Will he contact me?

[monique111]

Hi everybody, this is my first post. I am new to astrology but had profound respect for it. I am looking forward to enjoying this forum with everybody.

My story:

I used to live in NYC, and moved back to Toronto, Canada (my hometown) last year. When I did live in NYC I dated someone, and we did break up before I moved back. He was dating someone but we still maintained contact. Eventhough we live in different cities (and countries) we still stayed in contact and I would see him when I would visit NYC. Last time I was there (in April) he made little effort to see me, and I found out he was dating someone new. I got mad at him and we did not speak. Last week he responded to a text message of mine (I crashed my car) and he just commented on that. I want more contact from him but I feel I am always making the effort. I would like him to contact me because he sincerely wants to, not because he is politely responding to my random text message.

My question is: Will he contact me?

Thank you so very much.
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[monique111]

I don't know very much about horary astrolgy. I think the Moon represents my ex, and it is in the 5th house (true love?). That is all I can say right now.

I also want to ask, I have been thinking about this question quite some time now. So would the answer change depending on when I decide to post this. For example, I have been thinking about this for the past 3 days intensly. If I post this tomorrow, would it change from posting it dated July 12, 2007?

Thank you again.
Monique

[CuriousGirl]

I'm not an expert at astrology, but here's what I see in this chart:

- Moon is in the first degrees of a sign, this usually indicates it is too early to ask this question.
- Ascendant is in the last degrees of the chart, this means, believe, that a horary chart cannot be interpreted.
- If we disregard these, then Mars rules the 3rd house (communication), and it is in detriment in Taurus. I don't see any aspects of it to either your significator (Saturn) or his (Moon).
Maybe it is really too early to ask the question and more time needs to pass before you can get an answer.

[monique1]

Hi Curious Girl and Coffee,

Thank you for looking at my chart. I am curious coffee, why do you say he is not an available person? I think I have an idea, but would really love to know what you see in this chart!!

(Btw, I had to change my login name to Monique1, I couldn't log in with monique111)

Thanks, I would love to hear back from you.

Kind Regards
Monique

[Moondance]

I would like to look at the chart and perhaps comment , but I can't seem to bring it up. Sorry. PS, If Venus is separating from Saturn, this does not indicate contact.

[eedwards]

Hi Monique111,

Unfortunately, this chart does not bode well. Although Saturn lies in the 7th house I believe that it remains a valid chart.

The luminaries both lie below the horizon indicating a negative answer - perhaps he is hiding something.

Turning the chart I place your ex, (Cancer - ruler Moon), on the ascendant and you, (Capricorn - ruler Saturn), on the 7th house.

There are no applying aspects between the Moon and Saturn, again a strong indicator that the contact will not take place.

You, (Saturn), lie in his first house in the intercepted sign of Leo. The ruler of this intercepted sign lies in his 12th house of secrets and is in opposition his 7th house, (You). He is keeping secrets that he does not want you to know, it is almost as if he feels "stuck" and fears that you will find something out if the contact is made.

His house of communications is Taurus and it's ruler Venus is applying to a sextile with Mercury ruler of his 11th house of friends. Mercury as well as the Moon both lie in the 12th house of secrets. Venus lies in the intercepted sign of Leo in 1st house. Is it possible that he is seeing a mutual friend and is afraid to tell you? In any case, things are being hidden for some reason and any type of contact with you is seen as a "threat" in exposing the truth.
I hope this helps,
Ed

[monique1]

coffee,

I know what you're saying. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, it is hard to get over someone you once loved. But thank you.

eedwards,

I don't think he is dating a friend of mine. However, I think he does keep a lot of secrets.

I am having such a hard time letting go of him, I just don't understand the hold he has on me. I have been in several relationships and have never felt like this. Does anyone see anything in the chart that can help me understand why I am having such a hard time letting him go?....it has been so difficult and I can't understand it.

Kind Regards
Monique

[monique1]

Moondance,

Thank you for the interest in the chart. If you go to "attached thumbnails" you will see the chart (small version of it). Click on the chart and it will pop up.

Thank you,
Monique

[freedomlover]

Monique,

You wrote:

I am having such a hard time letting go of him, I just don't understand the hold he has on me. I have been in several relationships and have never felt like this. Does anyone see anything in the chart that can help me understand why I am having such a hard time letting him go?....it has been so difficult and I can't understand it.

I'll give you my thoughts. I'm just a beginner at horary, and I read things differently than most due to my lack of traditional training. I also read the horary chart as a "snapshot" of the energies present. So just see if anything I say resonates with you.....

You are signified by Saturn, which is in Leo in the 7th. You are trying to control (AC/saturn) what the desired romantic partner has put restrictions on. (YOur sign, Saturn in Leo in his house). His Sig is the Moon, which is in Cancer in the 5th. The cusp of the house is Gemini. I see this as him dating another woman, but he has a history, and somewhat of an attachment to you. Also, he probably likes the attention. You may also remind him of his mother - in a good way and/or a bad way. He may have fond memories of you, but his Cancer emotions, combined with your Saturn/Cap tells me that he has control issues with women.

