Astrologers' Community  

Go Back   Astrologers' Community > General Astrology > Natal Astrology > Aspects & configurations

Aspects & configurations Discuss here about natal chart aspects and configurations.


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-19-2013, 05:06 PM
Venusinlibra's Avatar
Venusinlibra Venusinlibra is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Brazil
Posts: 140
Bad placements for ever finding love...

At age 50, I look back and notice I NEVER had a requited romantic relationship. I have had several boyfriends, but none of them ever looked at me as a lifetime partner. I was never asked to marry, or the like. They say Im very pretty - venus in libra square asc -, sexy, smart, funny, everything possible, but itエs not enough to make them want to share anything with me. I ALWAYS end up kicked.

I identify some aspects in my birth chart that point to that, and I would be very pleased to hear other impressions on it.

I have Moon, the ruler of the asc, in the 12th. It is 2 degrees from the asc, but in my opinion it works as a 12th house moon - loneliness, isolation, lack of popularity, no empathy.

Moon forms a exact square to Venus in libra in the 3th. And it is the only aspects both moon and venus have. Depression, insatisfaction, unhappiness, emotional insecurity.

Saturn rules and is placed at 7th, in aquarius.
Saturn in 7th squares Neptune in the 4th - ilusions, deceitful relationships.
Uranus is the co-ruler of 7th, and is conjunct sun. Instability, weirdness, socially unacceptable behaviour.

Both uranus and sun, and pluto, opposite Jupiter - ruler of the 5th, placed at 8th, conjunct Chiron.
Mars placed at 12th in cancer. Secret love affairs.

Truthful, requited romantic love will never happen, will it?
Attached Images
File Type: gif meu mapa natal.gif (58.1 KB, 34 views)

Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 04-19-2013, 07:49 PM
Blackempress's Avatar
Blackempress Blackempress is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: 8th House!
Posts: 721
Send a message via Yahoo to Blackempress Send a message via Skype™ to Blackempress
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

Was it really unrequited? At a glance I'm reading you likely projected your need for freedom onto your lovers. Sun Conj Uranus- Uranus Conj Pluto. You likely had a strong need for your independence. Moon Conj Asc- Your emotions were on your sleeve. You came across either as too clingy or too cold, depending on your feelings. Cancer Asc with a grand trine in Water- You are deeply emotional & there is an exaggerated need for mothering, dependency, safety from threat, over-caution, dithering. There is a strong element of empathy though.
You mentioned Moon-Sq-Venus: They can find themselves compromising their own emotional needs in order to find and keep love. Peace and harmony are important to these people--perhaps too much so, as they can easily be taken advantage of. Insecurity is something that these people need to deal with at some point in their lives.
So you know No-love-is-enough in your case.
__________________
I'd Kill for Individuality!

Last edited by Blackempress; 04-19-2013 at 08:29 PM.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Blackempress For This Useful Post:
GalacticEgg (06-12-2013)
  #3  
Old 04-19-2013, 09:01 PM
Venusinlibra's Avatar
Venusinlibra Venusinlibra is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Brazil
Posts: 140
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

Wow, just "a glance" and such indisputable verdict.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 06-11-2013, 11:55 PM
Krewster Krewster is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 694
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

My natally-challenged Ven is 1-ish degrees away from yours and my experience could be summed up as did you (until my mid-50's, as if the challenging aspects mellow).

In your case, respect for the challenge is best achieved by noting the a.m. Sun/Uran and Moon 90 Ven compose a 45-90-45 triangle (so the a.m. freedom urges midpoint/apex the 90).

At least, as in my case, you probably suffered no shortfall in activity levels since Mars is your best-aspected planet and connects by loose tri-decile to Ven (making a tri-decile - bi-quintile - tridecile triangle) with Sat.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 06-12-2013, 03:51 AM
GalacticEgg's Avatar
GalacticEgg GalacticEgg is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: *~\/enus~*
Posts: 67
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

With the chart ruler in the twelfth, I can imagine that you may have come across as being in "your own world" rather often to men. Regardless, Saturn, the great malefic, is powerful in Aquarius, is in the seventh house of marriage associated with Libra (Saturn is rather happy in Libra) the cusp of which in your chart begins in Capricorn. I mean yeah, Venus is in her rulership but note that Libra is her *intellectual* rulership, and she's found in the airy, intellectual third house associated with Gemini. Maybe the guys you've chased (or who chased you) simply could not perceive your inherent femininity or your desire to be married...?

Would you mind providing any astrological information or patterns in the charts of your past/current beaus?
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to GalacticEgg For This Useful Post:
Venusinlibra (06-14-2013)
  #6  
Old 06-14-2013, 02:34 PM
Venusinlibra's Avatar
Venusinlibra Venusinlibra is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Brazil
Posts: 140
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

Yes, sure, and thank you. There is definitely a patern. Almost ALL of my beaus had venus in aquarius, which means their venuses fell in my 7th, conjunct my saturn and square my neptune in 4th. And I suppose it is not a mere coincidence that my father had venus in aquarius as well...

