View Full Version : My life is burden i want to end it

04-23-2013, 09:12 PM
I am a 26 yrs old girl from india.....i am in extreme depression because i have become a pessimist....i was a bright student who stood 1st throughout her academics...but since last 4 yrs i have been preparing for a competitive exam which is my life goal....but i have stopped studying for it since last 2yrs..bcz i fear that i will fail in my exam.....

I have attempted suicide as well.... I cant understand reason for this behaviour....
Since this exam is my dream....so despite not studying i cant leave its preparation...or i dont want to change my stream...i have become alienated from self...i hate my self...self harm has become a habit...

Can anyone plz help me.....to save my life...bcz i feel my life is a burden..i want to end it..

birthplace==bhind (mp), india

i have attached my birth chart

04-24-2013, 01:49 AM
Chenab, thank-you for sharing your difficulties - I used to be a fellow sufferer. I looked up your birth chart based on birth data and I see your life is under great transformation:sad:. This will pass I promise, but we need to get you through these tough times.

More current, in 2 days we have an eclipse that falls right on your current challenge of :saturn:& :pluto:. I don't know what you understand with astrology but so I will try to not be to technical.

This eclipse in 2 days is creating a heightened need for you to hurt yourself which is what you speak of, I do however believe this is only one less ideal epression of Mars energy. I would encourage you to clean your home, exercise, or just stay very busy in order to press aside the need to cut yourself.

I believe this eclipse is trying to start a chain of events to move your future path into a different direction. Pluto is trying to force you to change directions. I think the challenge you feel may be your lack of ability to chose and change your future purpose. I do not know your culture so I'm sorry, how much choice do you have of your calling/career or as you state "test"? May I ask what is this test you speak of?

I think the true release of this anguish can be relieved by the fall, the more open to change you are the better. I see transformation is The word to absorb and move towards. Wherever you have opportunity to change - Change! I don't mean change who you are but change your surroundings and what you are trying to achieve. Control and obsession are the main categories of transformation that you are experiencing. People may try to control you, you may try to control your surroundings, you may experience obsessions... These can be dark, like what you speak of, or they can help change your life for the better!

I used to cut myself, drink excessively, smoke, and suffered a terrible accident and chronic pain. This was, difficult at the time, to see I had a purpose. My purpose is to help people. YOU HAVE A PUPOSE TO:happy:

Please don't give up! I see that Pluto is coming towards the IC angle of home and is aspecting other areas. You have the ability to be very convincing and powerful in a good way if you can bring yourself to that. Your income and personal values, yourself included, will reap the rewards of what you change.

One extra very important note: this last 2 weeks :chiron:, your wounded self, has been expanded to the point it feels overwhelming. This leads to feelings of low self worth. Take a deep break because that has now passed and will not return.

There is much more, but I am sorry to ramble, what city do you live in currently?

04-24-2013, 07:01 AM
thanks for reply.....i live in delhi india

i am preparing for civil services exam conducted by upsc....

04-24-2013, 07:37 AM
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