I want more contact from him but I feel I am always making the effort. I would like him to contact me because he sincerely wants to, not because he is politely responding to my random text message.

The sig for your part of the communication is Mars, which is in Taurus in the 3rd - you holding on /resisting change/perservering in the communication. His sig for his part of the communication is Venus, which is in Leo in the 7th, and is moving away from your sig of Saturn in Leo in the 7th. I see this as his has found a new romance and is moving on. Also, Mercury is conjunct his Sig of Moon in Cancer. This, too tells me, that he sees the communication as you trying to hold on. (Caught in the crab's pincers). He probably still has feelings for you, and thinks well of you, and doesn't want to hurt you. However, since he has communication problems, he doesn't really want to talk about it either, especially since he sees you trying to pull him back into the relationship.

Obsessions - things that have a hold on you and you don't know why- are in the 8th house. Virgo is on the cusp. Using Mercury as the Sig, it conjuncts his Sig, so this would show you that the communication on your part has an obsessive, controlling root to it. Using Chiron as the Sig for the obsession, it is in Aquarius, in an intercepted house. Cap and Pisces are on either side. It is an old wound that has been infected many times over, and this is your chance to heal it. It is extremely difficult for you to quit controlling (Cap) and let go (Pisces), because you can't detach (Chiron in Aquarius).

This painful choice is further emphasized with your communication sig (Mars in Taurus) being inconjunct Jupiter in Sag in the 10th. The choice is either to hold on to what is tearing you up or have faith. The goal (MC) is Scorpio - transformation and renewal and finding someone to connect with as a soul mate. By letting go, you open the door for this. It may be cliche, but if you love someone set them free, if they come back to you, they are yours. Either this man will realize you are the one and he will come back OR you will open the door for the right one. Obsessing about it is keeping the door closed either way.

Also, be on the lookout for jealousy, especially with Scorpio on the MC. Your communication sig is Mars in the 3rd. Mars is highly competitive. Also given that the cusp of romance is in Gemini. This could be triggering some deeply rooted jealousy/self-worth/competition issues with you. Notice if it started bothering you worse when you found out about the other woman. You were very mad about it for some reason. Also, seeing as his sig is the Moon in Cancer - the Moon is reflective and he may be reflecting back to you your own previous issues with rejection, or not feeling like you received enough attention and love.

It is very common for men with mother/control/communication issues to act crab-like and side-step any truthful communication. It's easier for them to just hope you read the situation for yourself, and that way they get out of a confrontation - not a strong suit for men with mother/control issues.

I'm not sure if I'm doing this right according to horary rules, but the end of the matter is in Taurus. The sig for that is Venus in Leo - his Communication sig, which is moving away from your controlling (pressing his mother/control buttons). The fact that it is in Leo may signify a couple of things. One - that he wants someone to give him full-time attention, so he is leaving with the other woman. OR Two- that he is being "childish" (also a Leo trait) in his communcatin style (remember it IS his communication Sig) and so is just moving away without communicating his truth. (or both.)

Disengaging is the way to peace and healing for you. I pray that you find the root cause. It is probably in childhood - most rejection issues are. A possiblity in an absent father. (Chiron is intercepted between Cap (father) and Pisces (not seen).

I ask that you kindly give your thoughts, so I can grow in my astrological understanding.

Peace

[monique1]

Freedomlover,

You are accurate on so many levels, I don't know where to begin.

I do believe he has fond memories of me, and we shared something great....I really don't think he hates me at all, and I do think he may still have feelings for me. I also know that he knows that I still have feelings for him. I think this is why I am having a hard time letting go...I am hoping his feeling for me will grow again and he will want to at least be friends with me (if not more). And yes, he likes to have all the control in the relationships. That is the problem, he had a hard time letting go of me at one point, and he messed with my head. Now that he has let go, I don't know how to. I am also very upset that he has played with me and now that he has let go I am supposed to sweep my emotions under the rug and move on. You are also right that he loves the attention (especially as a leo). He loves to be in the spotlight, and I feel like he may also find it entertaining that I can't let go. He does have huge control issues, especially with women..he really needs to control the relationship.

I have finally come to the realization that I do have to let go because this obsession is not healthy.
In addition, you were right about me being mad about the other woman. He was talking to me again and wanted to see me when he was also talking to this other woman. When things went further with this other woman he just shut off his feelings for me. I got mad because I fell for his act again. We had a falling out and as of then we really talk randomly once every couple of months.

Yes, you are also correct that he is dating someone else right now. I don't know how well it is going because we aren't talking much right now. I have realized he is afraid to be alone and always needs to be in a relationship..he is a serial monogamist and doesn't know how to break that habit.

And yes, I believe he has pulled away, especially because he feels he knows I want to bring him closer to me. My last contact with him was two weeks ago. I have decided I will try not contact him anymore, it is up to him if he would like to make the effort. However, the problem is his birthday is August 13...do I call him???? Or is it best I not make any contact with him anymore?

