ReincarnatedRainbow
Well-known member
What Is Up With My Mom Lately? She's Been Critical, Angry, Over-Defensive, & Violent
I can't stand my mom lately. Nothing big happened just now, but I was thinking about her, and I knew I had to find out before the next fight came.
She assumes that everything I say is full of attitude and criticism.
She'll say something she's accomplished and if I don't drop to my knees and praise her, she's calling me rude, selfish, cold hearted, and incapable of respecting anybody. Example:
Mom: I've been drinking more water lately. I only drink two cans of soda a day. I feel so much more energized and refreshed. I no longer toss and turn at night. I think it's because I'm not filled with caffeine like I usually am, you know? I think I may have even lost weight (by the way, she hasn't). I'm healthier now. I'm proud of myself.
Me: Mhm, that's good.
Mom: I'm really, really proud of myself. I mean, I don't drink water like you do, but I don't think you should be drinking so much water a day, anyway. Seven bottles a day is scary. But me, I've think I got down the perfect amount of water a day. I feel energized and refreshed, and I'm healthy. I'm so proud of myself. It just proves that if I want to do it, I can do it. At first, I just wanted to lose weight, and that's why I was drinking water, but it's no longer about the water now: It's about being healthy. And I'm proud of myself.
Me: You should be.
Mom: Well, you don't say that like you mean it.
Me: What?
Mom: You are so self-absorbed. You don't really care about my achievements. It's because it's all about you. I'm proud of myself, why can't you be?
Me: Uh...You drink two bottles of water a day. It's a good start. I'm not going to start jumping up and down for you.
Mom: WELL, WHY THE **** NOT?!
Me: Because it's two bottles a day. That's a good start, I mean, you're showing that you're making an effort. I'm just not extremely excited, that's all. Calm down.
Mom: Oh, you're not extremely excited? WHY CAN'T YOU BE? WHY NOT, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, YOU SHOW SOME PRIDE IN ME??!! OH, WAIT, I'M SORRY - I FORGOT THAT I'M JUST AN IDIOT FOR TRYING TO BE HEALTHY, RIGHT???
Me: No, not an idiot. Look - just stop yellin-
Mom: I'M NOT FREAKING YELLING. *slams fist on dinner table* YOU'RE SO SENSITIVE TO EVERYTHING. I'M A MONSTER BECAUSE I'M NOT USING MY inside voice.
Me: You are yelling! Listen to yourself!
Mom: I'M NOT YELLING, BUT I SHOULD, BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING A ******* *****. I DON'T KNOW WHY I COOKED DINNER FOR YOU, BECAUSE GOD KNOWS YOU NEVER APPRECIATE ANYTHING I DO. EVERYTHING I DO IS NEVER GOOD ENOUGH.
Me: That's not true. I like the dinner!
Mom: OH, SHUT THE **** UP, CAITE. Don't try to act as if you care.
Me: I don't care as much as you think I should, but I do care. I won't drop to my hands and knees. Drinking two bottles of water a day is less than what is expected. I'm sorry my mind isn't blown right now.
Mom: Oh, that's right. You can't be proud of your mom, but you can be sarcastic and a jerk, right? Aren't you proud of yourself? You're able to tear me down, how cool of you. You're so cool, Caite.
Me: What are you talking about? You think I'm a sadist? That I get pleasure from making you upset?
Mom: Well, it sure as hell looks like it.
Me: Stop being a drama queen!
Mom: Oh, I'm a drama queen? If I'm overtly dramatic, then you're an insensitive *****.
Me: Then, by your logic, I guess I am one. If that's how you wish to see me.
Mom: That's not how I wish to see you. But that's who you are. I need to stop expecting you to care about me. You never have, you never will.
Me: *walks out of dining room, towards bedroom*
Mom: Oh, that's right, walk away from your mom, who is in pain. Towards your internet! BECAUSE WE BOTH KNOW THAT YOU'D RATHER BE WITH IT ALL DAY, THAN TO BE WITH ME FOR LONGER THAN FIVE MINUTES.
She's always begging me for compliments, finding subliminal insults in everything I say, and accusing and blaming me for anything she doesn't like. Example:
Me: *in my room, hear a loud crash in the kitchen, run towards there*
Me: What was that?
