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View Full Version : Cat on a Hot Tin Roof??


Anonymous
06-20-2005, 05:44 PM
Friends,

I would be grateful if someone could look at my chart and comment. I am successfully recovering from a second bout of thyroid cancer in five years. Many events have occurred in between the bouts including the unexpected death of my mother and the diagnosis of our young child with a chronic (though manageable disease). Despite all of this, I feel that I have been able to rise above crises and much good has come out of the past few years: the start of an artisan related business which is succeeding, the happiness and health of both my children, and a continuing though somewhat difficult cold marriage of many years.

My problem is since last Fall when the second cancer bout and surgery occurred I have felt like a the proverbial cat on a hot tin roof. Often I am two steps away from wanting to begin my life all over again. Complicating matters immensely, I have become friends with a kind person (medical) and the connection is frighteningly intense. While platonic it is fraught with warmth spilling over into cerebral attraction and then sexual tension. That too makes me want to begin anew even more, but I am loathe to do anything but what I have done most of my life: the "right" thing-stick it out, all of it. I am absolutely torn. Is it merely a phase or a wake up and smell the coffee time?

Here is my chart information:
May 21, 1960
Planetary positions
planet sign degree house motion
Sun Gemini 0056'58 06 direct
Moon Aries 2150'01 04 direct
Mercury Gemini 0621'09 06 direct
Venus Taurus 2222'48 05/6 direct
Venus is technically near the end of house 5 and is interpreted in house 6.
Mars Aries 0809'53 04 direct
Jupiter Capricorn 0205'08 01 retrograde
Saturn Capricorn 1757'20 02 retrograde
Uranus Leo 1716'21 08 direct
Neptune Scorpio 0708'39 11 retrograde
Pluto Virgo 0336'02 09 direct
True Node Virgo 2223'12 09 retrograde


House positions (Placidus)
Ascendant Sagittarius 1321'40
2nd House Capricorn 1702'07
3rd House Aquarius 2532'35
Imum Coeli Aries 0130'49
5th House Taurus 0019'09
6th House Taurus 2316'46
Descendant Gemini 1321'40
8th House Cancer 1702'07
9th House Leo 2532'35
Medium Coeli Libra 0130'49
11th House Scorpio 0019'09
12th House Scorpio 2316'46

Major aspects
Sun Conjunction Mercury 524
Sun Sextile Mars 713
Sun Quincunx Jupiter 108
Sun Square Pluto 239
Moon Square Saturn 353
Moon Trine Uranus 434
Mercury Sextile Mars 149
Mercury Quincunx Neptune 048
Mercury Square Pluto 245
Venus Trine Saturn 425
Venus Square Uranus 506
Mars Quincunx Neptune 101
Mars Trine Ascendant 512
Jupiter Sextile Neptune 504
Jupiter Trine Pluto 131
Saturn Quincunx Uranus 041
Uranus Trine Ascendant 355
Neptune Sextile Pluto 333


Any comment you can provide or info you can discern woul dbe useful and helpful. Thanks

Anonymous
06-20-2005, 06:27 PM
Sorry. here is the chart:

http://www.astro.com/cgi/chart.cgi?nhor=1&nho2=1&btyp=2&mth=gw&hsy=&zod=&sday=20&smon=6&syr=2005&rs=&orbp=&cid=75ffile2MO1tZ-u1119291593&lang=e&gm=a1&ast=

Thanks gain,

AnnaElise

baker
06-20-2005, 07:06 PM
Anna: Like you, I have had cancer in the last few years and are currently in remission, thank the Heavens! :P and good for you. And again, like you, my son was diagnosed with two congenital heart defects in the last 2 years. And, like you, I'm about to start life over again. Although I do not have a man in my life at the moment, that doesn't matter, I am still searching for a way to start new. So, I will be interested in what the responses are here, and the aspects of same, and I will also look at your chart. Talk to ya later! baker

Anonymous
06-21-2005, 02:44 AM
Thanks a lot Baker for sharing your story. Those similariites are uncanny. I am happy you are in remission. Illness makes you stronger but also weary and a bit paranoid. It seems to strip some light away.

I spent several hours today going through Tim's tutorial and reading the information on houses, etc... I have to admit it sort of wore me out emotionally and even worried me. I need to take more time over the next week or so to map everything completely out.

