Hello! Chart Intro

[RockFish]

Hello folks,

I am new here, and I am posting my chart to let you know all my dirty little secrets right from the start! It is attached as a thumbnail in the end of this post. Is there any way to show it full size here in the post, before the text?

I am an amateur, I love astrology very much. Of course I've done some reading on my own chart, and this was added with a reading by a professional in 2002. I'd appreciate if someone could correct me if there's some wrong reading, and add some insights . In any case, it is great to meet you all!

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First thing the astrologer told me in 2002 was that I am a daydreamer (Venus+Neptune) and that it paralizes me (Venus+Neptune square Saturn+Moon). She says this Venus-Saturn aspect makes me prone to "suffer in love matters".

She said that the solution for this stalement would be to move to another country . In a foreign country, I'd probably have a lot of work, she said. I tend to agree with this reading, because I always had this strange urge to leave my home country. There was a time in which I thought this was merely a dream, but after she said so, I thought I should follow my gut feeling. It was very interesting to hear from someone's mouth that I should do precisely what i have been dreaming about for so long.

I have Moon in conjunction with Saturn and North Node in the 9th house, and that's where she got her idea of a foreign country from. Saturn is retrograde, which might mean delay: I am 28 now, and never set foot abroad, lol. Maybe in Saturn's return?

Mercury in conjunction with the Ascendant was interpreted as some talent for writing, and she also said that the good aspect with Saturn in 9th would indicate writing in a foreign language, developing a writing career abroad or something in that line. She said "one day you will get money from what you write". In that time I didn't write at all, and I thought it was a strange suggestion. But the wheels have turned, and after finishing college, I got in the publishing area, as a translator. So, I am not writing my material, I am re-writing others' books in my native language, and I am now financially independent, which covers the prediction that there would be a career and money in writing, and connected to a foreign language... Not sure if this will develop into publishing my own material, but well... one can wish.

From my MH in Libra sextile with Venus in Saggitarius and Jupiter in Leo, she deduced I had some strong connection with visual arts, and she was right. She asked me if I painted or was an amateur photographer, and I said yes, I do paint. I also have Pluto in 10th house in Libra, which makes for a proneness to changing careers, to going to depths in a certain career and abandoning it later, or having to face feelings of impotence associated with the artistic career. It is true. I am not painting at all nowadays, due to many reasons, altho I feel a sacred connection with this activity... I think there is some problem with expression, because Pluto in 10th is squared by Mercury in ascendant, so, maybe what is easier for me is not the visual arts, they seem to be choked somehow, or maybe my imagery will never be well-accepted or understood, it might be felt by others as violent (Pluto)....... Right now, what is certainly running smoother is the part of the chart that speaks of writing.

Sun + Mars in capricorn in 1st house was read as truckloads of energy that have to be released, otherwise I could have health problems. A lot of physical exercises would be required. I practiced tae-kwon-do in a certain period, one year, but it got me with pain in my back, so I stopped. I like martial arts a lot (Mars), tho I think they enhance the masculine side of the chart, which I consider too strong for my taste... The astrologer said she felt a lot of feminine energy on the chart, but Venus is blocked by Saturn, and probably this is one of the issues that will be triggered by my impending Saturn's Return.

Venus seems to be in need of some attention, she is actually repressed by Saturn, so, ever since I was a kid, my Sun+Mars was easier expressed (sometimes over-expressed, due to the opposition to Jupiter) then my Venus. I had a very strong connection with my father, he and I were very identified with each other, and I have an older sister who is very feminine herself, so I guess there was some unconscious attitude in my family directed to raising me in ways more similar to the ways of a boy. Probably they were expecting a boy, considering that they already had a daughter.