Mom: *perfectly fine, cleaning refrigerator shelves on kitchen counter*
Mom: Oh, nothing, just one of the shelves fell off the counter.
Me: *sees shelf on floor*
Mom: It's plastic, though, so there's no sharp shards or anything to walk on.
Me: Okay. *turn back towards bedroom*
Mom: OH, I'M FINE, THANK YOU.
Me: Yeah, I know.
Mom: HOW WOULD YOU? YOU DIDN'T ASK IF I WAS FINE.
Me: I didn't have to. I saw you were fine.
Mom: You can't know that. I could've been hurt by the shelf.
Me: Mom, seriously? I was just in the kitchen. You said yourself you were fine. I didn't think I'd have to ask.
Mom: Of course, because there's no time to worry about me when your precious internet is waiting.
Me: Would you prefer me to read a book?
Mom: You couldn't even bother to pick up the shelf for me.
Me: I'm sorry, I figured you'd get it.
Mom: Oh, right, because I never get tired.
Me: Of what? Picking a plastic shelf up that weighs less than the cat?
Mom: I've been cleaning the kitchen all day. Maybe I should make you help me clean, so that you know what it's like to be tired.
Me: Okay.
Mom: You didn't even think that it'd be thoughtful of you to pick the shelf up for me?
Me: It's, like, two feet away from you.
Mom: And?
Me: Instead of being sarcastic, you could've just asked me to pick it up for you. Would you like me to pick it up for you?
Mom: Don't waste your precious internet time.
Me: *picks up shelf*
Mom: PUT THAT THE **** DOWN. I DON'T WANT YOUR ******* HELP. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU MEAN IT.
Me: *leaves*
Mom: THAT'S RIGHT. GOTTA GO GET YOUR INTERNET.
She attacks me every day. She's even thrown tender tantrums. In those fits of rage, she's broken the remote control, my glass figurines that my Mimi bought me, my can of bug spray, and a few of my hangers. She had actually aimed the bug spray at my head, but missed. When I confronted her much later about how she shouldn't break my stuff when she's mad, she told me blatantly that it was my fault that she had to resort to breaking stuff.
Every day she's mean to me. I'm constantly calling people to pick me up for the whole day, just because I can't be in the same house as her.
What is going on with her? And how can I handle her?
I can't stand my mom lately. Nothing big happened just now, but I was thinking about her, and I knew I had to find out before the next fight came.
She assumes that everything I say is full of attitude and criticism.
She'll say something she's accomplished and if I don't drop to my knees and praise her, she's calling me rude, selfish, cold hearted, and incapable of respecting anybody. Example:
Mom: I've been drinking more water lately. I only drink two cans of soda a day. I feel so much more energized and refreshed. I no longer toss and turn at night. I think it's because I'm not filled with caffeine like I usually am, you know? I think I may have even lost weight (by the way, she hasn't). I'm healthier now. I'm proud of myself.
Me: Mhm, that's good.
Mom: I'm really, really proud of myself. I mean, I don't drink water like you do, but I don't think you should be drinking so much water a day, anyway. Seven bottles a day is scary. But me, I've think I got down the perfect amount of water a day. I feel energized and refreshed, and I'm healthy. I'm so proud of myself. It just proves that if I want to do it, I can do it. At first, I just wanted to lose weight, and that's why I was drinking water, but it's no longer about the water now: It's about being healthy. And I'm proud of myself.
Me: You should be.
Mom: Well, you don't say that like you mean it.
Me: What?
Mom: You are so self-absorbed. You don't really care about my achievements. It's because it's all about you. I'm proud of myself, why can't you be?
Me: Uh...You drink two bottles of water a day. It's a good start. I'm not going to start jumping up and down for you.
Mom: WELL, WHY THE **** NOT?!
Me: Because it's two bottles a day. That's a good start, I mean, you're showing that you're making an effort. I'm just not extremely excited, that's all. Calm down.
Mom: Oh, you're not extremely excited? WHY CAN'T YOU BE? WHY NOT, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, YOU SHOW SOME PRIDE IN ME??!! OH, WAIT, I'M SORRY - I FORGOT THAT I'M JUST AN IDIOT FOR TRYING TO BE HEALTHY, RIGHT???