Quote:
Originally Posted by GalacticEgg View Post
With the chart ruler in the twelfth, I can imagine that you may have come across as being in "your own world" rather often to men. Regardless, Saturn, the great malefic, is powerful in Aquarius, is in the seventh house of marriage associated with Libra (Saturn is rather happy in Libra) the cusp of which in your chart begins in Capricorn. I mean yeah, Venus is in her rulership but note that Libra is her *intellectual* rulership, and she's found in the airy, intellectual third house associated with Gemini. Maybe the guys you've chased (or who chased you) simply could not perceive your inherent femininity or your desire to be married...?

Would you mind providing any astrological information or patterns in the charts of your past/current beaus?
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 06-14-2013, 02:40 PM
Venusinlibra's Avatar
Venusinlibra Venusinlibra is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Brazil
Posts: 140
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

Hi Krewster, Iエd like to understand better... Your venus is at 18コ libra, just like mine? But what aspects does it receive? And which house is it placed?
Thank you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Krewster View Post
My natally-challenged Ven is 1-ish degrees away from yours and my experience could be summed up as did you (until my mid-50's, as if the challenging aspects mellow).

In your case, respect for the challenge is best achieved by noting the a.m. Sun/Uran and Moon 90 Ven compose a 45-90-45 triangle (so the a.m. freedom urges midpoint/apex the 90).

At least, as in my case, you probably suffered no shortfall in activity levels since Mars is your best-aspected planet and connects by loose tri-decile to Ven (making a tri-decile - bi-quintile - tridecile triangle) with Sat.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 06-14-2013, 04:58 PM
Venusinlibra's Avatar
Venusinlibra Venusinlibra is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Brazil
Posts: 140
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

You know what, GE, if astrology is good for something, it is for making you think. I can notice now that there is a vibe of vanity and childishness in my chart that could project an unwillingness to take responsibilities. And I even can relate that to my fatherエs venus in aquarius; since he was so untrustworthy, selfish and vain, somehow I took it as an acceptable behaviour. Also, took me a lifetime to find a career and go for it, and people usually look for mature, focused partners. So, I was the girl to have fun, not to marry. The funny thing is that, when my natal retrograde saturn turned direct by progression, few years ago, all my way to relate to institutions have changed, as if I finally quit being an angry frustrated teenager and began to compromise myself with the real world and its social mechanisms. Too bad it had to happen so late...
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 06-14-2013, 05:51 PM
waybread's Avatar
waybread waybread is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A class M planet near you
Posts: 6,394
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

Ah, well. You know the old saying, "Too soon old, too late smart."

Like Black Empress, I am looking at your sun-Uranus-Pluto conjunction. It forms the tip of a kite involving Mars, Neptune, and Chiron-Jupiter. You need to express your powerful (Pluto) and unique (Uranus) identity (sun) very strongly. With these planets in perfectionist Virgo, were any of these guys actually a good match for you?

I also note that you have a very "strong" chart with four (count 'em) domiciled planets, counting both modern and traditional rulerships: Venus, moon, Mercury, and Saturn. Possibly these guys felt like they just couldn't hold their own with your powerful personality.

Saturn in the 7th can be an indicator of marriage late in life, marriage to an older person, or disappointments in marriage. It makes just the one aspect to Neptune-- the planet of beautiful illusions and deep disillusionment. We might unpack Neptune's placement in your 4th house of early childhood conditioning. Maybe your family either inadvertently or more directly gave you too believe you were not the marryng type, or not to look for permanance in relationships.

BTW, there is nothing inherently "untrustworthy, selfish, and vain" about Venus in Aquarius. As a fixed sign it can be very loyal; and as an air sign, it takes a more mental approach to relationships, not a warm fuzzy one. Venus in Aquarius might seek out unusual relationships (or marry the scientist next door) but a maladjusted planet usually has other issues going on with it. Look at Dad's entire chart to find these.
__________________
"That which you have tried yourself, which you have experienced, which you have recognized as true, and which will be beneficial to you and to others; believe that, and shape your conduct to it." --Buddha, Kalama Sutta

"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we値l change the world." --Jack Layton, "Letter to Canadians"

--Philippians 4:8
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to waybread For This Useful Post:
Venusinlibra (06-14-2013)
  #10  
Old 06-14-2013, 07:21 PM
Venusinlibra's Avatar
Venusinlibra Venusinlibra is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Brazil
Posts: 140
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

Donエt forget Jupiter in its old rulership, pisces... LOL! And each one of them is pulling on a different direction... But, thereエs another feature on my chart that is not so evident. There is not even one single planet in fire signs, and all the houses of fire are empty. And LOTs of water. It gives you an indecisive, weak quality that is not very appealing. They say you must see at least three indications in a chart to identify a trend. I think there are plenty of indications in my chart for the related problems. I think I was in the hope that someone would look at it and say "Wait! Look at this asteroid here! It says that after you reach 50 all the men in the world - including George Clooney - will fell in love for you and propose!"

