately after my rage had cooled down gave her a hug and said i am sorry and that i am angry at dad not you.
He arrives home becomes angry but it's suppressed as he has met his match and more, did not last long and i gave him the reason why this happened, the only thing he could mention is how would you like this done to your stuff?
My mum still had arguments with my dad after this, my father refused to see a psychiatrist, my mum reminded him of it and he immediately threw a tantrum and said oh you are making this up even though she clearly had the paper work, i stood by her and said yeah it's real, never mind though another drainer for my mum and my dad just ***** out her positive energy and feeds on it.
My mum then became ill having irregular bleeding... goes to hospital and then will have a stroke and 2 major bleeds to her head causing her to be disabled.
My father did cry about this but at the same time i never knew if it was real.
My mums family is abusive too and she never had a great upbringing either, my grandma was pure evil and granddad.... well once he threatened me when i was about 8 years old with his air rifle, he also held me upside down and dunked my head in the toilet "to see the gold fish"
My mum stopped the visits to see them to protect her kids.
From all this, i have a massive temper that knows no boundaries, but i am in total control of it and will warn you before it comes close to this point, but if it does my dial hit's 11 not 10 like most people.
However i'm amazingly understanding, an excellent listener, caring, and highly intelligent.
My IQ score was 126 and i'm able to accomplish almost anything if i apply myself and concentrate.
I learnt from it all, my bro is slightly autistic, and has learning difficulties as does my little sister, my older sister escaped by accusing my dad of a false allegation of sexual assault which is verified as false and i would never lie about it.
I came back my dad helped me to get home from when i served my 3 month sentence in MCTC, i also think i had to come back to realise the extent and fully understand what was going on, now i am far better off for it, i can do without my family and have gained tremendous strength that would most likely break many other people.
Sorry for the rather depressing write up i thought i would express myself and share a darker side to a normally unsuspecting sign.
Also a good write up about Libra and their dark side below.
http://how-to-live-with-a-narcissis.../wanna-know-truth-about-libra-males-beat.html
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