Relationships: Sexuality and Antisocial behavior.

[Whitney]

I've been with my current boyfriend, an older, Virgo male, for about two months. He seems to take things slowly. Like, really slowly, and I'm not really sure when he's going to make the first move, and initiate anything physical -- or if. Virgos are notoriously prudish, and I'm not really sure how things will work out between the two of us as far as sex goes.

Here is the link to our synastry relationship data: http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/9...neygabevi9.gif

His natal chart, if it helps:
http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/5...profilefi8.gif

Also, there's also another issue I'd like to bring up while I'm at it. My Libra in Moon would suggest that I'm a person who really would like friends, when that couldn't be farther from the case. Is there a conflict in my natal chart that would explain this? I would go so far as to say that I'm more antisocial than not.

Here is the link to the image of my natal chart:
http://img146.imageshack.us/img146/8195/portraitwi8.gif

[flowerchild]

You are sag with virgo rising and he is virgo with sag rising. That explains the attraction.

You have some nice aspects in synastry. Your moon is trine his. Your jupiters is trine his. But your sun is square his moon and his mercury is square your capricorn venus, saturn, etc. I think the problem is from his uranus sitting next to your sun. You will find him odd at times.

On a personal level, I think it's nice when a guy is willing to wait to be physical. It shows a certain respect. However, there's a difference between a guy you are attracted to on a physical level and one where you are not. I dated a guy once where there was a similar uranus sun issue and it was also oddly asexual. I was thrilled at first but eventually I realized you cant force it. I dont think uranus is a good planet for relationships. On the other hand, uranus with mars/venus can mean kinky relationships. (I'm not into this but just thought I would mention.)

Anyway, good luck. I'm not sure where your anti-social tendencies come from. I would not have guessed immediately. Apart from the libra moon, you dont have much air, so maybe you dont need social interaction much. Virgo rising can be a little reserved. You do have most of your planets on the bottom half of your chart, which can mean a more introverted personality and your sun is on the IC - meaning home/personal life is important to you. You also have a bunch of conservative capricorn planets, including uranus, which sextiles your 'social' libra moon. Saturn is strong in capricorn. It is conjunct uranus, neptune & venus. Capricorn can be a no-nonsense sign but not necessarily anti-social, just conservative. Mars & pluto in scorpio are strong too, and you probably can be intense at times.

Your overall chart shape is a fan pattern, meaning all the planets are close together but one. The handle is jupiter in cancer.

[starlink]

Hello Whitney, just quickly about your own chart and that Moon, you think is very much on the lookout for friends. He is the ruler of your 11th, true, but he is in a critical degree (29°) and by Solar Arc direction straight into the sign of his fall where he will be for years on end. Another thing I straight away could see is that Chiron in your 11th. So friends are your biggest wound if you like. Moon is ruled by Venus in Capricorn AND it is conjunct Saturn! This is a very cautious Venus and the Moon-Uranus sextile keeps close friendships at a safe distance.
Did you see that Jupiter of yours? It rules your early environment, family, your upbringing, roots. There is a lot of opposition to be seen there, to your Saturn especially. I think that your cautiousness can be traced back to that (strict?) childhood. Jupiter, conjunct the 11th house is the handle of a Bucket pattern. Jupiter has influence over all those planets down there. You are quite introvert which also does not make it easy to reach out to others, friends.
Cheers, Star.

[starlink]

Now about that virgofriend.

You are sag with virgo rising and he is virgo with sag rising. That explains the attraction.

Like Flowerchild said. This is nice.

But the Venusses is what we have to look at. How you express love feelings and how he could understand those and vice versa. Like I said, your Venus is very very cautious, you dont really show enthousiasm and his Venus is probably intimidated by that. His Moon is in Pisces, squaring his Moon. He is very intuitive and probably can sense your inhibition. That's why he does not jump at you. He feels that there is something holding you back, even though you do not realise this about yourself.
Your Moon is in an air sign, not very emotional. He is very emotional but his Virgo exterior does not show that. If you would just trust a bit more and let go, and yes, even try to make the first move, I think he will respond.
I have a Virgo man with a Pisces Moon. He NEVER comes out of himself to me. I have to always make the first move, still now, after 10 years. This does not mean he does not want to. He adores me (as he says) and when I ask him why he never reaches out, he just smiles a bit shyly and says he does not know!(and I have always had men running after me!!, even now, so it has nothing to do with me not being sexy or anything like that. It sometimes is really unnerving! So there you have it! Give it a go (if you can) and see what the result is. Cheers, Star.

[Whitney]

Originally Posted by starlink

Hello Whitney, just quickly about your own chart and that Moon, you think is very much on the lookout for friends. He is the ruler of your 11th, true, but he is in a critical degree (29°) and by Solar Arc direction straight into the sign of his fall where he will be for years on end. Another thing I straight away could see is that Chiron in your 11th. So friends are your biggest wound if you like. Moon is ruled by Venus in Capricorn AND it is conjunct Saturn! This is a very cautious Venus and the Moon-Uranus sextile keeps close friendships at a safe distance.

I'm sorry to bother you, but a lot of the terms you've mentioned have confused me. What is the significance of Moon ruled by Venus in Capricorn and it is conjunct Saturn? Also, by saying "friends are my biggest wound," does that mean I have issues with making friends? (I can definitely see this.)