I grew up in a repressed home-a shy middle child. I did not date until college even though I had good friends, excelled academically and was considered nice looking. I married in my late 20s, the second man I ever dated and that was almost an arranged marriage (no kidding; we met as children and came back together in our late 20s dated for 3 months then married). He is hard working and very responsible but I can't get a fix on it; he almost bristles at any ---and I mean any--human touch. After the second cancer surgery, I seem to have developed an almost frenetic, new found sense of my physical self, my sensuality even. What is that? I began feeling as though I just don't want to be this lonely and internally frazzled (I think that comes from striving every day to be this perfect mom and wife and sometimes artist) the rest of my life. What if I get sick again? What if I die the next time out?

My spouse and are friends. I worry about him. I can't see breaking his heart. His whole life is presenting himself as a good family man. We rarely argue, but looking back, I sensed three months into the marriage that there was a passion problem. The good Catholic girl wanted it bad. The good Catholic boy hardly ever. Fourteen years later and still faithful. here I am with two lovely amazing children and a dutiful but monk husband. So anyway, if you're interested here is his chart too. Odd how so many right side houses are empty...

http://www.astro.com/cgi/chart.cgi?rs=&zod=&lang=e&ast=&gm=a1&orbp=&btyp=2&sday=20&syr=2005&mth=gw&cid=75ffile2MO1tZ-u1119291593&hsy=&smon=6&nhor=4&go.x=17&go.y=3

And here is the patient kind soul who has entered my life.
http://www.astro.com/cgi/chart.cgi?go.x=9&rs=&zod=&lang=e&go.y=7&ast=&gm=a1&orbp=&btyp=2&sday=20&syr=2005&mth=gw&cid=75ffile2MO1tZ-u1119291593&hsy=&smon=6&nhor=3&go.x=17&go.y=6

baker
06-21-2005, 06:23 PM
Hey Anna Elise: Wow, so much in common, it is uncanny and a little spooky :shock: !!! But in a good way, don't worry. I know what you mean by being weary and paranoid, doctors are fine, but they don't treat the aftermath of the ravages of what has been done to us, what remains is so difficult to deal with. I'm not a "group" kind of person, at my cancer hospital they have all sorts of "groups" and all, but I like this venue much better when I find someone I can talk to about all this, I know you understand. I don't think anybody really knows what it's like to be a woman who is bald for a year and a half, what that does to your insides is awful. And I still am struggling with the physical effects of the treatments, and I still have to take meds for a couple of more years, try being a woman and living with absolutely no estrogen in your system at all. No wonder my love life is on the skids. But I constantly live with the fear that it will come back, if I'll be okay, or if I'll die, too, I know what's going on in your soul all too well. Every day. Ok, enough boo hoo'ing, I'll go on.

I met my husband also when we were children, growing up one street away from each other in a small farm town. We hooked up about 9 years ago, after both having separate lives and spouses and found each other divorced at the same time, started hanging around and fell in love, got married, was not my intention at the time but it happened. After the cancer stuff, he was wonderful during, but after, he thought I'd be me again and I'm not, and we have grown apart a lot, it's a shame really, but how he reacts to all of this just pushes me away, he's very Scorpio, very emotional, very black and white. But like you, we were friends, always, and I'm losing that part too. I worry about my spouse too

Looking at your chart, do you know transiting node is right now hitting your natal moon in your fourth house?

But since you asked about Saturn .... currently Saturn is transiting your eighth house (house of deep healing), but Mercury is sitting just ahead of it and Venus is right behind it ... so ... Saturn transiting your eighth house will bring to the forefront questions of power, desire, intimate relationships, obsessions, addictions, compulsions, maybe attachments to persons you should be attached to, and makes you look at these areas. There's actual pressure to look at this, to look through a microscope at your deepest desires and wants, sexual relationships (which goes along with what you already wrote), it's an indicator of sexual dysfunctions in you and/or your partner. This is for a reason, to make you more aware of the nature of your desires, and what it is exactly that you really really want in relationships. It also brings up finances. It also is indicative of power. During the time of the transit, ways of coping used before no longer work, you have to find new ways, even ways that you were not aware that you were using before, don't work anymore. This also brings up issues of mortality, not living forever (see your last post), we are more aware of it during this transit. I know sometimes I can go a long time and pretend nothing ever happened to me and then I'll go through a difficult transit and it's like I'm right in the middle of it again and scared. Saturn transiting the eighth house brings finances up to the surface too, specially reorganizing them, if you don't attend to that, Saturn will make you. It's a little compulsive, too, in that being compulsive gives away power, how can I make more sense, um, needing something via a fear, like that. When this transit is over, you probably should find that you have let go of some deeply ingrained habits and attachments that keep you from being emotionally "free", out with the bad, and then will be happier, stronger, not wanting to control others either, emotions will be better. That's because being a control freak makes you try to control things you couldn't and shouldn't control, and you will finally let this go. It's about mastering yourself, which you will do by end of the transit.