Now, on behalf of the astrologic knowledge, I think it would be valid tell the truth on how this saturn in 7th worked for me. This is the beauty of astrology, it operates in misterious, unexpected ways, and you cant take everything just by the book.

I have a lifetime partner, with whom I have been living for the last 20 years. He is not a husband - we donエt relate as man and woman, we never got married, we date other people - he is like a pocket family for me, like brother, father and mother all at once.

He is very sober, solid, trustfull, hard worker, and God forgive me, he is like a 100 years old man since he was 20. He is the Saturn in my life, who entered at my first saturn return, the only structured bond I ever had. And dont get me wrong, we love each other, but it is not a marriage, despite our families and neighbours think it is (saturn square neptune in 4th, by the way he is a pisces). I know it is very hard to understand, from the outside, what is our relationship. It is so unusual - aquarius... So, Saturn in 7th didnt denied a partner, but it denied conventional marriage, by giving a very saturnine and (aquarius, uranus conjunct sun as coruler of 7th) unusual relationship. All I wish were to know how is to have a real commited, romantic and sexual, socially accepted relationship, for once... (sob... )
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 06-14-2013, 08:06 PM
waybread's Avatar
waybread waybread is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A class M planet near you
Posts: 6,394
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

VenusinLibra-- Yes-- I do grant you Jupiter!

But I don't think you were straightforward about your love life in your OP.

You wrote: "At age 50, I look back and notice I NEVER had a requited romantic relationship. I have had several boyfriends, but none of them ever looked at me as a lifetime partner. I was never asked to marry, or the like."

Then, in your post replying to me you wrote: "I have a lifetime partner, with whom I have been living for the last 20 years. He is not a husband - we donエt relate as man and woman, we never got married, we date other people - he is like a pocket family..."

This leaves me puzzled. Are you sleeping with him or not? (Or did you at least at one time, when you first started your relationship?)

Surely you are aware of "open" or "polyamorous" marriages and relationships!

Surely you are aware of many marriages without much of (or, indeed any) sex life, especially as people age and the male libido slows down (hence all those Viagra ads on TV.) Some married couples, for medical reasons, are unable to have a "normal" sexual relationship.

Surely you are aware that any guy who is attracted to you might head for the exit once he learns you are living with someone else!

You must be aware of the concept of a companionate marriage. Sometimes the emphasis is more on "companion" that the notions of sizzling hot romance.

Do you know how lucky all of the truly single middle-aged gals out there would think you are, to at least have a nice man in the house?
__________________
"That which you have tried yourself, which you have experienced, which you have recognized as true, and which will be beneficial to you and to others; believe that, and shape your conduct to it." --Buddha, Kalama Sutta

"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we値l change the world." --Jack Layton, "Letter to Canadians"

--Philippians 4:8
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 06-14-2013, 08:15 PM
Venusinlibra's Avatar
Venusinlibra Venusinlibra is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Brazil
Posts: 140
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

Dear Waybread, I know what it looks like, but give me some credit. Yes, I am aware of all kinds of open or sexless marriages. This is not the case here. I never had a manly presence in my life. I knew I would raise this reaction with my last post, but I thought it would be of astrologic relevance - this is the point of the forum, isnエt it? - to describe my relationship.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 06-14-2013, 09:36 PM
waybread's Avatar
waybread waybread is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A class M planet near you
Posts: 6,394
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

VenusinLibra, I feel that you misled people in your OP.

I am sorry that you don't feel the "right" type of love for a man who has been so emotionally close to you for two decades (by your own account,) but how many wives do?

Possibly I am critiquing an unrealistic view of committed romantic relationships on your part. Speaking as someone who is a long-term married (twice,) I assert that much of the day-to-day stuff of marriage is much like your relationship with your roomie. We watch the news, put out the trash, plan our days, and look after the house. Nor am I a one-off, judging from what I glean from my long-married friends and neighbours.

If you are living with a man, this is still a "manly presence" whether he fits your ideals or not.

As I suggested earlier, if you've been sharing your home with this "friend" for 20 years, it is probably one reason why your other relationships didn't develop further. Possibly the other men didn't want to feel that you would continue your pattern of "dating" while living with them.

