How much stronger do I need to be?

[smilingsteph]

Things in life happen to make us stronger, but what
if these experiences make you so strong you become a wall, a wall that wont allow anyone in, thus leaving one to feel alone and isolated. Sometimes I feel so strong that I cannot even cry anymore, feel compassion, love myself, let alone love others. I am emotionally empty, how much more until I am completely dry. I am left to rationalize everything, where are my feelings? I am afraid my emotions will leave me completely and in its place will be anger, and I am afraid to say that I think this is what is happening. Yet the funny thing is, is that I am afraid of feelings and emotions.

[wilsontc]

steph,

You may know this already, but transiting (moving planets in the sky) Neptune (spirituality) is conjuncting your birth Ascendant (self) and transiting Saturn (duty, also structure, restriction) is conjuncting your Descendant (others) and your Moon (home, also emotions). So this causes a dissolving of yourself and a strong, need to structure your emotions around others that could feel restrictive. In addition, this is your Saturn return time, when we are forced to grow up and become "adult" about things, focusing in the area where Saturn is in our birth charts. With Saturn focused in your 7th house (relationships), part of this "adult" process is facing the many challenges which having relationships brings.

This "feeling" is just a transit, and with time it will all fade away. For right now, try to get the lesson of the moment, which is to let your personal issues "dissolve" and work at being structured in your approach to others. As for the "restrictive feelings" of this energy, do some meditation and contemplation, and work to get your mind focused on something else.

Suggesting,

Tim