Sexually, it gave me a lot to think of. I thought I was a lesbian in a certain period (Venus+Neptune???), but never fell in love with a woman. I feel that being with another woman must be very interesting, sexually speaking, but no doubt I feel more comfortable in relationships with men. I feel that a part of me is desperate to understand what being a woman really is, I am always desperate to "feel" more like a woman (Venus vs. Saturn again, goddamn it....), and can't relax towards other women.

In fact, I have this tendency of falling in love with older men (Venus square Saturn or Venus trine Jupiter?? Or both????), my first crush was a teacher in high school, and I actually had an affair with a philosophy teacher (Venus in Saggitarius trine Jupiter........) when I got in the university. I believe I know who my twinflame is, and he is 32 years older than me, and lives in another country, but let's leave it at that for now...

The astrologer said I'd get married to an artist, a foreigner (Venus Saggitarius trine Jupiter in Leo in 7h house), and she was right on the spot, I got married to a painter, and he is from Argentina, while I am from Brasil. I met him one month after Saturn got in my 7th house. It's been three years now. We have an odd synastry, and I guess what deserves a mention here now is my Moon in Virgo squared by his Moon is Saggitarius, and my Venus in opposition to his Saturn. That might sound like an absurd marriage, but actually we are happy, we hardly fight. Our squaring Moons have expressed themselves in the form of many difficulties concerning the place to live. He is a traveller (Moon Saggit...), so I started to travel with him, and we have lived in all sorts of places, the lamest hotels, full of prostitutes and transvestites (that was kind of fun, but one gets tired of this wild life, you know), a tiny room with a bathroom in the middle of the tropical forest in an island, etc. Right now we have a decent house in a place far from my hometown, but both are willing to set foot on the road once again....... I will talk about the synastry in due time and in the due section.

There is this guy I mentioned above, who I believe is my twinflame, but he is married, is 32 years older, has children, lives in another country, etc..... We have a very interesting synastry as well. I see myself in him and feel connected to him spiritually (once he had to go thru an emergency surgery, and I wrote about the surgery before someone told me anything about it). I will post the synastry later because I am really interested in your opinions. Of course it is a platonic connection till now, we are connected artistically more than anything, and I really would like to know what to expect from it, what kind of things we are supposed to share in this lifetime. There is an element of illusion in our synastry (my Mercury squared by his Neptune), but also some strong similarities that might imply identification (he has Sun+Mars in Capricorn, like me, and his pair Sun-Mars is conjunct to my Ascendant, while my pair Sun-Mars is conjunct to his Ascendant..... Go figure). My astrologer said he probably wants to remain just friends with me this lifetime, and I guess she deduces this from the tight conjunction of my Uranus (20 degrees in Scorpio) with his Jupiter (21 degrees in Scorpio). But let's see this later. I will post that, and the synastry with my husband, in the relationship section.

She read Chiron in my 4th house as "someone" in my family who was very strong and probably made me insecure about my own personal value. I don't know if this is the only thing that can be said about Chiron in 4th, but she was right, both my father and my mother were very good to me, but I think there was a lack of closeness on the side of my mother, while my father was like an idol to me and I was subtly dominated by him......

I made an abortion in july 2005, I didnt make any readings back then cos my mind was spinning so quickly that the last thing I could do was think about astrology. I wonder now if it had something to do with Chiron being badly aspected or something.

Venus in conjunction with Neptune: of course, besides all the daydreaming and escapism (yeah, there've been the drugs, the drinks, the mystical self-delusion......) and the sexual confusion, this is also the good pair that makes me prone to art. Music has alway been like a space shuttle for me, since I was very young. I would put a record (Pink Floyd mostly) when I was very young, like five years old, and would spend literally hours listening and creating images in my mind. I would create entire movies in my mind while listening to music, and sometimes i got so carried away by these fantasies that I would run around the living room while listening to the songs with a racing heart.....