Romantic love gets harder to find as people age. Demographics are against us.
__________________
"That which you have tried yourself, which you have experienced, which you have recognized as true, and which will be beneficial to you and to others; believe that, and shape your conduct to it." --Buddha, Kalama Sutta

"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we値l change the world." --Jack Layton, "Letter to Canadians"

--Philippians 4:8
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to waybread For This Useful Post:
  #14  
Old 06-14-2013, 10:01 PM
Venusinlibra's Avatar
Venusinlibra Venusinlibra is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Brazil
Posts: 140
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

Saying "date", "married" or "engaged" are just reductive concepts we create to better try to manage reality. Each relationship has its own terms and features, and of course it would be impossible to define mine at this limited space, and what is more, without entering my friendエs issues that are not anybodyエs business but his. And please, donエt say I "misled people" - this is a serious charge - , coz I told it all, didnエt I?
[deleted non-astrological comments - Moderator]

Last edited by wilsontc; 06-15-2013 at 10:55 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 06-15-2013, 12:50 AM
Krewster Krewster is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 694
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

Can I use my (useless) Libra Moon to get everyone back at the same table?

Waybread's posts (including on another forum) show consistent caring/insight (though swallowing wide-orb based comments is another story).

V-in-L: Acknowledge the misunderstandings come not just from use of "(un)requited" but also use of "love" and let it go (as a cultural background thing perhaps).

Back to your chart: Your self-righteous will-power seems beyond measure/off-the-scale (Sun/Uran 60 Mars) but it doesn't serve your requited-love goals well because it exacerbates (rather than being neutral to or mitigating) your Moon 90 Ven by triangulating into the 45-90-45.

Nice transits (Jup and beyond) to that triangle will present opportunities to figure it all out in action but, in the meantime, you did just what I did (arrange for an unusual compromise to endure). The sources of your motivation/strength to do stick with the compromise are (i) your 37 min tight Sun tri-septile to Sat (my chart's tightest is the septile betw those planets and so I stayed in a prestigious/remunerative but super-clerical/no-power job for decades beyond all but 2% of my similarly-situated colleagues who fled when they could), and (ii) your 16 min tight Ven tri-decile Sat (so your Ven makes conservatively appropriate choices. This is not to say you don't pine for ultimate love (Ven novile Pluto - 1.04 tight).

As for my 17 Libra Ven, it has a similar Uran challenge (a 4-degree-loose 90 in my case) and is wedged betw Sat and Nept (8 degree spread).
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Krewster For This Useful Post:
waybread (06-15-2013)
  #16  
Old 06-15-2013, 01:15 AM
may28gemini
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

Don't mind my Libra Saturn coming in on this thread and trying to make some sense of it, because, I don't quite grasp that the issue is.

Do you really, truly, want the ideal love that you speak of?

There's not a lot of men who would want to marry and spend the rest of his days (traditional setup/mentality) with a woman who has formidable independence energies (not traditional). If you want something on the traditional spectrum, you will need to offer something structurally traditional in return. That's the Libran way. That's how marriage is, and I've been married so what I say isn't fluff. But that's also reality- the law of equal exchange.

I think you've encountered plenty of good men who would have really liked to settle down with you exclusively. From your chart, I gather you to at least have been quite beautiful and had some pleasant feminine charms to be around, but you've done things to push them away- and in an emotionally aggressive sort way too (Moon and Mars in 1st), possibly out of fear for losing something- maybe complete freedom. That's not something most men in general will put up with- at any age or time period.

It's not that you have bad placements for love, it's that you have placements for untraditional love and you've chosen to be in untraditional love types of situation. You've made the choices you've made and unhappy with the results but that's not because of your chart. Astrology didn't jinx you (or anyone else for that matter) in love.

I don't understand why you seem to be disappointed/sad about that. Your original post made me think you were used and taken advantaged of and then I read further down that you already live with someone in a sort of quasi-husband set up and not satisfied with that. Your chart shows me a person who will never be satisfied in love, unless there's a knight in shining armor that's ready to give up 100% of himself to you with no expectations of anything in return. Anyone would see that would be a bad deal to give up themselves for nothing in exchange.

Last edited by may28gemini; 06-15-2013 at 02:57 AM.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to For This Useful Post:
waybread (06-15-2013)
  #17  
Old 06-15-2013, 02:26 AM
waybread's Avatar
waybread waybread is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A class M planet near you
Posts: 6,394
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

[deleted response to non-astrological remarks - Moderator]

I try to pay attention to what people write, because a "blind" horoscope reading is difficult for anyone to do. What an OPer writes links her to the horoscope placements. When a person posts something that is inconsistent with her actual situation, it can throw off the reading and wastes the time of people who are earnestly trying to be helpful.

Also, my brand of astrology is simply to give kitchen-table advice. If we were to meet in person and you posed your OP questions to me, I would still want to link the astrology to how I think a "typical" male Person of Interest would react to your living arrangement. It is likely that the new man would be "narrow minded" and "not get the complexity of relationships," either.

For one thing, as I mentioned above, your date might react badly, in thinking you were romantically interested in him while having a long-term partner. This would especially be likely if the new man learned about your roomie through a third party, not through you directly. Three is a crowd to many singles. Your roomie may not be your partner in a conventional sense, but you see how most people (like your family and friends) would take it.