Me: No, not an idiot. Look - just stop yellin-
Mom: I'M NOT FREAKING YELLING. *slams fist on dinner table* YOU'RE SO SENSITIVE TO EVERYTHING. I'M A MONSTER BECAUSE I'M NOT USING MY inside voice.
Me: You are yelling! Listen to yourself!
Mom: I'M NOT YELLING, BUT I SHOULD, BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING A ******* *****. I DON'T KNOW WHY I COOKED DINNER FOR YOU, BECAUSE GOD KNOWS YOU NEVER APPRECIATE ANYTHING I DO. EVERYTHING I DO IS NEVER GOOD ENOUGH.
Me: That's not true. I like the dinner!
Mom: OH, SHUT THE **** UP, CAITE. Don't try to act as if you care.
Me: I don't care as much as you think I should, but I do care. I won't drop to my hands and knees. Drinking two bottles of water a day is less than what is expected. I'm sorry my mind isn't blown right now.
Mom: Oh, that's right. You can't be proud of your mom, but you can be sarcastic and a jerk, right? Aren't you proud of yourself? You're able to tear me down, how cool of you. You're so cool, Caite.
Me: What are you talking about? You think I'm a sadist? That I get pleasure from making you upset?
Mom: Well, it sure as hell looks like it.
Me: Stop being a drama queen!
Mom: Oh, I'm a drama queen? If I'm overtly dramatic, then you're an insensitive *****.
Me: Then, by your logic, I guess I am one. If that's how you wish to see me.
Mom: That's not how I wish to see you. But that's who you are. I need to stop expecting you to care about me. You never have, you never will.
Me: *walks out of dining room, towards bedroom*
Mom: Oh, that's right, walk away from your mom, who is in pain. Towards your internet! BECAUSE WE BOTH KNOW THAT YOU'D RATHER BE WITH IT ALL DAY, THAN TO BE WITH ME FOR LONGER THAN FIVE MINUTES.
She's always begging me for compliments, finding subliminal insults in everything I say, and accusing and blaming me for anything she doesn't like. Example:
Me: *in my room, hear a loud crash in the kitchen, run towards there*
Me: What was that?
Mom: *perfectly fine, cleaning refrigerator shelves on kitchen counter*
Mom: Oh, nothing, just one of the shelves fell off the counter.
Me: *sees shelf on floor*
Mom: It's plastic, though, so there's no sharp shards or anything to walk on.
Me: Okay. *turn back towards bedroom*
Mom: OH, I'M FINE, THANK YOU.
Me: Yeah, I know.
Mom: HOW WOULD YOU? YOU DIDN'T ASK IF I WAS FINE.
Me: I didn't have to. I saw you were fine.
Mom: You can't know that. I could've been hurt by the shelf.
Me: Mom, seriously? I was just in the kitchen. You said yourself you were fine. I didn't think I'd have to ask.
Mom: Of course, because there's no time to worry about me when your precious internet is waiting.
Me: Would you prefer me to read a book?
Mom: You couldn't even bother to pick up the shelf for me.
Me: I'm sorry, I figured you'd get it.
Mom: Oh, right, because I never get tired.
Me: Of what? Picking a plastic shelf up that weighs less than the cat?
Mom: I've been cleaning the kitchen all day. Maybe I should make you help me clean, so that you know what it's like to be tired.
Me: Okay.
Mom: You didn't even think that it'd be thoughtful of you to pick the shelf up for me?
Me: It's, like, two feet away from you.
Mom: And?
Me: Instead of being sarcastic, you could've just asked me to pick it up for you. Would you like me to pick it up for you?
Mom: Don't waste your precious internet time.
Me: *picks up shelf*
Mom: PUT THAT THE **** DOWN. I DON'T WANT YOUR ******* HELP. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU MEAN IT.
Me: *leaves*
Mom: THAT'S RIGHT. GOTTA GO GET YOUR INTERNET.
She attacks me every day. She's even thrown tender tantrums. In those fits of rage, she's broken the remote control, my glass figurines that my Mimi bought me, my can of bug spray, and a few of my hangers. She had actually aimed the bug spray at my head, but missed. When I confronted her much later about how she shouldn't break my stuff when she's mad, she told me blatantly that it was my fault that she had to resort to breaking stuff.
Every day she's mean to me. I'm constantly calling people to pick me up for the whole day, just because I can't be in the same house as her.
What is going on with her? And how can I handle her?
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