Why is my daughter telling lies about me?

KayBug · #1 03-19-2008, 08:28 PM

Can anyone please tell me why my daughter is telling lies to all her friends and coworkers about me. Now, I'm 58 and all these people r in their 20's so what they think doesn't affect my life but I don't know why she is doing this.

I spent alot of money (thousands not hundreds) taking care of her and the stupid mess she got in. We had an agreement on how she was going to help me pay this money back as I had to borrow it. This worked fine for about a yr. She finally got her tax check back and got her a car, which I was glad she did. I didn't care for her putting miles on mine and making it into a rolling trash can. I even helped her with her car insurance. Now she has gone wild I would say and basically saying, well, "Mom, I ******* u again".

I realize I have more patience at my age than she does at 20 yrs old, to get throught the hard times.

She has been telling her friends that I steal her money, that I make her give me her paycheck, that I have lied to her intervention officer, etc. What I can't understand is why she is doing this. Can anyone give me any ideas here as to what is happening concerning this.

Her chart is attched.

Thanks, Kaybug

OneWhoReadsTheStars · #2 03-20-2008, 01:09 PM

Hello,

I can't tell you specifically why she might be telling lies about you, etc.

What IS suggested by her chart is that her Father was either missing, passive, tyrannical, in SOME WAY NOT ABLE TO SHOW YOUR DAUGHTER AUTHORITY TEMPERED WITH LOVE.

This situation has likely imploded her feelings of self-worth, ie. an ATTACK to her values and to her valuing of herself. Her chart shows that this circumstance (likely) gives her an inner anger that comes out in her relationships. In addition, she likely feels powerless to do anything about this.

Until she learns the root of her anger and begins to feel that, despite her Father's lack as an effective parent, she really is valuable and not a bad person because bad things have happened to her; it is likely that her relationships with everyone will suffer.

You were there at Ground Zero, I assume, so what are these (suggested) wounds that were so extreme that it was easier for her to repress them than deal with them? Until these are dealt with (probably therapeutically), it is likely that circumstances will repeat themselves.

I also believe that this intense internal strain/tension builds in her until she either lashes out angrily or acts in some inappropriate way that then, temporarily, relieves this strain. It might be the only way she knows to deal with this inner frustration at having been devalued by someone who is supposed to be showing her love and attention.

She likely feels that she always is trying to make some headway, only to find that she FEELS that she's bumping her head against a wall and not making any real progress.

I can't know, without speaking to her, as the chart only makes suggestions, but I'm sure that you can relate to what I've written. I hope that you can "deal" with her in a way that is nurturing, in her best interest, full of understanding, and in a way that doesn't diminish her already damaged self-image... It's suggested (as I mentioned) that the Father was NOT there for her, so you're left to do the job of TWO PARENTS in a sense. I can understand your frustration, but if you pull out your support from her, you only reinforce the Father's legacy. What are you gonna do?

Hope this helps!

OneWhoReadsTheStars

lillyjgc · #3 03-20-2008, 03:07 PM

Kay,
Your daughter has mars and saturn opposed in her natal, across the H1/H7 axis.I see mars conjunct chiron, suggesting your daughter is wounded by *others* and sometimes those who are wounded,wound others, unless the native is on a consciously spiritual path,*working on the issues*.
Mars opposite saturn can cause the native to be hurtful and retaliatory.
I see that h10 cusp is ruled by mercury- you-her mother- and mercury is combust the sun in her sixth, which is not an aspect that is conducive to strong health, or an easy day to day life.That same mercury/sun conjunction is opposed by Pluto in her twelfth- the house of self undoing so to speak...Pluto in the twelfth, in scorpio can be a very simmering placement-the opposition to the sun/merc can be very explosive...mars is ruling her twelfth-so her actions and explosions are her self undoing.This points to trouble with the law also-as she has experienced.

People perceive the same event very differently...Your daughter may have a very different *version* of her life compared to how you see it. We all know that younger people often behave in a selfish manner-especially toward their parent(s) and I understand how hurtful it is when our good intentions are misrepresented...And because there is only one parent there, that parent cops the blame.Its not fair of course but its part of the journey of maturing into adulthood-to move past that selfishness and learn the lessons of humility.
Your daughter also has some very helpful trines in her chart which give her the potential to grow....The conjunction of saturn and Uranus in her first as part of the mars/chiron opposition is probably the key to the difficulties she must work through...Saturn/uranus can certainly produce instability and rebelliousness and an unpredictable nature.The trine to venus/jupiter may be helpful though.
Her moon in Leo is favourably aspected in her ninth, so this suggests that learning and study will help your daughter break free of any negative conditioning-a lot will come down to her beliefs.
With neptune square to jupiter, indeed your daughter may be somewhat careless with the truth, but more likely she *sees it wrong* in the first place-perhaps a perceptual problem there....Asc is in a fixed sign, as is the moon,sun and mercury-so we have a rather stubborn person on our plate here! Never easy to deal with.

When you're around *truth-benders* its a challenge to hold on to what you know to be true-inwardly at least. No point trying to force her to recapitulate. Letting her opinions be *water off a duck's back* may be the only effective strategy, Kay!
all the best, Lillyjgc

KayBug · #4 03-20-2008, 11:37 PM

lilly and one....Thank you for your posts. They help me alot.
KayBug

Kalyxa · #5 03-24-2008, 04:24 AM

Wow...I don't really know what to say about your situation but your daughter was born 9 minutes after I was....I pretty much have the exact same chart as her! Same ascendant and everything.

Lupin · #6 03-24-2008, 10:22 PM

Time to let her free,let her be independent.make your life full without her.maybe shes just trying to make people feel sorry for her.whatever shes an adult now.Ask her about the lies,how it made you feel and that you love her but won't put up with theses lies if true.get on with your life.

KayBug · #7 03-24-2008, 10:41 PM

Lupin
She is free. She moved out about 2 weeks ago, she just still has the rest of her things to get. My life is quite happy and full with her gone just like it was happy and full before I rescued her from her own mess she made for herself in another state and I let her come back home. I AM getting on with my own life and have been trying to for 2 years.
There is no need to confront her about the lies as she will deny it according to a very formidable source. I shall take this person's advise and let her comments be like "waters off a duck's back".
KayBug

Lupin · #8 03-24-2008, 10:48 PM

I recently visited my son and his wife.Ive had a struggle as I can see he's being hurt by her.We are close and I want them to be happy together.He tells me stuff and I try to be fair to them both but now have decide to pull back and let them work it out..its hard for me to do this but feel it's good.We have so much karma with our kids and it changes with time...I hope your relationship improves.regards...Linda