Second, even if your date gets that your roomie is sort of your platonic "brother, father, and mother;" your date might consequently conclude that your roomie could be a permanent fixture in your life, and one that he would have to put up with were he to pursue a romantic relationship with you.

Even if your roomie is gay, celibate, or what-have-you, once you say "we love each other" it opens up a problematic dynamic for a prospective lover.

We discussed earlier that you have a very "strong" chart. Not everyone is so constituted. Given how strongly you responded to me, it is possible that other men might find you overwhelming if they said something (deliberately or inadvertently) that you didn't like. You have this strong moon in Cancer sitting on your ascendant, which will probably be the first thing many people react to, in meeting you for the first time. Some people would find this placement loving and adorable, but men with a heavy air or fire emphasis might instinctively feel overhwelmed by it.

Anyway, as I said above, Saturn in the 7th can mean finding Mr. Right later in life. Perhaps he is out there for you.
__________________
"That which you have tried yourself, which you have experienced, which you have recognized as true, and which will be beneficial to you and to others; believe that, and shape your conduct to it." --Buddha, Kalama Sutta

"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we値l change the world." --Jack Layton, "Letter to Canadians"

--Philippians 4:8

Last edited by wilsontc; 06-15-2013 at 10:56 PM.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to waybread For This Useful Post:
  #18  
Old 06-15-2013, 01:47 PM
Venusinlibra's Avatar
Venusinlibra Venusinlibra is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Brazil
Posts: 140
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

Waybread, from my point of view, my OP is not inconsistent. I wrote I never had a requited ROMANTIC and SEXUAL relationship, and this is 100% true. I have a partner with whom I live and share everyday life, but there is not - there was never - nothing romantic or sexual about it. And it is so far from a man/woman relationship that I didnt even think it would be of relevance to tell at first moment, and I only told later because I thought it would be interesting, since it shows how saturn works. So please, dont say I misled - at least intentionally - people here. It is a serious charge.
I agree that living with a man can keep other men away, but the issues I refer came to happen early in my life, long before my present arrangement.
When I say I love him, and Im very grateful for everything he gives me, I could be talking of a dear brother or a caring aunt. If so, nobody would feel so shocked, would you? But since it is a male friend, everybody is so unconfortable, and feeling "misled". Think a bit. Think as well on the very agressive quotes you placed at your post "friend", "dating", and the amazingly direct way you required "DO YOU SLEEP WITH HIM OR NOT?"! My God! Especially when the question was already answered.
My english is poor, since it is not my first language, so maybe sometimes I choose improper words, but I dont think it is the case here. And certainly it is not that you said something I didnt like to hear, but that I came with a proposal that made you feel unconfortable, coz it challenges the well sited concepts you have on how people should relate.
I didnt come here to have a therapy session or to offer myself in masochist sacrifice on behalf of social order. My aim was to add to the astrological discussion and, of course, get some astrological advice on a situation in my life. Im really surprised on the judgemental reaction my post raised, it is like people is saying "shut up and carry your burden", as if I was complaining of a broken nail or something, or as if a middleaged woman had no right to a improvement in her life. Someone that never saw me before wrote "you probably WAS beautiful" (!!!!!) Well, sorry, I still am! Why suppose Iエm not anymore? Just because Iエm 50? Thats the kind of prejudices people express without even noticing. Since this is a virtual space, for things to work we must take each otherエs statements as faithful, but all I hear is that what I say is not true, which means Iエm a liar or stupid.. Like GalacticEgg said, it is like stripping in public. I will think twice next time. Anyway, I could grasp some useful astrological insights from the replies here and Iエm thankful for that.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 06-15-2013, 03:57 PM
Venusinlibra's Avatar
Venusinlibra Venusinlibra is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Brazil
Posts: 140
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

When I say my love was never requited, I know exactly what Iエm talking about. Since my first experiences, I always had an endless line of "boyfriends" for whom I deeply fell in love, with whom I wanted to live and share everything, and that took my favors, sometimes my money, cheated on me, lied a lot making promises they never kept ("I love you, weエre going to live together, I want you to be my wife"), then left in the most cold and unconsiderate manner. It is embarrassing to have to reveal that in public, but since you suppose I was the unresponsive one, I feel compelled to clarify that. All my life has been a quest for love and safety, not for selfish freedom as you suppose. I never had a real family or any kind of mentor in life - can you call a drug addict father and an schizofrenic mother a family? - and so, you may figure how difficult it was to me to develop social skills. It took me a lifetime to nail that. And yes, I quite understand how these features worked against my interests, but donエt picture me as if I was Lilith herself. You would be amazed on how naive and romantic I am. Unconventional yes, I am - did I had a choice on that? -, self sufficient, no, by all means no.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 06-15-2013, 04:06 PM
waybread's Avatar
waybread waybread is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A class M planet near you
Posts: 6,394
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

VenusinLibra: No,you did not make me feel uncomfortable-- how could I? We are perfect strangers on an Internet forum. After 6 years of reading and responding to posts, I have nearly "seen it all," reading many posts about relationships that are far more unusual than yours. Rather, it appears that I made you feel uncomfortable by inquiring into the nature of your relationship with your room mate. It also appears that you can handle assertive posts, judging from your own posting style.

