Prayers and Zodiacal Signs
ARIES: "Dear God! Give me PATIENCE and I want it NOW!"
TAURUS: "Dear God, please help me accept CHANGE in my life, but NOT YET."
GEMINI: "Yo God...(or is it Goddess?)...Who are you?...What are
you?.....Where are You?.....How many of you ARE there? I can't figure you
CANCER: "Dear Daddy, I know I shouldn't depend on you so much, but
you're the only One I can count on while my security blanket is at the
LEO: "Hi, Pop! I'll bet you're really proud to have me as your
VIRGO: "Dear God, please make the world a better place, and don't screw
it up like you did the last time."
LIBRA: "Dear God, I know I should make decisions for myself. But, on
the other hand, what do YOU think?"
SCORPIO: "Dear God, help me forgive my enemies, even if the bastards
don't deserve it."
SAGITTARIUS: "OH ALMIGHTY, ALL KNOWING, ALL-LOVING, ALL-POWERFUL,
OMNIPRESENT, EVERLASTING GOD, IF I'VE ASKED YOU ONCE, I'VE ASKED YOU A THOUSAND
TIMES --- HELP ME STOP EXAGGERATING!!!!!!!!!!"
CAPRICORN: "Dear Father, I was going to pray, but I guess I ought to
figure things out for myself. Thanks anyway."
AQUARIUS: "Hi God! Some say you're a man. Some say you're a woman. I
say we're ALL God. So, why pray? Let's have a party!"
PISCES: "Heavenly Father, as I prepare to consume this last fifth of
Scotch to drown out my pain and sorrow, may my inebriation be for Thy greater
Honor and Glory."
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