Transiting Saturn Opposing Natal Mars

[Shining Ray]

deleted post

[Lin]

Shining Ray,
Your sense of "faking feelings" is natural considering your chart. I'm not saying it's desirable, but for someone with the difficulties you face with your psyche, it's natural. And you will have to work on it, probably indefinitely.

You have Moon (feelings, emotional mechanism, programming) next to Mercury (the way you think) and they both square Neptune, which is in your 4th house, which always means some sort of identity crisis during ones life. Luckily, it's not too close to the nadir, and in a different sign, but because it's angular and squares angular planets, it is very important.
Equally important is your Saturn on the ascendant opposing your Sun.

It's as though the universe is "daring you" to be authentic! It has put up so many stumbling blocks. These make "partnership", which means true connection, honest connection with another authentic human being very very hard. It makes trusting hard, it makes spontaneity hard, it makes love hard. And along with these is your Pluto square Venus.

During the last couple of years you had Pluto square your Moon-Merc conjunction.... I don't know you and haven't studied your posts, but I do wonder if that Pluto square helped you to transform some of your past and programming. Once you release yourself from the past, from childhood, and dispose of baggage you no longer need, the less stressful transits get.

It's important not to get "sucked back" into past relationships that were painful, even with family members. It's importants not to get sucked into drama and a sense of responsibility and keep your eye on the future, your goals and to find your "mission" in life which may have to do with working in tandem with one special person for a greater purpose. You have some very wide trines to Jupiter in the house of goals, but just the fact that Jupiter is in the 11th means you need to focus on the future, not the past. As long as these heavy planets keep aspecting your moon you are in danger of repeating past experiences, experiences which were painful and useless.

Jupiter in Capricorn, for the most part, will be very helpful.

Your Saturn return will give you it's own messages, and you won't have to look for these, they will be right in your face.
LIN