I am sorry that your love life did not work out the way you wanted and that you take such deep offense. I hope, nevertheless, that I have given you some astrological and realistic advice as to why this might have happened.

Good luck to you.
__________________
"That which you have tried yourself, which you have experienced, which you have recognized as true, and which will be beneficial to you and to others; believe that, and shape your conduct to it." --Buddha, Kalama Sutta

"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we値l change the world." --Jack Layton, "Letter to Canadians"

--Philippians 4:8
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 06-15-2013, 04:50 PM
Venusinlibra's Avatar
Venusinlibra Venusinlibra is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Brazil
Posts: 140
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

And by the way, if you dont understand why Im not satisfied, learn about the nature of a square between Moon and Venus - especially such strong Moon and Venus as mine. In few words, the energies of Moon - the way you approach safety and emotion issues in life - is not operating in accordance with the energies of Venus - the way you approach pleasure, romantic love, social harmony. While my Moon in cancer (in the 12th, not the 1th!) wants to sit at a nest and get fat, my Venus in libra wants a charming, sexy, exciting and a bit naughty fairy tale.
I think contemporary astrologers are placing too much enphasis on free will and underestimating the power of the birth chart.
Stephen Arroyo says that you never know if a person is doing great job with a difficult map, or lousy job with an easy one, so, again: Letエs not be so judgemental!
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 06-15-2013, 05:31 PM
ashriia's Avatar
ashriia ashriia is offline
Senior Member
ashriia's Profile Fields
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: NJ/NYC
Posts: 805
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

Hi, VenusinLibra

sounds like it's open season, on you in this thread. sheesh. I am so glad you shared all you did in this thread, because it's astrologically relevant. I have a similar setup to you. Moon in 12th(Gemini), conjunct ascendant by 1 degree. 1st house is cancer. My sun is opposite Uranus. venus, Jupiter, moon, mars, saturn and pluto are all aspecting Uranus. I like my freedom

Every reply you have received here in this thread I've been told as well, only in person and non astrologically. I have been living with a man for 11 years, who is very saturnian, has moon in aquarius. weird, this similarity. though we are not together. we were together the 1st year. since then it's more of a roommate setup. we date other people - he is more like my immature brother who I happen to be friends with. So it's a little different there. People don't understand living arrangements like this. Especially not men. Because men will think like men. and expect you to be sleeping with your roommate. since they likely would. so it doesn't matter if you're not.

Most people that would date you, aware of your living situation, are most probably not going to be the right type of partners. If you want a healthy relationship with someone more likely to be honest and loyal, youre probably going to have to move elsewhere. Your friend might be more like a security blanket that at some point your going to need to let go of if you are seeking a loyal long term romantic partner. requited love, doesn't seem to be denied to you. but your hindering your prospects of finding it.

I'm leaving my own situation with plans to move back to my natal city/home to open up new avenues in my own life, and let go of the past which I've totally outgrown.

I think when you have challenging aspects to Uranus this is what is so challenging embracing uranian nature. letting go of a safe existence.

lastly, you don't have to be more feminine and play Susie-home-maker/dumb it down/be less assertive to find a suitable partner. what's that about. just be honest with who you are from the get go and you'll attract someone that compliments your nature, but you might have to give up your housing arrangement for it. & There are plenty of intellectual interesting men that don't care if you order Chinese take out every night. this is 2013. not the stone age. you don't have to change who you are fundamentally to find someone. that's my Lilith 1st house talking!


all the best to you hun
__________________
"Maybe you are searching among the branches for what only appears in the roots" ~ Rumi

"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music"
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 06-15-2013, 08:49 PM
may28gemini
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Venusinlibra View Post
And by the way, if you dont understand why Im not satisfied, learn about the nature of a square between Moon and Venus - especially such strong Moon and Venus as mine. In few words, the energies of Moon - the way you approach safety and emotion issues in life - is not operating in accordance with the energies of Venus - the way you approach pleasure, romantic love, social harmony. While my Moon in cancer (in the 12th, not the 1th!) wants to sit at a nest and get fat, my Venus in libra wants a charming, sexy, exciting and a bit naughty fairy tale.
I think contemporary astrologers are placing too much enphasis on free will and underestimating the power of the birth chart.
Stephen Arroyo says that you never know if a person is doing great job with a difficult map, or lousy job with an easy one, so, again: Letエs not be so judgemental!
Your posts seem like you're bemoaning your situation as if you're the only one who suffers from this and that. When I said you were at least beautiful at some point, that was just a general statement. I don't know what you look like, but I could really care less. If you think you're beautiful, then that's great. I never said you aren't. I never said that a 50 year old can't be beautiful. That shows how insecure you are and when your insecurities gets exposed you start projecting your own issues to others. You jump to too many conclusions about what others say when they say what you don't want to hear.

