Hi Boogy,
There is information contained in your natal chart which may shed light upon the issues you describe.
You are looking to be at least an intermediate level soul, intermediate to advanced soul level. You brought back quite a bit of karmic credit and debt in this life. More advanced souls take on quite a bit of karmic work.
If we look at your nodal axis, it is a reversed. This means you have been trying to balance Leo and Aquarius, 5/11 energy for many past lives. In this life you are meant to work on a deeper integration and focused expression of the positive traits of the two signs.
An 11h NN is a soul which is determined to bring about a more fair and equal community, to bring about change and do this through interaction with others.
Your Aquarius SN has spent many past lives as a rebel, societal change agent, scapegoat.
This soul has been somewhat detached from emotion, operating from the head. This is a soul who was good with abstract societal change, but was out of touch and had problems with one on one interactions. There were also issues around taking control of groups. Others may have seen you as quirky, eccentric and rebellious, bring societal change in rapid and dramatic ways.
In this life, the NN indicates that you are to be more heart centered, and become more adept at one on one interactions. You will use your personal power to bring about change, but in a cooperative way. You are to bring about change, but avoid revolution and chaos. There is a need to work via interaction and cooperation with others. Your goal in this life will to bring in change, but in a gentle, step wise way. Try to meet your audience where they are, not being too far ahead of them.
Your 12h is the house of karma, indicating karmic debt which echoes some of the themes in your reversed nodal axis. A 12h Sun has been an important well known person in past lives, but in this life, will work quietly behind the scenes. This is to balance the fame and accolades from past lives. This soul may have a sense that it is not appreciated or is receiving less recognition than it deserves. The Virgo (mutable) Sun indicates that in past lives the soul defined its identify via fame. In this life, you have chosen to find out who you really are. And to expect little in the way of external reward. Avoid being critical of others.
The 12h Sun may have karma connected to present life father or father figures.
A 12h Uranus indicates past lives involved in revolution and chaos, either as victim or perpetrator, and some karmic debt associated with this. A 12h Uranus often has a past life connection to Atlantis, and also has innate talent in the areas of acupuncture, massage therapy and astrology, all which use Uranian healing energy. The 12h Uranus often has spontaneous recall of past lives.
A 12h Pluto indicates karmic debt associated with use and abuse of power either as victim or perpetrator. In this life you are to use your power wisely, and also not be victimized.
There may also be compulsions and phobias in this life. A 12h Pluto has innate healing talent, as well as ability in the area of trance mediumship and clairvoyance. Your 6h Chiron also echoes the healing talent theme, as does your sensitive, intuitive and nurturing Cancer Moon.
The Moon/Mars aspect gives you courage, passion, but take care not to be intolerant or quarrelsome. A 10h Moon indicates that your current life mother has been with you in past lives as a parent.
Your grand trine is about karmic gifts brought forward for a job well done in past lives.
Hope this helps.
Julia