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Challenges in your chart
Jenna,
Thanks for giving your chart information. Yes, there are several challenges in your chart. One major one is you have Saturn (structuring) conjunct (energy is combined with) Nadir (inner world) conjunct Uranus (unstructuring), so at your basic "inner core" you build and break things down repeatedly. This tension between building up and breaking down is challenging and can be very confusing.
Adding to this confusion is your Mercury (thinking) opposite (energy is overexcited by) Neptune (spirituality) also confusion focused in the 4th house emotions). The way Neptune makes things "spiritual" is by breaking down the boundaries between things, so the boundaries between your mind and others' minds, between your thinking and others' thinking is being broken down. This can create confusion in separating your thoughts from others and, since your Neptune is focused in the 4th house, your emotions from others.
So you now know that you have, at your core, an energy that wants to "blend" you with everything else. This is very powerful spiritual energy which can only be experienced, not rationalized (i.e., not made into something "good" or "bad"). Your natural moving toward and blending into other people is further emphasized by having North node (future goals) focused in the 7th house (relationships). So your having personal interactions with others helps fulfill you and make you part of everything else.
Far from being "different" from others, your energy shows you that you ARE others, and they are you. As the Beatles said, "I am you and you are we and we are they..." Confusing? Of course! But it is YOUR life challenge and the basis of your spiritual connection to others. And that's WORTH a little confusion!
Spiritually,
Tim
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