You're not the only one with Moon square Venus. There's plenty of people who have that aspect. Even I have that (Pisces-Gemini) and my best friend (Cancer-Aries) but neither she nor I don't have a "woe is me" outlook on love. That aspect didn't delay or deny marriage on my account nor my friend's. I might think there's a lot of unsuitable men out there for me, but who cares? I'm not with them, I don't have to be with them. I wouldn't want something with anyone unsuitable anyway. No, not everyone will hold my detached and objective sort of views and I get that. But quite frankly, it is not helpful for you or anyone else for that matter to be boohooing about something they can take steps to change and track progress. Blaming parts of your astrological chart makeup is never the answer because all that does is give you excuses on repeating the same mistakes. Have you questioned why you attract the same kind of men that mistreat you? Have you thought of what it is you're willing to put up with and what's a no-go? Have you considered that there's something that you can do to meet more men that you would like (similar activities, etc.)? There are many things you can do that can help you change your situation so you can achieve what you want. It's not something that cannot be concretely obtained in this world.

I'm really NOT a jerk. If I didn't care, if I'm really a mean person, I would let you and anyone else that comes on with problems to wallow in their own misery and not ever say a single word. I know full well that I sound really harsh and maybe some members on the forum know me as saying some really harsh cut and dry things and I could be very well persona non grata, but I keeping things grounded and leveled. Which brings me to the point that in reality, people don't learn from gentleness, they learn when they encounter obstacles and it's the hardships that pushes a person to take action. I don't care if you're 50 or 15, and unless you're enslaved in some cage in the middle of the jungle, you operate on free will and make choices. I will keep telling people how it is, not because I'm trying to rub salt in your wounds because I'm not, but I'm not putting on a soft bandage for you and telling you it's all right when you say it's not. Whether or not you're happy with the choices you've made is up to you. But if you're unhappy, find ways to change it, act instead of react. I realize maybe that's a hard thing as I noticed you have debilitated Cancer Mars. But I'm just offering some sensible, real suggestions. You can decide if you want to take them into consideration, but you needn't be upset or defensive about your shortcomings as everyone has them. I see a lot of people do that on the forum and it really is distressing to see that there's more who are willing to use astrology to bury their heads in the sand rather than work towards concrete ways to resolve those maladies.

BTW, Waybread is really cool and caring and is one of the most rational members on the forum. Listen to Waybread if my words are too sharp.

Last edited by may28gemini; 06-15-2013 at 11:23 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 06-15-2013, 09:38 PM
waybread's Avatar
waybread waybread is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A class M planet near you
Posts: 6,394
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

VenusinLibra, please realize that we are just a bunch of strangers on an Internet forum. We have no idea who you are in person, and will not try to find out. So there is no need for you to feel embarrassed. BTW, your English is fine. You have no trouble expressing yourself.

With your dignified Mercury, you surely realize that if you start your OP with, "At age 50, ...I NEVER had a requited romantic relationship. I have had several boyfriends, but none of them ever looked at me as a lifetime partner.... asked to marry, or the like. ... I ALWAYS end up kicked;" you are liable to get some tough answers.

I mean, nobody posts, "I am in a deeply happy fulfilling marriage. Can you look at my chart and explain why?"

But notice how hard you came down on me when I asked some tough questions and made some judgments that you didn't like! I wonder, did you respond in similar ways to these BFs you loved, when they displeased you? This sort of behaviour seems very consistent, to me, with sun conjunct Pluto, seconded by Mercury square Mars. Sun-Pluto people often construe relationships as power dynamics: dominate or be dominated. This could help to explain why you have not had a fulfilling long-term romantic relationship, because after a certain amount of stress and drama, the other person gets tired of it. You may win an argument but lose a relationship.

Do you think your sun-Pluto just might affect your ability to sustain a relationship?

Also, I notice that you said your BFs essentially started sneaking behind your back, notably wanting to see other women. This suggests to me that they didn't want you to overwhelm them with anger, by their ending the relationship more openly, and sooner.

I understand why you wouldn't find the lack of a fulfilling sexual and romantic relationship conducive to the life you wish to lead. But no, I don't think it is moon square Venus. Generally the folks who really have difficulty with celibacy have hard Mars-Venus aspects, oftentimes with some other planet like Pluto thrown in.

A Cancer moon craves and needs the feeling of emotional closeness and bonding with someone; and fully expects to give it in return. This overwhelming sense of desire heightens with Venus in Libra, a partnership-oriented sign. These feelings are also heightened by the close square. Venus in Libra is generally more mental (as an air sign) and artistic than strongly sexual, yet with your powerful moon conjunct your ascendant, you do "wear your heart on your sleeve."

