piercethevale
Well-known member
...it may be a little late for this...but I recieved this just before Xmas and found it to be quite funny...and funny is never out-of-season!
With the holidays coming, here's a fruit cake recipe that will help take the stress out of this normally stressful time. Ingredients: 1 cup of water. 1 cup of sugar. 4 large eggs. 2 cups dried fruit. 1 tsp. of salt. 1 cup brown sugar. 3 ounces lemon juice. 1 cup of nuts. 1 gallon of Absolut Vodka. First, sample the vodka for freshness. Take a large bowl. Check the vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour 1 level cup of the vodka and drink it. Repeat. Repeat again. Turn on the electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add water, eggs and 1 tsp. sugar and beat again. Make surr the vodca is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off mixers. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck on the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the voodca to check for tonsistancity. Next, sniff 2 cups of salt, or something, who cares? Check the vodkaa! Now sniff the lemon juice and strain your nuts. add one Tablespoon of sugar or something, whatever. Grease the oven. turn the cake tin 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Whip the bowl out of the window. Chick the vidka again. .
With the holidays coming, here's a fruit cake recipe that will help take the stress out of this normally stressful time. Ingredients: 1 cup of water. 1 cup of sugar. 4 large eggs. 2 cups dried fruit. 1 tsp. of salt. 1 cup brown sugar. 3 ounces lemon juice. 1 cup of nuts. 1 gallon of Absolut Vodka. First, sample the vodka for freshness. Take a large bowl. Check the vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour 1 level cup of the vodka and drink it. Repeat. Repeat again. Turn on the electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add water, eggs and 1 tsp. sugar and beat again. Make surr the vodca is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off mixers. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck on the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the voodca to check for tonsistancity. Next, sniff 2 cups of salt, or something, who cares? Check the vodkaa! Now sniff the lemon juice and strain your nuts. add one Tablespoon of sugar or something, whatever. Grease the oven. turn the cake tin 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Whip the bowl out of the window. Chick the vidka again. .