[starlink]

I'm sorry to bother you

No you aren't, dont worry!
I must have assumed that you understood the terms, thinking that you had a lot of astrological experience.
Anyways, you know that each sign has a ruler. Moon is ruled here by Venus (Libra ruled by VEnus) and Venus is placed in Capricorn which in turn is ruled by Saturn, so if you have Venus in that sign, then Saturn rules your Venus, i.o.w, you have to express your love feelings the way Saturn tells you to do it (as it were) and so, because Saturn is rigid and puts limitiations on you, he tells you to take it slowly and be careful when opening up to someone. He rules your love expression.
Now in your chart you see that Saturn is only a few degrees away from Venus. It is a wide conjunction. Almost 7°,but because he rules that Venus, I give it more importance. This is then a 2nd indication of Saturn impeding Venus to act as she should (like in Taurus, her own sign).

So indirectly, your Moon, ruling that house of friends, is influenced by that Venus in Capricorn, hence the trouble with making friendships.

Whereever I see Chiron in the chart, I always find the area where one "suffers" the most. You have a symbolical wound there and will not be able to heal yourself from it. (read about Chiron symbolism in the internet or here in the Forum under asteroids etc.). You could be able to help others who are having problems with friendships, giving them advice etc. but that same advice is not working for yourself.

Hope this explains it a little.

[starlink]

By the way, my Virgo is not at all prudish, on the contrary. I have never been able to speak so openly about sex as with this man. He is shy, but once a Virgo gets going, he gets going!! Cheers, Star.

[Whitney]

Originally Posted by starlink

I must have assumed that you understood the terms, thinking that you had a lot of astrological experience.

Whereever I see Chiron in the chart, I always find the area where one "suffers" the most. You have a symbolical wound there and will not be able to heal yourself from it. (read about Chiron symbolism in the internet or here in the Forum under asteroids etc.). You could be able to help others who are having problems with friendships, giving them advice etc. but that same advice is not working for yourself.

Hope this explains it a little.

I consider myself a novice in astrology. I'm just getting used to reading the charts and figuring out how to read it on my own. Your explanation did help a lot though, thank you. It's helped me realize, astrologically, how that works in my daily life.

I do know that my natal chart has the bucket shape, and the handle is Jupiter. Is there any significance there? From what I have read, most of my planets are at the bottom, which signifies that I'm more of a reserved than an outgoing person. At the same time, does it matter if it's on the east or west side of the bottom?

[Whitney]

Also, about Chiron and having it be my "deepest wound," does it help at all to find friends that are a reflection of my values, goals, etc? Can it be really healed or shaped to be something else? My boyfriend and I have decided that I am one walking contradiction, according to my chart. Does my chart actually reflect this? On one hand, I seem to have a power struggle, but at the same time, I'm indecisive. In reality, I want to be an inspiration to others, yet I have a hard time bonding with people, so that doesn't really work out. I hope this makes sense.

[littlewoodyallen]

virgoes are definitely not prudish - i know a double virgo (sun/rising), he is the most sexual person & kinkiest i know .. but i think it might have to do with his scorpio moon

they just have that outer appearance of being clean-cut, meticulous, innocent, graceful - but yeah, they secretly enjoy being filthy...

[rahu]

whitney
the composite chart has a pluto/venus conjunction on the ascendant.usually this can show a strong sex drive but it can also flip into a celibacy vibrations as it has in your case.with a jupiter square to a venus/mercury conjunction ,the relationship is fun and loving on social levels.there is a moon/neptune conjunction in the 3rd house which implies that there is a religious/spiritual/moral code to the relationship.this could explain the lack of sexuality.you seem to be very close mentally though pluto on t6he descendant shows that there are some severe blocks in communication.
i find it very strange when so much sexual energy is being blocked or sublimated.he could have so deep personality issues with sex.
rahu

[starlink]

Whitney, about Chiron there, I could imagine that you would seek out friends who do have the same "fears" and getting close matters as you do. On a subconscious level , you could feel what they are feeling and suspecting the other person also is having difficulties in this area, you could help them with it. That is actually how Chiron tends to work. You could tell them: "come on, get a bit out of yourself, just dont take things so seriously" etc. etc. because you know very well, that those are the things that are blocking them, BECAUSE they are blocking you as well. The thing is that following your own advise, usually does not work with Chiron. Personally I think that we CAN change it, but it will take a lifetime. I do think that we can get rid of our fears and insecurities anywhere in the chart, but it needs to be worked on, either through consciously facing the difficulty and just doing what you fear most (this applies on light phobias for instance)and in really severy cases, people just need the help of a professional counselor in order to dig deeper into their past. Usually, when they understand where it all originated, things go better.

You wrote:

most of my planets are at the bottom, which signifies that I'm more of a reserved than an outgoing person. At the same time, does it matter if it's on the east or west side of the bottom?

Yes, it could make a slight difference. More (personal) planets in the Eastern part always give more opportunity to do things your way, in the Western part, you will always take other people and situations into consideration before taking a decision.
The introvertness wont change that much. It is more about how you can direct your own life.
You wrote that you are "one walking contradiction". This is because of that Sun of yours in Sagittarius and Suns ruler, Jupiter in the 10th house! This is a very strong and outward energy, placed in the highest location of your chart, the "extrovert" part, the social and non-private part. It is clear that you want to be like that , but that the placements of the other planets below the horizon keep you from living it out like that.
Also, your Moon in that critical degree and in Libra shows your difficulties in taking decisions, sides, and emotionally :doing this or doing that. Moon, as I wrote above, is very seriously "ruled" as it were, Sun however is very optimistically ruled. The ruler of your Moon (Venus) and the ruler of your Sun (Jupiter) oppose each other, so there you have it also, the "this or that" situation, the being torn between behaving like your Sun wants to, or your Moon is afraid of doing.
Star.