Venus in 11th trines Jupiter in 7th, which is BY FAR my favorite aspect, lol. My Saturn can be a hindrance to love, but I have good old Jupiter to allow me experience the beauty of a relationship. I am still a daydreamer, but it doesn't stop me from living in the real world anymore, thanks to my husband and his Saturn in Gemini in opposition to my Venus and Neptune. This synastry aspect really is a pain in the rear end sometimes, because I think it is repressing my artistic side a lot, but it also has the good side of balancing the excesses of the dreamer in me.

Uranus is a sweetie for me in this lifetime, I think. It is in its domicile and dignified (I guess) in Scorpio, and it is in love with the Moon: so, my astrologer said that it might imply that astrology won't be only a hobby or a curiosity for me, considering also that Uranus is the ruler of my 2nd house, and might refer to a connection between astrology and money, amplified by the good aspect with the Moon in 9th.. This is certainly optimistic, maybe too much, but one can always wish..... Uranus is also in good aspect with the ascendant, sextile, so maybe there is a relation with the writing part of my chart.

Moon. I was almost forgetting her.

Moon in virgo in 9th. I guess Moon is the one who rules the house, the motherland, etc. I would like to hear from others who have Moon in 9th house, to know if they feel the same urge to "get up and leave", or if this aspect might be related to something else. Considering that it is in conjunction with Saturn, probably it will mean having children late in life.

There is a gentle war going on in my chart, I suppose. It is the war Moon+Saturn versus Venus+Neptune. There are two female characters in battle, and that might explain why I always had conflicted relationships with women in general... One of my female parts, the Moon, is old (+Saturn), responsible, and a bore sometimes. The other girl (Venus+Neptune trine Jupiter) is an air-head who hates to engage in "mundane" chores... The agreement between the two is still to be done....

On the other hand, the predominant male side of the chart, Sun+Mars, loves the Virgo Moon, which makes things a bit easier in the relationship matter.

Well, that is it for now. I like my chart, I don't fear it's challenges anymore, and now I am bracing myself for Sat's return next year. I came to accept both the gifts and the issues presented by it, as part of the whole bitchy thing called Life......

I hope you guys don't think this was too long, lol... Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Once again, I am very glad to meet you all. Hope to contribute to this forum in the future.

Many hugs,
RockFish.

[jag]

well rockfish you have EXTREMELY good writing skills and i was totally in awe of your post. you do see to have alot of aspects at play and they make yu an extremely interesting person to be around; no holds bar just tell it like it is. thanks fr posting allthat. unfortunately i'm not anywhere as near as good as these folks on the boards (and my gosh they are GOOD) so i can't help with anaylzation i can see it "after" it's told to us but not usually before--of course i had my own innate things going on as i was growing up that made sense and others that had my head against the wallwith frustration. one really big one was i have all these signs that say i love and crave attention (leo on MH,moon and mars) and finally found out it was the scorpion ascendent smack dab in the middlewhich was balancing all that out for me. maybe when i'm 92 and they change my respirator in the nursing home one last time ican say wait; i can finally say i can dephipher a chart accurately--then they'll pull the plug on my mumb jumbo: still can't belive how mch prejudice is still out there regarding metaphysical things. some i do and somei don't and i don't want to start a debate here as that's not the point of the thread. it's to hell and a big warm welcome to you!!!!!!!!!

read and paricipate as much asy you like. the forum has all kinds of personalities and i'm coming to finally appreciate them all. hopefully you will too. anyone else in your family or group of friends practice, learn or even just discuss and not just the lame sun sign descriptioins although i d know of a really good sun sign place run in the UK, jonathan's pretty good and he has a sense of humor. you'll find the moderators here to be just as experienced and enjoyable.

so sit back and enjoy!
smiles
jag

[starlink]