I don't think I have abandonment issues...I had an amazing childhood with loving parents (are still married), but I do feel like I have low self esteem.

However, my ex does have abandonment issues, his parents were divorced at an early age, and his mother remarried a man who had two sons...so I believe this is a reason he needs to always be in a relationship. He is not living with her, but I know he must see her often.

Freedomlover, you did an incredible job reading my chart, you were extremely accurate. Let me know if you need any help.

I do need to know if I should contact him on his birthday which is next month? Should I post another chart or can you find the answer in the horary? Also, do you believe it is best I never contact him again? (since it does look like he is pulling away from me). Also, do you see a possibility of this situation changing with time, or is my relationship with him over (even as a friendship)? Your insight, although it is not what I wanted to hear, and is difficult to hear, is comforting. At least it brings me some understanding of an issue I felt I couldn't understand.

I cannot thank you enough, you are a blessing.
Monique

[freedomlover]

Monique1,

Thank you so much for the detailed feedback. I appreciate it greatly!

You wrote:

I don't think I have abandonment issues...I had an amazing childhood with loving parents (are still married), but I do feel like I have low self esteem.

Everybody has some kind of issues in the love department. If you feel yours is low self-esteem, let me run this by you: You admitted that it flared up with you when you found out about the other woman. I've seen this kind of issue have its root in sibling rivalry, or in school - competing with another for the attention of the same guy, and losing. (If it went from "carrying a torch" to an "obsession" when he started distancing himself from you because of this other woman, then that could very well be the root.) You've let someone's treatment or opinion of you wound you somewhere along the way.

I do need to know if I should contact him on his birthday which is next month? Should I post another chart or can you find the answer in the horary? Also, do you believe it is best I never contact him again? (since it does look like he is pulling away from me). Also, do you see a possibility of this situation changing with time, or is my relationship with him over (even as a friendship)? Your insight, although it is not what I wanted to hear, and is difficult to hear, is comforting. At least it brings me some understanding of an issue I felt I couldn't understand

As to whether you should contact him on his birthday or not, I'm afraid I can't tell you from the chart. If you feel you must, I would keep it light - an e-mail note or something - just to let him know you thought of him. I would take my cue from his interest in corresponding. If he continues the disinterest, I would send him a light birthday greeting - at most - and then move on with my life. The other girl may be the jealous type, too, and may be putting pressure on him. I'm afraid my advice hasn't changed. If you love him, let him go, if he returns to you, he is yours.

I'm glad I was accurate and able to give you understanding. I've mostly been just trying to do "practice" astrology reading - taking a stab at it to see how much I get right. That's sort of what I did with yours, but when I started looking at it, it started "clicking". I don't do a whole lot of serious chart interpretation for people. I kind of let the chart pick me - and yours seemed to be calling out my name. Must have been meant to be.

You'll get through this, Monique! If you don't put it to rest very soon, then the upcoming Venus retrograde may possibly give you a cosmic boost. I believe Venus goes retrograde from the last week in July to the first week in September.

Peace

[monique1]

Freedomlover,

I just think you are amazing. I think it was "meant to be" as well and I truly believe you are a blessing. You responded with such care, and were not judgemental...thank you.

As for my childhood, you are right again!! My older sister was very difficult on me and I have spent years trying to understand my low self esteem. Even though I have a doctorate degree, and I am at the infancy of what I hope to be a very successful career, I have a hard time understanding this self esteem issue. I also think this low self esteem gave me a minor case of social anxiety. It took me a while to realize this and where it came from. My older sister told me for years I would never amount to anything and I was a 'loser' in her eyes and the eyes of her friends (hence the social anxiety). So I think I settle for less than I deserve, and have a hard time leaving my house at times (not too often but it does happen). Logically I know I deserve better than what this man has given me. I am really trying to work on this, the first step is to recognize the problem.

I will let go, and have not made contact with him for several weeks now. I will contact him on his birthday by text message because I wouldn't feel right if I did not wish someone a happy birthday.

I was hoping Venus retrograde would give me some cosmic boost...it's funny you mentioned it.

Again, thank you freedomlover for all of your help, it means more to me than you realize. If you want me to ever direct some charts your way for practice I would be more than happy to do so

Sincerely,
Monique

[freedomlover]

Monique,

I am so happy I was able to give you some relief - hopefully Venus will give you some more later on this summer.

As to the directing charts my way.... If there is someone or some issue in particular that you really have a gut feeling that I could help, then by all means, do so. Otherwise, I'm just answering the ones that call out my name. I've got a lot of healing to do myself and am trying to focus on getting my own life in order. I'm trying to not get too involved in heavy-duty chart interpretation at this stage of my life - but I hope to do more in the near future. I loooove astrology!

All the best,

Freedomlover

[monique1]

Well thank you again freedomlover. I wish you a successful and insightful journey in your healing. I am always around if you need someone to talk to.

Monique