So, enough for now, since this was about Saturn. But I'd check out that node and definitely Chiron, I'm a huge Chiron freak, and check that out too, it's SO important.

As for the new guy, e-mail me, and I'll do your tarot, from one survivor to another.

Be Well! baker

baker
06-21-2005, 06:37 PM
by the way, transiting Mars is about to hit your natal Venus, love and war, all's fair, right?

Anonymous
06-21-2005, 10:01 PM
First let me say, that my spouse's chart is radically different than what I posted yesterday. We thought he was born at five after noon but he wasn't. He was born at 9:45 pm! The difference is remarkable. His ascendant is CAPRICORN not VIRGO. And his chart is full of LEOS. He had a strange childhood and I think a domineering, bordering on sometimes cruel father has put a damper on fire.

Now. Baker, you have suffered more with the cancer scourge!!!. My two bouts were thyroid and while the first left me unexpectedly mute for 4 months, I bounced back and regained my voice. That was the same month our child was diagnosed with a chronic illness and only weeks after my mom died. This time the surgery went well but the cancer was a bit larger and required in hospital radioactive iodine. I didn't lose my hair but it sort of screws up everything --periods, weird weight things, ability to sleep, mood.

What was weird the first time was that those three horrible things came in a three month period yet I sort of felt as though I was rising above it, almost witnessing it from the ceiling. For all of my life I have always handled crisis the way I was taught by my mother--Bear down, this too shall pass...So a miscarriage, death, cancer, that has worked, but this time out, not necessarily. Instead as you seem to be indicating, I find myself unable to pull that magic act entirely. I always appear to be pulling it off (Mom stilll cooks everyone's meals, fills the artisan orders, makes the PTA meeting...etc) but this time internally it's fraught with more anxiety, more longing for affection, for love. I don't know how neccesarily to ask and now, I am not sure that I even want anythingmore than my spouse has been giving, presence and stoicism.

Anyway, thanks for all your reflections and comments. I so appreciate the help. I realize that I cannot ask you to really look at the chart of the gentleman I have become friends with. I am not certain what the actual birth time is -the noon is a default selection. Id see that's ridiculous and changes everything. He was born in Jericho, NY March 14, 1960.

baker
06-22-2005, 08:03 PM
So, hubby has Cap Rising, so do I ... it's an extremely difficult placement, and indeed hard on children, well us when we were children. read more on that, I understand him completely now, the interps say we knew before we were born that we were not wanted and resist birth even, not wanting to get into all this with these people who conceived us, always knowing you were never wanted, spend life wondering if anybody ever wants you, hummm. Think about it. I also withdraw the way he does. Check it out please.

Anonymous
06-24-2005, 07:06 PM
I am a scorpio with a cap rising..why does an ascendent in capricorn make for a tough childhood? 1/12th of the child population must have it rough than...

Admitingly I did have a socially rough time as a kid but I was lucky in many ways too. I had a few good friends but was teased and I think I was pretty serious and shy growing up. Does capricorn rising make kids appear older than they are? That may be it, I just never saw the humor in life (though I was surrounded by obnoxious humor) till recently. The past few years I have been very funny and my friends adore my jokes (I am only 20). but just wishing for you to expand on the cap rising = rough childhood. I also have a moon in aries, venus and mercury in sag, mars and jupiter in cap and the final three planets there are two more sag and a scorpio. oh, and I think pluto is in taurus and than my house placements are filled with a butt load of water signs, but is also, an eclectic mix with like, 8-9 signs appearing...but no leo anywhere in my chart at all.

baker
06-24-2005, 08:27 PM
Hi Carlfloydfan! Welcome. I was speaking, I guess I should have said, in an evolutionary astrology kind of way about that, are you familiar? And, probably, if we want to go further with that, should be a new thread, right Radu? So, wondering if you are familiar with that concept first or not. Thanks and thanks for exploring this further. baker