Rockfish, you really made a rocky entrance into this Forum. A great big welcome to you!! I enjoyed your introductory essay more than I can say, just great. I dont have a Moon in the 9th, but I know that there where we find the Moon, we find emotional fulfillment. It's where we feel most "at home". You and your husband both have a Moon/jupiter connection, even though your Moon is in a different sign. He has Moon in Saggittarius, you have Moon in the 9th, the house of Saggittarius. I always look at the combinations. This affinity will help overcome difficulties caused by the Earth-Fire clash. Both of you love traveling, not being tied down to one place. Foreign countries attract you. I cannot find fault in the reading of your astrologer. Your Saturn conjunct your Moon could point to a very definite and emotionally controlled ideology. It will not be easy to make you change your mind, you can be stubborn and have fixed ideas which you can concretisize with ease. Saturn is not that close to the Moon to really bother it too much. Moon is making an outgoing aspect. Nevertheless, it could make introspective, considering also that Mercury is on the 12th house side of the Ascendant. Good for deep and serious thinking! Moon-Saturn and Venus-Neptune both point to a diffused and distanciated, stern, mother image and the Sun conjunct Mars in the first clearly shows the closeness to your father.
Traditional Astrology sees the father in the 4th house, in this case Aries, ruled by Mars= daddy, and the 10th for the mother, Libra ruled by Venus, a more mental than sensual Venus like Taurus = mother. It really fits in your chart (not in all charts!). You have an amazing chart, really interesting.
Must go now, you too, a big welcome hug! Star.

[StarNur]

Hi Rockfish,

I was born a few weeks after you, and I have a friend from school who was born only a day after you!

Right now shes working in accounting, and still single, as am I. Shes not writing or in the arts. Different ascendant Im sure...yet she has a Libra moon. She does love to read, romantic fiction in particular.

We both have Sun conjunct Mars...and that can make us kind of competitive. Not so much now, but more so when we were younger.

Im not sure if you can equate Venus-Neptune conjunction to Lesbianism or sexual confusion. I have it too, and have never been romantically attracted to another woman, or desired a sexual relationship with one. And Im an Aquarius through and through, with a number of mutuable planets. I am attracted to older men though. When I was in school, I barely noticed the boys my age because I was too busy ogling my teachers...that might have to do with Saturn in the 5th square Neptune in the 7th. I also have Saturn in aspect to my Moon (in pisces) like you but by opposition.

[RockFish]

Hello, jag, starlink and Starnur,

Thank you so much for this incredibly warm welcome. I'm glad you had the patience to read my bible-length confessions, LOL. And to give your very interesting insights.

jag: I would love to have someone close to discuss astrology in depth, like a friend or family member, but people around me don't care much to learn it, they only care to sit around and say "take a look at my chart, see what the hell is going on and if it is getting better in the future, and what about the money", LOL.
That is a bit disappointing, because I know there's more to a chart than what I can currently see (maybe most peeps feel like that). I feel I am still reading only the obvious parts. I am very happy to find this place, I think it will be a great improvement to my path in this.

starlink: Great reading. Really loved your ideas, and was particularly impressed by the positive approach on the squaring Moons. Thank you very much. Looks like astrology flows really easily from you! You are right about my father and mother. I guessI have further reading to do on the meanings of the houses.

StarNur: I think Venus+Neptune can be accountable for some sexual confusion, it certainly was in my case, but there's no ultimate rule about this. In my case, it expressed itself in a wild range of colours, from a blurred femininity to usage of substances, dellusions, art, etc. NOT my favorite aspect, at all!!!!! I am curious about others with the same aspect. Only one I ever knew that had the same aspect was a singer who died in the 70s, Marc Bolan (died in a car crash, with a long history of drug and alcohol abuse). Altho he presented himself with a very androginous appearance, as far as I know he only had heterosexual relationships, and by the time of his death his girlfriend was pregnant. Maybe this aspect really throws some fog over someone's sexuality, but it remains in the field of fantasy. I'd like to hear from you, how do you experience this aspect.

Once again, thank you guys! Great to meet you all. And of course I will check your charts if they are available around. I finally found my tribe, LOL!

Many hugs,
RockFish.