Passion is good-- up to a point. Many people without so many domiciled planets, or whose charts are predominantly air and fire, would probably find you overwhelming, however. A sun in Aquarius or Gemini man, for example, really needs his mental and emotional space, not the emotional closeness you crave.

If you can recall why these boyfriends said they were splitting with you (if they were courageous enough to give you reasons,) see if you can find those factors in your horoscope.
__________________
"That which you have tried yourself, which you have experienced, which you have recognized as true, and which will be beneficial to you and to others; believe that, and shape your conduct to it." --Buddha, Kalama Sutta

"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we値l change the world." --Jack Layton, "Letter to Canadians"

--Philippians 4:8
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to waybread For This Useful Post:
Venusinlibra (06-15-2013)
  #25  
Old 06-15-2013, 10:20 PM
may28gemini
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: Bad placements for ever finding love...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ashriia View Post
My sun is opposite Uranus. venus, Jupiter, moon, mars, saturn and pluto are all aspecting Uranus. I like my freedom
I think when you have challenging aspects to Uranus this is what is so challenging embracing uranian nature. letting go of a safe existence.
If you have Scorpio Uranus, I have that too. My Sun is also opposite Uranus. In addition, I have Uranus trine Moon, inconjunct Mercury, opposite Mars, sextile Jupiter, sextile Saturn. I love and will fight for freedom. Despite all that, I still had 3 men propose marriage to me (2 were Aquarius Sun, 1 Leo Sun) and I married the 3rd one. The Aquarian males that I met are pretty traditional but wacky (I just love that). My point is, having a lot of Uranian energy doesn't prevent a person from marriage or getting married or having a monogamous/requited/traditional love relationship.


I lived with a male roommate before, and I hated him. I had 2 boyfriends (not at the same time) during the time I lived with that male roommate and they never thought there was anything that went on between me and the roommate. As a matter of fact, my roommate and I were acrimonious at best (and that's an exaggeration).

There is something to be said about the energy that bounces off of others when you're in the same space with them. People do pick up on those energies, even if it's a subconscious (or even unconscious) process. If a woman is living with a man and the woman's beau picks up the energy that there is nothing between them, the beau can relax and continue having a relationship with the woman and there would be some opportunity for them to progress their relationship further. If the woman (for whatever reason) refuse to let go of her male roommate, wouldn't that not only look but sound suspicious?! There's no way a man would want/put up with his female partner taking her male roommate with them as the relationship goes further.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ashriia View Post
lastly, you don't have to be more feminine and play Susie-home-maker/dumb it down/be less assertive to find a suitable partner. what's that about. just be honest with who you are from the get go and you'll attract someone that compliments your nature, but you might have to give up your housing arrangement for it. & There are plenty of intellectual interesting men that don't care if you order Chinese take out every night. this is 2013. not the stone age. you don't have to change who you are fundamentally to find someone. that's my Lilith 1st house talking!
I never suggested to VinL nor said that anyone has to be a "Susie homemaker" nor "dumb it down" nor "be less assertive" to get a man/boyfriend/husband. None of those points cancel each other out. A homemaker isn't necessarily someone who dumbed it down or less assertive. My mother was a homemaker for a long time, not because she's an idiot and was less assertive but she's a bit on the traditional spectrum when it came to martial relations and my father is pretty traditional across the board. He wanted my mother to be at home to be there for his children and she was happy to do it. During her time as a "homemaker," my father paid for her Master's degree. He doesn't have a Master's (just a Bachelor's) but he paid for his wife's and paid for me and my brother to go to private schools. As soon as my brother and I got older, she wanted to go back to work and so she did. My mother worked in the finance department in big corporations since I was 9 years old and retired a few years ago. My mother never stayed in that homemaker/dumbed down state but she always kept her femininity.

Judging from how you phrased that, there's definitely animosity towards those who aren't into embracing pro-feminist sentiments. What I said was that if you want something traditional, you have to offer something equally traditionally (strong)- like attracts like. I'm well aware that there's many types of marriages and there's all sorts of unconventional setups. Relationships mean something different depending on the individual and people have the ability to individually determine what it is that they want to get out of the relationship. But that does not invalidate what I previously stated because there is a law of equal exchange, quip pro quo, and that's always in play. If you are only concerned about only getting what you want without offering something similar in exchange, you're going to keep getting hurt. Fight reality if you want to, but it's futile. I guess that's just my evil Scorpio Lilith keeping it real. No wait, it's my Libra Saturn in the 1st again.

Last edited by may28gemini; 06-15-2013 at 10:59 PM.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
finding, love, placements

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT. The time now is 02:33 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ゥ 2005-2014, AstrologyWeekly.com. Boards' structure and all posts are property of AstrologyWeekly.com and their respective creators. No part of the messages sent on these boards may be copied without their owners' explicit consent.